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SusanSusan was definitely a handful. I don’t know if I can say she was born that way or sheJust developed into that kind of person. It’s not so much that she intentionally tried to fuck upeverything she touched it just came out that way. When she was a young girl she realized that being the only female in a family dominated by males gave her a crutch to lean on when therewas a situation that called for it. She would constantly cry to her mother that it wasn’t her fault,that she couldn’t understand why no one believed her. If she had the wisdom to look in themirror than maybe she would have seen that it was her, not them that was causing a problem.Her mother was her biggest supporter but also her biggest problem if any one would havehad the nerve to confront the situation. She always defended her daughter even when to everyonein attendance Susan was dead wrong. Whether it was smoking pot, cigarettes, drinking too muchor taking some other illegal substance her mother always ran to her defense. It got to the pointwhere her father and brothers just shut them both off and let her mother deal with any crisis thatshe caused. Why waste the time or breath.Her father, God rest his soul, was a meek though good man who weighed less than hiswife (he was a chubby chaser). Although he would yell and threaten he never carried through.Yeah he corrected Susan physically when she was younger but how do you spank a forty fiveyear old woman. She was now that age but had never matured to more than a fifth grader. Shewould cry and whine to get her way and was relentless in an argument never giving up no matter if she was proven wrong beyond a reasonable doubt. The constant stream of dialogue would have bored Carl Sagan let alone her three brothers, Michael, Vin and Paulie, the baby of the bunch.They got older and just tuned her out with their own families and worries to concern themselveswith they didn’t have time to deal with her and her bullshit.
 
 Not that it stopped her though. If nothing else she was relentless and now with thecorresponding wives to her brothers to gab to it was almost never ending. The wives were allnice but the tolerance they showed was more than most humans could bear. She would call upout of the blue and start to ramble about everything from her mother’s health and care to her recent boyfriend’s latest transgression. The stories although incredible were endless. Boyfriendsleaving her somewhere and just driving away so she would call a family member to pick her up.Boyfriends coming to her parents house to bang on the door because she had their drugs anddecided that they shouldn’t take them anymore so she would steal them. Boyfriends coming tosomehow profess their love to her which her brothers and secretly even her father couldn’tunderstand. Boyfriends coming at three o’clock in the morning and banging on the door becausethey were horny which her brothers couldn’t understand.Little did she know her life was about to radically change. The profound way it wouldhappen was bound to make another part of her scattered brain break free. If she was tested byMENSA she would probably be accepted with open arms until she started to speak to the other members. In reality she was that smart but her common sense had evacuated when she was achild and never returned. Her common sense ran the other way when the little devil that sits onall of our shoulders tapped it and scared the crap out of it. At the same time she could type aletter, carry on a conversation, paint her nails, smoke a cigarette and not get nail polish anywhereit wasn’t supposed to be nor loose her place in the conversation or with her typing. But chewinggum and walking was a different matter altogether.I just felt in all fairness that by right I had to explain Susan to any and all people whodecide to push on and read this story; it wouldn’t have been fair to let you go in blind. It was notwritten to cause psychological damage. It was written just as a way of a vent for those of us whohad to deal with her on a daily basis. May God Bless Our Souls……….
 
JulianThe whole key to not being caught is to blatantly look obvious. If you seem like you aretrying to hide something more than likely someone will notice you. If you can remember back towhen you were young, or if you have kids, when do you catch them or better yet when do theyget caught? Isn’t it always when they try to hide something? The proverbial hand in the cookie jar or trying to sneak an extra snack or drink into bed. As they get older it doesn’t change. Even
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The Trashy Novel Corp

Hi Mike, The writing seems to get better as you work on it. Keep writing. The second page. First paragraph. I get that when the brothers grow up and get married their wives gossip about the sister. But in the end of the paragraph the brothers seem like young boys who don't understand being horny. I really like the story. Keep working on it. There is a lot that goes through a persons head when they are thinking suicide. I can see similarities in the stories you've written. And you've ironed out what you've wanted to say. Like, to hide in plain sight you should be obvious. In the Wallstreet story, you use it when the gay co-worker spots him. In this story you use it when you're explaining Julian. I, too, use the same kinda themes in my stories and they get better and better as I go over them time and time again. Keep up the good work. I don't like to read Louis Lamore, but think about it. You have decent sex scenes and if you took out the murder stuff, you could write some good trashy novellas. Women in their 40-70s LOVE THIS STUFF! Learn the formula and you will be a winner.

reply07 / 18 / 2009
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