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Unbiased News: The News You Want
By John F. McGowan
Version: 1.0Start Date: July 22, 2009Last Updated: July 22, 2009Home URL: http://www.jmcgowan.com/unbiased.pdf 
 Announcing the ultimate Internet news aggregator Unbiased News:The News You Want 
The Problem
Are you a conservative outraged by Bill O’Reilly’s endorsement of global warming?Are you a liberal shocked by the New York Times blatantly pro-warcoverage of the illegal US occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan?Are you a scientific rationalist appalled by the media’s sensationalistcoverage of UFO’s and other pseudo-scientific nonsense?Are you a ufologist frustrated by the corporate mainstream media’sperpetual ridicule of UFO’s and uncritical repetition of whatevernonsense the CIA and Air Force say?Are you an investment banker tired of being vilified and demonized by just about everyone just because that communist
civil servant 
AlanGreenspan forced Wall Street to lose $8 Trillion speculating in housing?
The Cause
The simple fact is everyone else suffers from bias. Only
you
haveachieved the state of pure objective rational thought, seeing the worldas it truly is. Yes, the Internet now enables you to get your news fromenlightened web sites that are
almost 
unbiased and usually speaktruth to power. But even your fellow conservatives, liberals,libertarians, socialists, and so forth will unfortunately report biasedand inaccurate news that you don’t want to hear.John F. McGowanPage
1
July 22, 2009
 
Unbiased News: The News You Want 
The Solution
Unbiased News: The News You Want 
is a new web site and RSS feedthat gives you only the unbiased news that you need. Simply sign upfor our free service and take our quick
What Unbiased Means To Me
survey. Using state of the art data mining, search, and semanticprocessing algorithms,
Unbiased News
will ensure that you onlyreceive the unbiased news that you want to hear.
Wait! There is More!
As a member of the
Unbiased News
community, you can choose our
I  Am Special 
option to receive news and opinion articles that confirmyour membership in a special unique group unjustly persecuted for itsspecial unique virtues. For conservatives, our state of the artalgorithms can select and provide a never ending stream of articles onthe relentless persecution of white male conservatives by the NAACP,ACLU, and other liberal hate groups. For liberals, our unbiased newsselection engine will provide retrospective articles on the McCarthy erawhich will describe the victims of McCarthyism as apolitical averageAmericans, liberals, socialists, or communists depending on how farleft you are. For Jews, the engine will select retrospective articles onthe Holocaust, tsarist pogroms, and the Jewish War. For Palestinians,the engine can select heartbreaking stories of Israeli atrocities in theoccupied West Bank. For scientific rationalists, the engine will selectstories about the trial of Galileo and the Scopes trial. Whoever you are
Unbiased News
will confirm how special you are, how much your grouphas suffered, and how much the ungrateful world owes you.
Wait! There is Still More!
As a member of the
Unbiased News
community you can also select our
Total Ridicule
option to receive articles ridiculing anyone who disagreeswith you. Our news selection engine will select articles that thoroughlyridicule and debunk the actual position of the other guys, not theirphony
coded 
message but what you (and we) know they really mean,the utterly absurd position they really have that no sane rationalperson would hold for five seconds. Yes,
Unbiased News
selects theunbiased objective articles and op-eds that cut through the code wordsand ridicule the real position.John F. McGowanPage 2July 22, 2009
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