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1
Stage Door
Screenplay by Morrie Ryskind & Anthony Veiller  Based on the play by Edna Ferber & George S. Kaufman
1–6 EXT. FOOTLIGHTS CLUB—DUSKFADE INLONG SHOT of a row of brownstone-front houses in New York. From one of the houses we see girls entering andleaving the house—general street activity—DISSOLVE“FOOTLIGHTS CLUB”—on the front of this house.DISSOLVE7 INT. LOWER HALL AND LIVING ROOM—FOOTLIGHTS CLUBDust pan—broom—as dust being swept into pan, we hear voice singing “IL BACIO” by L. Arditi—as Hattie stoopsdown into scene, CAMERA PULLS BACK AND PANS UP—we see maid, Hattie singing; girls scattered over b.g.in living room CAMERA PANS WITH Hattie as she crosses, dumps an ashtray into dust pan—on table beside Judithwho sits reading—Olga is playing the piano. Bernice enters to mail rack.JUDITH:Do you have to do that?ANN:Oh, pipe down...Hattie continues singing. Phone rings.JUDITH:
(without looking up from magazine)
Get that customer, Hattie.EVE:If it’s for me, I’m in...Hattie, still singing—CAMERA PANNING WITH her—crosses to phone at desk in hall, picks up receiver as Lindacomes down stairs.HATTIE:
(sings)
It rings and it sings—tra-la...
(into phone)
Hello...LINDA:Is it for me?HATTIE:I dunno.
(into phone)
Miss Judith? Oh, Miss Judith...CAMERA PANS WITH Linda as she comes on down stairs. Mary Frances enters and goes up. Linda comes downinto living room as we hears, off:LINDA:
(stopping beside Judith)
It’s yours, Judy.Judith rises and crosses out to phone. Linda turns to girls in room.LINDA:Hello, hags...Some look up. Linda glances out window. Mary Lou enters with bag of pecans.MARY LOU:Look what Mother sent me from Louisiana.EVE:
(rising)
What are they?MARY LOU:Pecans.EVE:Pecans? Let’s open one—maybe there’s a check in it.BOBBY:Give me one.Linda now seated. Girls crowd around, getting pecans.8 DIFFERENT ANGLEA very determined and angry Jean comes whooping down stairs—Judith trying to talk over the phone.JUDITH:
(over phone)
Well, I had a date, but I guess I can get out of it...Sure, I can geta girl...
 
2
Jean reaches newel post near Judith.JEAN:Where is she?JUDITH:
(Into phone)
Okay!
(to Jean)
Who?Jean goes on by.JUDITH:
(into phone)
Not you.CAMERA PANS WITH Jean on into living room. She stops before Linda.JEAN:Oh, there you are!LINDA:I beg your pardon.JEAN:Come on—take ‘em off!LINDA:Are you speaking to me?JEAN:You heard what I said—take off my stockings...LINDA:
(overlapping Jean)
What stockings?JEAN:If you don’t take ‘em off, I will and I’ll take off the hide right with them.
(starts removing Linda’s stockings)
LINDA:Wait a minute! These are my stockings.JEAN:Oh, no, they’re not If you think I’m going to give up my lunch to buy youstockings, you’re crazy!LINDA:Well—you owe me a pair, anyway.
(starts to remove other stocking)
ADELE:Oh, Mrs. Orcutt, Linda’s doing a strip-tease.LINDA:Oh, is that so!The ad lib here is all overlapped.SUSAN:You’d get a bigger crowd in the street.EVE:Why don’t you split ‘em—a stocking a piece?JEAN:From now on, you wear your own stockings or go bare-legged. The places yougo, it doesn’t make any difference, anyway.LINDA:
(rises)
Is that so?JEAN:Yes that’s so. Stretching my size eight over your big clodhopper twelves.LINDA:Can I help it if I get a Singer’s midget for a roommate?9 CLOSE SHOTLuther seated crocheting. Mrs. Orcutt hurries in—looks o.s. to girls.MRS. ORCUTT:What’s the trouble?LUTHER:Are you running a theatrical boarding house or a gymnasium?MRS. ORCUTT:Girls!
(rushing off to them)
10–12 PAN SHOTMrs. Orcutt comes rushing in to Linda and Jean who are still going about stockings.MRS. ORCUTT:Girls! Please! What’s going on here?LINDA:This hoyden accused me of stealing my own stockings.JEAN:She’s swiped her last pair of stockings from me.MRS. ORCUTT:
(all this overlapping)
How do you expect me to run a respectable house...JEAN:You’re doing the best you can with the people you’ve got.LINDA:I won’t be insulted by this little guttersnipe any longer.JEAN:
(shoving Linda)
I’ll guttersnipe you!LINDA:I’ll show you!MRS. ORCUTT:Now, here. I won’t have this going on in my house.
 
3
LINDA:It’s a good thing.TONY’S VOICE:
(from o.s.; overlapping)
Get the gloves!CAMERA PANS WITH Linda, Jean and Mrs. Orcutt to stairs in lower hall—dialogue from girls in living room o.s.overlapping lines.MADELEINE’S VOICE:Hey, Linda—let’s go wading.EVE’S VOICE:Let ‘em fight it out.MRS. ORCUTT:I wish you girls would find some other way to settle your differences.They all three stop at foot of stairs.JEAN:
(overlapping lines that follow)
I’ll flatten her ears flat against the side of herhead.LINDA:I’d like to see you try it.JEAN:Come on down here.EVE’S VOICE:The girls are just entering the ring.SUSAN’S VOICE:Maitland leads with a mouthful of air.LINDA:Well, I’m down here—so what?MRS. ORCUTT:Girls! Girls!LINDA:I won’t room with her any longer if you pay me for it.MRS. ORCUTT:Please, girls!JEAN:Good! It’s the best news I’ve had this year!LINDA:I’m moving right in with Madeleine this minute.MRS. ORCUTT:Please, girls!Linda starts up stairs. Jean speaks over Mrs. Orcutt’s last line.JEAN:That shouldn’t take long—everything you own is on your back.Mrs. Orcutt exits. Linda goes on up stairs. CAMERA PANS to include Judith still trying to talk over the tele-phone—Jean on stairs—from o.s. we hear:EVE’S VOICE:She’s down! She’s up! She’s down!JUDITH:
(holding hand over phone)
If this barroom brawl is over, I’d like to finish myconversation.JEAN:
(shouting up stairs after Linda; overlapping Judith’s line)
And when I get back to my room, you’re the only thing I want to find missing!JUDITH:
(into phone; also overlapping Jean)
Hello! What?...A riot?... Heavens no...Atthe Footlights Club? I should say not. Nothing exciting ever happens here.JEAN:
(to self, on finding run in hose; overlapping Judith)
Oh—oh—I knew it—Iknew it—Oh...JUDITH:
(still into phone)
Yes. All right... Eight o’clock. You betcha...Good-bye.
(hangsup)
13 CLOSE SHOT of Jean and Judith.JUDITH:
(to Jean)
Want a date?JEAN:Huh?JUDITH:I said, do you want a date?JEAN:Some more of those lumbermen?As Hattie, the maid, crosses through scene on way to front door:JEAN:That last couple we went stepping with were made of lumber... especially theirfeet.JUDITH:All right—you can stay here and gorge yourself on lamb stew again.
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