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Collection of scientific jokes

Collection of scientific jokes

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Published by Victor Christianto
This is a short collection of economic and scientific jokes from various sources. Hope you will like this file.
This is a short collection of economic and scientific jokes from various sources. Hope you will like this file.

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Published by: Victor Christianto on Oct 14, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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10/14/2013

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1Collection of scientific jokes and jokes on scientistsa.
 
Economicsb.
 
Mathematicsc.
 
Statisticsd.
 
PhysicsPreface:Unlike some theorems in awful thick books, the purpose of this collection of jokes on scientists andother professions alike is quite practical, that is these jokes serve as hint or opening in certainconferences or like a quote which help people to focus on certain topics. While that purpose appear tobe quite off the wall, there is a quote saying that reading a witty joke can be as refreshing as reading amediocre scientific paper. In certain jokes, you can even grasp with clarity and in concise way certainideas from specific subjects in science.While none of those jokes are very new, we categorize them into four different subject of interest inorder you can quickly search for quote.All in all, we hope that this collection is not only refreshing but also helpful in your daily tasks.21 September 2010Best wishesVC
 
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a.
 
Economics
TEN THINGS TO DO WITH A GRADUATE ECONOMICS TEXTBOOK1. Press pretty flowers.2. Press pretty insects.3. Use it as paper weight on your already overcluttered desk.4. Leave out in obvious places to impress uninformed undergraduates.5. Mail to the White House as an intimidation tactic.6. Give it a walk-on part in a boring European existentialist play.7. Just throw the damn thing away.8. Leave out for the rain and other forces of nature to reckon with.9. Read it (ha ha ha), and weep.10. Get a refund from bookstore so you can buy weekend's beer supply.Source: [2]-------An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. Aneconometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about theeconomy.Source: [1]-------Economics has gotten so rigorous we've all got rigor mortis.Presumably said by Kenneth BouldingA possible correction by Mike: Kenneth Boulding said, "Mathematics brought rigor toEconomics. Unfortunately, it also brought mortis."Source: [1]-------Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enoughto be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.Source: [1]
 
3
-------In Canada there is a small radical group that refuses to speak english and no one canunderstand them. They are called separatists. In this country (USA) we have the same kindof group. They are called economists.Nation's BusinessSource: [2]-------A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:- The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside thedarkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.- The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside thedarkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model todescribe all his movements with extreme accuracy.- The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking forthe black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched bythe neck."Source: [2]-------Light bulb jokes are always in...Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.Source: [2]-------Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?A1: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.A2: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!

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