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The Overcoming Christian Life
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
The Christian life is an overcoming life. Even though we will definitely have problems and personal struggles in this life, we will be able to overcome because of Jesus. Because of Him, we have victory over the world, including sinful habits, bitterness, loneliness, guilt, fear, and discouragement.Dear reader, God wants you to live an overcoming life! Please read the followinglessons with faith—not faith in yourselves, but faith in God.
Lesson 3 - Overcoming Resentment
4:26-27
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and donot give the devil a foothold.
Introduction
Because we still live on earth and are not in heaven yet, it is inevitable thatsomeone will “rub us the wrong way” or say something to offend us, either intentionallyor unintentionally. Definitely, there are times when our feelings are hurt by others. Wemay feel angry or sad, or maybe both. But if we allow our indignation to linger in our hearts, it will eventually turn into resentment. Resentment is a foothold for the devil inour hearts. The devil uses resentment to drive a wedge between relationships in thefamily or church. Because of resentment, small issues become bigger ones. Because of resentment, people will show bias or do other things to poison relationships. Eventually,resentment will turn into bitterness, which is the topic of another lesson.The Bible teaches us to overcome resentment through reconciliation or by not being offended in the first place. We should also learn the causes of resentment so we canavoid resentment in ourselves and others.
Causes of Resentment
1. Uncontrolled tongue
Too often, people say overly harsh, sarcastic, or unkind words that hurt others’feelings and cause resentment. We might say the right thing, but at the wrong time. Wemight speak the truth, but with condemnation instead of love. Or, we might just be reallyangry and say something to hurt the other person. The Apostle James says the tongue is a powerful instrument that can be used for godly or destructive purposes.
James 3:2-10
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn thewhole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of hislife on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, whohave been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. Mybrothers, this should not be.
What we say with our mouths is very important. Words have power. We shouldspeak godly words and encourage one another. We should aim to build people up, not tear them down.James also gives some important ground-rules for Christian speech: Be quick tolisten, slow to speak. Don’t simply shoot back with harsh words! First, listen carefully.Take time to think about the situation. Then, think about what you are going to say andcontrol your speech. Don’t let your words flow out without any control whatsoever. If wecontrol our tongues, we will prevent resentment in others.
2. Unforgiving attitude
Another cause of resentment is an unforgiving attitude. Unfortunately, it is all-too-natural for us to have an unforgiving attitude because our personal dignity demands justice. In our eyes, the other person is certainly wrong and should compensate for our hurt feelings.Justice is certainly a good thing. We want our government to be just. In thecourtroom, we expect the innocent to be set free and the criminal to be punished. But before we demand justice from others, we must first think of the forgiveness we havereceived from God. When God sent His son Jesus, He did not come to condemn theworld, but to save it. He did not judge us, but showed us mercy and forgiveness. In thesame way, when we relate to others, we should not keep track of every small offense, buthave a forgiving attitude.If we insist on justice from people who offend us, how can we expect to beforgiven by God? Jesus illustrated this point in a parable where a master forgave hisservant’s very large debt. But after the servant left his master, he met another servant whoowed him a small sum. Instead of forgiving his fellow servant, the first servant demanded justice and had the other man thrown in jail. When the master found out about this, he punished the first servant harshly. Jesus told this parable to remind us we are all forgivenservants—how can we withhold mercy from others when God has forgiven us so much?Jesus said, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” This is a very difficult teaching to practice, but it is at the core of Christianity.
Matthew 18:32-35
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said. ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers tobe tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.’ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brothers from your heart.”
3. Insensitivity to other people’s feelings
Many times, we are unaware of the hurt we cause other people. Small offenseswill eventually pile up and create resentment; not because of the offenses themselves, butsimply because of our insensitivity. In these situations, the person who is offended maynot be able to pinpoint a specific action that makes them resentful, and we also may notthink too much about it because we haven’t done anything too terrible. However,insensitivity to others’ feelings is a major issue. We should think about how other peoplefeel and try to minimize hurt. Sometimes even small positive actions on our part cancount for a lot. For example, if someone cannot attend a regular activity because of their work schedule, we should still make them feel welcomed by sending invitations.Otherwise, that person’s feeling of “missing out” may only grow.Oftentimes, we are most insensitive to the feelings of those closest to us. For example, we may raise our voice with family members when we wouldn’t do that tosomeone outside the family. In a way, this is because we are comfortable with our familyand ease up on social etiquette. But we should not take our loved ones’ feelings for granted, even in small things.In terms of Christian ministry, we should remember that we are Jesus’ambassadors to the world. Because many times people only know Jesus through us, weshould make every effort to represent Jesus correctly. Paul tried his best not to puthimself in the way of people knowing God. He didn’t want to be a “stumbling block” that prevented people from growing spiritually.
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
Overcoming Resentment
1. Love
The only way to overcome resentment is to love those who offend us. If we can’tlove people who do wrong to us, then it will be impossible to truly overcome resentment.Jesus commands us to love those who offend us.
Matthew 6:43-48
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain
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