I started out as nothing more than someone. Just like most of the born-muslims in my country, I understood religion to be some part of my life but not something that wouldpay an important role in my daily routine. I wasn't religious; I didn't pray and when Idid it was only the easy prayers of Zuhr or Asr and sometimes Isha. Magrib went toofast for me. So I didn't actually know what I was bringing myself to, although I knew that It was wrong to leave prayers and I shouldn't do that. But again I used to excusemyself with pretty flimsy reasons for not praying, mostly which included “I don't havetime, I'm too busy", " I'm too tired" or "I got something very important to do". I knew it was wrong, I felt it within me, but still I set up my own criteria. I thought it was okay to leave prayer when you got some excuses. EVEN THEN I KNEW IT WAS WRONG,BUT SOMETHING KEPT ME PUSHING TOWARDS THAT WRONG. Then there werelittle things that I didn't do and they coupled up to give some hard time. Anyways, I got on with my life like this. I went through tough times in my life as a girl.My parents had three girls including me and no son, and it was quite frustrating forthem to manage us...though I am extremely thankful to them for whatever they'vegiven me. So I compromised with the situation and had this sticker on my headlabeled "gloomy". Well time passed and nothing seemed to change.Then I entered this high school. During my O'levels, I went through rather bizarrefeeling and I didn't quite have a purpose in life. My grades were going lower and lowerand I just didn't know why. I just was deeply affected by what I saw in movies and wellkept on trying to get out of real life and live in imagination. During my holidays, my main ambition was to watch a favourite movie or doing something as to improve my skills on something. I didn't basically have any talent, so what I did was planning to dothis and that, until I ended up with nothing. Then I found myself a mission, I wantedto have good grades. Just like any other kid, I wanted to make my parents proud. I worked and studied hard and yeah it felt good. My teachers were amazed and I felt"Man......I'm good!” During my last year of O'levels I felt this congestion right withinme. I knew I was missing something; I was missing something very important. And Iknew what it was......I needed to get back to my religion. But again I didn't have time todo so. My exams were coming up and.....whoa...I really studied hard thanks to Allahthat I was able to. I got good grades and well at that point I thought I had secured my
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