Charlie,I am writing to you to explain my annoyance towards you.Firstly; what is with your moustache? You may be bald but we can still tell you are going greyfrom that scraggy silver mess on your face. And seriously, the amount of stuff you get stuck inthere! I swear I once saw a mouse’s nest in there! Not to mention the bright yellow comb! A combwon’t work. A razor will.And the food! You got an entire plate of spaghetti stuck in there! You didn’t even realise and madeanother plate. Wait, I mean, you made Bella make you another plate.What is with you using her as a slave?! You are too much of a fat ass to make your own meals,so you use your own daughter as a slave?! Even when she is out, instead of using the smallamount of effort it would require to prepare your own meal, you order in pizza. That is not onlylazy, but selfish. Some poor coroner will have to examine your grease clogged arteries when youdie from a heart attack in the near future.Build a new bathroom. My love needs her privacy. Also, stop using her shampoo, I keep thinkingyou are her and following you to the fried chicken place out of town. Yeah, you thought that youcould keep that a secret, didn’t you? Well I know Charlie. I know.Your nosiness is very problematic for me. You check up on Bella at night and I am forced to fleethe room temporarily. I WILL SLEEP WITH HER/ STALK HER IF I WANT! By that I mean sleepbeside her, of course.You’re an idiot. Why don’t you turn off ESPN and onto CNN or The Discovery Channel once in awhile?You are fat. Do some exercise. It won’t kill you, it only feels that way when you are chasing downa criminal. By criminal I mean elderly lady who hasn’t paid her parking ticket.What is your occupation? Police Officer my ass! All you do is eat doughnuts. And a few childrenby the look of it. Bella always wanted a brother or a sister. Why did you have to eat them? Whydid you eat your children, you bastard?Do you have any friends? Any friends at all, and no the bird that sits outside your window doesnot count. Your only one seems to be Benefit Thief Billy. He’s not paralysed you idiot. HEDRIVES! You inspected that one very well. What’s a key skill to being a police officer again? Ohyeah, observation.And why am I not surprised that your favourite sport, fishing, is the only one where you sit on your ass doing nothing (doesn’t that feel like work all over again?) The only reason you started fishingwas because it was a sport you and Billy could both do, you couldn’t choose basketball or anything that involves the slightest flex of your muscles? And Billy had to keep up his image of being a paraplegic, just for you. YOU STARTED THIS LIE!Stop trying to tear Bella and myself apart. We are meant to be together, just like you andloneliness.You’re balding. Grow some hair, or buy a wig.You’re a hillbilly. Put the damn shotgun away. And no, don’t try to shoot me. It won’t work. Thatwould only take an idiot. Oh, wait, that’s you. And don’t pretend you don’t think about it, I knowyou do, every single time I touch Bella.