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BACK IN TIMEBella’s p.o.vI lay there on the ground with Edward by my sideoh so much I loved him I shooting star went bymake a wish love Edward murmured to me Imade a wish my wish was to be with Edwardwhen he was human then suddenly everythingwent black I opened my eyes the place where Iwas very old fashioned then I heard a boys voicesay mother father will be back in 5 minutes itwas familiar and the boy turned around I gaspedhe had emerald eyes bronze hair Edward Iwhispered funny he didn’t hear me I touched himmy hand went through him then it hit me I was aghost an elderly looking woman came to Edwardand said son get ready and I wish you best .getready for what I thought a man walked throughthe door I supposed that would Edwards dadcome on son time to go yes dad was Edwardsreply with a eager expression n his face hisemerald eyes filled with life suddenly Edwardsfather coughed oh the Spanish flu is risingEdwards mom said aloud in a motherly way I willbe fine Elizabeth so that was his mother’s nameas Edward and his dad left Elizabeth called I loveyou two take care of yourselves we will take care
 
was their reply after they were gone I sat down ina corner I thought about what had just happenedme stuck in time don’t know how to get outdyeing here Charlie will be so worried whenwould find out I am missing Edward goingthrough all the pain thinking of Edward like thatmade me cry the more I was glad Edwards momcould not hear me it had been hours I sat therecrying and thinking as the terrible thoughts filledmy head after half an hour Edward and his dadcame Edward looked fine but his dad looked overexhausted and tired lay down father you needsome rest his father did what his son told bothEdward and Beth [Elizabeth ] had worriedexpressions on their faces about the head of thefamily after Edward and his mum talked theywent upstairs I caught some f the conversationwords like what will happen if he gets the fluwhat will happen will be the best of it I followedEdward to his room which had a bed and theother side was covered with journals and booksof all sorts Edward picked up a book it lookedShakespeare after a while I got up left for a lookoutside everything looked beautiful to me thelovely dresses I wanted to buy one but I didn’thave any money nor I was visible to anybody Ispent my time sitting by the seashore after whileI thought it was time to get back to Edwardhouse they whole time was walking I wonderedcould ghosts sleep probably not I thought when I
 
reached the house it was evening Edward was inhis room his mom sewing and his dad fastasleep after an hour’s time Edwards mom calledhim down for dinner for dinner they had soup ,chicken and pudding I tried eating before in theafternoon and tried again now I put a piece of fruit in my mouth it just dropped down with athud which made Edward and his mom jump They ate there dinner in silence I thought theywere trying not to disturb the head of the familywho was sleeping on the couch when dinner wasdone they got up and sat by the fire Edward satby the fire reading a story and his mom mendinga sweater an hour went by eventually they gottired and went to bed saying their goodbyes I satthere by the fire I sat there for about 3 to 4 hoursafter a while I went up to Edwards room he wasfast asleep never in my life had a seen Edward socalm and in peace when it struck dawn Edwardwas still in bed but his dad wide awake he wasworse than before so Beth decided to take him tothe hospital I followed .they had left Edward anote telling him why they left . they went to seeCarlisle or as they call him Dr. Cullen he gave hima check up and the results were Edwards dad didhave the flu the admitted him in the hospitalBeth was worried she got home before Edwardwoke up boy I thought how much does he sleepEdward woke up around ten o clock he went tothe bathroom changed his clothes and headed
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jjay223

wirte more its good

reply09 / 14 / 2009
rachel7195

the story seems good but it is hard to follow with all of the sentences running together, try spacing them out like in a real book, it will make it easier to read, also if you had made Bella human, like if they would have met back before he was turned into a vampire, just a suggestion..

reply09 / 12 / 2009
1997feb123

well i like the story of bella going back but i think you could have made her a character human edward loved or had a crush on and plus its confusing at the end

reply08 / 18 / 2009
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