How to Use Emotional Control and Observation Skills To Become a Better Negotiator!

James W. Haile Jr., C.P.M. Procurement Manager McNeil Nutritionals

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Purpose
This interactive session will help you build up your personal capabilities in managing your emotions and perceptions toward achieving your business results when negotiations occur.
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AGENDA
Negotiation Basics Rational Thought and Critical Thinking Perception and Observation Listening Skills

Negotiating Hints and Tactics

Summary and Questions
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Who are We? Why are We Here?

Negotiation Basics

Definitions: Negotiations
To move or shift a belief, a position or course of action by creating a new set of values and behavior by providing relevant and believable information. A discussion of two or more parties respective wants and needs which aims for a mutually satisfying agreement. To create a need to obtain a product or service in exchange for something of value.

Creating The Negotiating Environment to Achieve Profitable Results

Integrative (aka Win-Win) Outcomes that is highly acceptable to both parties Distributive (aka Win-Lose & Lose-Win) Outcomes that have one party exceeding their goals and the other party falling short of their goals

Creating The Negotiating Environment to Achieve Profitable Results Negotiation is not by definition a process where one party must win and the other party must lose, although all too often it ends with that result.

Creating The Negotiating Environment to Achieve Profitable Results

Remember, the objective is to obtain profitable results. The purpose is not to embarrass, step on or kill the other party!
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Criteria For Excellent Personal and Professional Behavior

Emotional Control

Rational Thought Critical Thinking

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What Influences Emotional Control, Rational Thought and Critical Thinking?

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Emotions
Negotiation processes and outcomes may create both positive and negative feelings Joy, pain, happiness, anger, hate, impatience, competitiveness, bias, good vibrations, sadness, feeling bad, loss of face, liking a situation and stubbornness are some of the emotions that can be generated.
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Positive Emotional Impact on Negotiations

Integrative process more likely to be exhibited during the negotiations Creates a positive attitude toward the other side Promotes persistence

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Negative Emotional Impact on Negotiations

Leads to a Competitive or Distributive situation May undermine ones ability to analyze the situation accurately which adversely affects desired outcomes Negotiators may escalate the conflict Parties may feel the need to retaliate and thus thwart integrative outcomes
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Items that Influence Our Thinking

Our personal needs Our upbringing and experiences The way we view life The value programming that we place on ourselves and others Our personality
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Items that Influence Our Thinking

List five items that some people exhibit or have that really turn you off

List five items that some people exhibit or have that you really admire

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Items that Influence Our Thinking

Gain an understanding of your likes and dislikes because these are your hot buttons that can affect your thinking in negative ways when negotiating These items can be the color of someones clothes, their manner of speech, words actually used, the way they sit, the way they shake your hand, their celebrity status, actions taken, their age or many other characteristics or behaviors.
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Items that Influence Our Thinking

Hot buttons can be good or bad. Examples: 1. That new salesperson is a former professional athlete who was my idol when I was growing up. I cant wait until I do business with him 2. He dresses too nicely. Must be making a fortune! Learn how to manage your thinking
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Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results!

If emotional control and focus is lost, you will never ACHIEVE your goals and objectives!
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Engaging Your Brain!

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Controlling Your Thoughts and Emotional Responses! Keep your eyes on the prize. Objectives, Purpose, Goals, Vision or Mission !

Focused

Self remember and Self observe!

Instinct

Ego

Rational Thought Process

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Observation and Perception

What Am I Looking at?

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Observation and Perception

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Observation and Perception

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Observation and Perception

What you see is not what you always get? Dont go for the obvious. Ask questions and challenge! Do not be a Surface Observer or Learner. Be aware of everything that is around you! Be Focused! Dont get faked out of the game!
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Non-Verbal Observations
Definition: Any information that your senses perceive that is not written or spoken Examples: Physical Gestures and Attitudes

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Non-Verbal Observations
Not looking you in the eyes (mistrust, fear) Watching the clock/watch (impatient or going somewhere) Yawning (Bored, not focused, inattentive) Sitting on edge of seat (paying attention, interested in what you are saying) Arms folded across chest (defensive)
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Non-Verbal Observations
Stroking Chin (evaluating) Packing their bags (Im out of here!) Stepping aside or backing away (deference) Head in palm of hand (bored) Hands on Hips (ready, set, go) Hands behind head and leaning back (territorially dominant, has answers already)
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Listening Skills

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Why is Listening Important?

Builds respect and trust! Courtesy: Treat people as you want to be treated! Information gathering purposes! Understanding and Alignment (U&A) Supports creativity, flexibility and quick thinking on the feet during the negotiations.
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Listening Skills
Completely focused vs selective listening Did you understand what you heard? Is the speaker saying one thing, but meaning something else? Words and Music aligned? Are you talking too much to listen to others? Silence is Golden! Listen, dont evaluate!
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Listening Skills
Dont be distracted by gestures or mannerisms! Be patient and understanding to the speaker!

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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

Make sure that when negotiating, keep all discussions around the Purpose/Goals of the meeting. If discussions go off-track, bring them back to the Purpose/Goals Keep the conversation at the organizational level versus the individual level. Stay away from the personality and behavior issues at this time
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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

If you reach the Brink of Insanity, call for a caucus with your team. Take a break! If you get an impasse or things break down to a personal level, ask for another member of their team, as well as your team to comment or sit in as a straw man to participate to reduce the personality tensions.
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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

Avoid reacting to smart remarks! Stay focused on the Purpose and your position. Ignore and disarm them by not reacting to rants and ill advised remarks. Resolve the easy stuff first. If you hit a snag, move to another item and park the difficult one for later on in the meeting.

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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

When you go back to the difficult item, determine what this issue means in terms of everything else that has been negotiated. Ask the question, How much energy do you have on this issue? Negotiate appropriately from there.?
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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

If the impasse continues, ask these questions:

-What is the basis for your position on this issue? -What is your perceptions or beliefs around this issue
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Negotiating Hints and Tactics

Probe their comments with questions that indicate genuine interest and understanding. Discuss faulty perceptions/beliefs, as a shift in time, conditions, resources or faulty facts. Share your own beliefs and get him to walk in our shoes. Try to resolve again.
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How to be Successful in Your Negotiations!

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Summary
Thinking Drives Behavior Equals Results

Understand Your Own Emotional Hot Buttons

Be A Good Listener Silence is your Friend Be Observant and Understand Stay Focused on your Goals
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