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Why don’t you ever praise me?
The dictionary defines praise as the act of expressing approval, admiration or commendation. Every one of us desires praise at some level, and in one form or another. Praise is a member of the family of emotional needs: validation, recognition,approval, acceptance, support, encouragement, significance, self-expression, bonding,friendship, and so forth.Children and praiseMany of my adult clients suffer from various emotional symptoms as a result of notreceiving praise as a child which is also equivalent to validation and guidance. Adultswho didn’t receive praise as a child often suffer from self-doubt, insecurity and alingering sense of not being or feeling good enough. Some turn into perfectionists,workaholics, or highly judgmental people. Unfortunately, today, the balance has tipped infavor of unhealthy praise by parents for their children.Unhealthy refers to false praise which can create even more emotional problems intoadulthood such as narcissism, vanity, depression and the inability to form meaningfuland fulfilling relationships. Healthy praise is the act of expressing approval, admiration, commendation,congratulations and credit for specific reasons and particularly for accomplishments.The key to all praise is that it be deserved. Here are some other tips for praisingchildren: 
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Praise a child based on her own progress (teach her to improve her ownperformance rather than compete with others)
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Encourage good behavior with praise
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Reward the attainment of specific goals, not just participation
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Praise small improvements and successes
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Be descriptive and specific with your praiseFew adults, business leaders and even CEOs of major companies know how to praiseproperly and effectively. Most of us don’t realize that whatever it is that you praise, youwill get more of. I was training a group of hotels from one of the world’s largest hotelchains. I asked participants to take turns in giving praise to fellow team members. Iasked one gentleman to stand up and praise the head chef. This man stood up andproceeded to congratulate the chef for the superb Seafood Omelette, mentioning howmuch he enjoyed it. I asked the participants if they believed the chef would want to cookthat same omelette again. The answer was a resounding yes. Now I began to praise thechef for the same omelette: I mentioned the creativity, presentation, hard work, thought,care and time the chef had given to prepare this omelette as well as the result andpleasure I received from it. I asked the chef which praise did he prefer, mine or the other man’s. He said mine. Why? I praised his specific qualities and dish rather than just thespecific dish; my praise encouraged him to express more of these qualities rather thancook more of the same omelettes. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the man who gavethe initial praise was a manager of one of the hotels. Later, when we spoke, he said he
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