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Crisis Manual for School Counselors and School Psychologists

Bobby Webb, Ed. D., Superintendent June 2004

Crisis Manual for School Counselors and School Psychologists

COMMITTEE Terri Dean Janet Panter Elaine Travis Joli Williams


Dee Dee Lunsford, Supervisor

Shelby County Schools Dr. Bobby Webb, Superintendent June 2004


Shelby County Schools offers educational and employment opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, religion, sex, or disability

Board of Education
David A. Pickler, Chairman Wyatt Bunker Ernest Chism Joseph Clayton Anne Edmiston Virginia Harvell Ron Lollar Bobby G. Webb, Ed. D., Superintendent Penny Eilert, Assistant Superintendent of Instruction Jack Coleman, Director of Secondary Education Nettie Tipton, Director of Elementary Education Jo Bellanti, Director of Special Education

160 South Hollywood St. Memphis, TN 38112 (901) 321-2500 www.scs.k12.tn.us June 2004

Shelby County Schools offers educational and employment opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, religion, sex, or disability.

Table of Contents
Table of Contents ...............................................................................................7 Crisis Procedures and the District Crisis Team ...................................................11 General Crisis Procedures ...............................................................................13 Introduction.......................................................................................................13 Terminology......................................................................................................13 Overview of Crisis Procedures .........................................................................14 Crisis Intervention Suggestions For District Team Coordinator .......................15 Initial Conference with Administrator................................................................15 Issues Considered by Administrator and DCT Coordinator .............................15 The Staff Meeting: DCT Coordinators Role.....................................................22 Perks For Faculty and Staff..............................................................................23 Crisis Intervention Suggestions for District Crisis Team By DCT Coordinator .24 Role with District Crisis Team (DCT)................................................................24 DCT Member Responsibilities..........................................................................25 DCT Coordinators Debriefing Meeting ............................................................27 Media Guidelines..............................................................................................29 Statement to Media ..........................................................................................30 What Do You Say? What Do You Do? Cheat Sheets for DCT Members ............31 What Do You Say & What Do You Do: A Cheat Sheet for DCT Members ....33 What Do You Say.............................................................................................33 Share Some First Word Activities.....................................................................34 What Do You Do ..............................................................................................35 Suggestions for Helping the Classmate upon Returning to School...............35 What to Say: Using the NOVA Model...............................................................36 Introducing the Concept of Attending a Visitation or a Funeral ........................37 Phrases to Avoid ..............................................................................................37 Follow Up Procedures..........................................................................................39 Follow-Up To Crisis Situations .........................................................................41 Personal Effects ...............................................................................................41 Anniversaries Of Tragedy ................................................................................42 Memorials and Post Crisis Strategies ..............................................................43 In The Case Of A Suicide.................................................................................43 Suggestions for Appropriate Memorials ...........................................................43 Reactions to Grief and Loss.................................................................................45 Reactions to Grief and Loss .............................................................................47 Stages of Grief: The Normal Cycle for All Losses ............................................47 Phases of the Grieving Process .......................................................................48 Age-Specific Reactions To Loss ......................................................................49 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder .......................................................................56 PTSD Symptoms..............................................................................................56 Phases Of Reactions To Trauma-Inducing Events ..........................................57 Post- Trauma Debriefing ..................................................................................57
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Coping with Grief and Loss..................................................................................59 Take Care of Yourself: Helpful Suggestions for Faculty and Staff ...................61 Take Care of Yourself: Helpful Suggestions for Students ................................63 Helping a Grieving Friend.................................................................................65 Attending a Visitation or a Funeral ...................................................................67 What To Say To Show That You Care .............................................................69 Helping a Grieving Friend:................................................................................71 Returning to School..........................................................................................71 Things Not to Do ..............................................................................................71 After Time Has Passed ....................................................................................71 Sample Letters and Memos .................................................................................73 Death of a Staff Member ..................................................................................75 Death of a Student (Suicide) ............................................................................76 Death of a Student (Accident) ..........................................................................77 Death of a Student (Illness)..............................................................................78 Parent Letter (Crisis) ........................................................................................79 Parent Letter (Crisis) ........................................................................................80 Memo for Notification of Student Death ...........................................................81 Notification of Student Death............................................................................82 Notification of Student Death............................................................................83 Suicide .................................................................................................................85 Suicide..............................................................................................................87 Factors to Consider When Assessing The Impact Of A Suicide On Students .88 Warning Signs Of Suicide ................................................................................89 Suicidal Threats................................................................................................90 Suicide Threats: Dos and Donts ....................................................................92 School Counselors Role in the Case of a Suicidal Threat ...............................94 Suicide Attempts ..............................................................................................95 Suicide Clusters ...............................................................................................96 School Strategies for Preventing "Contagion" After a Suicide..........................96 Media Coverage and Suicide "Contagion" .......................................................96 School Reentry for a Student Who Has Attempted Suicide .............................97 Suicide: A Guide to Prevention ........................................................................98 Threat Assessment............................................................................................101 Threat Assessment ........................................................................................103 Types of Threats ............................................................................................103 Factors in Threat Assessment .......................................................................103 Early Warning Signs.......................................................................................104 Levels of Risk .................................................................................................108 Activities for Counselors & Classroom Teachers...............................................112 Support Group Sessions ................................................................................114 Lesson Plan: Support Group ..........................................................................115 Classroom Discussion Following the Death of a Student or Staff Member ....117 Student or Classroom Activities .....................................................................118
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Elementary School .........................................................................................118 Middle School.................................................................................................118 High School ....................................................................................................118 Quotes............................................................................................................119 Lesson Plan: Classroom Feelings Collage.....................................................124 Lesson Plan: Write a letter to Emergency Personnel in the Community........126 Lesson Plan: Personal Coat of Arms .............................................................128 Lesson Plan: How Do You Feel? ...................................................................132 Lesson Plan: Poetic Expressions ...................................................................136 Lesson Plan: Ten Good Things......................................................................137 Parents ..............................................................................................................138 What Parents Can Do ....................................................................................140 Possible Reactions.........................................................................................140 How Parents Can Help Children Cope...........................................................142 Forms.................................................................................................................146 DCT Coordinator Checklist.............................................................................148 DCT Members Checklist ................................................................................168 School Office Staff Checklist ..........................................................................172 Counseling Area Checklist .............................................................................174 District Crisis Team Assignments ..................................................................176 Client Contact Log..........................................................................................178 Close Friends of Deceased Student and Other Students At-Risk for Emotional Stress .............................................................................................................180 Counseling Area Sign-In Sheet ......................................................................182 DCT Members Sign-In Log............................................................................184 Classroom Teacher Crisis Checklist ..............................................................186 Follow-Up To Crisis Checklist ........................................................................188 DCT/SERT/CORT Post-Incident Debriefing ...................................................190 Suicidal Threat Checklist................................................................................192 Suicide Screening Form .................................................................................194 Off-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist ..........................................................196 On-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist ..........................................................198 Reentry Checklist for Student who Attempted Suicide ...................................200 Threat Assessment Checklist.........................................................................202 Administrative Checklist for Student Threats .................................................204 Counselor-Parent Conference........................................................................206 Counselor-Teacher Conference .....................................................................208 Counselor-Administrator Conference .............................................................210 Counselor Pass ..............................................................................................212 Release of Confidential Information ...............................................................214 Brochures .......................................................................................................218 Booklist for Students ......................................................................................230 Booklist/Resources for Adults ........................................................................233 SCS Medianet Resources ..............................................................................235
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Important Phone Numbers .............................................................................238

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Crisis Procedures and the District Crisis Team

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General Crisis Procedures


Introduction
The purpose of this manual is to outline the specific procedures for the District Crisis Team (DCT). This team is led by the District Crisis Team Coordinator/Supervisor of School Counselors and is typically composed of school counselors and school psychologists. Other professionals may be added to the group at the discretion of the Coordinator and school administration. This manual will provide team members with concise checklists and straightforward explanations that will allow them to quickly respond to a crisis situation in an effective and professional manner. District Crisis Team members will thus ensure they have followed proper procedures and have implemented best practices for helping schools during difficult times. This manual is not designed, though, to provide detailed instructions for all Shelby County Schools employees. Specific procedures for various crises and critical incidents are contained in the Crisis Management and Emergency Response in Shelby County Schools. That manual, which is currently being prepared for release to local schools, gives very specific and detailed information for responding to crises. It should be consulted by local school and central office response teams when they are presented with a crisis situation.

Terminology1.
A crisis is a sudden generally unanticipated event that profoundly and negatively affects a significant segment of the school population and often involves serious injury and death. A critical incident is a situation that involves imminent danger to life and limb, such as school violence with death or major injuries, natural disasters, and terrorist acts. This manual will not address these situations, but is aimed at crisis intervention. Crisis Response Team a highly effective organizational unit for dealing with a variety of crises. Shelby County will use three teams operating at two levels: individual school building (SERT), central office (CORT) and a district crisis team (DCT) made up of school counselors, school psychologists, and social workers. Through these teams the school system will be able to respond to a variety of incidents in various locations throughout the school system. There will also be a community level team composed of organizations that may deal directly with an incident or provide support to the school 81 Taken directly from Crisis Management and Emergency Response in Shelby County Schools (CMER/SCS).
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during and after a crisis. Central Office Response Team (CORT) this team provides leadership in times of a crisis or emergency; CORT members are a part of the SCS organizational chart and will direct personnel assigned to their division. School Emergency Response Team (SERT) this is a building level team led by the principal or designee for dealing with a variety of crises, such as student deaths or incidents of violence. The team is appointed by the principal and will fulfill the duties outlined in CMER/SCS. District Crisis Team (DCT) includes counselors, psychologists, and social workers; this team provides direct services to students and staff in the event of a crisis (e.g., student suicide). The composition of the team may vary, depending on the location and nature of the crisis. Assignments to the team will be the responsibility of the Team Coordinator. This manual is written specifically for the members of this team. Community Crisis Response Support Network this supplementary group involves community agencies and organizations providing an array of services and expertise. It may include professionals or organizations in the areas of mental health, public safety, medical/health care or social services. The CORT and SERT are responsible for coordinating with these agencies. Note: No service providers or other agencies should be brought to the schools unless invited by the central office or local school administrators.

Overview of Crisis Procedures


(Adapted from the Association of California School Administrators Procedures) Unanticipated events, such as suicides, school bus crashes, natural disasters, or multiple injuries or deaths, can quickly escalate into a school wide catastrophe if not dealt with immediately and effectively. Knowing what to do if such a crisis occurs will minimize the chaos, rumors, and the impact of the event on the other students. As a reminder, for the purposes of this guide, crisis is defined as: A sudden, generally unanticipated event that profoundly and negatively affects a significant segment of the school population and often involves serious injury or death. The following procedures are appropriate in the event of deaths or serious injuries to members of the school community. A DCT Coordinator Checklist, see p. 147-165.

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Crisis Intervention Suggestions For District Team Coordinator


Initial Conference with Administrator
Death of Student/Faculty/Staff (adjust as needed) (Although this is specific to a crisis due to death, it is also applicable to other crisis situationsaccidents on campus, bus accidents, etc.) In the event of a crisis in the school, please check the Shelby County Schools Emergency Response Manual, flip chart and the manual Crisis Management and Emergency Response in Shelby County Schools. The following are a list of suggestions for an administrator to consider in the event of a student death.

Issues Considered by Administrator and DCT Coordinator


1. In the event of a crisis, the administrator should contact one of the following: Superintendent (321-2521) Executive Director of Special Services (321-2550) Assistant Superintendent of Instruction (321-2527) Assistant Superintendent of Administration (321-2575) Supervisor of Counselors [867-6009(W), 568-1338(C)]

2. Discuss the assembling of the SERT. 3. Has the death been verified?2 By whom? When? What are the facts? o In case of reporting a student death, the local school administrator, School Resource Officer (SRO), or central office personnel will confirm the information as soon as possible. Keep in mind that this information is confidential and will not be immediately accessible. Do not call the affected students family to verify this information; if an error has been made, they could become unnecessarily upset or stressed. For accidents and suicides, verify the information through the police department; for death from illness verify information with family members or hospital staff.
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4. If facts are not verified: Tell the person providing the information not to repeat it elsewhere in the school. Explain the schools need to verify the information and have any announcement of the event come from the designated school administrator. If there is concern regarding the likelihood of compliance with this request, it may be useful to keep the reporting person in the office (or have that person come into the office if he or she called the information) until appropriate steps can be taken. Tell office staff members NOT to repeat or give out any information within or outside school until specifically instructed to do so. Have them direct all questions to the administrator or designee until told otherwise.

5. The timing of the notification of a crisis may alter the order of the initial steps taken. For example, if the school is notified in the morning, the administrator decides when to notify the students. In some cases it may be best to wait and tell the students the next morning, instead of tell the students and then dismissing them. If the decision is to wait until the next day, the faculty should be told after dismissal. If notification is received at night or on the weekend, ask the person providing the information not to spread the information further until the situation is verified.

6. Consultation with the Director of Public Relations-321--2502 7. Consultation about if a crisis team is needed, how many members should be on the team, and whether the administrator has any preferences regarding team members. 8. Provide a sign-in/out sheet for DCT (see p. 183). 9. Notification and involvement of the on-site School Counselor. 10. Decide if and when an emergency faculty meeting should be scheduled (see p. 22). 11. Decide who tells the students classroom teacher(s). 12. Decide how to notify the faculty and staff. Is there a telephone tree?
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13. Decide if there is time for the classroom teacher(s) to call parents of the students in the class. 14. Create a memo for the faculty about situation (see pp. 81-83). 15. Create a brief statement to be read to selected rooms about the incident (see pp. 8283). Note: This should never be done by way of the Public Address (PA) system. 16. Decide about the school sending flowers instead of students collecting up money. 17. Decide about composing a letter to the parents (see pp. 75-80). 18. Decide how to inform students about the arrangements. 19. Decide about check out procedures to attend funeral and how to inform parents of the procedures. 20. Decide the role of clergy and other community agencies in the crisis intervention. 21. Consult (with or without input from the school counselor and SERT) about what to do when the students arrive. 22. Discuss the possibility of a room for concerned parents. 23. Consult about press procedures. Normally, the press is not permitted in the school or on the school property. The press will want a statement. This may come from the administrator, Director of Public Relations, or the DCT Coordinator. This statement may be scheduled at a certain time or just before school starts or after school has closed for the day (see pp. 29-30). A decision may be made to answer questions from the press, off the school property. Many times the press will leave as soon as they get a statement or have questions answered. List of faculty/staff and room assignments. Schedule of the students classes. Names of teachers who taught the student. Identify students, staff, and parents likely to be most affected by the news (e.g., due to their relationship to the deceased/injured, recent or anticipated family losses, personal history with similar crisis, recent confrontations with the affected student). These persons are targeted for additional support ( see p. 179). Names of friends and their schedules. Map of the school.
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24. Obtain the following:

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List of any special clubs/organizations affiliated with the student. Details regarding other tragedies or deaths (if any) that have occurred recently to members of the school family. Any other special circumstances DCT might need to know. Any siblings at the school or other schools. Locker number. Bus route.

25. Discuss consulting with the Director of Transportation (321-2282) about the incident if the student is a bus rider. 26. Discuss consulting with the Director of Food Services (321-2588) about the incident (additional personnel in building, special events). 27. Discuss consulting with Plant Manager and Cafeteria Manager. 28. Discuss the location of the counseling room(s). 29. Discuss items needed in the counseling room (see p. 173). 30. Discuss talking with the teacher of the student who died; assess the condition of the teacher. 31. Discuss officially withdrawing the deceased student from the school attendance rolls, SASSC, MacSchool, or any other new record keeping system. Remove students name from all rolls, including special classes and study hall. Discuss at emergency faculty meeting. 32. Discuss School Office Staff Checklist (see p. 171). 33. Discuss interventions in the classroom of the deceased student prior to students arrival. This should be done with the classroom teachers assistance, if possible. Rearrange the room. Remove the extra chair/desk. Remove the students personal effects/books and put them in the office or other designated location. Remove material in the locker. Scan the room. Remove the students name/picture from any posters/charts in the room. Remove the students papers from stacks that have been graded or will be graded. Make a notation in the grade book concerning the student.

34. Discuss procedures for when the students arrive in class.


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The teacher needs to be in control of his/her emotions, as much as possible. If this is not possible, another professional should be in the classroom (administrator, counselor, DCT, etc.). Teachers should be honest yet not give unnecessary information or gory details. One question the students will ask is Why? and the answer is I dont know why. Upon reading the statement to the class, an additional professional might need to be in the room for added support.

35. Activities for the students (also see pp. 111-136). Review and distribute guidelines to help teachers with classroom discussion during the emergency faculty meeting. Allow the students to briefly talk about the incident. Encourage the students to talk about the fun times they had with the student. Write a letter to the parents. Make sympathy cards. Make sympathy poster. Make a wall of remembrance using bulletin board paper; ask students to write memories on the paper, and this will be rolled up and given to the family. All school personnel and students should make an effort to get back to a regular routine as soon as possible.

36. Discuss who should talk with the clergy and any other community agencies that will provide services in the school. In most cases the DCT coordinator can take care of this. The administrator makes this decision. Discuss the role of these outside groups in the school and be specific about Dos & Donts.

All cards, letters, and posters must be read by the crisis team prior to giving them to the family.

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37. Discuss the role of the DCT. Provide grief support for students in designated building areas (counseling areas). o Try to have more than one area available for this purpose, if possible. o Counselors and school psychologists will on duty in these areas at all times. o These individuals keep lists of students seen. o These individuals contact parents/guardians of students who are having a difficult time. Provide for a stand-in for any substitute teacher in the building or for any staff member unable or unwilling to deal with the reading the statement and subsequent discussion. A school counselor, school psychologist, or social worker will follow a deceased students class schedule for the remainder of the day to determine whether a teacher or other students need additional support. Work in large groups, small groups, and with individuals. Work with parents. Present an evening workshop for parents. Assist with the reading of the statement. Substitute for teachers who are unable to get immediate control of their emotions. Offer breaks for teachers. Substitute for teachers when teachers are needed in an IEP team meeting. Assist with arrival and dismissal. Document on the Client Contact Log (see p. 177). Consult with the site school counselor. Call absentees. Talk with other teachers/staff and assess their emotional status. Assist the teachers who are directly and indirectly involved with the crisis. Assist the administrators in the decision-making process, when necessary. Attempt to talk to the students in as small a number as possible.
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Inform the administration of students who need to go home. Work with any faculty or staff members who may be uncontrollably upset. Work with parents who are uncontrollably upset. Document the names of students who are extremely upset. Be prepared to follow-up with these students. Provide support to faculty and other staff members in the lounge. Provide private support to individual staff members previously identified. Post EAP information (458-0966) for faculty and staff. Review the stages of grief as preparation for questions. Encourage everyone to start the regular routine as soon as possible. Provide SAP referral (763-4357) and/or Mobile Crisis (577-9400) as needed.

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The Staff Meeting: DCT Coordinators Role


Administration must be aware of the emotional status of teachers and staff as they cope with a crisis and be prepared to assist those having difficulty performing their assignments. The school administrator and designated staff or DCT may do the following at the first staff meeting during a school crisis: 1. Pass around a photograph of the deceased student to familiarize staff with the student. 2. Review the facts of the crisis and dispel rumors. 3. Help staff members process their responses to the situation. 4. Discuss the statement and the procedures for reading the statement. 5. Describe the feelings that students may experience and suggest how teachers might handle specific situations (see pp. 47-55). 6. Provide guidelines for helping students who are upset (see p. 116). 7. Provide brochure Helping a Grieving Friend. (see pp. 65; 223-225). 8. Encourage teachers to allow for expressions of grief, anger, etc. in the class in which the announcement is received or in other classes throughout the day. Emphasize the acceptability/normalcy of a range of expressions. Allowing students to discuss these issues in class will prevent large gatherings of students in the halls and elsewhere. 9. Discuss with teachers to the fact that they should let DCT know of any students exhibiting uncontrollable emotional stress or who are uncharacteristically withdrawn. These students should be sent individually to see a DCT member, and an adult may escort the student if possible. A hall pass should be given (see p. 211). 10. The guiding principle is to return to the normal routine as soon as possible within each class and within the school. The structure of routine provides security and comfort to all members of the school community. 11. Encourage staff to dispel rumors whenever possible and discourage any glorification of the event (especially in suicidal death). 12. Encourage staff to stick to the facts. 13. If necessary, request staff to meet 30 minutes early the next morning to review procedures and debrief. If the crisis occurs on a Friday, call the meeting for the following Monday morning.

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Perks For Faculty and Staff


Faculty and staff members may experience an enormous amount of stress and pressure. Many times some perks in the teacher/staff mailboxes helps to relieve some of the stress. Inspirational quotes in mailboxes (www.quoteland.com). Candy in mailboxes reflecting careHugs, Kisses, Payday, 100 Grand, etc. Tips in mailbox-Take Care of Yourself (see p. 61). Secure snacks and/or lunch provided by other schools. Put fresh flowers on tables in the lounge. Display words of encouragement from other schools.

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Crisis Intervention Suggestions for District Crisis Team By DCT Coordinator


Role with District Crisis Team (DCT)
DCT Coordinator will: Contact school counselors and school psychologists. Give directions to the school. Give basic facts. Set time and place to meet in the school.

Schedule pre-meeting for DCT (see pp. 25-26). Schedule debriefing meeting for DCT (see p. 27). Prepare specific tasks/roles for DCT (see p. 175). Assignments will consider the following faculty, staff, areas, and needs: Specialists. Special education teachers (OT, PT, Speech, and so forth). Plant Manager and staff. Cafeteria Manager and staff. Office staff. SASSC operator for absences. Regular education teachers. By grade levels. By teams. By hallways. Teachers who taught the student. Bus duty, arrival/dismissal. Hall duty, arrival/dismissal.
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Hovering outside affected classroom. Follow the students schedule, usually the site school counselor. Assignments for the time that the statement will be read. Counseling area.

DCT Member Responsibilities


Work in large groups, small groups, and with individuals. Work with parents. Present an evening workshop for parents. Assist with the reading of the statement. Substitute for teachers who are unable to get immediate control of their emotions. Offer breaks for teachers. Substitute for teachers when teachers are needed in an IEP team meeting. Assist with arrival and dismissal. Document on the Client Contact Log (see p. 177). Consult with the site school counselor. Call absentees. Talk with other teachers/staff and assess their emotional status. Assist the teachers who are directly and indirectly involved with the crisis. Assist the administrators in the decision-making process, when necessary. Attempt to talk to the students in as small a number as possible. Inform the administration of students who need to go home. Work with any faculty or staff members who may be uncontrollably upset. Work with parents who are uncontrollably upset. Document the names of students who are extremely upset. Be prepared to followup with these students. Give the administrator EAP information (458-0966) for faculty and staff.
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Refer students to SAP (763-4357) or Mobile Crisis (577-9400) Review the stages of grief as preparation for questions. Encourage everyone to start the regular routine as soon as possible. Remember these things: Students are resilient. They do bounce back. Older students, generally, have more trouble with death than younger ones. Getting back to a normal routine as soon as possible is comforting to all concerned. Be in control of your emotions. Be aware that many of the faculty and staff may be working under extreme stress. Be prepared to make some tough decisions! Dont expect perfection from yourself.

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DCT Coordinators Debriefing Meeting

(see p. 189)
Welcome Ask the following: How did it go? What are the strengths? What needs to be strengthened? How do you feel? Did you eat? Decide who needs to return. Collect all the documentation. Discuss certain students. Prepare for tomorrow.

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Media Guidelines
These procedures are recommended to the District Crisis Team in dealing with media representatives. 1. The press will want a statement. This may come from the administrator, Director of Public Relations, or the DCT Coordinator. This statement may be scheduled at a certain time or just before school starts or after school has closed for the day. 2. Use the prepared, Statement to the Media as a guideline in preparing your statement. Make copies of your statement. 3. Specify the time at which a statement will be made. 4. A decision may be made to answer questions from the press off the school property. 5. Many times, the press will leave as soon as they get a statement or have questions answered. 6. In the press statement, state the exact situation. For instance, if an alleged crime is involved, make a statement to this effect: a. This is a police matter and no information will be issued by school personnel at this time. 7. Use explanatory statements when unable to give information. Do not hesitate to state: a. Release of this information would be a violation of the students right to confidentiality and can not be disclosed. b. No information is available at this time. 8. Release of a picture most likely will be requested. Tell them: It is the familys decision whether or not to release a picture.

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Sample Media Statement

Statement to Media Shelby County Schools District Crisis Team, which involves local school and central office personnel and community consultants, presently is responding to assist our students, faculty, and staff in coping with the shock and grief due to the death of our student, (Students Name). (Students Name) has been enrolled at (Name of School) for (Specify years). He/she is in (Specify grade level). (Students Name) participated in (list school activities). Please do not attempt to interview students, faculty, or staff. Please confine your activities to off-campus areas. Additionally, please do not film students faces. Any further details will be released as available.

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What Do You Say? What Do You Do? Cheat Sheets for DCT Members

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What Do You Say & What Do You Do: A Cheat Sheet for DCT Members
In working with students who are very emotional, sometimes it is helpful to move them from the emotional brain to the thinking brain. Students must be led into this very carefully. Below are some generic phrases and activities that may help with the process. Students may write, draw, or just talk. You may write down their thoughts they have verbalized to you for them, if the act of writing interferes with the process.

What Do You Say


(Always ask, have you been in the counseling room before? Do you remember who talked with you? If the answer is yes, pull their client contact sheet.) Where were you when you heard about it? What thoughts or feelings have you had? How did you react at first? How are you reacting now? What impact has this had on you? I cant imagine how upset you must be. Things like this just dont make sense. What does it mean to you to have your (ex: friend) dead? Its okay to be angry or afraid. How did you know him (her)? How did you learn of ______s death? I didnt know ________. Tell me what _________ was like. Tell me some of your favorite memories of ________. Im not sure how anyone can fully understand how much pain this has caused your family. Sometimes its hard to talk about an awful event and you just feel like crying instead, thats okay. Whats the hardest part about this right now? What are your greatest fears? What is going to happen to you when you get home? Will you have family support?
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Who is your support system? Are there people you can call? If you wake up in the middle of the night and feel scared, could you wake your parents? Who will be here for you at school tomorrow? Who can you talk to here at school? Is there anything we could do that we have not thought of? (Hand the student Helping Friends and Classmates with the Grieving Process see pp. 65-71; 223-25). Who is someone you can talk to about this? Its painful. Im sorry this has happened. I cant imagine what this is like for you. Its hard to think youll ever feel good again after such a horrible thing like this happens. Is there something that we can do for you that we havent thought of yet? And then there is silence. Just being with your friend (student, etc.) as long as you need to. This grieving person will know you are right there with them. Your caring presence can be invaluable.

Share Some First Word Activities


Talk to your friend. What you say is not as important as the simple fact that you are letting him know you care about him and acknowledge that this is a difficult time for him. (If you absolutely can not bring yourself to say something, write a short note or send a card). Here are some examples: Hello. Im glad to see you. I have really been thinking about you. Im sorry to hear about your _______s death. I cant imagine how tough this is for you. I know you will miss him. Let me know if I can help you.

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What Do You Do
Write what you would want to tell your friend. (see p. 69) Write what you would want to tell your friends family to know (see pp. 65-71). Construct a graphic organizer which represents your friends likes, dislikes, personality traits, etc. Relate a quote to this situation (see pp. 118-122). Write a poem about your friend. Write a story about the best time you and your friend had together. Draw a comic strip illustrating a funny time you and your friend had together. Pick a food and relate it to your friend. Pick a color and relate it to your friend. Write a rap about your friend. Write a song about your friend. If you could go somewhere with your friend, where would it be and why? Scribbling and then color in the spaces with colors representing your feelings. Make a cheat sheet on what to say at a visitation and/or funeral. Mini role-play behavior at a visitation and/or funeral. Share descriptions of a funeral home and/or funeralinclude what one can see, hear, and smell.

Suggestions for Helping the Classmate upon Returning to School


(see p. 71) Your friend may feel awkward when returning to school. Often people make the mistake of not saying anything because they dont know what to say. Make sure you speak to your friend. Here are a few concrete suggestions of Things to Do: o Offer to provide missed notes. o Give the classmate your phone number so he or she can call about assignments. o Keeping in mind that routine events may be difficult, invite him to study with you for an upcoming test or work together on a project. o Call to check on your friend. o Be available so your friend doesnt feel shunned or left out. Here are a few concrete suggestions of Things Not to Do: o Do not ignore the friend. o Do not say, I know how you feel. No one knows the real relationship your friend had with the deceased. o Do not spread rumors about what happened. Stick to the facts. o Do not expect your classmate to be his or her old self. o Do not think your friend is over his grief just because he or she doesnt act upset.

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What to Say: Using the NOVA3 Model


INTRODUCTION The purpose of our talking together is to help you work through the reactions you may be having. Everyone in this room is likely to be having reactions. These reactions may feel strange - like this is not really happening- but the reactions are normal. What we want to do is help you understand these feelings so you can better deal with them. DESCRIBING PROCEDURE TO GROUP I know that some of you may not feel like talking at all. I understand. You do not have to talk if you dont want to. You can say, Pass. I encourage all of you to talk at some time because what you say may help someone else. Everyone will have a chance to speak. BEGINNING Lets start here with you. (Choose a willing student and then go around the group). When did you hear about the accident/incident? Where were you/what were you doing when you heard? What was your first thought? REACTION/FEELINGS After attending to each students response, go around again with reaction questions or direct questions to the whole group. What was your reaction when you heard about it? or How did you feel then? What is the worst thing about this for you? What are you having the most trouble handling? Normalize these feelings and reactions. Its OK to feel that way. Who else has felt that way? FOLLOW-UP WITH SYMPTOMS Have any of you had difficulty sleeping or dont feel like eating? How has your body let you know this was a terrible event? Normalize the reactions: A lot of people feel this way when something terrible has happened. FOLLOW-UP WITH COPING What has helped you? Who else found something that has helped them? Closure: Expressing these feeling may help you to do an activity that will even help further. Lets discuss some activities that you may want to do. (Go around the group and get ideas.) At the end say, Is there anything else I can do to help? Get responses. Plan to meet again, if the group decides a meeting would be helpful.
3

National Organization for Victim Assistance.


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Introducing the Concept of Attending a Visitation or a Funeral


It is normal to feel nervous about going to a funeral home or a funeral. Have a friend or parent go with you. Your friend will appreciate your presence. Here are some things to do: Offer your condolences. I am sorry for your loss. I wanted to come be with you. Give him a hug. If the casket is open, go up to pay your respects if you feel comfortable. It is not necessary. Sign the guest book. If there are items and pictures on display they will help start a conversation.

Phrases to Avoid
I know how you feel. She/he led a good long lifeIt was Gods will(any other platitudes) At least she/he did not suffer.

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Follow Up Procedures

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Follow-Up To Crisis Situations


It is important to realize that a crisis is not over with the passing of one or even two days. Instead, short-term and long-term follow-up will be necessary to achieve closure. The goal at the school level is to address students emotional and social needs directly related to the crisis situation. The DCT does not provide long-term counseling or address underlying issues for students with deeper or more severe problems. In those instances, a Student Assistance Program (SAP; 763-4357) or Mobile Crisis (577-9400) referral should be made by the school counselor. The Follow-Up Checklist (see p. 187) will be useful in the days and weeks following a crisis. Longer-term follow-up procedures are also listed.

Personal Effects
Upon collection of personal effects, sort through them. Put effects in a box possibly decorated by students. Read and screen all cards, posters, and remembrance items before putting them in the box. Consider adding a representation of a school mascot into the box. Consider adding a personal message from administration, counselor, and/or teacher. Consider giving the family a free yearbook or class picture. Consider making a home visit, in a timely manner, to deliver personal effects.

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Anniversaries Of Tragedy
The intensity of traumatic memories and reactions to crises lessen over time, yet memories of the traumatic event never completely go away. A variety of life events can re-trigger intense reactions to trauma. The anniversary effect may result in survivors re-experiencing many of the feelings and reactions related to the initial traumatic event. Individuals with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are particularly affected by the anniversary effect. Steps which should be considered prior to the anniversary effect include: 1. Prepare your school in advance. Ensure that teachers and parents understand the possibly of a reawakening of intense emotions and reactions. 2. This would be a good time for school personnel to develop plans to offer staff training in prevention programs and/or to develop procedures for referral of atrisk students. 3. Anniversaries generally receive significant coverage in the media that reemphasizes the gory details of the event. It is important to limit students exposure to media reports in the newspaper, magazines and television. 4. Listen and talk to students about what they are feeling. Let students need guide your approach. Explain that is normal and understandable to be upset at this time. Be prepared for a wide range of behaviors. 5. Adjustments may be needed with curriculum demands. This is not a good time for extensive instruction or tests. It can be a time to focus on positive issues such as tolerance, anger management, and effective coping strategies.

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Memorials and Post Crisis Strategies


Dos and Donts DO NOT organize school assemblies to honor the deceased student. DO NOT take up money from students for flowers. The school will send flowers. DO NOT pathalogize normal grief reactions nor minimize serious, atypical grief reactions. DO NOT force students to participate or share feelings and ideas. DO NOT allow students to create shrines in the school setting. DO develop pre-crisis intervention programs that address the problems that lead to the crisis event. DO try to move students from the role of victims to the role of doers. DO allow students to create appropriate memories, such as a Wall of Rememberance on butcher paper (see p. 117) to be given to the family that day. DO provide a Student Assistance Program (SAP; 763-4357) or Mobile Crisis (577-9400) referral for students who display complicated grief reactions and ensure appropriate support services are available.

In The Case Of A Suicide


DO NOT dedicate the yearbook or yearbook pages, proms, athletic events, or advertisement to the deceased student DO NOT pay tribute by planting trees, hanging engraved plaques, etc.

Suggestions for Appropriate Memorials


Students, particularly adolescents, should be involved in the planning and execution of memorial activities. The local school administrator(s) make the final decision on the type of activity. Roles of students, staff, parents, and community members involved in the process should be defined by the school administration. Donation of books to the library with a sticker inside In memory of..... Canned food drive which is donated to a local food bank Donated in memory of... Consider establishing a fund for contributions to a local suicide prevention hotline, crisis center, or to a national suicide prevention organization. Contributions can be made to a cancer research program or hospital if a student, faculty, or staff member dies of cancer. If a student is killed by a drunk driver, an organization such as S.A.D.D (Students Against Drunk Driving) could be developed for the school.

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Reactions to Grief and Loss

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Reactions to Grief and Loss


Stages of Grief: The Normal Cycle for All Losses
Perhaps the best-known author and expert in the area of grief and loss is Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. The following are the stages of grief described in her writings. Knowing the stages of grief will help to understand what is happening to the student and to be able to assess the students progress. It should be kept in mind that while the stages are sequential the student complete a phase and then later return briefly to that same phase. Also, the student might revisit some of the stages when they are in the presence of someone experiencing a similar loss (e.g., attending a funeral, seeing someone else grieve, or on the anniversary of the loss). It is possible for a person to become stuck in a stage and not be able to move forward without help. 1. Loss, such as the death of a loved one, end of a relationship, loss of a job, loss of property, or failure to meet goals/expectations. 2. Denial, often seen as shock or disbelief. 3. Bartering, usually an offer of some service or sacrifice (e.g., If you will return/restore ____, I will ____.). 4. Anger aimed at a variety of targets, such as self, others, the loved one, or at God. 5. Depression, experiencing feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and grief. 6. Acceptance, an admission that the event is final and irreversible.

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Phases of the Grieving Process


Each individual is unique and moves through the grief process in his own way and in his own time. This outline will provide a description of some of the reactions by those who have experienced a significant loss. At any moment, one may regress to a previous stage this is normal and not a cause for concern. Initial Reaction Shock Numbness Denial Intense emotions (anger, fear, frustration, guilt) Hours to Days Reality registers Preoccupation with the deceased Physical and emotional symptoms (headaches, stomachaches, insomnia, poor appetite, anxiety) Flashes of the deceaseds presence Weeks to Months Disorganization Questioning Confusion Bargaining Continued anger Depression Months to Years Acceptance New traumas rekindle grief/feelings of loss Anniversaries may always be difficult

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Age-Specific Reactions To Loss


PRESCHOOL (AGES 2-6)
Cognitive Level (preverbal) May not have language to express thoughts/experience. May focus on their immediate life and what is happening now. May not understand less tangible concepts. May have concerns about abandonment as main focus. May not think of death as permanent; may ask when deceased is coming back. Communicate through Play Play or acting out is key form of communication and security. Fantasy and magical thinking (i.e., students think everything is under their control) provides outlet for fears. Imagining super heroes protecting them or retaliating. Reenacting trauma in play. Behaviors May engage in behaviors that are immature and regressive, such as thumb sucking, bed wetting, fear of the dark, speech difficulties, clinging, whining, and separation difficulties. May believe in visitations from deceased, ghosts or reincarnations. Might believe they said or did something to cause death and feel guilty. Special Considerations Correct misconceptions and myths overheard from others or seen in media. Need to trust that their environment is safe and stable. Transitions or changes (such as kindergarten) may result in fears and anxieties related to death or traumatic event. Very young children take their cues regarding how to respond to situations from significant others in their environment. Attempt to model calm behavior. Giving too much information to a younger child may foster a sense of confusion, fear, and insecurity. Use simpler words and concepts.

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ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (AGES 6-10)


Cognitive Level Concrete reasoning. May not have the ability to adequately express their feelings verbally. Younger students may still think of death as reversible. Reactions Reflected in Play and Artwork Fantasizing event with (self as ) savior at the end. May externalize death into concrete images (monsters, scary animals). Play-acting the role of hero. Fantasizing revenge. Reenacting event. Behaviors May ask questions repetitively to find answers for their loss which reflects their feelings of confusion and uncertainty. May have conflicted feelings, such as fearing own death, feeling sad because person is gone, feeling angry at parents for preoccupation with grieving, feeling guilty about wishing deceased had died. May have feelings of anger at parents/teachers for not protecting them or for leaving them. May sporadically distance themselves from sadness as an absence of grief. May experience school avoidance or separation anxiety. May exhibit regressive behaviors such as whining, clinging, fears of dark, bedwetting. May focus on actions they wished they had taken. May display persistent focus on details of the trauma/death. May exhibit aggressive behaviors at school or home. May experience fear of personal harm. May withdraw or experience social isolation. May display attention seeking behavior. Special Considerations Traumatic events may affect feelings of security and impede new relationships. Play is important for communication and children; they should be encouraged to explain the purpose of their play. Interventions Play sessions. Painting or drawing (ask them to describe their drawing or draw things that make them feel afraid). Encourage them to tell a story(e.g., what they remember about the incident).
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ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE SCHOOL (AGES 11-14)

Cognitive Level (Abstract Thinking) Typically, at about age 12, the full concept of death may be understood, i.e., the student realizes that death is permanent and irreversible. Assume everyone will die when they are old and have done everything they wanted to do so; crisis results when they realize they too can die. Reactions reflected primarily in behavior that is less mature than characteristic behavior (more childlike attitudes). Attribute symbolic meanings to events (e.g. omens). Behaviors

Anger at unfairness. Psychosomatic illness such as nausea, sleep disturbance and headaches. Rebellion at home. Fighting or attention-seeking at school. Withdrawal, loss of interest. Generalized anxiety. Fascination with facts about actual death and death rituals which may result in asking intrusive or insensitive questions.

Special Considerations Words and symbols mean a great deal to them. Stories, plays, poetry, and music often serve as a basis for expression. Peer reactions are significant. Need to know that others feel the same way they do. Need to get back into routine. Should temporarily relax expectations at home and school, such as reduce homework and classroom assignments. Interventions Write stories about the deceased. Draw pictures. Write letters to the family. Group discussions that encourage students to talk about their feelings regarding the crisis. Create plays or stories with favorable outcomes. May need more individualized academic instruction.

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MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL (AGES 13-18)


Cognitive Level More abstract and hypothetical thinking. Better sense of the permanence of death. Cognitive distortions that this could never happen to them. Reactions are similar to adult behaviors. Perceive death as final, irreversible, and universal. Fears focus on dying process and consequences of the death for the living. Behavior Exhibit stress related symptoms, such as nausea, headaches, sleep disorders, difficulty eating, etc. May question and reject adult authority and decision-making in which they are not a part. Become very emotional. Prone to active dreaming and the sense of telepathic powers. Fears focus on dying process and consequences of the death for the living. Preoccupied with peer relationships where they will turn for comfort and support. May engage in alcohol, drug abuse, and other risk-taking behaviors. Intrusive recollections. Loss of activities once enjoyed. Emotional and mental fatigue. May try to downplay their concerns or feelings about the situation. May idealize the deceased, especially if a friend. Special Considerations Although seeking independence, may want and need more guidance and structure in their life, particularly if they feel out of control. With the loss of a friend, there ia a loss of companionship, an important confidant and personal support. Survivor guilt is when one feels responsible for death of friend or significant other. Allow regression, dependency, and fluctuations in maturity level. Watch for unresolved conflicts of the past. Answer questions and provide factual information; correct distortions they may have. Focus on strengths and constructive adaptive behaviors. Identify and resolve students sense of powerlessness.

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Suicide Of A Friend Feelings of disbelief, hurt, guilt, betrayal, and fear. If they have considered suicide at one time or another, may now realize that this option is a real possibility. Interventions Develop peer support groups. Provide a way for students to take leadership in the aftermath of a trauma (see Memorials, p. 43). Discuss ways to cope with traumatic situations. Encourage, but do not insist on, discussion.

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ALL STUDENTS
General Behaviors and Issues Be sensitive to cultural issues and differences among students and families. Increased aggression, oppositional behavior, and decreased frustration tolerance. Increased irritability, emotional lability, and depression. Denial. Decreased academic performance and poor concentration. Increased fear and anxiety. Stress related behaviors )e.g., sleep disturbances, change in eating habits, stomachaches, and headaches). Changes in personality: o outgoing student becomes withdrawn and loses spontaneity o quiet child becomes rude, aggressive, and irritable. Children tend to look to significant adult figures (parents, teachers, etc.) in their lives for reassurance about their own reactions and to learn how to grieve. Withdrawal/isolation from peers. Concentration difficulties and poor school performance. Activities Place a collection box in the class for notes to the family. Urge students to write the things they wish they could have said to the individual. Encourage physical activities. Funeral Preparation Talk with students about what to expect be as specific as possible; find out if there will be an open casket and let students know about that (see pp. 37; 67). Discuss peoples reactions emphasize that a range of reactions as normal. Discuss what to do include any activities that may be unique to this students family or culture. Decide and rehearse what to say to family members.

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ADULTS
Common Reactions Numbness, shock, and difficulty believing what has occurred. Difficulty in decision making; uncertainty about things. Loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, and loss of interest in everyday activities. Desire to get away from everyone including family and friends. Becoming irritable or upset more quickly than usual. Feelings of fatigue, hopelessness, and helplessness. Difficulty accepting that the crisis has had an impact or accepting support from friends and the community.

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder


Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is in many ways a normal response to an abnormal situation and can be devastating for years if steps are not taken to prevent it.

PTSD Symptoms
Recurrent and intrusive recollections of the event. Feeling emotionally numb. Feeling overwhelmed by what would normally be considered everyday situations and diminished interest in performing normal tasks or pursuing usual interests. Crying uncontrollably. Avoiding social situation and isolating oneself from family and friends. Feeling extremely moody, irritable, angry, suspicious, or frightened. Having difficulty falling or staying asleep, sleeping too much and experiencing nightmares. Feeling guilty about surviving the event; being unable to solve the problem, change the event or prevent the disaster. Hypervigilant or avoidance-behavior. Decline in cognitive performance. Startled reactions. Physiological symptoms, such as breathlessness, heart palpitations, fatigue, sweating, and shaking.

Symptoms Specific to Children Distortion of time related to event and the sequence of events. Reenactments of traumatic events (usually not conscious). Repetitive play, drawings, or poems involving traumatic themes. Pessimistic expectations of the future and lifespan. Marked and enduring personality changes. Greater memory of the event than adults. Fantasizing changes to undo the event.

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Phases Of Reactions To Trauma-Inducing Events


IMPACT Phase Occurs immediately following the event and can last from minutes to days. The student is functioning on automatic and feels stunned. Denial of effects to trauma is common, especially among boys with a macho attitude. The intensity of effects is increased when there is wide media coverage. RECOIL Phase Can last a few days to several weeks. There is a great need to retell the story numerous times. Emotional reactions, which begin at this phase, include angry outbursts, bouts of uncontrollable crying, and possibly panic attacks. ONSET of PTSD The onset of PTSD can begin weeks or months after the tragedy. A student may feel a great deal of grief, possibly survivor guilt. Student may have intrusive thoughts where replaying the incident over and over is the brains attempt to make sense of what happened and gain a sense of mastery over event. A person suffering from PTSD will usually suffer severe interruptions in relationships because the trauma is difficult to share with someone who was not there.

Post- Trauma Debriefing


Post-trauma debriefing creates a supportive environment to process blocked communication, which often interferes with the expression of grief or feelings of guilt, to correct distorted attitudes toward the deceased, and to discuss ways of coping with the loss. Successful resolution and psychological well-being is dependent upon interventions that prepare individuals for periods of stress and help survivors return to their pre-crisis equilibrium. It begins the process of putting the event and the students reactions in perspective. Natural feelings of denial and avoidance predominate during the first 24 hours. The debriefing can be offered to all persons affected by the loss. The tone must be positive, supportive, and understanding. Reminders for Debriefing 1. Stress confidentiality. 2. Encourage everyone to be themselves. Tell them they may talk if they want to or not talk if they prefer to be silent. 3. Remind students that what they say may help someone else.

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Coping with Grief and Loss

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Take Care of Yourself: Helpful Suggestions for Faculty and Staff

Avoid excessive media exposure. Take time to relax and do things you find pleasant. Getting away for a few hours with close friends can be helpful. Stick with your regular routine for a while; avoid making changes, even if it appears to be a positive change. Get regular exercise or participate in a regular sport, activity soothes anxiety and helps you relax. Avoid taking on any new responsibilities or new projects. Eat and Sleep! There is no substitute for support. Find it and Give it! If symptoms persist beyond a few weeks, seek professional help. Remember that services are available through the Employee Assistance Program, 458-0966.

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Take Care of Yourself: Helpful Suggestions for Students


Get support from friends and family. Ask for lots of hugs! Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Listen to your favorite music. Play with your pets. Read a favorite story or book. Allow yourself to cry. Get plenty of rest. Sing out loud. Watch a fun movie. Make and enjoy your favorite snack. Cuddle up with a favorite stuffed animal. Write letters about things you are thankful for in your life. Play your favorite game with a friend. Talk a walk. Call a friend. Play basketball Go for a run! Go skateboarding. Jump on a trampoline.

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Helping a Grieving Friend First Words


Talk to your friend! What you say is not as important as the simple fact that you are letting him or her know you care and acknowledge that this is a difficult time for him or her.

Here are some examples: Hello. Im glad to see you. I have really been thinking about you. Im sorry to hear about your _______s death. I cant imagine how tough this is for you. I know you will miss him. Let me know if I can help you.

If you absolutely can not bring yourself to say something, write a short note or send a card.

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Attending a Visitation or a Funeral


It is normal to feel nervous about going to a funeral home or a funeral. Have a friend or parent go with you. Your grieving friend will appreciate your presence.

Here are some things to do: Offer your condolences. I am sorry for your loss. I wanted to come be with you. Give him a hug. If the casket is open, go up to pay your respects if you feel comfortable. It is not necessary. Sign the guest book. If there are items and pictures on display they will help start a conversation.

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What To Say To Show That You Care


I cant imagine how upset you must be. Things like this just dont make sense. What does it mean to you to have your (ex: friend, dad) die at your age? Its okay to be angry or afraid. How did you know him (her)? How did you learn of ______s death? I didnt know ________. Tell me what _________ was like. Tell me some of your favorite memories of ________. Im not sure how anyone can fully understand how much pain this has caused your family. Sometimes its hard to talk about an awful event and you just feel like crying instead, thats okay. Whats the hardest part about this right now? Who is someone you can talk to about this? Its painful. Im sorry this has happened. I cant imagine what this is like for you. Its hard to think youll ever feel good again after such a horrible thing like this happens. Is there something that we can do for you that we havent thought of yet? And then there is silence. Just being with your friend (student, etc.) as long as you need to. This grieving person will know you are right there with them. Your caring presence can be invaluable.
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Helping a Grieving Friend: Returning to School


Your friend may feel awkward when returning to school. Often people make the mistake of not saying anything because they dont know what to say. Make sure you speak to your friend. Here are a few concrete suggestions: Offer to provide missed notes. Give the classmate your phone number so he or she can call about assignments. Keeping in mind that routine events may be difficult, invite him or her to study with you for an upcoming test or work together on a project. Call to check on your friend. Be available so your friend doesnt feel shunned or left out. Talk to your friend about the person who died. If you do not know enough about the person to start a conversation, just say something like, Tell me some things that you and your ______ liked to do together.

Things Not to Do
Do not ignore the friend. Do not say, I know how you feel. No one knows the real relationship your friend had with the deceased. Do not spread rumors about what happened. Stick to the facts. Do not expect your classmate to be his or her old self. Do not think your friend is over his or her grief just because he or she doesnt act upset.

After Time Has Passed


Invite your friend to come over and to go places. Encourage others to do the same. Call to check on your friend or just to talk. Continue to extend invitations even if they are rejected at first. From time to time talk to your friend about the deceased.
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Sample Letters and Memos

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Sample Letter to Parents

Death of a Staff Member

Dear Parents, This past weekend, ________________, one of our beloved teachers died. Our entire school community is in shock over hearing this tragic news. ____________ has been a dedicated teacher for ______ years. His/her love of students and enthusiasm for learning will be deeply missed. The students have been informed of ___________s death. We are working together with our Shelby County Schools District Crisis Team to offer support to the students and staff at school. Please talk with your child about what has happened. Our Crisis Team will continue to be on campus. A library fund has been set up in his/her memory. If you would like to make a donation, please ____________________________. Thank-you for your support during this difficult time. Sincerely,

School Principal

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Sample Letter to Parents

Death of a Student (Suicide)

Dear Parent, The _________________ (name of school) community was saddened to learn of the reported suicide of one of our _________ (grade level) students, ________________ (name). The death of any young person is a loss that, in one way or another, affects each of us. We extend our most sincere condolences to the _____________________ (name of family). Our Shelby County Schools District Crisis Team, comprised of school counselors and school psychologists, is already on campus providing support for our staff and students. They will conduct a special Parent Information and Support meeting in our library at _____________ (time and day of meeting). Hopefully, this will provide you with additional information on how to best assist your child. We appreciate your support during this difficult time. Sincerely,

School Principal

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Sample Letter to Parents

Death of a Student (Accident)

Dear Parents/Guardians, Today we received some tragic news. One of our students, _____________, a _________ (grade level), died in an automobile accident on his way home from school yesterday. Two classmates, ___________ (names) were in the car and were treated and released. Several of our students witnessed the accident. Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to the __________ (name of family). The Shelby County Schools District Crisis Team, comprised of school counselors and school psychologists, has joined us in providing support to all of our students and staff to help them cope with this tragedy. Counselors and teachers have informed the students of the death. Additionally, the team will continue to be available the rest of the week. We suggest that you discuss this matter with your child and respond to questions that may arise.

Sincerely,

School Principal

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Sample Letter to Parents

Death of a Student (Illness)

Dear Parents/Guardians, Today we were saddened to learn of the death of one of our students, _____________, a _______ (grade level) student in ________ (teachers name) room. She/he died from leukemia and other complications. In the two years _______ attended our school, she/he endeared herself/himself to staff and students, not just in her/his own class but throughout the school. _____ (He/She) will be greatly missed. We have talked to the students who were in __________s class about her death. Additionally, our school counselor is available to talk to those who need additional assistance. We suggest that you discuss this matter with your child and respond to questions that may arise.

Sincerely,

School Principal

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Sample Letter to Parents (2 pages)

Parent Letter (Crisis)


[This is page 1 of the letter; its continued on the following page.] Date_________________

Dear Parents, I want to thank everyone for your support as we attempt to deal with yesterdays tragic event. Our ___________ School family is very special, and we are certainly appreciative of your thoughts and prayers. We made every effort to make today as normal as possible. Our faculty reported early to plan for the school day. We were also fortunate to be joined by the Shelby County Schools District Crisis Team, comprised of counselors, psychologists, and social workers. They were here to offer help to any individuals who might need assistance in dealing with yesterdays incident. The District Crisis Team members will make themselves available as long as we feel it is necessary. Considering the circumstances, we had as successful a day at school as possible. This could not have been achieved without the encouragement and tremendous involvement you have with your children. Due to yesterdays events, a special Parent Information and Support Meeting will be held in our library at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Hopefully, this will provide parents with additional information as to how they can best assist their children. If students want to attend the Tuesday meeting they are certainly welcome, but they do need to be accompanied by a parent/guardian. It is important for adults, and parents in particular, to be available to help students through this situation. Thank you again for your wonderful support. Sincerely,

Principal School

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Parent Letter (Crisis)


[This is page 2 of the letter on the previous page.]
The Process of Grief One of the most important things one should know about grief is that it is a process and not an event. People experience this process in many different ways and the adjustment to a loss varies. The event that occurred has brought a great deal of emotion and disbelief to everyone. The following information is presented to aid in the understanding of the process of grief and help parents as their children go through this process. 1) What You May See a) Emotion b) Shock c) Anger d) Guilt e) Sadness f) Fear g) Frustration/Irritability Change in Behaviors a) Withdrawal from activities b) Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping c) Difficulty eating or Overeating d) Acting younger than their age e) Becoming too involved in activities f) Grade improvement or decline g) Conduct improvement or decline What Parents Can Do a) Talk to Your Child b) Allow them to discuss their feelings c) Avoid appearing overly anxious or frightened d) Stick to the facts- Answer questions simply and honestly e) Be aware of adult conversations around children f) Provide support with hugs and comforts they enjoy g) Maintain a Normal Routine h) Continue school and usual activities i) Do not make drastic changes at home j) Temporarily lower expectations k) Avoid unnecessary separation from important caregivers l) Reduce Exposure to the Media and Other Influences i) Limit viewing of the event through TV, newspapers, and Internet ii) Monitor and supervise the material that is presented by the media iii) Limit phone conversations with friends about the event m) Safeguard You and Your Childs Health i) Monitor All Eating and Sleeping Habits ii) Encourage Physical Activity iii) Try to Relax and Get Plenty of Rest iv) Allow Tears and Laughter

2)

3)

Remember that you are a role model for your child. Understanding the grief process will help your child as they experience the loss of their friend or classmate. Again, the process is different for everyone. Some children may take a great deal of time to adjust. Consult your school counselor for more information regarding additional services that are available for you and your child.

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Sample Memo to Teachers

Memo for Notification of Student Death


TO: FROM: DATE: RE: ______________ (student)s Death All Teachers Principal

As many of you may be aware, one of our students recently died as a result of ________________ (an accident, self-inflicted injury, or natural cause). The attached announcement should be read to your students at ____________ (state class period and exact time). If you anticipate any problem in making this announcement to your students, please notify the District Crisis Team Coordinator or Principal immediately.

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Sample Announcement Read to Students by Teachers

Notification of Student Death


NOTICE TO STUDENTS

TEACHERS: Read this notice to your students at _____________(state exact time) after taking the precautions on the attached Memorandum.

As many students may be aware, __________________ (deceased students name) (Indicate nature of trauma, such as ...was involved in an accident... ... sustained an apparent self-inflicted injury ... has been very ill On ________ (state date and approximate time) and died at the hospital. At this time, funeral arrangements ____________________________________ (give any details that are available). We certainly share in the sense of loss felt by ____________ (students name) family and friends. A school counselor will be available in __________________ (location) today if needed.

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Sample Announcement Read to Students by Teachers

Notification of Student Death


Teachers please read this statement to your class, right after morning announcements. READ: Last night we received sad news about a member of our school family. ____________________died last night from injuries received in a car accident. Our thoughts are with____ family at this time. The school will send flowers. School counselors and school psychologists are available in room _______. As soon as we know visitation/funeral arrangements, you will be informed. END OF ANNOUNCEMENT. Take some time to share memories, make cards, etc.

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Suicide

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Suicide
In the case of a student, faculty, or staff suicide, follow the procedures listed elsewhere (see pp. 15-26). However, the following factors should be taken into consideration when carrying out the crisis intervention. School administrators must allow students to grieve the loss of a peer without glorifying the method of death. Over emphasis of a suicide may be interpreted by vulnerable students as a glamorization of the suicidal act, which can assign legendary or idolized status to taking ones own life. Those who desire recognition may be encouraged to emulate the victims behaviors. The following DOs and "DONTs will help school staff limit glamorization of suicide: Do verify the facts, and treat the death as a suicide if (and only if) the death was confirmed to be a suicide. Do acknowledge the suicide as a tragic loss of life. Do provide support for students profoundly affected by the death. Do emphasize that no one is to blame for the suicide. Do consider sending flowers to the family from the school. Do consider establishing up a fund for contributions to a local suicide prevention hotline or crisis center or to a national suicide prevention organization. Do not dismiss school or encourage funeral attendance during school hours. Do not organize school assemblies to honor the deceased student or dedicate the yearbook or yearbook pages, newspaper articles, proms, athletic events, or advertisements to the deceased individual. Do not pay tribute to a suicidal act by planting trees, hanging engraved plaques, or holding other memorial activities.

A suicide in the school community can heighten the likelihood, in the subsequent weeks, of copycat suicide attempts and threats among those especially vulnerable to the effects of a suicide. To prevent further tragedies, students considered to be especially susceptible to depression/suicide must be carefully monitored and appropriate action taken if they are identified as high risk. These efforts require a limited, rather than school wide, response.
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Factors to Consider When Assessing The Impact Of A Suicide On Students


Factor Popularity of student who committed suicide Suicide Impact Issues If the student was well-known in the school, a more significant impact can be expected. Others might see deceased as a role model. The greater the exposure or involvement of students/staff, the greater the impact. If other suicides previously happened in the school, old crisis reactions may be rekindled. If the other crises occurred during the current year, there will be a negative effect on resiliency and may result in a more significant crisis reaction. Fewer personal, family, school, and community resources are likely to result in more significant reactions. If the suicide occurred during a school break, there will be less impact than if it occurs when school is in session. If another family member has attempted or completed a suicide, there is a greater likelihood of a suicidal attempt or suicidal ideation. Students who have suffered other losses (e.g., death of a parent) will need more support as the suicide may cause student to relive the previous event(s). Will need more support if there was a relationship with the deceased student. This will be a significant risk factor, especially if this student has a history of suicidal ideation.

Exposure to or involvement in the suicide

History of similar cases

Recency of other crises

Resources available

Suicide timing

Family history of suicide or other losses

Other deaths or trauma of family or friends

Relationship to person who committed suicide History of depression

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Warning Signs Of Suicide 4


The following list provides some warning signs of suicidal feelings or intent. With the exception of suicidal talk, none of these factors are sure indicators of suicidal feelings. In some cases, students may be experiencing typical adolescent issues, such as identity or wanting to fit in. However, if a student exhibits more than one behavior or if any of these behaviors lasts 4 weeks or more, is intense, and/ frequent, there is cause for concern.

Warning Signs Suicide threats (direct and indirect)

Examples I want to kill myself, Everyone would be better off if I were dead. Obsession with death Talking about death (or afterlife) to the exclusion of daily activities. Poems, essays, drawings that refer to Morbid journal entries, graphic death drawings, pictures of angels, or someone going to heaven. Alienation from friends, social isolation Unwillingness to take phone calls, emails, or IMs (Instant Messages); does not spend time with friends in activities previously enjoyed. Loses interest in appearance Going from neat to sloppy, decreasing attention to hygiene, or becoming withdrawn. Irrational, bizarre behavior Laughing or crying at inappropriate to times, inattention to consequences, or lack of social reciprocity. Loss of interest in hobbies, work, or Stops participating in activities or no school. enjoyment when engaged in an activity that was previously stimulating. Overwhelming sense of guilt, shame, or Self-blame, claiming responsibility for reflection others happiness or well-being, statements about own worthlessness. Changed eating or sleeping patterns Overeating, failure to eat, insomnia, or sleeping all of the time. Severe drop in school performance Previously solid student earning failing grades in most or all classes or incomplete work. Giving away belongings Giving prized possessions to family members or friends, writing a will, or telling others what they will after death. Principals might consider offering a brief workshop for faculty and staff on these warning signs.
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4

Most individuals who attempt to complete suicides have talked about wanting to die and made suicidal threats. In many instances, adults ignore these remarks or minimize them with comments such as You dont mean that or You have so much to live for. Do not ignore these remarks; rather, talk with the student briefly and, if appropriate, refer him or her to the school counselor.

Suicidal Threats
(also see pp. 191;193) The following factors (and steps to follow) are important considerations for dealing with suicidal threats/ideation: Because suicide rarely happens without some warning to someone, staff and faculty need to take all comments about suicidal thoughts seriously, especially if details of a suicide plan are shared. Student provided with continuous supervision; never leave the student alone or unattended. Further, this student must be picked up at school or appropriate arrangements made for transport. Do NOT allow this student to ride the bus home. School administrator notified. Referral to school counselor for risk assessment (see p. 193). Any time the risk of suicide exists, the situation must be managed by an appropriately trained SERT member or other trained personnel such as a school counselor or school psychologist. Under no circumstances should an untrained person attempt to assess the severity of suicidal risk; all assessment of threats, attempts, or other risk factors must be left to the appropriate professionals. When a student is considered to be at risk for suicide, a parent or guardian must be contacted and involved from the onset. Once the appropriate following steps have been performed, a conference should be held between the administrator, school counselor, and parents to discuss the incident. Document the parents acceptance or refusal of an SAP or mobile crisis referral and services from the school counselor. Obtain written consent or refusal using parent conference form (see p. 205). Remind all individuals involved to maintain confidentiality. This incident should not be discussed with other faculty members, staff, or students. Be sure that the person reporting the threat is aware of this requirement. In cases of suicidal risk, the school should maintain a confidential record
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of actions taken (see pp. 177; 191-193; 205 for appropriate checklists). This will help insure that appropriate assessment, monitoring, and support are provided to the designated student and, should she or he commit a suicide later, such records will document the schools efforts to intervene and protect the student. A qualified professional should do any assessment of suicidal risk.

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Suicide Threats: Dos and Donts


(Source: Association of California School Administrators (1995)) When a student tells you that he or she is thinking about suicide or wishes he/she were dead, be sure to do the following: Listen to what the student is saying and take her/his suicidal threat seriously. Many times a student may be looking for help and will need that support. Observe the students nonverbal behavior. In children and adolescents, facial expressions, body language, and other concrete signs often are more telling than what the student says. Acknowledge the pain the student is expressing. Ask whether the student is really thinking about suicide. If the answer is yes, ask how she/he plans to do it and what steps have already been taken. This will convince the student of your attention and let you know how serious the threat is. Get help by contacting an appropriate crisis response team member. Never attempt to handle a potential suicide by yourself. Work with a colleague who is familiar with the student this will make rapport building easier and help establish trust. Obtain emotional support for yourself as well. These circumstances can be quite upsetting. You need not go through this process alone. Stay with the student. Take the student to a crisis response team member and stay with that student for a while. The student has placed trust in you, so you must help transfer that trust to the other person. Remember that a student considering suicide has impaired judgment and may not have the insight to realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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Here are some things NOT to do in this situation: Leave the student alone for even a minute. Act shocked or allow yourself to be sworn to secrecy. Underestimate or brush aside a threat (You wont really do it; youre not the type), or try to shock or challenge the student (Go ahead. Do it.). The student may already feel rejected and unnoticed, and you should not add to that burden. Fail to act or let the student convince you that the crisis is over. The most dangerous time is precisely when the person seems to be feeling better. Sometimes, after a suicide method has been selected, the student may appear happy and relaxed. You should, therefore, stay involved until you get help. Take too much upon yourself. Your responsibility to the student in a crisis is limited to listening, being supportive, and getting her/him to a trained professional. Under no circumstances should you attempt to counsel the student.

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School Counselors Role 5 in the Case of a Suicidal Threat


When a suicide threat has been made, it will be the responsibility of the school counselor to assess the students risk for an attempt. This will require considerable clinical insight and judgment, as there are no sure ways to measure a students willingness or desire to take his/her own life. School counselors have a duty to inform parents/guardians in regard to the possiblity of self-injurious behavior. By using the Suicide Screening Form (see p. 193), the school counselor will be able to gather most of the information necessary to evaluate a students risk. When gathering that data, remember to take these factors into account: Means the method a student would use (e.g., shooting, overdose) Availablity access the student has to the stated means (e.g., guns, medications). Lethality likelihood of success of the suicidal method the student is discussing. Intent how probable or likely it is that the student will follow through on the act.

Remember, students with a definite plan, access to the means chosen, and with strong intent are at a high risk for a suicide attempt. Those with vague or unrealistic ideas are less likely to attempt suicide, but their threats are also serious, and interventions must be provided. Persons considering suicide have typically developed a feeling of hopelessness or despair. Their vision has narrowed, and they can see no options or solutions to the anguish and depression that overwhelms them at this time.

The school psychologist may also perform these tasks. As the school counselor is often more readily available and likely to know and be known by the student, he/she may be the best person to initially work with the student and family.
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Suicide Attempts
When a school becomes aware that a student or staff member attempted suicide, the school must protect that person's right to privacy. Should a parent or other family member notify the school about a student's suicide attempt, the family should be referred to appropriate community agencies for support services. Staff response should be focused on quelling the spread of rumors and minimizing the fears of fellow students and staff. As opposed to convening a SERT meeting and alerting the student body, any services provided to the person who attempted suicide must be kept confidential and coordinated with outside service providers, such as a suicide crisis counselor or hospital emergency team. To do so, obtain the Release of Confidential Information (see p. 213). A suicide attempt becomes a crisis to be managed by school staff only when one or more of the following conditions exist: Rumors and myths are widespread and damaging. Students witness police action or emergency services response. A group of friends of the survivor are profoundly affected by the suicide attempt. When one or more of the above conditions exists, the following should be implemented: Tell the person providing the information about the suicide attempt not to repeat it elsewhere in the school. If school office staff members heard the report, tell them NOT to repeat or give out any information within or outside school unless they are specifically told to do so. School counselor talks to the most profoundly affected friends and determine the type support they need. Provide space in the school for the identified peers to receive support services (see p. 173). Provide necessary passes to release these students from class to receive services (see p. 211).

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Suicide Clusters
The Centers for Disease Control define a suicide cluster as a group of suicides or suicide attempts, or both, that occur closer together in time and space than would normally be expected in a given community. Many think that clusters occur through a process of contagion in which suicides that occur later in the cluster were influenced by the earlier suicides. Some groups of suicides may occur at approximately the same time simply by chance. However, even these pseudoclusters can create a crisis atmosphere in the communities in which they occur and cause intense concern on the part of parents, students, school officials and others.

School Strategies for Preventing "Contagion" After a Suicide


Pay close attention to those most affected by the suicide: those closest to the victim or who may have witnessed the suicide scene, students at high risk, and those who have been suicidal in the past. Offer additional supportive services and provide opportunities for those affected to talk. Make sure everyone is alert to any talk of suicide and takes any threat seriously. Make sure all staff members know who to immediately contact if they become aware of a risk of suicide. Students should be encouraged to tell any adult in the school if they are concerned about another student. Track and make contact on a daily basis with students at risk.

Media Coverage and Suicide "Contagion"


Media coverage of suicides has been demonstrated to contribute to suicide "contagion." The American Association of Suicidology (AAS) has prepared guidelines for media in their coverage of suicide; these guidelines have been endorsed by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). (These guidelines may be accessed at www.suicidology.org/mediaguidelines.htm).

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Aspects of news coverage that can promote suicide contagion include the following: Presenting simplistic explanations for suicide. Engaging in repetitive, ongoing, or excessive reporting of suicide in the news. Providing sensational coverage of suicide. Reporting "how-to" description of suicide. Presenting suicide as a tool for accomplishing certain ends. Glorifying suicide or persons who commit suicide. Focusing on the suicide completers positive characteristics.

School Reentry for a Student Who Has Attempted Suicide


Efforts to respond to suicide attempts and other traumas should be focused on making the student's return to school a comfortable one. Because families exposed to a suicide attempt experience considerable guilt and fear, they are more likely to disclose that a daughter or son has made an attempt if they know the school has a helpful, non-threatening manner of dealing with suicide. Because a student who attempted suicide often is at greater risk for a suicide in the months following the crisis, it is extremely important to closely monitor his or her reentry into school and to maintain close contact with parents and mental health professionals working with that student. Assuming the student will be absent from one to four weeks after a suicide attempt and possibly hospitalized in a treatment facility, schools should complete the Reentry Checklist for Student who Attempted Suicide (see p. 199).

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Lesson Plan

Suicide: A Guide to Prevention


Grades: Objectives: 7-12 TSW identify the warning signs of suicide and discuss information that will help in assisting a friend at risk of committing suicide. None TCW present the warning signs of suicide and lead a discussion of the material. TSW role-play appropriate ways to communicate with a fellow teen in need. Role play

Materials: Procedure:

Assessment:

Suicide is now the second leading cause of death in adolescents. The following information may help adolescents identify the warning signs and advise them on how to effectively communicate with a fellow teen in need. What to Do Listen and Act. Try to find a time and place to talk where you wont be interrupted. State what youve observed specific things he/she has said and done that have led you to be concerned. Encourage him/her to talk about what he/she is going through. Listen with your full attention and take what he/she says seriously, even it doesnt sound serious to you. Warning Sign Past suicide attempts or inflicting harm on oneself. What to Do Directly ask if he/she is thinking about hurting or killing himself/herself. Get him/her to choose the adult he/she would like to talk with, give him/her some ideas, and ask him/her to choose among them. Give consistent, firm support. Offer to set up appointments and go with him/her.

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Lesson Plan: Suicide (continued) Warning Sign Giving away prized possessions. Having a suicide plan and the means to do it. What to Do If the person has plan and the means to carry it out, the risk is high and immediate. Do not leave him/her alone. Involve the nearest adult, in person or by phone, even if your friend is refusing to accept help. What Not to Say Do not minimize the seriousness of the problem: Come on, its really not that bad. Do not dismiss his/her feelings by insisting everything will be all right: In a couple of days, everything will be okay. Do not tell lies to cheer him/her up: She broke up with you, but tomorrow shell want you back. Do not try to humor him out of it: Youre so serious lately, lighten up! Do not insist he/she will get over this: Youll get through this, you always do. Do not try to guilt him/her out of feeling suicidal: Just think of how everybody will feel if you kill yourself. Do not give him/her advice or offer solutions. What you really ought to do is Do not order him/her to talk to the adult you think is best: Youve got to talk to Dr. Bryan right away. Do not promise to keep it a secret. GET ADULT HELP IMMEDIATELY! Warning Sign Combining suicidal expressions with drugs and/or alcohol increasing the risk. What to Do Dont assume theyll get over it when the drugs or alcohol wear off they may not make it that far. If theres any question, treat it as a crisis. Never promise to keep it a secret. Express your concern about his/her safety and that risking his/her safety is not an option. Involve any adult present, or call the crisis line, the police, or emergency medical services.

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Lesson Plan: Suicide (continued) Deal with any repercussions later whatever they may be. They are less serious than someone losing their life. Time is of the essence, and you are a critical link to getting help. Let him/her know you are worried. Warning Sign A sudden or significant change in behavior or attitude. Any serious loss, such as the death of a close friend or family member. What to Do Let he/she know youre worried and that youre there for him/her. Encourage him/her to talk with an adult he/she trusts. REMEMBER, ALWAYS TELL AN ADULT.

Adapted from video funded by Vermont Agency of Human Services Children and Family Council for Prevention Programs

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Threat Assessment

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Threat Assessment6
A threat is an expression of intent to do harm or act out violently against someone or something. A threat can be spoken, written, or symbolic (e.g., pretending to shoot another person). Threat assessment rests on two critical principles: first, that all threats and all threateners are not equal; second, that most threateners are unlikely to carry out their threat. However, all threats must be taken seriously and evaluated.

Types of Threats
Threats can be classed in four categories: direct, indirect, veiled, or conditional. A direct threat identifies a specific act against a specific target and is delivered in a straightforward, clear, and explicit manner: "I am going to place a bomb in the school gym." An indirect threat tends to be vague, unclear, and ambiguous. The plan, the intended victim, the motivation, and other aspects of the threat are masked or equivocal: "If I wanted to, I could kill everyone at this school!" While violence is implied, the threat is phrased tentatively -- "If I wanted to" and suggests that a violent act could occur, not that it will occur. A veiled threat is one that strongly implies but does not explicitly threaten violence. "We would be better off without you around anymore" clearly hints at a possible violent act, but leaves it to the potential victim to interpret the message and give a definite meaning to the threat. A conditional threat is the type of threat often seen in extortion cases. It warns that a violent act will happen unless certain demands or terms are met: "If you do not pay me one million dollars, I will place a bomb in the school."

Factors in Threat Assessment


Specific, plausible details are a critical factor in evaluating a threat. Details can include the identity of the victim or victims; the reason for making the threat; the means, weapon, and method by which it is to be carried out; the date, time, and place where the threatened act will occur; and concrete information about plans or preparations that have already been made. Specific details can indicate There is an extensive section on threats and threat assessment in the CEMR/SCS. A careful read of that information will provide a good foundation for dealing with these issues.
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6

that substantial thought, planning, and preparatory steps have already been taken, suggesting a higher risk that the threatener will follow through on his threat. The emotional content of a threat can be an important clue to the threatener's mental state. Remember, though, that emotional outbursts may sound frightening, but no correlation has been established between the emotional intensity in a threat and the risk that it will be carried out. Precipitating stressors are incidents, circumstances, reactions, or situations that can trigger a threat. The precipitating event may seem insignificant and have no direct relevance to the threat, but nonetheless becomes a catalyst. The impact of a precipitating event will obviously depend on "pre-disposing factors, i.e., underlying personality traits, characteristics, and temperament that predispose an adolescent to fantasize about violence or act violently.

Early Warning Signs


It is not always possible to predict behavior that will lead to violence. However, educators and parents sometimes students can recognize certain early warning signs. In some situations and for some youth, different combinations of events, behaviors, and emotions may lead to aggressive rage or violent behavior toward self or others. A good rule of thumb is to assume that these warning signs, especially when they are presented in combination, indicate a need for further analysis to determine an appropriate intervention. The following early warning signs are presented with the following qualifications: They are not equally significant and they are not presented in order of seriousness. The early warning signs include: Social withdrawal. In some situations, gradual and eventually complete withdrawal from social contacts can be an important indicator of a troubled child. The withdrawal often stems from feelings of depression, rejection, persecution, unworthiness, and lack of confidence. Excessive feelings of isolation and being alone. Research has shown that the majority of children who are isolated and appear to be friendless are not violent. In fact, these feelings are sometimes characteristic of children and youth who may be troubled, withdrawn, or have internal issues that hinder development of social affiliations. However, research also has shown that in some cases feelings of isolation and not having friends are associated with children who behave aggressively and violently. Excessive feelings of rejection. In the process of growing up, and in the
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course of adolescent development, many young people experience emotionally painful rejection. Children who are troubled are often isolated from their mentally healthy peers. Their responses to rejection will depend on many background factors. Without support, they may be at risk of expressing their emotional distress in negative ways including violence. Some aggressive children who are rejected by non-aggressive peers seek out aggressive friends who, in turn, reinforce their violent tendencies. Being a victim of violence. Children who are victims of violence, including physical or sexual abuse, in the community, at school, or at home are sometimes at risk themselves of becoming violent toward themselves or others. Feelings of being picked on and persecuted. The youth who feels constantly picked on, teased, bullied, singled out for ridicule, and humiliated at home or at school may initially withdraw socially. If not given adequate support in addressing these feelings, some children may vent them in inappropriate ways, including possible aggression or violence. Low school interest and/or poor academic performance. Poor school achievement can be the result of many factors, such as ADHD or conduct disorders. It is important to consider whether there is a drastic change in performance and/or poor performance becomes a chronic condition that limits the child's capacity to learn. In some situations, such as when the low achiever feels frustrated, unworthy, chastised, and denigrated, acting out and aggressive behaviors may occur. It is important to assess the emotional and cognitive reasons for the academic performance change to determine the true nature of the problem. Expression of violence in writings and drawings. Children and youth often express their thoughts, feelings, desires, and intentions in their drawings and in stories, poetry, and other written expressive forms. Many children produce work about violent themes that for the most part is harmless when taken in context. However, an overrepresentation of violence in writings and drawings that is directed at specific individuals (family members, peers, other adults) consistently over time, may signal emotional problems and the potential for violence. Since there is a real danger in misdiagnosing such a sign, it is important to seek the guidance of a qualified professional, such as a school psychologist or school counselor, to determine its meaning. Uncontrolled anger/low frustration tolerance. Everyone gets angry; anger is a natural emotion. However, anger that is expressed frequently and intensely in response to minor irritants may signal potential violent behavior toward self or others.

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Patterns of impulsive and chronic hitting, intimidating, and bullying behaviors. Children often engage in acts of shoving and mild aggression. However, some mildly aggressive behaviors such as constant hitting and bullying of others that occur early in children's lives, if left unattended, might later escalate into more serious behaviors. History of discipline problems. Chronic behavior and disciplinary problems both in school and at home may suggest that underlying emotional needs are not being met. These unmet needs may be manifested in acting out and aggressive behaviors. Past history of violent and aggressive behavior. Unless provided with support and counseling, a youth who has a history of aggressive or violent behavior is likely to repeat those behaviors. Aggressive and violent acts may be directed toward other individuals, be expressed in cruelty to animals, or include fire setting. Research suggests that age of onset may be a key factor in interpreting early warning signs. For example, children who engage in aggression and drug abuse at an early age (before age 12) are more likely to show violence later on than are children who begin such behavior at an older age. In the presence of such signs it is important to review the child's history with behavioral experts and seek parents' observations and insights. Intolerance for differences and prejudicial attitudes. All students have likes and dislikes. However, an intense prejudice toward others based on racial, ethnic, religious, language, gender, sexual orientation, ability, and physical appearance when coupled with other factors may lead to violent assaults against those who are perceived to be different. Drug and/or alcohol use. Apart from being unhealthy behaviors, drug and/or alcohol use reduces self-control and exposes children and youth to violence, either as perpetrators, as victims, or both. Affiliation with gangs. Gangs that support antisocial values and behaviors, including extortion, intimidation, and acts of violence toward other students, cause fear and stress among other students. Inappropriate access to, possession of, and use of firearms. Students who inappropriately possess or have access to firearms can have an increased risk for violence. Research shows that such youngsters also have a higher probability of becoming victims. Serious threats of violence. Idle threats are a common response to frustration. Alternatively, one of the most reliable indicators that a student is likely to commit
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a dangerous act toward self/others is a detailed, specific threat to use violence.

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Levels of Risk
Low Level Threat: A threat that poses a minimal risk to the victim and public safety. Threat is vague and indirect. Information contained within the threat is inconsistent, implausible or lacks detail. Threat lacks realism. Content of the threat suggests person is unlikely to carry it out. Medium Level Threat: A threat that could be carried out, although it may not appear entirely realistic. Threat is more direct and more concrete. Wording in the threat suggests that the threatener has given some thought to how the act will be carried out. There may be a general indication of a possible place and time (though these signs still fall well short of a detailed plan). There is no strong indication that the threatener has taken preparatory steps, although there may be some veiled reference or ambiguous or inconclusive evidence pointing to that possibility -- an allusion to a book or movie that shows the planning of a violent act, or a vague, general statement about the availability of weapons. There may be a specific statement seeking to convey that the threat is not empty: "I'm serious!" or "I really mean this!" High Level Threat: A threat that appears to pose an imminent and serious danger to the safety of others. Threat is direct, specific, and plausible. Threat suggests concrete steps have been taken toward carrying it out, for example, statements indicating that the threatener has acquired or practiced with a weapon or has had the victim under surveillance. The National Center for Analysis of Violent Crimes (NCAVC) experience in analyzing a wide range of threatening communications suggests that in general, the more direct and detailed a threat is, the more serious the risk of its being acted on. A threat that is assessed as high level will almost always require immediate law enforcement intervention. In some cases, the distinction between the levels of threat may not be as obvious, and there will be overlap between the categories. Generally, obtaining additional information about, either the threat or the threatener will help in clarifying any confusion. What is important is that schools be able to recognize and act on the most serious threats, and then address all other threats appropriately and in a standardized and timely fashion.

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Revised 6/18/02

Student with a "Hit List"

OR

Student makes a "Threat"

Talk with the student

Call Pupil Services (321-2560) or Administrative Services (321-2575)

Call in the student's parents

Possible Options

Short term suspension pending investigation


Long term Suspension Referred to Alternative School

Option A/C plus Emergency SAP

Contact Law Enforcement

Hearing/Conference

Readmission based on findings

*Emergency SAP that it's an emergency *Emergency SAP: Call 763-4357 and state After hours , callthat 377-4733 Call 763-4357 and state it's an emergency *Mobile Crisis : Call 577-9400 After hours 377-4733

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Activities for Counselors & Classroom Teachers

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Support Group Sessions


The school-based school counselor may provide on-going small groups for students who have experienced and been deeply affected by a common loss. Here are a few ideas that may be adapted to fit the need of the group.

Initial Group Meeting:


Review the facts of the incident. Allow students to share their connection to the deceased. Ask what it was like for them when they first heard the news. Validate their feelings. They need to understand their feelings are normal. Share your own reactions. Offer support. Have students tell who else can give them support. Offer statements students can use when they see the bereaved family. (see pp. 65; 69). Listen.

Ideas for Additional Sessions:


Make cards for the family. (Counselor will proofread and approve before giving to the family). Ask: If this was someone in your family, what would you like for others to do for you? Read stories to the group to provide a springboard for discussion. (see Booklist, pp. 229-232) Have the group decorate a memory box. o TSW decorate the box. o TSW draw a picture, create from clay, write a poem, or bring an item that provides a special memory of the deceased to put in the box. o TSW decide to keep or share the box with the family. TSW create a visual diary. o TSW bring small pictures, items to create a picture. TSW glue these on Styrofoam containers or construction paper. o TSW share with the group. TSW journal. TSW write about how they felt when the death first occurred and how they feel now. TCW discuss how feeling better does not lesson feelings one has for the deceased. Continue to offer support.

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Lesson Plan: Support Group (a six-week plan)


Standard: Personal/Social Development Standard 1: The students will acquire the attitudes, knowledge, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. 2-5 Objective: TSW identify the person/thing that they have lost and get to know the members and rules of the group. Materials: Paper, pencils, markers, crayons, and ball. Procedures: The counselor will welcome the students to the group, explaining the purpose and rules of the group. Inform the students that they will be creating a memory book in honor of their special person. They may bring a picture to add to the cover. TSW pass a ball around as they introduce themselves. TSW draw a picture of the person or thing that they have lost and share a feeling word about it. Session 2: Objective: TSW identify what death means to them. Materials: Book: When Dinosaurs Die by Marc & Laurie Brown Procedures: The Counselor will read When Dinosaurs Die to the group. TSW discuss different aspects of the book that they like or dislike. Session 3: Objective: TSW identify aspects of their special person that made them special. Materials: Paper, pencils, crayons/markers Procedure: The counselor will share some ways that each of the group members is special. TSW write down special things (i.e., personality, physical traits, values, etc) they remember about the person/thing that they lost. They may share them with the group. The counselor will remind the students that each page they make will go in their memory book.

Grades: Session 1:

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Session 4:

Objective: TSW identify their best memory of their special person. Materials: Paper, pencils, crayons and markers. Procedures: TSW will finish the sentence, My favorite memory was when TSW illustrate their favorite memory of their special person. They are encouraged to share with the group.

Session 5:

Objective: TSW design a poem/song/letter to remember their special person or thing. Materials: Paper Pencils, crayons/markers Procedures: TSW write a short poem, song or letter to add to their memory book. They may add designs to it.

Session 6:

Objective: TSW create their memory book and review what they have learned. Materials: Paper, pencils, crayons, markers, stapler or yarn. Procedure: TSW design a cover page for their memory book including a picture and illustrating the special persons favorite things (i.e. colors, hobbies, foods, etc.) TSW put their memory book together and share their favorite parts with the other group members. TSW share what they learned from the group and things they can do when the may feel sad.

Evaluation: TSW complete a list of how their likes and dislikes about the group as well as what they learned.
Created by Ashley Wheeler

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Classroom Discussion Following the Death of a Student or Staff Member


Prior to meeting with the class, meet with the administration and/or District Crisis Team to assess the circumstances of the situation and determine the appropriate approach to take. Open the classroom discussion with a simple comment: Class we had some very tragic news last night Review the facts of the situation. Dispel rumors. Share your own reaction. I was saddened by the news. What was it like for you when you first heard the news? I can tell you are shocked about what happened. Its okay to cry. Ive been crying, too. Encourage the students to share their reaction. Listen to what the students say and respond reflectively to their feelings.

Reassure the students that support is available from teachers, administrators, school psychologists, and school counselors. Encourage them to talk to someone at school or at home. Provide Brochure, Helping a Grieving Friend. (see pp. 65; 223-225). Discuss how to help one another. Talk to the students about what they can say to the bereaved family when they see them (see p. 69). Have the students come up with things they would like to do for the family. Ask, If this happened to someone in your family, what would you want others to do for you?

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Student or Classroom Activities


Elementary School
Draw a picture that represents feelings or memories (e.g., if sadness were an animal, what would it look like). Make a card. Role-play. Read a story. Discuss feelings. Run around playground. Dance. Create artwork (e.g., finger paint, use clay or play dough). Speak into a tape recorder; yell, sing. Build something (blocks, Legos).

Middle School
Draw a picture. Create a card. Write a story about the victim. Write a poem. Write in a journal. Talk to friends. Listen to music. Make a card or condolence letter. Read and discuss books about other peoples losses (see Booklist for Students, pp. 229-232). Discuss feelings.

High School
Keep a journal of events and their reactions. Discuss the stages of grief. Discuss ways to cope with traumatic situations. Encourage mutual support. Write a reaction paper. Write stories about the victim(s). Read books about loss (see Booklist for Students, pp. 229-232). Write where was I when it happened report. Investigate laws governing similar incidents. Conduct a mock trial if laws were broken. Problem solving strategies. Exercise. Listen to music. Wall of remembrance made on paper that can be rolled up and given to the family.
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Quotes
Quotes that may spur valuable discussion or provide a good topic for written work. "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." -Albert Pike "One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic." -Josef Stalin "The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind." -John Allston "He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times." -Johann von Schiller "When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." -Richard Buckminster Fuller "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -Theodore Rubin "The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it." -Alan Saporta "Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again." -Willa Cather, My Antonia "We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory." -Georges Duhamel, The Heart's Domain "I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is." -Vladimir Nabokov, Strong Opinions

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"A great memory is never made synonymous with wisdom, any more than a dictionary would be called a treatise." -John Henry Cardinal Newman, Oxford University Sermons "Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway." -Mary Kay Ash "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -Dale Carnegie "If you have a lemon, make lemonade." -Anonymous "Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times." -Anonymous "Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." -Robert Anthony "...happiness is the highest good, being a realization and perfect practice of virtue, which some can attain, while others have little or none of it..." -Aristotle "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr. "The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -Allan K. Chalmers "Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." -Benjamin Disraeli "The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -Ben Franklin "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." -Burton Hills

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When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Helen Keller "I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive." -Henry Miller "Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." -Mark Twain A gem is not polished without friction, nor a person perfected without trials. -Chinese Proverb "Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you." -Aldous Huxley " When unhappy, one doubts everything; when happy, one doubts nothing." -Joseph Roux, "A will finds a way." -Orison Swett Marden "Every exit is an entry somewhere." -Tom Stoppard "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." -Ziggy "When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -Sydney Harris "Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours." -Swedish Proverb

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"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." -Anonymous "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't." -Richard Bach "The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." -Joan Borysenko "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." -John Burroughs "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." -Robert Byrne "All life is an experiment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "It is not length of life, but depth of life." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." -Harvey Fierstein "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost "It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts." -Millard Fuller "Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -Mahatma Gandhi

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"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." -Oliver Wendell Holmes "The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it." -William James "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." -William James "This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it." -William James "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." -W. M. Lewis "Everything has been figured out, except how to live." -Jean-Paul Sartre "Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be." -Jeremy Schwartz "Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." -Socrates For some life lasts a short while, but the memories it holds last forever. -Laura Swenson "May you live every day of your life." -Jonathan Swift

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Lesson Plan: Classroom Feelings Collage In Our Own Words Grades: K-2 Objectives: Students will create a mural that expresses their feelings. Different color construction paper (one per student), markers, crayons, hole punch, pieces of string cut about 4 inches long.

Materials:

Procedure: The collage will help students revisit and express their feelings. Have students create a picture on their sheet of paper (e.g., If sadness were an animal, what would it look like?). Connect the pictures by placing two holes on all four sides and use the string to attach the pictures around all four sides. Size varies according to the number of students. Assessment: Completed picture that describes a students feelings.

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Lesson Plan: Write a letter to Emergency Personnel in the Community Grades: 1-12 Objectives: The students will write thoughtful letters; the students will use the friendly letter form; the students will spell accurately and write neatly. Pencils or pens, paper, and friendly letter format (see p. 126).

Materials:

Procedure: Using the friendly letter format, write letters to local fire, police, emergency service personnel or anyone involved who has provided assistance. In the letters students can show their appreciation to people who work hard to make their community a safe place Students can thank people for the sacrifices they make or are making. Copies of the letters can be displayed on a bulletin board or delivered. Assessment: Encourage students to express their thoughts and feelings. They should use their best spelling and handwriting.

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Friendly Letter Format


_______________________
Street Address (Number and Street)

_______________________ Heading Greeting


City State Zip

_______________________
Date

Dear Recipient, By the arrangement of the parts of this letter, you probably already Body know that it is a friendly letter. Some letter parts are shared in common between both business and friendly letters, but they are used for different purposes. Friendly letters are much less formal, and are not used for official purposes. The language of a friendly letter is much more casual, and the audience is usually a friend, or family member. Your friend, Closing

A. Writer

Signature

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Lesson Plan: Personal Coat of Arms Grades: 1-4 Objective: The students will feel good about themselves and their accomplishments. Materials: Coat of Arms printout (see p. 129), crayons, and markers. Procedure: Have the students place their first and last name, in the box, at the top of the Coat of Arms printout. Instruct the students to draw pictures describing themselves in each of the sections of the Coat of Arms (hobbies, family, home, accomplishments, etc.). Instruct the students to think of goals they have for themselves. Share with the class. Assessment: Completed picture.

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Lesson Plan: How Do You Feel? Grade: K-2 Objective: The student will express their feelings through artwork and making up a puppet story. Materials: Two copies of the blank teddy bear face (see p. 133), straws, stapler/tape, markers, crayons, chart showing the expressions of different feeling faces (optional). Procedure: Inform students that people often have different feelings and can have even more than one at a time. Create a list on the board by asking the student(s) all of the feelings they have had in the last 24 hours, 2 days or week. Show the student(s) the chart or poster of feeling faces. Draw the face of the teddy bear to show one feeling. Draw the other face of the teddy bear to show a different feeling. Cut out the picture, tape or staple the two sides together and then staple the teddy bear face to a straw creating a puppet with one feeling on one side and another feeling on the other side. Have the student(s) make up a story about a teddy bear who has different feelings, just the way people do. Have the student(s) describe how the teddy bear feels after learning his friend or teacher has died. Assessment: Student was able to express their feelings by telling a story with the teddy bear puppet.

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Lesson Plan: Poetic Expressions Grades: 2-12 Objective: TSW create a cinquain to express their feelings about their grief. Paper, pencil, pens and markers

Materials: Procedure:

TCW explain that a cinquain is a form of poetry using a


recipe. The poem consists of five lines. Line 1: one word to name the subject. Line 2: two words to describe it. Line 3: three action words about it. Line 4: a four or five word phrase describing the subject (a thought, not a complete sentence). Line 5: one word that means the same thing as the first word, or a word that sums it all up. TSW create a cinquain and illustrate it. Example: Shelley Friendly, Vivacious Listening, Caring, Smiling Always There for Me Forever Assessment: The poetic expressions of their friend validate their feelings.

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Lesson Plan: Ten Good Things Grades: K-3

Objective: TSW brainstorm positive memories about their friend. Materials: Book: The Tenth Good Thing about Barney by Judith Viorst Chart paper and markers Procedure: TCW lead a discussion validating the feelings of love and sadness after the loss that has been recently experienced. TCW read the book, The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. TSW brainstorm good things about their friend and come to the front to write and illustrate them on the chart paper. The class may decide to make a class booklet to give to the family. (Ex: The 24 Great Things about My Friend) by drawing the pictures individually and writing a sentence about their friend. The students will feel good about the nice things they have thought of to share with the family. Assessment: The positive feelings expressed about their friend will show that they are refocusing their grief.

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Parents

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What Parents Can Do


Possible Reactions
These are some reactions common to many students; what you see, though, will depend on your individual students personality, experiences, and needs.

Shock or numbness Anger or guilt Sleeping problems Withdrawal from activities and friends Sadness Poor concentration, intrusive thoughts (I cant quit thinking about it) Unwarranted fears/worries Regressive behaviors School avoidance or desire to remain at school Repetitive thoughts and comments about death and dying Loss of appetite Complaints Easily emotional Fear of another incident occurring Downward change in grades/conduct

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How Parents Can Help Children Cope


Provide a Loving, Caring Environment Remain calm. Reassure them that they are safe. Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge and want to help. Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games. Give lots of hugs and support. Avoid unnecessary separations from important caregivers. Listen and respond reflectively. Be Honest Stick to the facts. Give age appropriate explanations to the child. Keep children informed and up to date. Use the words dead, deceased or dying and avoid euphemisms (e.g., resting, gone away). Be Open Do not be surprised by shocking or surprising questions, reactions or behavior. Repeat explanations. Accept short conversations. Expect children to show their grief differently than adults. Accept play as a diversion. Be available. Listen. Help Children Grieve Encourage them to express feelings through talk, play, stories, journaling and art. Offer them a chance to participate in goodbye rituals (visitation, funeral). Talk about the deceased and share memories and keepsakes. Help Them Recover Work for continuity and maintain routines. Avoid unnecessary separations. Encourage them to talk about all of the feelings they have. Talk about their worries and anxieties. Reassure them when needed. Continue to listen.

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Encourage Caring for Others Let your child make cards for the family. Role play what to say to the friend or family. Think of additional ways to support the bereaved. Seek Additional Support Dont be afraid to take up offers for help from others. The school offers the assistance of counselors and psychologists who are ready to help. Consult them if your child continues to experience difficulty. Take Care of Yourself Try to relax and get plenty of rest. Eat properly. Discuss your own feelings with trusted friends without children present. Continue with your own routines. Know that is okay to appropriately express emotions in front of your children. You are a role model for your children the better you handle the situation, the more effectively you can help your child.

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Forms

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


Discuss the following with the administrator:
Convening the SERT. Has death been verified? By home? When? What are the facts? In case of reporting a student death, the local school administrator, School Resource Officer (SRO), or central office personnel will confirm the information as soon as possible. Keep in mind that this information is confidential and will not be immediately accessible. Do not call the affected students family to verify this information; if an error has been made, they could become unecessarily upset or stressed. If facts are not verified: tell person providing informaiton not to repeat it elsewhere. Ensure that office staff members have been told not to repeat or give out any information within or outside school until specifically instructed to do so. Have them direct all questions to the administrator/designee until told otherwise. The timing of the notification of a crisis may alter the order of the initial steps taken. For example, if the school is notified in the morning, the administrator decides when to notify the students. In some cases it may be best to wait and tell the students the next morning, instead of tell the students and then dismissing them.

If the decision is to wait until the next day, the faculty should be told after dismissal. If notification is received at night or on the weekend, ask the person providing the information not to spread the information further until the situation is verified.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Consultation with the Director of Public Relations-321-2502. Consultation about if a crisis team is needed, how many members should be on the team, and whether the administrator has any preferences regarding team members.

Provide a sign-in/out sheet for DCT (see p. 183). Notification and involvement of the on-site School Counselor. Decide if and when an emergency faculty meeting should be scheduled (see p. 22). Decide who tells the students classroom teacher(s). Decide how to notify the faculty and staff. Is there a telephone tree? Decide if there is time for the classroom teacher(s) to call parents of the students in the class. Create a memo for the faculty about situation (see pp. 81-83). Create a brief statement to be read to selected rooms about the incident (see pp. 82-83). Note: This should never be done by way of the Public Address (PA) system. Decide about the school sending flowers instead of students collecting up money. Decide about composing a letter to the parents (see pp. 75-80). Decide how to inform students about the arrangements. Decide about check out procedures to attend funeral and how to inform parents of the procedures. Decide the role of clergy and other community agencies in the crisis intervention.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Consult (with or without input from the school counselor and SERT) about what to do when the students arrive. Discuss the possibility of a room for concerned parents. Consult about press procedures. Normally, the press is not permitted in the school or on the school property. The press will want a statement. This may come from the administrator, Director of Public Relations, or the DCT Coordinator. This statement may be scheduled at a certain time or just before school starts or after school has closed for the day (see pp. 29-30). A decision may be made to answer questions from the press, off the school property. Many times the press will leave as soon as they get a statement or have questions answered.

Obtain the following: List of faculty/staff and room assignments. Schedule of the students classes. Names of teachers who taught the student. Identify students, staff, and parents likely to be most affected by the news (e.g., due to their relationship to the deceased/injured, recent or anticipated family losses, personal history with similar crisis, recent confrontations with the affected student). These persons are targeted for additional support (p. 179).

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Names of friends and their schedules. Map of the school. List of any special clubs/organizations affiliated with the student. Details regarding other tragedies or deaths (if any) that have occurred recently to members of the school family. Any other special circumstances DCT might need to know. Any siblings at the school or other schools. Locker number. Bus route.

Discuss consulting with the Director of Transportation (321-2282) about the incident if the student is a bus rider. Discuss consulting with the Director of Food Services (321-2588) about the incident. Discuss consulting with Plant Manager and Cafeteria Manager. Discuss the location of the counseling room(s). Discuss items needed in the counseling room (see p. 173). Discuss talking with the teacher of the student who died; assess the condition of the teacher.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Discuss officially withdrawing the deceased student from the school attendance rolls, SASSC, MacSchool, or any other new record keeping system. Remove students name from all rolls, including special classes and study hall. Discuss at emergency faculty meeting (see p. 22). Discuss School Office Staff Checklist (see p. 171). Discuss interventions in the classroom of the deceased student prior to students arrival. This should be done with the classroom teachers assistance, if possible. Rearrange the room. Remove the extra chair/desk. Remove the students personal effects/books and put them in the office or other designated location. Remove material in the locker. Scan the room. Remove the students name/picture from any posters/charts in the room. Remove the students papers from stacks that have been graded or will be graded. Make a notation in the grade book concerning the student. Note: Do NOT cross out the students name in front of other students.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Discuss procedures for when the students arrive in class. The teacher needs to be in control of his/her emotions, as much as possible. If this is not possible, another professional should be in the classroom (administrator, counselor, DCT member, etc.). Teachers should be honest yet not give unnecessary information or gory details. One question the students will ask is Why? and the answer is I dont know why. Upon reading the statement to the class, an additional professional might need to be in the room for added support.

Activities for the students (also see pp. 111-136). Review and distribute guidelines to help teachers with classroom discussion during the emergency faculty meeting. Allow the students to briefly talk about the incident. Encourage the students to talk about the fun times they had with the student. Write a letter to the parents. Make sympathy cards.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Make sympathy poster. Make a wall of remembrance using bulletin board paper; ask students to write memories on the paper, and this will be rolled up and given to the family. All school personnel and students should make an effort to get back to a regular routine as soon as possible.

Discuss who should talk with the clergy and any other community agencies that will provide services in the school. In most cases the DCT coordinator can take care of this. The administrator makes this decision. Discuss the role of these outside groups in the school and be specific about Dos & Donts.

Remind administration, faculty, and staff that all cards, letters, and posters must be read by the crisis team prior to giving them. Discuss the role of the DCT. Address any concerns/questions. Provide grief support for students in designated building areas (counseling areas). Try to have more than one area available for this purpose, if possible. School counselors and school psychologists will on duty in these areas at all times.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) School counselors and school psychologists keep lists of students seen. School counselors and school psychologists contact parents/guardians of students who are having a difficult time. Provide for a stand-in for any substitute teacher in the building or for any staff member unable or unwilling to deal with the reading the statement and subsequent discussion. A school counselor, school psychologist, or social worker will follow a deceased students class schedule for the remainder of the day to determine whether a teacher or other students need additional support. Work in large groups, small groups, and with individuals.

Work with parents. Provide an evening workshop for parents. Assist with the reading of the statement. Substitute for teachers who are unable to get immediate control of their emotions. Offer breaks for teachers.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Substitute for teachers when teachers are needed for an IEP meeting. Assist with arrival and dismissal. Document on the Client Contact Log (see p. 177). Consult with the local school counselor. Call absentees. Talk with other teachers/staff and assess their emotional status. Assist with teachers who are directly and indirectly involved with the crisis. Assist the administrators in the decision-making process.

Attempt to talk to the students in as small a number as possible. Inform the administration of students who need to go home. Work with any faculty or staff members who may be uncontrollably upset. Work with parents who are uncontrollably upset. Document the names of students who are extremely upset. Be prepared to follow-up with these students.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Coordinator Checklist


(continued) Provide support to faculty and other staff members in the lounge. Provide private support to individual staff members previously identified. Post EAP information (458-0966) for faculty and staff.

Review the stage of grief as preparation for question. Encourage everyone to return to their regular routine as soon as possible. Provide information for SAP referrals (763-4357) and Mobile Crisis (577-9400).

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Members Checklist


Work in large groups, small groups, and with individuals. Work with parents. Provide an evening workshop for parents. Assist with the reading of the statement. Substitute for teachers who are unable to get immediate control of their emotions. Offer breaks for teachers. Substitute for teachers when teachers are needed for an IEP meeting. Assist with arrival and dismissal. Document on the Client Contact Log (see p. 177). Consult with the local school counselor. Call absentees. Talk with other teachers/staff and assess their emotional status. Assist with teachers who are directly and indirectly involved with the crisis. Assist the administrators in the decision-making process. Attempt to talk to the students in as small a number as possible. Inform the administration of students who need to go home.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Members Checklist (continued)


Work with any faculty or staff members who may be uncontrollably upset. Work with parents who are uncontrollably upset. Document the names of students who are extremely upset. Be prepared to follow-up with these students. Provide support to faculty and other staff members in the lounge. Provide private support to individual staff members previously identified. Post EAP information (458-0966) for faculty and staff. Review the stage of grief as preparation for question. Encourage everyone to return to their regular routine as soon as possible. Provide information for SAP referrals (763-4357) and Mobile Crisis (577-9400).

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

School Office Staff Checklist


Provide parents and other callers with only the information contained in the statement written by the administrator. Discourage rumors and speculation. If asked about information you do not have, tell the parent/community member that you will take a message for the principal or designee. Refer all calls from the media to the Director of Public Relations (3212502). Do not provide any specific information or encourage them to come to the school. Checking in and out procedures may be different during this time period. Work with the administrator to ensure student safety and compliance with SCS policy. Assist administrators and other personnel in maintaining an atmosphere of normalcy and professionalism. This will reassure parents and students. Keep administrators informed about particular students or families who are having difficulty and about any conflicts that arise during the day. Let them know about rumors that are spreading so they can correct errors. Assist crisis team members in signing in/out, getting maps, finding rest rooms, and so forth.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Counseling Area Checklist


(School Counselors & School Psychologists) DCT Coordinator will assign certain members of DCT to specific roles (see p. 175). Have the following materials available: stapler, pens, tables, chairs, tissues, water, books, CD player, paper, markers, crayons, paper bags, hall passes, name tags for staff members, stuffed animals (cozy things), student sign-in/sign-out sheet, fact sheet with information about tragedy, client contact sheets, and Taking Care of You Handouts (see p. 63). All students must sign in (see p. 181). Ensure that student(s) have appropriate hall passes. Maintain a Client Contact Log for students seen in the counseling area (see p. 177); if student is only present for a brief time and has no individual needs, a Client Contact Form may not be needed. Document individual student needs for follow-up and/or outside services. Identify students who are severely upset and who cannot regain control. Contact parents to pick up those individuals by the end of the school day. Student should wait in a supervised area and should not be left alone. As needed, contact parents of students seen in the counseling area. Help parents know how to assist this child in dealing with the incident. Maintain a record of all phone calls. Use the Client Contact Log to record this information (see p. 177). As soon as possible, return students to the classroom. Regularly consult with school counselor assigned to the school. Check absentees each day. Be sure that you have contacted close friends of the student and provide them with counseling; fill out Form for Close Friends (see p. 179).

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

District Crisis Team Assignments


DCT Member Assignment

Special Notes:

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School Counselors Client Contact Log


Name Referred by Parent/Guardian Permission Slip Sent? Yes No DOB (optional) Homeroom Teacher Telephone Number Returned? Yes No

DATE

INITIALS

NOTES

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Close Friends of Deceased Student and Other Students At-Risk for Emotional Stress
Teachers: Please list students who might be most affected by this tragedy. Just list the names in the left hand column, and school counselors will use the form for other notes/counseling information. Thank you. STUDENTS NAME INITIALS NOTES

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Counseling Area Sign-In Sheet


Students Name Counselor Assigned

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT Members Sign-In Log


DCT Members Name Sign-In Sign-Out

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Classroom Teacher Crisis Checklist


If a student has died, do these things before students arrive (or after dismissal): Rearrange seating chart and remove the students desk/chair. Remove the deceased students personal effects/books and put them in the office. Remove the deceased students contents from their locker and bring to office or other designated location. Scan the room. Remove the students name/picture from any posters or charts in the room. Rove the students papers from stacks that have been graded or will be graded. Make a notation in the grade book concerning the student. Never cross out the students name in front of other students. When the students arrive in class, the teacher needs to be in control of his/her emotions as much as possible. If this is not possible, another professional should be in the classroom (administrator, counselor, school psychologist). Announcement of the loss to students; either by the teacher or designated DCT members. This will be read from a typed statement provided by the school administrator. Identify close associates of the student (e.g., friends or siblings). Also identify individual students who may be at-risk for emotional stress due to recent losses or traumas, such as death of a parent (see p. 179). Using procedures specified elsewhere in this manual send close associates and at-risk students to the designated counseling area to talk with members of the DCT if counseling is needed. Allow students who ask for assistance to come to the designated counseling area for assessment and counseling. Refer to possible classroom activities (see pp. 111-136) and get back to a regular routine as soon as possible.

In all cases, do these things when students arrive in class:

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Follow-Up To Crisis Checklist


Day Two and following (Short-Term) Gather faculty members and update them on any additional information/procedures. Allow staff opportunities to discuss feelings and reactions.

In case of death, provide funeral/visitation information if affected family has given permission. Identify students in need of follow-up support and, in accordance with schools crisis response plan, assign staff members to monitor these students.

Coordinate ongoing counseling support for students on campus. Announce onging support for students with time, place, and facilitator. Notify parents of affected students regarding availability of SAP referral (7634357) and mobile crisis (577-9400); initiate that process if requested.

If needed, schedule parent meeting to assist with grief, provide information, and so forth (see pp. 47-55; 137-143; 219-221). Provide small group grief support for faculty and/or staff either before or after school.

Following Crisis Resolution (Long Term) Convene SERT team for debriefing as soon as possible (see pp. 27; 189).

Provide a list of suggested readings to teachers, parents, and students. Write thank-you notes to out-of-building district and community resource people who provided support during the crisis. Prepare now (e.g., mark your calendar for next year) for crisis anniversaries and regular holidays. Students often experience grief reactions on these occasions. Continue to gather input from others (including students and parents) regarding crisis procedures and changes that might be helpful in the future. Prepare brief list of things that worked and things that did not work for your peers in school administration. They will greatly appreciate the benefit of your experience.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

DCT/SERT/CORT Post-Incident Debriefing


Post-incident debriefing is a process that reviews the operations at the incident and how they may be improved. The following factors are essential for discussion. This debriefing should be scheduled by the Coordinator or administrator as soon as possible following the event. If the team is unable to meet, ask members to complete the form individually. Initial Understanding Of Crisis Was the information we had accurate? Complete? Were there misunderstandings? Confusion?)

Initial Strategies And Tactics (Did we take the correct first steps? What else should we have done? What would we do differently?)

Results Of Strategies And Tactics (Did we achieve the intended results? Were there any unintended consequences of our actions? Improvements?)

Obstacles Encountered (What? Who? Why?)

What Worked Well And Why (What went well? Do we know why?)

Recommendations For Improvement (What lessons did we learn? Policies and/or procedures that need to be amended? Additional training needed? Areas:

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________ Form Completed by ______________________ Title ______________________

Suicidal Threat Checklist


Student provided with continuous supervision; never leave the student alone or unattended. Further, this student must be picked up at school or appropriate arrangements made for transport. Do NOT allow this student to ride the bus home or drive him or herself. School administrator notified. Parent/guardian notified or emergency contact notified and conference held at school. Use Parent Conference Form (see p. 205). School counselor notified and risk assessment requested. All involved parties reminded to maintain students confidentiality; discuss this requirement with person who initially reported the threat. Document acceptance or rejection of Student Assistance Program (7634357) or Mobile Crisis (577-9400). Obtain parent signature. Document follow-up by school counselor. Identify peers who also may be at-risk; school counselor performs risk assessment. If a student is deemed to be medium or high risk, follow these same procedures for that student. Obtain Release of Confidential Information (see p. 213) for permission to talk with mental health professionals, hospital staff, and so forth. Identify all school personnel involved. Complete either the Off-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist (see p. 195) or the On-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist (see p. 197). Complete the Reentry Checklist for Student who Attempted Suicide (see p. 199). Other actions taken (specify):

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Suicide Screening Form


(To be completed by school counselor or school psychologist.) STUDENTS IDENTIFYING INFORMATION Name DOB Age Address Home Phone Fathers Work Mothers Work Screeners Name Position REFERRAL INFORMATION Person who reported concern to screener: Student Teacher/Staff Parent What information did this person share with you that raised concerns about suicide risk?

INTERVIEW WITH STUDENT Does student admit to thinking about suicide? Does student admit to having a plan? If so, explain (how, when, where): Is the method available to carry out the plan? If yes, explain: Is there a history of suicide attempt(s)? If yes, describe:

Yes Yes

No No

Yes

No

Yes

No

Does student exhibit any of the following warning signs (check all that apply)? Written notes, poetry, stories, pictures Recent personal or family loss Suicide of family/friend Withdrawal from others Changes in appetite Sleep disturbance Preoccupation with death Family problems Feelings of hopelessness Direct or veiled statements of intent Changes in school performance Loss of interest in appearance Other concerns (Explain) PARENT CONTACT Name of parent/guardian contacted: Was that person aware of students suicidal thoughts/plans? What are parents thoughts/concerns: Does he/she want an SAP or mobile crisis referral? Will he/she allow school counselor to work with student? Release of Confidential Information (see p. 213) obtained? Is student seeing other professionals? If so, who? Other issues discussed:

Yes

No

Yes Yes Yes Yes

No No No No

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Off-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist


School involvement regarding the incident is due to: rumors and myths that are widespread and damaging law enforcement action/emergency services witnessed by students survivors friends requesting intervention Information providers/recipients enjoined not to repeat information elsewhere. Stress surviviors right to privacy! Action taken to quell rumors, such as providing factual information, correcting errors, and discussing the negative effects of rumors on student and school community. School Counselor meets with friends to determine support needed. Support services provided on site for identified peers. School reentry procedures followed; complete Reentry Checklist for Student who Attempted Suicide (see p. 199). All records related to the incident and services provided stored in confidential file.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

On-Campus Suicide Attempt Checklist


Render appropriate first aid and call emergency services (911). Remove all student witnesses from the area, but do not return them to classes or other public areas (e.g., lunchroom). Ask these students to complete their statements regarding the incident as soon as possible. Provide assistance to witnesses via DCT members. Contact parent/guardian of victim. Provide information to law enforcement officers, as appropriate. Inform Superintendents office (321-2521). Contact the SERT and the DCT. Notify parents/guardians of witnesses. Information providers/recipients enjoined not to repeat information elsewhere. Stress survivors right to privacy! Action taken to quell rumors, such as providing factual information, correcting errors, and discussing the negative effects of rumors on student and school community. If student survives, make no general announcements. Monitor witnesses and high-risk students for the next several days. If student does not survive, follow procedures for handling a student death, beginning with verification (see pp. 15-22; 147-165).

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Reentry Checklist for Student who Attempted Suicide


During students absence/before returning to school: Obtain written Release of Confidential Information (see p. 213) from parents. Be sure to obtain names of and include all treatment providers. Ask returning student if he/she has special requests about what is said and/or done by school. Coordinate make-up work and assignments so that student is not overwhelmed. If possible, work could be given to student during absence. Stay in contact with student; let him/her know that school staff are concerned about him/her and want to help. If student has a positive relationship with a particular teacher or other individual, ask him/her to visit, call, or send a card. Stay in contact with the students family to provide support and to obtain information about students treatment and needs. Help student plan what he/she will do or say when asked about the absence.

At time of reentry: If not done previously, obtain Release of Confidential Information (see p. 213) for all treatment providers. Consult with treatment professionals about any special needs the student may have or concerns about returning to school. School counselor or SERT member should meet with teacher(s) to convey relevant, non-confidential information. Answer questions and make tentative re-entry plan. School counselor will maintain regular contact with the student and to track his/her performance. School counselor will maintain regular contact with the students parents/guardians to share information and identify ongoing concerns or problems.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Threat Assessment Checklist


(To be completed by school counselor or school psychologist.)
Content of threat (check one): Threat was specific and could be carried out. Threat was specific, but unrealistic. Threat was vague and/or indirect. Actions taken by threatener (check one): Has complete preparatory actions and has means to carry out the threat (e.g., access to weapons) Discusses preparation in some detail, but has not taken action; plan may still be vague or unrealistic. Has taken no actions and lacks a specific plan. Early Warning Signs (check all that apply): Social withdrawal Excessive feelings of isolation and being alone Excessive feelings of rejection Being a victim of violence (e.g., of bullying) Feelings of being picked on or persecuted Low school interest and/or low academic performance Expressions of violence in writings (diary, journal) or drawings (sketches) Uncontrolled anger Pattern of impulsive and chronic hitting, intimidating, and/or bullying behaviors toward others; history of violence toward others. History of discipline problems. Intolerance of differences and/or prejudicial attitudes Drug and/or alcohol use Gang affiliations Access to or possession of firearms Serious threats of violence Imminent Warning Signs (check all that apply)7: Physical fighting/aggression with peers or family members Severe destruction of property. Severe rage for seemingly minor reasons. Detailed threats of imminent violence. Possession and/or use of firearms or other weapons. Self-injurious behaviors or threats of suicide.

Asessor: _________________________________Date _________________ Conclusion (circle one):


7

Low Threat

Medium Threat

High Threat

Presence of any of these imminent signs indicates high risk and immediate action should be taken.

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Students Name/School ______________________________ Date __________

Administrative Checklist for Student Threats


Administrator contacted. Person making report has completed written account and conveyed all relevant information to school administration. Threatener is supervised at all times (never left alone). Incident reported to school counselor and risk assessment requested. Threat assessment performed by trained professional (e.g., school counselor or school psychologist). Administrator will inform Superintendents office (321-2521).

If student is an imminent threat to others, then also do the following: Contact appropriate School Resource Officer or law enforcement agency. Insure student safety by isolating the student in a specific area (e.g., principals office). If student becomes violent in the classroom, it may be necessary to evacuate the classroom; a teacher or other staff must remain with the dangerous student and someone must accompany the dislocated students to their designated area. SRO or law enforcement officer will conduct an assessment to determine if the threat is credible. SRO or law enforcement officer and administrator meet privately to discuss the threat and consider options. If threat is credible, the officer shall follow agency protocol. If threat is not credible, administrator shall institute any further action deemed necessary. Inform parents/guardians of the situation and hold a conference with them upon their arrival at school. All personnel in charge should stay calm and in control this will reassure the threatener, students, and staff members.

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Counselor-Parent Conference School Parent(s) Concerns: Date Student

Suggestions:

Date and Method of Next Communication:

Signatures: Parent Counselor Teacher Administrator Others Attending: Name

Title

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Counselor-Teacher Conference School Parent(s) Concerns: Date Student

Suggestions:

Date and Method of Next Communication:

Signatures: Parent Counselor Teacher Administrator Others Attending: Name

Title

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Counselor-Administrator Conference School Parent(s) Concerns: Date Student

Suggestions:

Date and Method of Next Communication:

Signatures: Parent Counselor Teacher Administrator Others Attending: Name

Title

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Counselor Pass
Please use this pass when sending students to the counseling area. _______________________________________ Students Name

Counselor Pass Please use this pass when sending students to the counseling area. _______________________________________ Students Name

_____________________________________ Teacher NameTime sent _____________________________________ Counselors NameTime returned to class


Counselor Pass Please use this pass when sending students to the counseling area. _______________________________________ Students Name

_____________________________________ Teacher NameTime sent _____________________________________ Counselors NameTime returned to class


Counselor Pass Please use this pass when sending students to the counseling area. _______________________________________ Students Name

_____________________________________ Teacher NameTime sent _____________________________________ Counselors NameTime returned to class

_____________________________________ Teacher NameTime sent _____________________________________ Counselors NameTime returned to class

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SPE 01-00-400

SHELBY COUNTY SCHOOLS Special Education Division 5650 Woodlawn St. Bartlett, TN 38134

Release of Confidential Information


Students FULL NAME School Grade Birthdate Sex Address City/Zip Student resides with Relationship Home/Work Phone Type of Special Education Program Check the appropriate box: Information may be obtained from the following individual or agency. Information is to be released to the following individual or agency. Name and Address of individual or agency:

Pursuant to Federal Guidelines concerning the right to confidentiality, I authorize: Shelby County Schools Other (listed above) To release my medical, psychological, and/or educational records to: Shelby County Schools Other (listed above) I specifically consent to the release of information or medical, psychological, and/or educational records pertaining to: Students previous special education placement and/or services Verbal communication between appropriate Shelby County Schools personnel and above stated individual/agency Other (specify): I understand that I may revoke this consent to release information at any time; however, I also understand that any release which has been made prior to my revocation and which was made in reliance upon this authorization shall not constitute a breach of my confidentiality. Unless I revoke this authorization prior to such time, this authorization shall expire: Within one year from date of signature As otherwise specified here (state date, event, or condition of expiration At that time, no express revocation shall be needed to terminate my consent. If the client is under age eighteen or has a guardian appointed by the court, this release must be signed by the clients parent or guardian. Signature of parent, legal guardian, or student age 18 or older: Date Signatures of witnesses:

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Brochures

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What About You the Parent? Try to relax and get plenty of rest Discuss your own feelings with trusted friends without children present Continue with your own routine It is okay to appropriately express emotions in front of your children You are a role model for your children!

HELPING GRIEVING CHILDREN


Tips For Parents

For additional resources please contact your school counselor.

Shelby County Schools offers educational and employment opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, religion, sex, or disability

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How Children Respond to Death


Here are some common ways in which children may respond to death:

How To Help a Grieving Child: Express feelings through drawing and


writing Be direct and honest but keep it simple Give them a chance to discuss fears and validate their feelings Shower them with affection and attention Continue school and normal activities Avoid unnecessary separations from important caregivers Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games Limit viewing of the news on TV Internet and newspaper Be aware of conversations on phone or with other adults

Sadness or inability to sleep Denial, shock, and confusion Anger, irritability, and negative behavior Loss of interest in activities Loss of appetite Fear of being alone Somatic complaints, such as stomachaches and headaches Inability to concentrate or focus Drop in academic performance Regressive behavior such as bedwetting and whining

The death of a loved one is always difficult. For children, the loss of a sibling, parent, friend, or teacher can affect their sense of security and self-esteem. The family and the community can help children who are grieving. This type of support will enable the children to resume their lives more fully at home and at school. Parents, teachers, School Counselors, medical professional, and community leaders all play an important role in the life of the grieving child.

How to Know When Your Child Has Recovered The ability to talk about the event
openly with family and friends

The ability to resume usual routines The ability to resume social and
academic activities in an effective manner

The ability to manage and cope with


the many emotions that may be associated with the event

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Taking Care of Yourself

Get support from

friends and family Ask for lots of hugs! Write thoughts and feelings in a journal Listen to your favorite music Read Cry Exercise Get rest!

Please contact your School Counselor for additional help and resources.

H ELPING A G RIEVING F RIEND

Shelby County Schools offers educational and employment opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, religion, sex, or disability

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F IRST W ORDS
Talk to your friend. What you say is not as important as the simple fact that you are letting him or her know you care and acknowledge that this is a difficult time. Here are some examples of what to say:
Hello. Im glad to see you. I have really been

Helping a Classmate Upon Returning to School


Make sure your speak to your friend. Offer to provide missed notes from class. Give them your phone number so he or she can call about assignments. Invite them to study with you for an upcoming assignment or test because it is difficult to get back into a routine. Be available so your friend does not feel shunned or left out.

Attending a Visitation or a Funeral

It is normal to feel nervous about going to a funeral home or a funeral. Have a friend or a parent go with you Your friend will appreciate your presence. If the casket is open, go up to pay your respects if you feel comfortable. It is not necessary. Sign the guest book. If there are items and pictures on display they will help start a conversation. Offer your condolences by stating, I am sorry for your loss. or I wanted to come to be with you.

thinking about you.


Im sorry to hear

Some Do Nots Do not ignore your friend. Do not say, I know how you
feel.

about your _____s death.


I cant imagine how

Do not spread rumors about what happened, stick to the facts. Do not expect your classmate to be his or her old self. Do not think your friend is over their grief because they do no show it.

tough this is for you.

Let me know if I can help you.

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Resources

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Booklist for Students


AUTHOR Adams, Rebecca Bloom, Lois A. Blume, Judy Boritizer, Ethan Boulden, Jim & Joan Brown, Laurene Krasny Brown, Margaret Wise Buck, Pearl, S. Buscaglia, Leo Byars, Betsy Carrick, C. Clarty, Andrea Cleaver, Vera and Bill Clifton, Lucille Cohn, Janice Coleman, William Coleman, William L. DePaola, Tomie Dickerson, Julie G. TITLE When Parents Die Grades 5-8 Mourning After Suicide Tiger Eyes Grades 3-6 What Is Death? (loved one) Saying Goodbye (loved one) Grades 1-4 When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death (loved one) The Dead Bird (pet) Grades K-3 The Big Wave Grades 2-6 The Fall of Freddie the Leaf (loved one) Grades K-5 Good-bye Chicken Little (parent) Grades K-5 The Accident (pet) Grades K-4 Dusty was My Friend Grades K-5 Grover a boys mother commits suicide, and he and his father bring life together again. Grades 6-12 Everett Andersons Goodbye Grades 1-12 I Had a Friend Named Peter Grade K-3 Understanding Suicide When Someone You Love Dies Grades 5-8 Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs Grades K-3 Grandpas Berries (loved one)

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AUTHOR Dunne, E.J. Durant, Alan Faith, Susan Fassler, Joan Gant, Lea Gillespie Gellman, Marc Green, Phyllis Greene, Constance Greenlee, Sharon Grollman, Earl Hammond, Janice Hanson, Warren Hazen, Barbara Heegaard, Margaret Eaton Heegaard, Margaret Eaton Holden, L. Dwight

TITLE Suicide and Its Aftermath: Understanding and Counseling the Survivors Always and Forever (loved one) Purple Love My Grandpa Died Today Grades K-4 Never Say Goodbye (friend) Lost & Found: A Kids Book for Living through Loss (loved one) A New Mother for Martha (parent) Beat the Turtle Drum Grades 4-6 When Someone Dies Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers Grades 9-12 When My Dad Died (parent) Grades K-5 The Next Place Grades 2-5 Why Did Grandpa Die? When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope Grades 2-5 Coping with Death and Grief Gran-Grans Best Trick: A Story for Children Who Lost Someone They Love Grades K-5 25 Things to Do When Grandpa Passes Away Grades K-5 Running Through The Downers Grades 9-12

Kanyer, Laurie A. Kiev, Ari

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AUTHOR Krementz, Jill Kuehn, Eileen LEngle, Madeleine Lancaster, Matthew Lee, V. LeShan, Eda Little, Jean Lovre, Cheri MacGregor, Cynthia McLendon, Gloria Mellonie, Bryan Miles, M. Mills, Joyce C. Mundy, Michaelene Paterson, Katherine Prestine, Joan Rofes, Eric E. Shriver, Maria Silverman, Janis Sims, Alvin

TITLE How It Feels When a Parent Dies Grades 9-12 Death: Coping with the Pain A Ring of Endless Light Hang Tough Grades 2-12 The Magic Moth (sibling) Grades 5-8 Learning To Say Goodbye When A Parent Dies Grades 5-12 Mamas Going To Buy You A Mockingbird Grades 5-8 When Somebody Special Dies (family) Why Do People Die?: Helping Your Child UnderstandWith Love and Illustrations Grades K-5 My Brother Joey Died (sibling) Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children Grades K-5 Annie and the Old One Grades 2-12 Gentle Willow (friend) Grades K-5 Sad Isnt Bad Grades K-5 The Bridge to Terabithia (friend) Grades 5-8 Someone Special Dies (loved one) Grades 4-6 The Kids Book About Death and Dying Grades 6-12 Whats Heaven? (Death of a loved one) Help Me Say Goodbye (loved one) Am I Still a Sister? (sibling)

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AUTHOR Smith, Doris Talbot, Toby Thomas, Jane Thomas, Pat Tobias, Toby Varley, Susan Viorst, Judith Vogel, Ilse-Margret White, E.B. Willhelm, Hans Wolfelt, Alan

TITLE A Taste of Blackberries (Death of a friend) A Book About My Mother Grades 7-12 Saying Goodbye to Grandma I Miss You (Death of a loved one) Petey Grades K-6 Badgers Parting Gifts (Death of a friend) The Tenth Good Thing about Barney (pet) My Twin Sister Erika (Sibling) Grades 2-12 Charlottes Web Grades 1-5 Ill Always Love You Grades K-5 Healing Your Grieving Heart (loved one)

Booklist/Resources for Adults


AUTHOR TITLE

American Association of www.suicidology.org Suicidology 4210 Connecticut Ave. Suite 310 NW, Washington, DC 20008 Dyregrov, Atle Lord, Janice Harris Lyons & Schaeffer Grief in Children No Time for Good-byes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death How Do We Tell the Children?

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AUTHOR McCoy, Kathleen Monahon, C. Pennells & Smith Survivors of Suicide 184 Salem Ave Dayton, Ohio 45406 The Compassionate Friends P.O. Box 1347 Oak Brook, IL 60521 Viorst, Judith Wrobleski, Adina 5124 Grove Street Minneapolis, MN 55436

TITLE Coping With Teenage Depression Children and Trauma: A Parents Guide to Helping Children Heal The Forgotten Mourners www.survivorsofsuicide.com

www.parentsofsuicide.com

Necessary Losses Suicide: Questions & Answers, Suicide: The Danger Signals, Suicide: Your Child Has Died

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SCS Medianet Resources


Medianet is the Shelby County Schools media online media catalog. To access medianet do the following: Access the SCS website Look on the left side of the site Scan down the left side of the site Click on Medianet Click on Search Full Catalog Type in the subject (For example: mental health, asthma) Click on blue writing for details If the resource is what you need, follow the directions to order from the catalog. Title Blurred Lines (03482) Physical Color; Sound; 27 minutes Audience High (Grades 9-12) (H) Synopsis This video documents the tragic consequences of drunk driving. Two real families share their anguish over the loss of loved ones, allowing video cameras to record their grief in the hope that similar tragedies will be prevented. Subjects Alcohol; Guidance; GuidanceAlcohol Video Tape 1/2" (VHS): Title Suicide: A Guide to Prevention (03943) Physical Color; Sound; 15 minutes Audience Guidance Only (G) Synopsis Interviews with two youths who attempted suicide offer valuable information to help recognize the symptoms of teens contemplating suicide. They express the emotional, psychological and physical pains associated with suicide. Each of four scenarios discuss different warning signs, such as behavioral changes, giving away important possessions, increased use of drugs or alcohol, divorce, grief and loss and more. The difference between the myths and realities are also reviewed. Practical guidelines are used to advise adolescents on what actions to conduct and how to effectively communicate with a fellow teen in need. Subjects Guidance Video Tape 1/2" (VHS): Title Teen Grief Series: Climbing Back (06904) Physical Color; Sound; 23 minutes Audience Guidance Only (G) Synopsis A powerful and intimate look at the process of grieving as experienced by adolescents ages 13-20. These young adults candidly share with their peers
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the frustration, anger, depression and guilt they've experienced, as well as their first steps towards recovery. The program reveals the emotional ups and downs common to many teens who struggle with inner turmoil after experiences a loss, whether caused by sudden death long-term illness or suicide. Subjects GuidanceDeath Video Tape 1/2" (VHS): H Title What about Me? Kids and Grief (06410) Audience Guidance Only (G) Synopsis This multicultural video was created to help children who grieve, to give them an outlet to reflect on the feelings and thoughts, which are part of the process. Subjects Guidance Video Tape 1/2" (VHS): Title Where's Pete? (04589) Physical Color; Sound; 26 minutes Audience Primary (Grades K-2), High (Grades 9-12) Synopsis When seven-year-old Chad returns home from school, his grief-stricken father tells him that Chad's older brother Pete has been killed in a car accident. At first, the young boy cannot comprehend what has happened. Subjects Death and Dying; GuidanceDeath; Personal Video Tape 1/2" (VHS): Title Youth and Grief (06236) Physical Color; Sound; 32 minutes Audience High (Grades 9-12), Guidance Only (HG) Synopsis This video shows a group of teens as they struggle within normal developmental processes to attain independence, especially those impacted by death. Many adolescents do not want to "look" or "feel" different from their peers; nor do they want to confront mortality. Subjects Death and Dying; Grief Video Tape 1/2" (VHS):

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Important Phone Numbers All Emergencies................................................ 911


Arlington Fire Department ................................... 386-1728 Asst. Superintendent-Administration (SCS) ........ 321-2575 Asst. Superintendent-Dept. of Instruction (SCS) . 321-2527 Bartlett Police Department .................................. 385-5555 Bartlett Fire Department ...................................... 385-5533 Charter Lakeside Hospital ................................... 377-4700 Child Abuse Reporting ...............................(877) 237-0004 Collierville Police Department ............................. 853-3207 Collierville Fire Department ................................. 853-4866 District Crisis Team Coordinator (SCS)........ 867-6009 (W) District Crisis Team Coordinator (SCS)......... 568-1338 (C) Director-Food Services (SCS) ............................. 321-2588 Director, Public Relations (SCS) ......................... 321-2502 Director-Transportation (SCS)............................. 321-2282 Employee Assistance Program ........................... 458-0966 Executive Director-Special Services (SCS)......... 321-2550 Germantown Police Department ......................... 754-7222 Germantown Fire Department............................. 754-1414 Memphis/Shelby County Emergency Agency ..... 458-1515 Millington Police Department............................... 872-3333 Millington Fire Department .................................. 872-3331 Mobile Crisis ....................................................... 577-9400 Rape Crisis.......................................................... 272-2020 Shelby County Sheriff.......................................... 495-1111 Shelby County Fire Department .......................... 386-1728 Superintendent (SCS) ......................................... 321-2521 Student Assistance Program............................... 763-4357 Suicide Hotline .................................................... 274-7477 Suicide Survivors................................................. 274-7477

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