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Chapter 3:Financial Factors
“… odds are high that wives will outlive their husbands. In fact, 80% of women live longer than their spouses, and often bymany years, on average 14, according to the U.S. Census Bureau…. Given those facts, it would seem that husbands would do moreto make sure that their wife's transition to widowhood doesn't re- sult in poverty. But that's not the case …”—Robert Powell 
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While my dad had life insurance, he was what any life insur-ance agent would call “underinsured”—and that was not simply tosell more life insurance—he had less than what was needed to sus-tain his family in case he died prematurely.The Social Security Administration used to give “survivor’s benefits” to widows and their children through college. However,we found out too late that these benefits were severely changed.Widows and widowers do not get “survivor’s benefits” until theyreach sixty years of age. This was a problem for a forty-nine-year-old widow like my mom. If they have children, they only get bene-fits until those children graduate high school, not college.
 
Walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death
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My mom’s household was fashioned with income
and expenses
 to match a civil engineer’s salary. While that income was high, aswith most Americans, their lifestyle matched. They lived pay-check-to-paycheck. They did nothing incredibly extravagant—amiddle-class home with mortgage, two average cars with pay-ments, normal bills, paying for two kid’s clothes, school suppliesand a few extra-curricular activities. While mom did not work after having children, she “worked” every day as a homemaker andhomeschooler. My parent’s “extra” expenses ensured a better edu-cation, both academically and spiritually, for their children.But things had not been “normal” for some time. With a termi-nal illness came expensive medical bills, oftentimes not fully cov-ered by insurance. A terminal illness of the primary wage-earner meant he was not able to work for some time before his death. That brought the ramifications of decreased income. Long-term disabil-ity gave him a little income but it was nowhere near his prior in-come. He had to pay costly COBRA insurance premiums andincreased medical expenses on a severely curtailed income untilhis death. This depleted all of their savings by the time he breathedhis last.With a little life insurance, a tiny amount from social securityand no job prospects to satisfy her current expenses, my mom wascaught in a world where she could not win. She sold things—her home, her cars, her possessions she did not need and unloaded cer-tain obligations. Even with that, she could not afford rent with thelimited income that she now earned, having never graduated col-lege. Further, selling everything immediately after a death would be difficult for anyone to do who had lived in the same home for twenty years and who loved to hold onto books and items of sen-timental value. Compound that with the fact that she was livingthrough the most tragic event of her life and it created an equationfor paralysis at best and complete emotional breakdown at worst. — While some people who go through grief and bereavement donot have financial factors to consider, many people do. For exam-
 
Kimberly Rose Carolan
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 ple, I did not need financial help with my father’s death since I hada husband and my own family. But my younger brother still livedat home and my mom needed significant financial assistance sincethey lost their primary wage earner. Our job as Christians is to findout who needs help and to offer that help. This does not necessarilymean giving money although it could. But perhaps we provide ser-vices to a bereaved family that would otherwise be expensive tothe family. It does require a generous attitude, a spirit of giving andservice. Let us look further into the financial ramifications for the bereaved such as looking at the effects of decreased finances inaddition to all of their other problems.
 No man’s land 
Following a death of a parent if you are under 18 years old or aspouse, income may become depleted. These two types of loss can be most trying financially because of decreased income and in-creased expenses. Speaking in terms of widows, it is interesting tonote this definition of widow from the Hebrew language in the OldTestament, according to
Vine’s Dictionary of Old and New Testa-ment Words
: “The word represents a woman who, because of thedeath of her husband, has lost her social and economic position.”
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 Vine goes on to explain that in that culture, the condition wasworse if the widow had no children. Then they were resigned to go back their father’s home. This was the situation in Genesis whenTamar went back to Judah’s home after her husband died. So, thewoman suffers from the emotional turmoil associated with her husband’s death and she also lacks the same social and economic position.Couple this loss of position with misinformation about the de-ceased’s financial position, their understanding of federal govern-ment assistance and improper financial planning. Social Securitycannot be relied upon for retirement or for death benefits. My dadwas under the impression that Social Security would give a “survi-vor’s benefit” to his widow once he died. They did in times past, but as of this writing, they only give that benefit when the widowturns sixty—my mom was forty-nine. He thought my brother Kevin would get something through college. Again, that was the
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