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The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Miscellany of Men, by G. K. Chesterton#13 in our series by G. K. ChestertonCopyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check thecopyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributingthis or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this ProjectGutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit theheader without written permission.Please read the "legal small print," and other information about theeBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included isimportant information about your specific rights and restrictions inhow the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make adonation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts****eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971*******These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****Title: A Miscellany of MenAuthor: G. K. ChestertonRelease Date: December, 1999 [EBook #2015][This file was last updated on February 22, 2003]Edition: 12Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ASCII*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MISCELLANY OF MEN ***This Etext prepared by Michael Pullen with proofreading assistanceby Michael K. Johnson and Joe MorettiA MISCELLANY OF MENBy G. K. CHESTERTONCONTENTS
 
THE SUFFRAGISTTHE POET AND THE CHEESETHE THINGTHE MAN WHO THINKS BACKWARDSTHE NAMELESS MANTHE GARDENER AND THE GUINEATHE VOTER AND THE TWO VOICESTHE MAD OFFICIALTHE ENCHANTED MANTHE SUN WORSHIPPERTHE WRONG INCENDIARYTHE FREE MANTHE HYPOTHETICAL HOUSEHOLDERTHE PRIEST OF SPRINGTHE REAL JOURNALISTTHE SENTIMENTAL SCOTTHE SECTARIAN OF SOCIETYTHE FOOLTHE CONSCRIPT AND THE CRISISTHE MISER AND HIS FRIENDSTHE MYSTAGOGUETHE RED REACTIONARYTHE SEPARATIST AND SACRED THINGSTHE MUMMERTHE ARISTOCRATIC 'ARRYTHE NEW THEOLOGIANTHE ROMANTIC IN THE RAINTHE FALSE PHOTOGRAPHERTHE SULTANTHE ARCHITECT OF SPEARSTHE MAN ON TOPTHE OTHER KIND OF MANTHE MEDIAEVAL VILLAINTHE DIVINE DETECTIVETHE ELF OF JAPANTHE CHARTERED LIBERTINETHE CONTENTED MANTHE ANGRY AUTHOR: HIS FAREWELLTHE SUFFRAGISTRightly or wrongly, it is certain that a man both liberal and chivalric,can and very often does feel a dis-ease and distrust touching thosepolitical women we call Suffragettes. Like most other popular sentiments,it is generally wrongly stated even when it is rightly felt. One part ofit can be put most shortly thus: that when a woman puts up her fists to aman she is putting herself in the only posture in which he is not afraidof her. He can be afraid of her speech and still more of her silence; butforce reminds him of a rusted but very real weapon of which he has grownashamed. But these crude summaries are never quite accurate in any matterof the instincts. For the things which are the simplest so long as theyare undisputed invariably become the subtlest when once they are disputed:which was what Joubert meant, I suppose, when he said, "It is not hard to
 
believe in God if one does not define Him." When the evil instincts ofold Foulon made him say of the poor, "Let them eat grass," the good andChristian instincts of the poor made them hang him on a lamppost with hismouth stuffed full of that vegetation. But if a modern vegetarianaristocrat were to say to the poor, "But why don't you like grass?" theirintelligences would be much more taxed to find such an appropriaterepartee. And this matter of the functions of the sexes is primarily amatter of the instincts; sex and breathing are about the only two thingsthat generally work best when they are least worried about. That, Isuppose, is why the same sophisticated age that has poisoned the worldwith Feminism is also polluting it with Breathing Exercises. We plunge atonce into a forest of false analogies and bad blundering history; whilealmost any man or woman left to themselves would know at least that sex isquite different from anything else in the world.There is no kind of comparison possible between a quarrel of man and woman(however right the woman may be) and the other quarrels of slave andmaster, of rich and poor, or of patriot and invader, with which theSuffragists deluge us every day. The difference is as plain as noon;these other alien groups never came into contact until they came intocollision. Races and ranks began with battle, even if they afterwardsmelted into amity. But the very first fact about the sexes is that theylike each other. They seek each other: and awful as are the sins andsorrows that often come of their mating, it was not such things that madethem meet. It is utterly astounding to note the way in which modernwriters and talkers miss this plain, wide, and overwhelming fact: onewould suppose woman a victim and nothing else. By this account ideal,emancipated woman has, age after age, been knocked silly with a stone axe.But really there is no fact to show that ideal, emancipated woman wasever knocked silly; except the fact that she is silly. And that mighthave arisen in so many other ways. Real responsible woman has never beensilly; and any one wishing to knock her would be wise (like thestreetboys) to knock and run away. It is ultimately idiotic to comparethis prehistoric participation with any royalties or rebellions. Genuineroyalties wish to crush rebellions. Genuine rebels wish to destroy kings.The sexes cannot wish to abolish each other; and if we allow them anysort of permanent opposition it will sink into something as base as aparty system.As marriage, therefore, is rooted in an aboriginal unity of instincts, youcannot compare it, even in its quarrels, with any of the mere collisionsof separate institutions. You could compare it with the emancipation ofnegroes from planters--if it were true that a white man in early youthalways dreamed of the abstract beauty of a black man. You could compareit with the revolt of tenants against a landlord--if it were true thatyoung landlords wrote sonnets to invisible tenants. You could compare itto the fighting policy of the Fenians--if it were true that every normalIrishman wanted an Englishman to come and live with him. But as we knowthere are no instincts in any of these directions, these analogies are notonly false but false on the cardinal fact. I do not speak of thecomparative comfort or merit of these different things: I say they aredifferent. It may be that love turned to hate is terribly common insexual matters: it may be that hate turned to love is not uncommon in therivalries of race or class. But any philosophy about the sexes thatbegins with anything but the mutual attraction of the sexes, begins with afallacy; and all its historical comparisons are as irrelevant andimpertinent as puns.
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