time to let his mind wander away down that road. He was here. It was now. This was it. Hewas here strictly to do business. So he had to calm down his emotions, and calm Matthew’smood-swinging giddiness down too.‘Listen,’ said Hoop in a low, private, but also placating tone, trying to muster somefalse but appropriate sincerity. He made himself sound as if he believed he had something toatone for (which, of course, he did, but not to Matthew). ‘Don’t say anything about the book,’he continued. ‘Gerry’s not officially put it on the table before Jack yet, as far as I know––’‘Ohh,’ said Matthew with a comic knowingness, the exact same tone he often shrillyadopted at moments like these, and which reminded Hoop so much of that awful actor inthose dreadful
Carry On
films – Kenneth somebody. The familiar annoyance at theresemblance burst the bubble of his intended ploy of confidence. A double annoyance wasthat, not remembering the
Carry On
actor’s surname, he’d be trying to thinking of it all night.‘So it
is
“Jack,”’ Matthew prattled on. ‘You never told me you’d met him. So come on!Where
did
you meet him?’‘I
haven’t
met him, you––’ Hoop spluttered. He consciously checked the barrack-hutvulgarity that’d nearly slipped out, attempting to calm himself down – once again. Muchsooner than he thought would’ve been possible. Matthew should win a medal for windinghim up. Matthew could wind people up for England.Matthew watched Hoop’s fists unclench as he visibly controlled his anger.‘Temper temper,’ he trilled like an operatic lovebird, arching his eyebrows, his voicehigh up in the camp registers, the fat lady singing. ‘Temper temper,’ he said again, but leaningin close to Hoop’s face this time, so far in that Hoop unconsciously leaned back, andconsciously hoped no one around was watching this, because then it might not be real. Nothere, not now. Matthew’s expression – not just his expression but his entire demeanour, hiswhole bulk – had suddenly morphed from sweet, smiling soprano to evil and overdevelopedschoolyard bully, his voice now growling and Rottweiler-deep. It was all part of Matthew’sact, Hoop recognised – the fandango he danced with himself to obscure the person he washiding inside. But no matter how much, or by whatever manner, Hoop chose to rationalise it,it still scared the hell out of him.
3
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