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 The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cobwebs From an Empty Skullby Ambrose Bierce (AKA: Dod Grile) This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: Cobwebs From an Empty SkullAuthor: Ambrose Bierce (AKA: Dod Grile)Release Date: June 30, 2004 [EBook #12793]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-8859-1*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COBWEBS FROM AN EMPTY SKULL***Produced by Sandra Brown and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.[Illustration]COBWEBSFROMAN EMPTY SKULL.BYDOD GRILE.ILLUSTRATED WITH ENGRAVINGS BY DALZIEL BROTHERS.[Illustration] _LONDON AND NEW YORK:_ GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS1874
 
 To my friend,SHERBURNE B. EATON.CONTENTSFables of Zambri, the Parsee.Brief Seasons of Intellectual Dissipation.Divers Tales.1. The Grateful Bear.2. The Setting Sachem.3. Feodora.4. The Legend of Immortal Truth.5. Converting a Prodigal.6. Four Jacks and a Knave.7. Dr. Deadwood, I Presume.8. Nut-Cracking9. The Magician's Little Joke10. Seafaring.11. Tony Rollo's Conclusion.12. No Charge for Attendance.13. Pernicketty's Fright.14. Juniper.15. Following the Sea.16. A Tale of Spanish Vengeance.17. Mrs. Dennison's Head.18. A Fowl Witch.19. The Civil Service in Florida.20. A Tale of the Bosphorus.21. John Smith.22. Sundered Hearts.23. The Early History of Bath.24. The Following Dorg.25. Snaking.26. Maud's Papa.27. Jim Beckwourth's Pond.28. Stringing a Bear.PREFACE. The matter of which this volume is composed appeared originally in thecolumns of "FUN," when the wisdom of the Fables and the truth of the Tales tended to wholesomely diminish the levity of that jocund sheet. Their publication in a new form would seem to be a fitting occasion tosay something as to their merit.
 
Homer's "Iliad," it will be remembered, was but imperfectlyappreciated by Homer's contemporaries. Milton's "Paradise Lost" was solightly regarded when first written, that the author received buttwenty-five pounds for it. Ben Jonson was for some time blind to thebeauties of Shakespeare, and Shakespeare himself had but small esteemfor his own work.Appearing each week in "FUN," these Fables and Tales very soonattracted the notice of the Editor, who was frank enough to say,afterward, that when he accepted the manuscript he did not quiteperceive the quality of it. The printers, too, into whose hands itcame, have since admitted that for some days they felt very littleinterest in it, and could not even make out what it was all about.When to these evidences I add the confession that at first I did notmyself observe anything extraordinary in my work, I think I need sayno more: the discerning public will note the parallel, and my modestybe spared the necessity of making an ass of itself.D.G.FABLES OF ZAMBRI, THE PARSEE.[Illustration]I.A certain Persian nobleman obtained from a cow gipsy a small oyster.Holding him up by the beard, he addressed him thus:"You must try to forgive me for what I am about to do; and you mightas well set about it at once, for you haven't much time. I shouldnever think of swallowing you if it were not so easy; but opportunityis the strongest of all temptations. Besides, I am an orphan, and veryhungry.""Very well," replied the oyster; "it affords me genuine pleasure tocomfort the parentless and the starving. I have already done my bestfor our friend here, of whom you purchased me; but although she has anamiable and accommodating stomach, _we couldn't agree_. For thistrifling incompatibility--would you believe it?--she was about to stewme! Saviour, benefactor, proceed.""I think," said the nobleman, rising and laying down the oyster, "Iought to know something more definite about your antecedents beforesuccouring you. If you couldn't agree with your mistress, you areprobably no better than you should be."People who begin doing something from a selfish motive frequently dropit when they learn that it is a real benevolence.
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