How Do You Say No to a Dying Boy?by Joshua Allen"Son, what are you doing?"John took the end of shotgun barrel out of his mouth."Nothing, Dad.""Get up out of the snow.""I'm sorry. I was tired.""I found a good patch, just over there." Inver pointed to afence line down the far end of a long slope, where a tree hungover the rusty barbwire and the grass poked in, making lean-tosand warrens for birds to hide. It was the perfect spot to find apheasant. They would find one there or they wouldn't find one atall. If he had bought a dog, like John always wanted, the dogwould be standing there now, pointing."I'm sorry, Dad," John said after he stood."You're tired, I know. It's okay to rest."

"Yeah?""No more monkeying around with the gun, though.""Okay, Dad."They walked toward the fence. About halfway they had to stopso John could catch his breath. John didn't ask Inver to carryhis gun and Inver didn't offer. When he had his wind back, theywent on.John had to rest again at the base of the hill. He went downon one knee despite the damp muddiness of the ground. Inverlooked down the fence line. John was careful not to touch thebarbwire and scare away the pheasants before they could getwithin range. The dog they never bought looked back, waiting.Expectant."Watch your line of sight," Inver said. "We see one, I'mgoing to duck. You take the first shot, no matter where it is,and I'll shoot while you're reloading."John nodded. The gun looked so heavy in his hands. John'sarms trembled. John broke the single-shot gun open, caught theloaded shell that shot out, and stuffed it back into the breach."I guess I'm ready."Inver was still. He squinted down the fence line. The sunwas already starting to set, though John had only actuallygotten to hunt maybe an hour total.

"I could go to the truck, you know." He pointed at thedistant red sun. "A beautiful view. I wouldn't mind going off onmy own for a few minutes, get a good vantage point to see thatsunset.""Did it hurt, Dad? When you got sick?""It wasn't really the same thing.""I know. But did it?"The dog that was not real whined. Inver nodded. "The curewas worse, but it all hurt. Real bad, I guess. So much thatstrength and determination and faith and all that bullshitbecame irrelevant.""I think I'm ready." John pointed down the fence line. "Youwant me to take the north side, or the south side?"The birds would likely shoot out north, in the direction ofthe fence, where the grass was mowed and the resistance less.And it would be easier going for John, though Inver knew Johnwould never complain. "You take the north."* * *Inver didn't much like this time of year, when winter turnedto spring. It was muddy and wet and cold, then hot, then coldagain. Besides that, pheasant season was closed not, and it wastoo cold to fish yet. He pulled his truck into the parkinggarage under the hospital and put it in park. When he turned thekey off, the engine dieseled, surging as though still alive even