It was the beginning of a new day, or so at least I thought. I was convinced that everything this
year would have been different from last year. Sure there were some differences but none of them were
really as noticeable as maybe they should\u2019ve been. It always appeared to me that everything that pretty
much seemed the same because most of the time the changes were always over looked. What really
stayed the same from the year before was all the negativity that everyone holds by their sides like they
have need for some sort of protection against the world. I never understood the reasoning to be as
negative as some people are to just everyone. It was always a wonder to me. Sometimes I wish I could
find out why people do what they do to protect themselves from an unarmed opponent. I first
experienced what it felt like to have rocks thrown through my glass windows when I was in my Second
Period class.

Second Period for me was my A.P. Language class, where most of the kids in the class knew each other
from last year\u2019s Honors class. I didn\u2019t have the same relationship with anyone in that class that they all
had previous to this class. Therefore I felt like an outcast to the population. I always felt that way
whenever I talked to the Honors teacher. I always felt like I was a lower branch on the tree, a lower
class of human. It was pathetic, because I had no understanding to why I reacted like that. It is a sad
thing when a person doesn\u2019t understand why they do the things they do, or the reasoning behind it
either. I remember that it was when I was told to \u201cshut the hell up\u201d by another student for no absolute
reason. I understand telling someone that they should \u201cshut up\u201d but to tell someone to \u201cshut the hell
up\u201d is more of a personal level with the person that is of aggravation. It was said on such a personal
level. It wasn\u2019t because I was wrong, because if that were the issue, someone could or would\u2019ve
corrected me in a more orderly fashion. I remember specifically that it was simply because she thought
of me as \u201cannoying\u201d and that I \u201casked stupid questions\u201d. From what I was taught by the teachers I have
always had known that there wasn\u2019t such a thing as a \u201cstupid question\u201d.

I couldn\u2019t stand the feeling of being revolted against when I had tried to make amends with this person. It was Advisory class and I had offered her a bit of a Herseys Chocolate Bar to calm the fire, but, it was thrown back into my face. It wasn\u2019t just your average \u201cno\u201d; it was a verbal slap in the face. At that point, my most common friend that appeared on the perfect cues, Mr. Depression came in on a red carpet just to help me. In a failed attempt at making friends, I slowed my walk back to my desk, holding back all the mean things I could\u2019ve said in the heat of my furry.

I still feel alone in a lot of the world. It\u2019s almost like everything I did always had a response so
Pavlovian to the next. I always tried to feel a different feeling for every person that said I was a \u201cgood
person\u201d. I appreciated it and I believed them, but I didn\u2019t know how to react to it. I\u2019d rather be the one
giving the complements to the people giving them to me.

Like I said before, I feel like everything is pretty much the same. It\u2019s all so constant. There\u2019s never
anything new to my day\u2019s schedule. I never seem to have anything new precedent or preliminary to my
days. They are seriously and sincerely, the same thing every day. School has become farthest from
enjoyable. I\u2019m dying to meet new people and explore new things outside of this little town. It almost
feels like this town is so invisible to the rest of the world like the lonely tree in a big city sidewalk,
except my town doesn\u2019t have any large roots. I miss everyone, I feel like it\u2019s been forever since I\u2019ve
talked to my friend Nicole, even though it was just the other weekend she came over. I will never get
tired of her, between just all the lonely silences and the reckless ambience of just the sound of the car or
the music in the car, I love it all. She came over and we played my Playstation 3. We played a video
game called LittleBig Planet, which to me, is one of the most aspiring games a person will see grow on
the market shelves. But, the video game had not sufficed enough, as our eyes met each other\u2019s lips and
the feelings that I\u2019ve been holding back finally jet through my blockade of concealment. It was then,
that moment, that time froze, and everything stopped except for the two of us. We kissed. I kissed her
and she kissed me back. It all fell into place. I missed the taste of her lips. I never got over that taste
from Homecoming, way back when in October.

After that, never again were any of the times with any other girl comparable. I tried to hide it from
the rest of the crowd, but the feelings I felt inside were true. I supported her as a friend and tried to give
the best advice someone in high school could give. I was there for her; I was also there for my friend
Thomas, who really liked her. I wouldn\u2019t ever take her away from him. I never planned that. I found
out that Thomas and I were for the same purpose with Nicole, except that I decided to drop out of the
race early on. From there, I watched from the benches and sat back in the beautiful park to watch the
tides of the beach become vigorous and high. It was indeed a rough road for me, but I came to help
Thomas, and I also wanted to make peace with Chris. The triangle between all three of us with Nicole
in the middle became a simple Line with two points. I was off of that grid. It was between Chris,
Thomas & Nicole. I remember the time when I first told her \u201cI love you\u201d. I felt so special and there was
joy. It was Summer time, close to my birthday when Nicole and I first started talking. It was originally
over Myspace. It started with the message I received in my mailbox:

After that message and my reply it snowballed. I couldn\u2019t stop, I wouldn\u2019t stop, and I shouldn\u2019t
have ever stopped. A few messages later, we exchanged numbers, and began sending text messages
almost instantly. The one thing that really stabbed me, that really shot my dreams was that this last year
was her last year at high school and now she was on to college all the way up in Lacey. That week that
we talked was her last week and she had invited me to a going away party that her friends were
throwing for her. Unfortunately, with the restrictions that my parents had provided for me, there was no
way I was able to go. There\u2019s something really demeaning to that. When I wanted to go to that party to
say my goodbye and wish her off, but I couldn\u2019t go. I think it was almost heartbreaking to me,
considering that my glass heart has been dropped plenty of times for it to be an unusual emotion to me.
Instead, a few days before the party, she came to see me and we went out for ice cream at Basken
Robbins. I remember I couldn\u2019t finish it all, I still laugh at that when I think about it like this. I had
gotten a World Class Chocolate ice cream scoop put in a Waffle Cone, which is the largest cone they
have, but also the most stable one they have. Sugar Cones never did the job. They always made me feel
on edge like the ice cream was going to fall off. I sat down with her at a table. It had been so long since
I had seen her. She had a whole new look and the outfit she wore shown her pretty luminous green
eyes.

I almost remember I was poised in the state of complete incredulous; I couldn\u2019t come to see that it was
her. She looked so much different and grown up. I looked so much the same and completely
unchanged. I felt out of place sitting there with a person who is so beautiful and she sitting with a
person that looked so young and scruffy. I was set to utter broken words of \u201cHow have you been?\u201d
These words come to me now in this time as sadness. I feel like breaking down sometimes thinking
about how everything was and looking at how things are now. I believed that she loved me, despite the
times that it seemed that she didn\u2019t, I believe she did. Sometimes I look back on it all and say, \u201cif it
weren\u2019t for her, I wouldn\u2019t know some of the people I met afterwards. The people that changed my
views of love, between good and bad.\u201d I wish that the love lasted a little longer and became more of a
spectacular feeling. Sadly enough, everything good always has an end, but the ending always seems to
have a beginning to something either better or completely different. There\u2019s nothing I could ever take
back, as much as I\u2019ve wanted to during the times of depression and hatred, as I wanted to erase the
memories of these events, I couldn\u2019t. I felt so depressed thinking that. I felt like I should cry of despair.
There was only few times I actually made myself cry and these times were that of looking at myself
and realizing how shitty of decisions I have made, or possibly the feeling like I\u2019ve hurt someone else,
of course, depending on the person it was and my relationship with them, was what determined my care
for what I said. I began to really start crying as I thought about these times. How so much has had a
change, and how I remember the way people used to be during Summer time. I\u2019ve grown nostalgic. I
feel as if that time in its own self has become my biggest enemy. Like, Time as a person, if it were a
person, has taken all of my friends, dear loved ones and crumbled them away like clay under the
scalpel\u2019s edge. I want it all back. I want it all back so badly. They say that Time is like an hourglass full
of sand, what happens when that hourglass cracks open and all sand comes flowing and gushing out in
clumps? I am riddled to Time\u2019s very existence, how one time period is parallel to the other, that all of
them are in lines that will never meet. I always wondered about these things and never found the
answers to them. It\u2019s become a habit of mine to have wonders that I don\u2019t try hard enough to find
answers to.

It was along the first month of the school, September, good old September stepping in for August\u2019s
place. The first day of school became \u201cThe Comeback\u201d. The name came to me instantly as I remember
the first feeling I had walking through those hallways once again. Another year coming by and flowing
by. And as every single look had taken place, every memory I had came to me-just snuck their way in
through the backdoor of my mind. I remember all the places where we used to sit as all friends, where I
used to sit. Sadly enough, now that I look at those spots, they are all empty. None of them gave even
the evidence of that people, my friends, had been there. The air outside was all so foggy, yes the AIR
was foggy. It felt like all the air I breathed had knots and ties in them. I don\u2019t think I can ever simply
say the air around Bethel has ever been the best air. Between the cigarettes, the shit stench in all of the
bathrooms, the smell of rotting eggs or worse in the pottery room, I remember it all and there was never
a good memory to any. Through all of my nostalgia, I was suddenly disrupted by the intercom. \u201cThere
is to be an assembly out by the bleachers by the football field, go now.\u201d The only thing that stuck in my
head at that time was the feeling of \u201canother day, another year.\u201d

I remember walking up those steps into the bleachers of the football field and the whole time thinking
about how excited I was to see everyone. I felt like I had been gone for years and finally come back
after a long, drawn out adventure that lasted years and years at a time, but in reality, it had only been
three months. Strange isn't it? How time has that effect on us. As I kept walking up those stairs
desperately trying to find a decent seat, there was a flashback. I blurred for a split second, then, faded