C H A P T E R I V: S E L F

ANALOG SOCIAL NETWORKING 101

Not digital, but real-world social networking. If your goal is to grow your personal brand into a public persona, the subtle, mysterious stranger approach is most often not going to cut it. There are only so many people that can pull off the J. D. Salinger route of becoming famous for not being seen. The easier (though more painful) route is to hire a publicistmore explicitly, hire yourself *and will yourself to want to impress the red-carpeted world of celebrities, CEOs, and Twitter famous. I cant hold your hand at the events, but here are ten tips for surviving them: 1. Value Quality over Quantity Your publicist will give you a social calendar thats jammed with events, insisting that you need to be at all of them. This is false. Separate the need to attends from the nice to attends, and this will serve you better in the long run. Chasing the second tier of events will exhaust you and overexpose you, and youll burn out faster than yesterdays news. 2. Dont Overtly Parrot Most of the management books tell you to parrot the person youre trying to impress, suggesting that you nod when she nods, touch your left nostril when she touches her left nostril, and then if she says, I love Lady Gaga! you say, Oh my God, I love Lady Gaga too!!!! The world

does not need more parroting, and its okay to not love Lady Gaga. 3. Use Mints If, at any point in the day, your mouth has been open and if youve con sumed food, chances are that your breath stinks. Do yourself a favor and freshen up your face. 4. Dont Name-Drop Its transparent and obnoxious. When I met George Lucas, even though at heart I was a starstruck fan boy, I would never say, I saw Harrison Ford last week! or I just played golf with Steven Spielberg! Lame. If you do want to slip in a name, its better to use one thats more mundane, more grounded, like the celebritys lawyer that you might happen to know. 5. Never Ask for a Card You can (and should) give out your business card, but never ask for one in return. If people want to give you a card, theyll give you their god damn card. 6. Respect the Handler The notable might have a handler (assistant, publicist, manager, as sociate) standing with him or her at the party. When you meet the notable, also introduce yourself to the sidekick, and when you give the notable a card, give the sidekick a card too. Treat handlers with respect. Not only is this the right thing to do, but this could be the hand of the

kingand theyll later whisper into the kings ear. 7. Drink Water This is work, its not a party. 8. Dont Try to Speak to Everyone When Barry Sanders scored a touchdown, he would casually toss the football back to the ref, shrugging, and living by the credo Act like youve been there before. Just chill out. Dont try to meet every celebrity and shake every hand. If you are conducting and managing your personal brand well, part of your brand will be to spend more time in this mildly toxic environment. Youll be at these events again in the future, so let things happen more organically. 9. Its Not About Being a Closer Lower your expectations about imagining that you may magically seal any deals. These events arent the right forum for giving someone the hard sell, for overt pitching, or to become someones best friend. 10. Know That Theyre Working Too Even famous people dont like getting dressed up and making a fuss about how they look. Even if they have a giant dick or won the Most Beautiful Woman in the World award, the chances are that they still had anxiety about getting dressed up and going to this event. Its work for them too. Take comfort in this.

*Be Your Own Publicist: The best publicist that you can hire is yourself. Publicists and PR agents are useful: theyre concierges who can make introduc tions to people that might be outside of your network. But they cant replace the need for you to be your own bullhorn. It has to start with you.

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