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Published by dhauser

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Published by: dhauser on Jul 10, 2009
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07/10/2009

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ScreenplayClueless at the Ref Desk: a Phone Fiasco(With Redemptive Second Act)Dian Hauser LI802
 
Clueless at the Ref Desk: a Phone Fiasco(A typical reference desk, except that library employee appears to be filing her nails andchewing gum. The phone begins to ring.)rrrrrrrrrrng, rrrrrrng rrrrrng rrrrrng rnnnng.....(Regina [reference queen] looks at phone with distaste and reluctantly puts down her nail file.)R: (bored, stifling a yawn) Yes, what is it?P: (patron, hesitates, unsure if he has gotten the right number)Is this the Anytown Public Library?R: (tone of “duh!”) Yes.P: (uncertain) Is this the Reference Desk?R: (large sigh) Yes.P: (trying to make a new beginning) I'd like to know if you have a book.R: We have lots of books. (chuckles at her own cleverness)P; (now feeling foolish) well, the name of this book is “The Game.”R: (rolling her eyes, and sighing)Sir, there are only, like, five books in our collection with that name.P: Would it help if I told you who the author is?R: Yes.P: Well, it's something like Peterson, or Pearson. (patron wonders how he could be sostupid and have called so unprepared)R: (sighing audibly as she looks at screen) Well, you're lucky because there's only one“The Game” by a Justa Person, so that must be it.
 
P: (would like to be more clarification, but feels he's caused quite enough trouble)Okay, I'll take it!R: Our policy is that I have to go look for it and bring it to the front desk for you to pick up there.P: (unsure of how he's supposed to respond) Okay...R: (pushes the hold button)P: (surprised at being put on hold, but figures it's all he deservesafter causing so much trouble)R: (languidly rises from her chair, slips on her high heels, takes a sip of her drink, tellsher co-worker something to which they both laugh, and saunters off to claim the book. She returns because she forgot the call number by the time she got to thecorrect section of the stacks. She retraces her steps, her feet hurt...)P: (meanwhile, wonders how long he should wait before hanging up,it has been three minutes so far)(The patron is having time to realize that he has not been dealt with very professionally. Threeminutes become four and now he's MAD. He realized that for the humiliation he's suffered, the$24.99 to buy the books at the local Barnes & Noble is a small price. At least THEY don'tmake him feel stupid? Really mad now he vows never to call or darken the door of any libraryagain!)R: having found the book, picks up the phoneP: click (the sound of a disconnect)R: (fuming turns to colleague) The nerve! This is the fourth time this week someone'shung up on me! I don't know why I even try.

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