R 2009

PRESENTS

SU M M E
CAMOSUN COLLEGE’S
STUDENT NEWSPAPER

The art Nude

of dance poetry
LIFE - PAGE 17 ARTS - PAGE 19
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2 discover student life

 A seAsOnAl PuBlicAtiOn Of

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newspaper since 1990

Address:
location:
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3100 foul Bay rd., victoria, Bc, v8P 5J2
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dslcontents
Nexus Vol. 19, Issue 18 – Summer 2009
email: nexus@nexusnewspaper.com
Website: www.nexusnewspaper.com
[a c t i v i s m] [a r t s]
Publisher: nexus Publishing society

nexus PuBlisHinG sOcietY 4 critical mass 17 evolution of dance

student BOArd memBers By Alan Piffer By Andrea moir
Jeff Baldry for those who thought there victoria’s dance scene is
Zan comerford were already too many bikers stronger than ever, thanks in
Andrea moir on the road, think again! part to certain tv shows.
Jason motz
shane scott-travis
mAnAGinG editOr
[f e a t u r e] 19 Poetry in the raw
Jason schreurs
By Alan Piffer
student editOr 6 tanzania mania naked poetry readings,
tessa cogman By chantelle mussell is there anything better?
cOPY editOr A camosun student shares her Just don’t invite Aunt
Alan Piffer adventures during a summer sally cellulite.
co-op in Africa.
lAYOut editOr
laila Brown
stAff PHOtOGrAPHer [f o o d ]
courtney clarke [ l i f e]
AdvertisinG sAles 21 look who’s eating too
Jason schreurs 10 How kinky! By Guy Alaimo and donald
250-370-3591 (local) By Keltie larter Kennedy
campus Plus We dig deep to find a local Our food critic duo channels
1-800-265-5372 (national) kink group with all the gadgets tom Green, then go to laurel
and lingo you’ll ever need. Point for victoria’s best burger.
distriButiOn
Ashley moore
Adrian Binakaj
cOntriButOrs: [s e x /a d v i c e] [c o l u m n]
Guy Alaimo
Breanna carey 12 fake Os, wet dreams 22 Giving it up
Zan comerford By Keltie larter and Breanna By Kelly marion
christi Kay carey Our columnist gives up
donald Kennedy A look into the ol’ fake orgasm,
Brendan Kergin the beats of her iPod
and finding out if girls can and any other music for
Keltie larter have erotic dreams too.
melissa major a solid two weeks.
Kelly marion
Andrea moir
chantelle mussell [f e a t u r e]
Alan Piffer [c o m i c s]
shane scott-travis 13 taking a toke 22 the Phlegm alphabet
By Brendan Kergin By shane scott-travis
team nexus goes on a A modern-day, disturbia
pot-induced spirit walk with version of the ABcs, from
the views and opinions expressed herein are those of the local activist ted smith.
authors, not of the nexus Publishing society. One copy of an artist who constantly
discover student life (nexus magazine) is available per issue,
per person for free. nexus and discover student life are inspired us this year.
printed on recycled paper. Please recycle your copy. thanks!

Summer 2009 3
Ac t i v ism
Victoria cyclists approach
Critical Mass
Alan Piffer
Staff Writer
E ven though riding a bicycle is good exer-
cise, cheap, and environmentally friendly,
and peak oil is always looming on the horizon,
our society still favours automobiles over the
needs of cyclists.
But Victoria’s beleaguered cyclists aren’t
about to give up just yet. Critical Mass, a
worldwide event happening on the last Friday
of every month, aims to bring awareness to
bicycle riding, striving to overwhelm city
streets with a parade of cyclists rather than
pollution-belching vehicles.
Melissa Major, a Camosun sociology
student who takes part in local Critical Mass
events, finds that although reaction from
onlookers and car drivers was generally posi-
tive, some drivers tend to view the bicycles
as more of a nuisance than legitimate street
vehicles.
“We had a car behind us that was holding
down on its horn, and it did that for a good five
or seven minutes,” says Major. “Essentially,
if we were cars there wouldn’t be a problem,
but because we were bicycles, this vehicle
saw us as a problem.”
Major feels an important part of these
events is to create awareness and respect
for bicyclists.
“As a cyclist, you are very vulnerable on
the road, and it’s important for us to bring
awareness to that, and to remind drivers
that we are also vehicles,” says Major. “They
 discover student life
should treat us with the same respect they
would a car.”
One thing perplexing Major is the general
inaction in Victoria regarding cleaner modes
of travel such as bicycling, even when the
need is there.
“Even the Galloping Goose trail, in the
wintertime, none of that’s maintained,” says
Major. “So there’s ice everywhere, there’s no
salt ever put on it, the city pretty much ignores
it. The city really does need to provide people
with better options and not just cater to the
car culture.”
European cities, on the other hand, enjoy
a more established bicycle and transit-based
culture. One example Major states is the car-
free zones established in Holland’s cities.
“There, if you do want to come into down-
town during the weekend, you pay stupid
Photo: Melissa Major amounts of money to get there, only so many
cars are allowed into downtown core at a time,
and it’s monitored,” explains Major. “That’s
a really good example of one way to reduce
emissions—to give people the initiative to
ride their bikes rather than drive.”
Major also believes that cycling, with the
“As a cyclist, you amount of exercise required and connection
to the elements, is often a much more pleas-
are very ant and rewarding experience than being cut
off from the world inside a car.
“People appreciate what’s around them
vulnerable on the far more when they’re on a bicycle,” says
Major. “But not only that, studies show that
road, and it’s when you’re active, you’re a happier person.
You have far more energy, you feel great be-
important for us to cause it’s human-powered—it’s all you.”
And Major says while many modern bikes
bring awareness to can be very expensive, affordable options are
available in Victoria.
“I bought a bike for $200; I’ve been using
that, and to it for three years now,” says Major. “It’s a
total junker, but it’s a great ride and it gets
remind drivers me around. I’ve even toured on it.”
For anyone who would like to participate
that we are also in Critical Mass events, Major points out it’s
not just a political statement—it’s a lot of
fun, too.
vehicles.” “It’s a really good time for a lot of cyc-
lists,” says Major. “It’s free, and you feel
Melissa Major so safe because you’re with so many other
Camosun Student cyclists; you don’t feel intimidated by the cars
anymore, and you really do feel like the road
is your space.”
For more info, contact gearsofrevolution@
hotmail.com
T r av el
West Coast summer travel tips
Zan Comerford
Contributing Writer
T he question of whether or not to travel,
or just stay in school during the summer
months, plagues many exhausted student
brains. So why not just do both?
Those same starving student skills that
kept you fed and clothed in past semesters
can have you planning and saving for a vaca-
tion this summer. Afterwards, you’ll be rolling
into fall semester as a worldlier, more tanned
version of your former self.
On the West coast we’re fortunate to have
some of the world’s hippest, most progressive
cities right at our fingertips.
The first train out of Vancouver arrives
in Portland faster than you can say “choo,
choo!” Quickly becoming known as North
America’s culture capital, Portland is rich with
DIY communities, free public transit, and urban
gardens galore.
And if Portland doesn’t tickle your fancy,
return fares to Seattle and San Francisco
measure up at only $80 and $200 respectively.
Travelers can rejoice in the one legal advantage
Summer 2009
the US has over Canada—the happy hour.
How about $1 pints of Budweiser from 2 to 4
pm? Yes, please!
If you’d rather just hang out up here in
the Great White North, sometimes getting off
the rock for a weekend to Vancouver can be
just what the doctor ordered. Yes, it takes too
long to get there by public transit, but where
else can you see such a contrast of despairing
poverty and million-dollar penthouses?
Or, you can just keep it local to the extreme
and hit up what the island has to offer. Fes-
tivals like Soundwave, which runs from July
10–12 in Ucluelet, put the beauty of the Pacific
The first train out of Northwest in a whole new, techno-driven light.
Running rampant with 5,000 strangers and
sustaining yourself on pilfered beer and LSD
Vancouver arrives will definitely give you that weary traveler look
come September.
in Portland faster Still can’t seem to break out of the library
for a weekend away? Not to worry. Should you
than you can say find yourself buried under a mountain of books
so heavy you can barely strain your neck to see
“choo, choo!” the sun, just remember—Camosun happens
to be located on an island paradise.
Daily draft specials
Daily $5.95 & $6.95
lunch specials
Watch for music bingo!
Show your student ID
for 10% off food
3810 Shelbourne Street (at Cedar Hill X Rd)
250.721.2337

 f e At ure

A student’s c
By ChAntelle MUssell Th

[last summer, recent AcP graduate chantelle mussell did her co-
op in tanzania, Africa and wrote a journal about the experience.]
May 13, 2008
together we can make a difference.
i am a roots & shoots volunteer from canada stationed in
tanzania trying to spread this very motto. As my summer co-op
placement for camosun’s Applied communication Program, and in
an effort to contribute my knowledge of contemporary media and
environmental conservation in a positive, global way, i decided to
head halfway around the world and into the heart of darkest Africa.
dar es salaam, tanzania, the Haven of Peace.
i am doing some amazing work with roots & shoots and i would
like to share that particular aspect of my tanzania adventure.
the international volunteer program is a fantastic program with
the best of intentions, but it has been led down the garden path
a bit and needs ambitious volunteers to help make it something

6 discover student life

s contribution to tanzania
ll The offcial summer co-op journal of Ms. Chantelle Mussell
amazing again.
it all started in 1991 with the lovely ms. Jane Goodall and 16
tanzanian volunteers on the porch of her dar es salaam home (now
my dar es salaam home).
the roots & shoots objective empowers youth on a global level.
the objective? to inspire the next in line for making or breaking our
planet earth and to recognize the need for all human beings to work
together to save the environment, animals, and humanity.
my role is to go to secondary schools and universities (because
they speak english and my swahili knowledge is “kidogo, kidogo,”
which means “little by little”) to make waste management presenta-
tions, sit in on roots & shoots meetings led by the students, and help
facilitate and implement project ideas and positive participation. i
also sing a lot and make people smile!
i have 16 schools, eight of which have active roots & shoots
members. the other eight are inactive, but i am going to put some
fire under their asses, hakuna matata.
Summer 2009
One of the focuses of my project is going to be women. i strongly
feel the generations before us came here and destroyed everything
that is tanzanian culture. We need to offer help in an appropriate
and useful way. encouraging the equality of women in developing
countries is important, because the altruistic way of the lady is our
only hope.
so take it or leave it, i don’t really care. no one can say equal
rights and education for every human being on the planet is a step
in the wrong direction.
i will leave you for now as i need to sweat profusely, whilst i
fall into some African street juice and eat me some wicked rice and
beans, or wali kwa marage.
Open your eyes, minds, and hearts to the world around you. All
we need is love.
until next time, the peace, the love, and the happiness,
- Chantelle
CONT. >>>
7
f e at ure
June 9, 2008
Luck and fate have made their sneaky little ways into the life
and times and ups and downs of Ms. Chantelle Mussell.
I should probably start with, “My God, where to begin?” as
this is exactly the thought dancing around my crazy mind. To all of
you who are near and dear and oh-so-far-away, this is the biggest
understatement of my entire life. Yup, all 22 years.
I have managed to pertain volunteering in the Eastern bits of
Africa, accomplishing the co-op portion of my Applied Commication
Program, in a number of fantastic ways.
First, I have been filming various Roots & Shoots activities at
Jane Goodall’s house, such as the May 31 Beach Clean-Up. This
particular project was aimed for the government of Dar es Salaam
to force them to implement better waste disposal systems in the
city that would be accessible to everyone.
Myself and another volunteer, along with fellow staff members
and 15 schools, planned a massive beach-cleaning project. We
were crossing our fingers hoping that at least 50 students would
show up; in the end we had almost 300. No big deal. Except that
it was huge.
We had costumes, games, sing-a-longs, and biscuits. It was a
great success and the beach was sparkling clean for about two days.
Dar es Salaam has an unbelievable waste management problem,
hence the importance of the beach clean. Our plan was to film the
events in order to have a video pitch, have all the students sign a
petition, write a letter concerning our objectives, and contact media
in Dar to publish our activity. As it stands, we have a 10-minute beach
clean video (care of yours truly), a petition with over 250 names, a
 discover student life
well-written and stern letter to the government in both English and
Swahili, and a newspaper article in the Dar es Salaam Gazette.
Since that day, I have traveled to the southern bits of Tanzania to
film hippos, baboons, snakes, birds, villagers, mangrove forests, and
dinosaur bones left unturned by generations of archaeologists.
I have been offered a full-time position as the media monster for
two massive eco-friendly safari business projects. I have decided to
extend my stay here for another three weeks to film Jane Goodall in
the jungle. This will encourage investors to help us with this dream
of sustainable eco-safaris in Tanzania.
Every day I wake up to the Indian Ocean crashing over the sand
on the beach just outside my bedroom window. The sun warms my
cheeks and opens my eyes at the crack of dawn and, instantly, I am
smiling and wide-awake.
Every second I’ve spent in Tanzania has been an overwhelming ex-
plosion of sensations. Not every sensation is fantastic, however.
My fellow volunteer and I were mugged on the street and the
thief took my passport, visa, debit card, cell phone, special bits of
purse garbage, and my friend’s camera. In the end, it taught me a
lesson. I am stronger and wiser because of it and it’s a really funny
story to tell. Another time perhaps.
Up next for King Tron, director of media management (this is the
title we have all agreed to call me—I am so professional) is more
dangling from trees over a hippo pool and not getting eaten by lions
or large snakes. We are headed for two camping trips in the deep,
dark jungle of Tanzania in tents. I hope I don’t die.
Take care, keep well and smile into the sky for me,
- Chantelle
August 26, 2008
Now with two days to go, malaria dancing through my blood-
stream, and the all-too-familiar sweat dripping forth from my brow,
reflection is upon me.
The time has come for the wide-eyed hopeful to return from
whence she came and explain her less-than-conventional perform-
ance whilst abroad.
Unfortunately, this reflection might be a nasty one as the person
staring back at me is unfamiliar, sun burnt, and scared shitless of
this next huge step.
In an attempt to explain my infatuation with this crazy place, I
am going to list the things that hurt so good:
1. Tanzanian smiles. Huge, white, perfect smiles, laughing
with me.
2. The high-pitched and tiny “ah!” that escapes between the
lips of Tanzanians regularly in conversation to emphasize
one’s point.
3. A baby on a mama’s back held snugly in place by a kitenge
(colourful, oddly patterned cloth used to make snazzy
Tanzanian outfits).
4. My newly adopted family that lives next door—the Van
Lawicks. They may or may not have wanted to adopt me but
I forced them to because I love them.
5. The upside-down Frisbee that serves as a cat dish in the
house of Jane Goodall, and how it’s always full of disgust-
ing, dead fish.
6. The stupid sign on my forehead that says, “Yes! I want
Summer 2009
a taxi. Yes I want to be mugged more than one time in two
months. Yes, I want to marry you. Yes, I want a cheap deal
on something that doesn’t even exist!”
7. Everyone hates my hot-pink sunglasses. Not one person
likes them.
8. The 35 ways to say, “Hello, how are you and yours” in
Kiswahili.
9. Rebecca Maria Koomen, my new hetero soulmate and
conservation/media partner.
10. Every single tear I have shed over someone I have met
that used their beautiful Tanzanian smile on me. They get
me every time.
I didn’t save any lives or change the world. I didn’t feed starving
children or rescue an endangered species from extinction. I didn’t
make promises that I had no intention of carrying out like so many
before me.
I facilitated and assisted students with Roots & Shoots projects.
I filmed areas of land and animals that have been purchased for the
purpose of conservation.
I laughed, I cried, and I tried my best to make the most of each
and every opportunity that was offered to me.
Please consider the environment, people, and animals of our
planet Earth before you pull down your pants and shit on her,
- Chantelle
For more info about Roots & Shoots, go to
www.rootsandshoots.org
photo: ChrisShier
l if e

Riding the whip Victoria’s Sagacity c

Keltie Larter
Contributing Writer

T hree decades ago, if a friend had jokingly

included a pair of fur-lined handcuffs in
On the upper level
your secret Santa gift basket, well . . . it
probably would have been really awkward. was a large play
But these days, chances are most people
already have some sort of kinky item tucked area roped off and
away at home.
With unparalleled access to the Internet, set up with
the information highway has allowed people
from all walks of life to come together. Such
is the beginning of the story of Victoria’s Sag-
different stations
acity group, spearheaded by a woman named
Sam Quinn, known to most as Ladyfish.
for people to be
Almost nine years ago, Ladyfish, having
recently moved to Victoria from New York,
tied up, strapped
met with a handful of other kinksters online
and decided to form a group. down, stretched
The idea was to come together to talk
about their interests, learn from each other, out, and caged.
laugh, and network. They met for the first
time at a local pub, and it wasn’t until a few
months later the group decided to open up
to all sorts of kink and change their name to
Sagacity, which is a French word meaning
wisdom. And, in this case, it was the wisdom
to choose what was right for them.
So what is kink? The dictionary defines
it as “bizarre or unconventional sexual pref-
erences and/or behaviour,” but Ladyfish
believes every person has their own kink.
“When you pull someone’s hair while
you’re having sex; or restrain someone’s
hands or arms; when you tie a cloth over
someone’s eyes; when a partner playfully
spanks his/her partner on the bum for saying
something impudent; or when you dress up
in sexy lingerie—all those things are kink,”
says Ladyfish.
Some of the more popular practices in-
clude bondage, sensory deprivation, needle
photo: www.rodhoodphotography.com

play, fire play, flogging, whipping, spanking,

punching, slapping, tickling, suspension,
electrical play, and cutting and piercing, to
name a very few.
During the nine years since its inception,
the Sagacity group has grown so much they’ve
had to find a new location for their weekly
meetings, which are attended on average by
40 to 65 people.
One active member of the group reflects
on how it has grown. “[We’ve gone] from
worrying about whether or not they’d be able
to come up with the $300 for the hall rental,
to putting on multi-thousand-dollar events. This past year the group celebrated their and-greet evening coupled with an erotic art
It just keeps growing,” says the man who ninth birthday with a weekend-long series of show, followed by a full day of workshops,
wishes to remain anonymous. events. The weekend kicked off with a meet- which included things like burlesque dancing,

10 discover student life

y celebrates nine years of kink
cupping, flogging, how to find and keep a
dominant, how to use the violet wand, mum-
mification, spanking, and much more.
The celebration climaxed at a late night
play party, with a couple of hundred guests
turned out in their finest leather and latex
(and nothing more than birthday suits for
some), laughing, drinking, tying each other
up, strapping each other down, and loving
every minute of it.
A ballroom at a local hotel was trans-
formed for the evening’s events. On the main
floor were tables for socializing, snacks, and
a bar. And on the upper level was a large play
area roped off and set up with different sta-
tions for people to be tied up, strapped down,
stretched out, and caged. On the outside of
the play area were chairs set up for those
whose kink is to be the voyeur.
Although the majority of the party guests
seemed to be about 35 and over, there were
people from all age groups over 19, ethnic
backgrounds, body types, and sexual orienta-
tions in attendance.
The atmosphere wasn’t so much one
of drunken revelry as it was of controlled
enjoyment, anticipation, and respect; and
attendants were friendly and at ease.
Melissa Major, a Camosun student who
was a first-time attendee at one of Sagacity’s
play parties, says her reaction was one of
surprise.
“It’s very oriented towards open discus-
sion and safety. I felt amazingly comfortable,
nothing really struck me as being deviant or
strange or any of the stereotypes most people
think of,” says Major. “It just seemed like a
really chill atmosphere and everyone was
just kind of doing their own thing.”
A dungeon monitor controlled the play
area, and there were fairly strict rules and
norms that those within the play area and
outside of it were expected to follow.
For example, there was no genital-to
genital or oral-to-genital contact allowed.
It’s considered impolite to touch people
or their equipment without their express
permission.
It’s also not advisable to interrupt some-
one while they are playing out a scene, and
if you are planning on playing out a scene
with another person or people, a series of
negotiations must be discussed and agreed
upon by all parties involved first.
Participants need to decide who will
play which role (usually top and bottom)
and where each person’s boundaries lie in
regards to sexual contact (if there will be any),
psychological play (for example, humiliation,
obedience, or verbal violation), and physical
limits (such as pain, marks, and resistance
to various influences).
They also need to agree upon which types
of play are allowed (bondage, role-playing,
sensory deprivation, spanking, etc.), what
sorts of gear will be used (materials, adult
toys, restraints, fetish wear), how long the
scene will last, and who will keep track of
the time.
Also, safety measures must be discussed,
health concerns taken into consideration,
and safe words agreed upon.
Of course, these negotiations vary de-
pending on partners and environments, but
generally speaking there’s a lot of trust given
and responsibility taken between players and
it’s not something that’s taken lightly within
the kink community.
An anonymous Camosun Fine Arts stu-
dent who is new to the kink scene calls it
“topping from the bottom.”
“You have to know what you’re doing; you
have to be in touch with the person you’re
doing it with,” she says. “If you go parachut-
ing and you pack your partner’s parachute,
they need to trust that you’re going to do
it well, and you need to know what you’re
doing really well!”
The student says she has always felt a
need for something different. “Since I was
five or so I can remember the same kinds
of feelings that I’m looking for now. Having
someone take control, and not wanting to be
the leader. When you’re a kid you’re looking
for security like that in a lot of ways, and
there’s a certain security that comes from
not being able to move. You’re just there
and you’re safe and you don’t have to do
anything. It’s something really reassuring,”
she explains.
An anonymous Sagacity member enjoys
playing a more dominant role with his part-
ners. “It’s a consensual and powerful thing.
When you have a really good exchange where
a dominant is really aware of his submissive’s
needs and is helping fulfill them and, in
return, she is giving an awful lot of herself,
it can be quite cathartic. You can feel quite
dizzy and get head rushes and you can just
get lost in what you’re doing,” he says.
All in all, the Sagacity birthday bash
was a success. Tickets were sold out, the
workshops were interesting, and nobody
was hurt that didn’t want to be.
And, with a kink scene that’s flourishing in
Victoria, the city’s conservative British reputa-
tion might just be in for a little spanking.

The language of that allows the operator to manually

kink
BDSM: A composite acronym for
bondage and discipline, dom-
inance and submission, and
sadomasochism.
Bondage: Any activity that involves
tying someone up, handcuffs, tying
a person to something, etc.
Bottom: A person who receives
physical stimulation in situations
that exclude the exchange of power.
So you like to be spanked, but don’t
necessarily want to be submissive.
Cupping: A type of sensation play
using different sized glass or plastic
cups. Plastic cups have a hand pump
suck out the air, suctioning the cup
to the skin. Glass cups are heated on
the inside with cotton balls soaked
in alcohol and then set on fire or
blowtorches and then placed on the
skin. As the air inside the cup cools,
it creates suction.
Dominant or dom: A person who
takes on a role of physical and/or
psychological power or authority
over another.
Fire play: A number of different
practices using live flame in sexual
or BDSM play.
Flogger: A tool used to strike another
person that’s made up of a handle or
grip with many lashes attached to it.
Can be made of leather, plastic, rope,
and other materials.
Masochist: A person who experi-
ences sexual arousal or gratification
from experiencing pain.
Mummification: A kind of bondage
play where a person is wrapped
up tightly enough to be immobil-
ized using, plastic wrap, tape, rope,
material, or anything else which suits
the purpose.
Electrical play: Various practices
using an electrical current to stimu-
late different parts of the body.
Violet wand: A device used for elec-
trical play containing a gas that glows
bright purple when stimulated by an
electrical current.
Sadist: A person who experiences
sexual arousal or gratification from
inflicting pain on others
Safe word: A word agreed upon by
those involved in BDSM play that
means stop.
Submissive: A person who takes on a
role of intentional powerlessness.
Switch: a person who enjoys play-
ing the role of both dominant and
submissive
Top: A person who gives physical
stimulation in situations that exclude
the exchange of power. They like to
give spankings, but aren’t necessarily
a dominant.
Vanilla: A person who is not involved
with BDSM and/or kink.
Voyeur: A person who is aroused
by watching others, especially in a
sexual context.

Summer 2009 11
 se x /A dv ice
Inter-course
Fake orgasms
Probably the most famous cinematic or-
gasms was a fake. i’m talking about that scene
in When Harry Met Sally where meg ryan and
Billy crystal’s characters are sitting in a diner
and talking about one-night stands.
When crystal’s character insists no woman
has ever faked an orgasm with him and he
would’ve been able to tell if they had, ryan’s
character performs an earth-shattering or-
gasm right at the table to prove him wrong.
Her climax is so convincing that an elderly
woman in the booth next to them whispers to
the waitress, “i’ll have what she’s having!”
the sad fact is women fake a lot of or-
gasms. not that we like to admit it, mind you;
at least not to men.
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12
i decided to pick a few unsuspecting brains
about the matter.
Aside from one asshole who said he
“didn’t give a damn if a girl got off, as long
as he did” (i pity whoever ends up in the sack
with that loser!), all the other guys i asked said
they would feel insulted and/or embarrassed
if they knew a girl had faked it. And most of
them were pretty sure no girl had ever faked
it with them. Yeah, right.
On the other side of this sad story, only
one woman i spoke to said she had honestly
never faked an orgasm in her life, and she
was a lesbian!
reasons for faking an orgasm vary. some-
times it’s to protect the ego of a partner, or
sometimes the embarrassment of being un-
By Keltie lArter
able to achieve climax. Another reason is to
simply speed things along.
many of the women i spoke to said they
were even able to fake orgasmic vaginal
contractions.
so women fake it to protect men, but
men have no idea that women are faking it,
and men wouldn’t want them to fake it if they
knew. What a conundrum.
solution? talk to your partner!
even if it’s a one-night stand, you should at
least be comfortable enough to tell the other
person what you like and what you need to
have in order to reach an orgasm.
And if you’ve had a few too many and
you’re pretty sure the little woman in the boat
isn’t going to be as responsive as usual, just
let your partner know. from the sounds of it,
a man would be less insulted with honesty
than with a fake orgasm.
i’ll admit i’ve been guilty of faking it once
or twice in my life, but i’m making a promise to
myself that from now on if it’s not going to hap-
pen, i’m not going to lie about it anymore.
Well, i’m going to try not to, at least.
Ask anything
By BreAnnA CArey
Q: I’ve been having dreams where I get really
excited, but then I wake up before anything
really good can happen. Can women actually have
orgasms from erotic dreams?
A: You may have been thinking about your
sexy history teacher or that cute boy in the
cafeteria before you went to bed and ended up with
some naughty dreams. But they were so real, right?
These are lucid dreams; this phenomenon can be
erotic, and other times not, but you’re aware that
you are dreaming and can control the subsequent
chapters. Depending on your self-awareness,
lucid dreams can be extremely real and vivid.
Although it was previously believed only men
could have “wet dreams,” women are also quite
capable of having orgasmic episodes while they
sleep. Typically, arousal can cause the dreamer
to waken, sometimes before they reach actual
orgasm. By staying still and attempting to remain
in the dream state, you may be able to continue
the erotic dream. Dreams can be a wake-initiated
lucid dream (or, suitably enough, WILD) where the
subject goes from conscious to dreaming without
any apparent time lapse. If you have good dream
recall, then you’re in a position to have lucid
dreams. Keeping a dream journal will help you start
where you left off. Often reading erotic material or
thinking about a particularly arousing event right
before you go to bed puts you in a position to have
erotic dreams. Just hope that you don’t talk in your
sleep during class.
discover student life
Up in smoke By Brendan Kergin

Nexus team talks pot with Ted Smith

There’s no business like herb business.

And by herb we mean
marijuana. And by business we mean the illegal
but accepted practice of selling weed for medicinal
purposes. Victoria’s Ted Smith has been involved in
this arena of activist business for over 10 years.
Smith sparked up with fellow Nexus staff writer
Guy Alaimo and I. This fraternity of weed smokers
also included Jimmy Nguyen, giggle Buddha, and
Donald Kennedy, semi-pro cat-petter.

Smith has walked the walk and toked
the toke. He’s also spent time in court for his
beliefs after raids in 2002 and 2003 of the
Cannabis Buyers Club of Canada (CBCoC).
The CBCoC is a group Smith runs selling
“cannabis products to people with permanent
physical disabilities or diseases since 1996,”
according to their mandate.
The cannabis activist and Hempology
101 instructor took the Nexus team on a trip,
literally and figuratively, as we rolled a few
joints, hot-boxed my car, and visited a couple
of Smith’s favourite hangouts.
What follows is a hazy recount of the
afternoon’s events.
Alaimo and the others pick up Smith
from his downtown CBCoC headquarters and
return to a street near Camosun’s Lansdowne
campus where they wait for me in the car.
After class, I catch up to them already blaz-
ing, smoke filling the car.
I meet Smith through the window of the
car, and can barely make out the giggling
Nguyen in the background.
After packing my stuff into the trunk
of the car, which is also filled with smoke,
I squish into the back seat beside Nguyen
and formally introduce myself to the famous
(or infamous) activist and ask him about our
destination, Sacred Herb.
“When I started all this I lived in a van,
and the guy who owned and founded Sacred
Herb let people smoke pot upstairs, so I hung
out there a lot,” says Smith.
We continue to spark up as the car fills
up with smoke. Our camera won’t focus on
anything anymore. There’s a logjam as one
joint chases down another in our circle.
“Ted’s probably thinking, what a bunch
of lightweights,” giggles Nguyen.
“This is kinda what I do. Most people
can’t keep up with me,” says Smith. “It’s
funny, even when [marijuana activist] Marc
Emery came over here last year, he brags all
the time, but at one point he said that he’d
CONT. >>>

Spring 2008 13
 F e at ure
smoked more pot than anyone in the room,
and he actually stopped and looked at me
and goes, ‘Well, maybe except for Ted.’ I was
totally honoured, because usually he’d never
give anyone else credit.”
Smith recalls going to high school in
Ontario where he was a proponent of the
school’s drug culture. After deciding to leave
that scene and move out west in 1996, he
began meeting sick people and decided to
start up the buyer’s club.
CBCoC now has 2,400 buyers and con-
tinues to go strong, despite being busted
multiple times by police.
Technically, the CBCoC is illegal, but
authorities now tolerate the club. A number
of court cases have sided with CBCoC due
to poorly structured medical marijuana
legislation.
Health Canada’s own pot programs are
inadequate, according to Smith, so the group
simply supplies what the official programs
can’t.
Due to his business and the Hempology
101 lectures he runs at the University of Vic-
toria, he works over 50 hours a week, which
keeps his schedule busy.
At this point, we all decide to bus down-
town and the fresh air snaps us back a bit.
Smith and I chat some more as Nguyen spits
up something nasty—something very, very
nasty.
I follow up that by asking Smith how he got
involved with the activism side of ganja.
“It was, I guess, a progression. I realized in
university I wanted to be a writer and help the
world evolve, I guess you could say, through
writing,” he says. “And so when I first came
across Hempology 101 in Vancouver it seemed
a perfect place to put my skills. The theme
‘legalization by education’ seems totally
feasible in many ways.”
Kennedy, Nguyen, and Alaimo start crack-
“At one point ing up at this point, completely undermining
the journalistic integrity of the piece. How
[marijuana activist] are two stoned guys supposed to carry on a
conversation while something possibly hilari-
Marc Emery said that ous was occurring behind us?
But Smith is a trooper, he continues on
he’d smoked more about the moral obligation he felt to get hemp
legal. He looked at his activism as a way to
pot than anyone in work for farmers who could make money and
wares from cannabis products.
Another point to his work is the help he’s
the room, and he able to provide to people using marijuana as
a medical product. Used as a muscle relaxant
actually stopped and and pain reliever, marijuana products could
be considered a pharmaceutical drug as much
looked at me and as an illicit one.
We discuss his textbook, The Hempology
goes, ‘Well, maybe 101 Textbook. While it lacks a creative title, it’s
a fairly non-traditional textbook.
except for Ted.’” After describing the physical attributes
of the book, such as hemp paper and a non-
glossy cover, he moves onto what it contains
Ted Smith
Cannabis Buyers Club of Canada
information-wise. It’s mostly a history of the
weed in different cultures and societies; the
book is a continuing work for Smith.
By now we have reached the bus stop.
After an awkward stutter-step by a passing
student, trying not to get caught up in this
smelly, loud group of guys, Alaimo almost

Pot virgins: Nexus team reminisces about their first times

Guy Alaimo, Staff Writer
When I was 13 I smoked a nugget of
weed without even busting it up,
using a pop can that I poked holes
into. I used the mouth of the can to
suck in the smoke. It’s possible that
I did some permanent brain damage
after inhaling aluminum, but it’s a
fun experience to think back on. My
friend and I wandered around Cad-
boro Bay, stoned out of our minds,
running into old people buying their
groceries and stuff.
Donald Kennedy,
Contributing Writer
The first time I smoked pot I was 19.
I was at a party where I didn’t know
anyone, and I felt like doing some-
thing to fit in. Coincidentally, I also
ate pot cookies for the first (and only)
time at this party. I ended up eat-
ing about 10 of them because they
tasted really fucking good, and I was
too naive to realize I wasn’t eating
normal cookies. Funnily enough, this
wasn’t the only drug-loving party I
naively showed up to in my early
days in Victoria. I actually ended up
going to an “E” party once because I
thought the “E” stood for electronic.
Little did I know I would spend the
night drastically sober, having an
unfortunate looking woman rub my
shoulders and tell me how beautiful
I am, as people snorted Ritalin in the
other room. That party was enough
to close any gateway that pot may
have tried to open up for me.
Brendan Kergin, Staff
Writer
When I was an exchange student in
Germany we went to Strassbourg
on a class trip. Sitting in the sun,
one of my friends mixed tobacco
and hash together. It seemed like a
good proposition at the time and we
passed the joint around. After awhile
I figured I wasn’t doing it right, so I
decided to go back to the hostel to
grab something to drink and find
the others in our group. As soon as
I stood up I guess my heart decided
to start pumping again, because it
hit me. I meandered back to the
hostel, enjoying the new shades of
green the park suddenly had to offer.
Once back at the hostel I realized I
had forgotten my key and went to
find the other room of friends. Their
door was locked, but I could hear
partying inside, so I banged my head
against the door a couple of times
and then sat down, leaning against
the door. When my friend opened
the door I promptly fell back and
giggled maniacally at her. From
that it goes blurry, I’m pretty sure I
started drinking low grade vodka and
Nexus’ fraternity of weed smokers
referencing schnoz berries.
with Ted Smith (top left).

14 discover student life

pushes a cyclist into traffic.
We would like to apologize to both, es-
pecially the poor biker. We never meant to let
you fall onto the road.
While on the very public #14 bus, the
conversation continues. many passengers
are obviously listening to us as we talk about
our parents and drugs.
smith wasn’t caught red-handed with
weed; instead his mother found his stash, in
which he had left a note for her asking if she
wanted some.
As we pull up to the downtown core, city
hall looms above us. this brings us to smith’s
2002 run for mayor. it was more of a publicity
move and chance to meet the likely city council
than a serious shot at the seat.
“it got me to talk about a bunch of issues
i really had nothing to do with,” says smith,
“where dogs can shit isn’t really something
that should be taking a lot of time in civic
politics.”
“they got to see me in a shirt and a tie,
talking responsibly, not being some pot ac-
tivist coming up with all these flaky ideas,”
reflects smith.
the resulting election had a council much
more aware of smith, a group who viewed
him more conservatively than before, since
he believes he’s not so radical.
As we wander down Johnson street he
talks about his activism with pride. this is a
man who’s humbly proud of his work. He’s
held conventions, game shows, and other
events sponsored by many of the hemp-re-
lated shops.
We finally make it down to the alley
that leads to sacred Herb and the resident
cat runs up to meet us, obviously a fan of
smith’s as well. Nexus writers guy alaimo (left) and Brendan Kergin (right) pose with a pound of weed.
Walking into the store, smith greets the

Duuuude, got the munchies?

guy behind the counter with a friendly “Hey,
what’s up?”
the store carries a variety of hemp prod-
ucts, such as clothing and soap, as well as
smoking paraphernalia like pipes and some
enormously tall bongs.
they also have some text on ganja, such
as books with tips and advice, magazines with
the latest news, and local publications, such
as smith’s own cannabis digest journal.
smith chats about his costume, an 11-
foot leaf, dubbed Herb, which he wears at
local events. He also shows us some of the
products from the store. Kennedy enjoys
petting the alley cat, which is now warming
on a light table.
A product that should definitely be men-
tioned is the 420 soap. “One of the stupidest
things the company did is call it 420 soap, be-
cause it’s amazing hemp seed soap,” says smith
CONT. >>>
gUy AlAiMo
stAff Writer
Spending an entire afternoon and evening
smoking marijuana can leave even the most
hardcore chronic with an insatiable desire for a
gluttonous feast.
So right after the Nexus team said goodbye
to local pot activist Ted Smith, it was no surprise
volunteer writer Donald Kennedy came up with an
idea as we were walking down Blanshard.
“Should we hit up Yokohama’s all-you-can-
eat deal?” After a nanosecond of opposition from
staff writer Brendan Kergin, the group quickly
agreed on all-you-can-eat Japanese food.
After entering the restaurant, it finally set in
that we just smoked weed with motherfuckin’ Ted
Smith, arguably the most hardcore weed smoker
this city has ever seen.
The all-you-can-eat menu at Yokohama
isn’t bad. There are numerous sushi and sa-
shimi choices available, and plenty of traditional
appetizers.
And the price of $23. per person seems
reasonable for all-you-can-eat Japanese food,
until you realize a waitress has not graced you
with her presence in over 0 minutes.
Let’s just say our combined $3 tip was too
much.
But what does Ted Smith like to eat? Well,
while we hung out with him he said his favorite
place to dine in Victoria is Lotus Pond.
And when he isn’t scarfing down the Pond’s
gourmet vegetarian cuisine, he’s munching on any
kind of nut mix he can get his hands on.
As for favorite fast food place, Smith says he
doesn’t support any major corporations, but if he
had to eat fast food, he would choose Subway
because they offer “vegetarian choices.”

Summer 2009 1
 f e at ure
“and the name makes a lot of stores not sell it.”
“A lot of people don’t know about it,” calls the
guy from behind the counter. “Partly because
of the stupid name!” Smith pushes his point.
It is a stupid name.
“People think it’s bong cleaner,” replies
the shop-keep.
Smith goes on to list off all the things he’s
cleaned with the hemp-seed soap. Apparently
the biodegradable stuff works on hair and
floors equally well.
Smith is active across all of Victoria
when it comes to cannabis, and it’s proven
by the donations he can list off for Reach for
the Pot, the world’s only marijuana-based
game show.
This year the fourth annual Reach for the
Pot tournament was uploaded to Youtube
where the winners picked up the award bong.
Ideally, Smith would like to expand this con-
cept to a travelling show of some sort.
16
Alaimo wanders past at this point to
buy an Adbusters Magazine that he’ll never
read.
The conversation moves on to the legal
They’re light, issues Smith has faced. As an activist, he’s
had a lot of media coverage and some face-
to-face time with the cops. They have made a
despite their size— number of visits to the CBCoC headquarters,
where we head to next.
a half-pound each. Our visit is much more conspicuous than
the undercover cops who have been turned
We each pose with away in the past, but it helps to have Smith
vouch for us on the way in.
the bags, like The CBCoC has around 35 full and part-
time employees in a variety of roles. We
meet a few of them as we get a grand tour
they’re celebrities. of the site.
A relatively large area for what it is, it’s as
much a clubhouse or community gathering
place as anything. A meeting will be taking
place later, with discussions on the activities
of International Medical Marijuana Day.
Before things get too hectic though, Smith
gives a grand tour. The first room we go to is
a small, closet-sized box with a few posters
covering the pasty walls.
“The box,” announces Smith, “the most
popular closet in Victoria. There’s people in
here pretty much all day.”
We move on to the little back room of the
headquarters where the pot is.
A man behind a counter looks a little con-
cerned to see four young guys with a camera
and digital recorders enter the room. Smith
had forgotten to tell him who was visiting
this afternoon.
We move on to a back storage room, an-
other hideout to smoke out. Posters are on the
ceiling for those moments of relaxation.
It’s here Smith mentions the CBCoC goes
through about 40 pounds of weed a month,
providing medicinal marijuana to approxi-
mately 2,400 people.
“You’ve never seen a pound before?”
Smith asks us.
“Is it like a brick?” asks Alaimo.
“I’ll show you,” replies Smith
That perks up all of our ears. We follow him
over to his office, where his Herb costume
sits.
Smith pulls out two large baggies. They’re
light, despite their size—a half-pound each.
We each pose with the bags, like they’re
celebrities.
Our time with the activist and this leafy
topic are up though, as there is a meeting
starting soon.
With a friendly wave to Smith, we take our
leave. Rumour has it there’s a Japanese buffet
on tonight, and we just spent hours getting
stoned with a pot activist with no food.
Hi ho, munchies away!
discover student life
 a rt s

The evolution of dance in Victoria

Andrea Moir
Contributing Writer

T o picture an ordinary night out for stu-

dents, most would imagine alcohol, good
friends, and dancing. And whether you’re
cutting the dance floor like a pro, or keeping
with the standard touch-step combination,
you are taking part in a ritual that has gone
on for centuries—the art of dance.
But it’s not just the alcohol that forces
people to perform “Soulja Boy” dance rou-
tines in public. Media influence has played
a large role in dance popularity. Shows like
So You Think You Can Dance? highlight dan-
cers skilled in anything from street styles to
partner dancing.

“It’s not just about

booty-shaking and
grindin’ like in
some music
videos. It’s an art
form.”
Brooke Kilgore
VibeStreet Dance

“These shows help dance by bringing it

onto the front-burner,” explains Karen Clark,
a local dance studio owner. “When they are
on we tend to get calls at the studio, and
people actually say they watch those shows.
Now they want to dance.”
Victoria studios have seen enrolment
increase over the last two decades. Karen
Clark Dance Studio has been in Victoria for
21 years and in its first decade increased
enrolment by 20 percent. It has been close
to full every year since 1998.
In the last few years, one genre has ex-
ploded in Victoria’s dance community. That
is the art of hip-hop, a style that originated
from traditional African dance. photo: Christi Kay
“Hip-hop never used to be popular, and
CONT. >>>
Camosun graduate Laura Blain is one of many students at Karen Clark’s popular dance studio.

Summer 2009 17
A rt s
that has brought a great number of boys into
the dance studio,” says clark.
the increased interest in hip-hop is what
led Brooke Kilgore to open her own local
company, vibestreet dance, in 2006.
As victoria’s only urban dance company,
she’s also seen significant growth in her en-
rolment numbers. Kilgore believes hip-hop
has become more popular due to society’s
renewed attitude towards it.
“People are finding that hip-hop dance
actually has a culture behind it, and it is finally
becoming more respected. it’s not just about
booty shaking and grindin’ like in some music
videos. it’s an art form,” explains Kilgore.
Kilgore also agrees with clark that dance
shows are allowing all styles of dance to be
noticed by society.
“dance as a whole is being seen more,
and it is showing dancers of all ages and
abilities dancing various styles. it’s very mo-
tivating and empowering,” says Kilgore.
With dance styles like hip-hop becoming
more popular, are the original dance genres
vanishing?
not so, says Gina sinclair, a dance teacher
and former owner of sinclair Academy of Per-
forming Arts. sinclair danced professionally
in classical ballet and musical theatre.
Brazilian waxing specialist
Iaso Bodyworks, downtown near Fort and Cook
1
Photo: christi Kay
“my ballet classes are full and i continue
to have lots of amazing opportunities to guest
teach, choreograph, and coach, so for me
the ballet business is still as busy as ever,”
says sinclair.
classical ballet is one genre sinclair says
will keep its place in society.
most trained in dance would agree ballet
is where the strength is found to increase
abilities in all other dance genres.
“Art will last forever. Art takes years
of training and perfecting. the charleston
came and went, so did the twist, and so will
hip-hop in the form that it is now, but clas-
sical ballet will outlast them all because the
training is core to all other forms of dance,”
explains sinclair.
Whether you take part in trained dance
classes, or simply move to the beat because
standing motionless in front of a live band is
just awkward, it’s clear dance will continue
to play a part in humanity for generations
to come.
“Passionate people will continue to be
dedicated to their craft, forever learning what
they can learn. We will continue to learn new
sub-genres of each style of dance ,” says
Kilgore. “Plus, who doesn’t want to learn
how to dance?”
new client special $30
Krista at 250-661-1562
A tale of two
dancers
stacy sanderson
age: 20
danced for: 18 years
Profession: Camosun College student, dance
instructor, and performer.
types of dance: Ballet, jazz, tap, hip-hop, mod-
ern, lyrical, contemporary, and theatre/stage.
Favourite genre: “I don’t know if I have a favour-
ite. I love lyrical/contemporary [a mix of ballet
and jazz], I’d have to say that’s my baby!”
why she dances: “I dance because I have to!
Dancing is something that is so physically
challenging, so artistically expressive, and so
rewarding that once you start, it seems stupid
to stop.”
on balancing work, school, and dance: “Dance
helps everything else. When I’m just going to
school or just working, I get very restless and
bored. But dancing stimulates the other parts
of your brain, your expressive, emotional, and
artistic sensors. I can concentrate better, feel
more alive, and have more energy when I’m
dancing.”
dance in the future: “I’m planning on traveling to
LA and training for a few weeks. Then I’m look-
ing at performing arts universities! Ultimately, I
would love to own and operate a dance company
based in Victoria that performs internationally.
I also want to finish a degree in kinesiology and
open up a training centre for dancers, involving
rehab, physical therapy, cross-training benefits,
and nutritional advice.”
laura Blain
age: 20
danced for: 17 years
Profession: Hotel Restaurant Management
graduate from Camosun College, International
Hotel Restaurant Management student at Royal
Roads University, and server at Cordova Bay
Golf Course.
types of dance: Jazz, tap, lyrical, hip-hop, the-
atre, and ballet.
on balancing work, school, and dance: “I have
definitely had to cut back on dance now that I’m
out of high school. College was harder because
I had co-op work terms, so I wasn’t in town
to take the dance classes and be ready for the
performances. Now in university I manage my
time well and I only dance three hours a week. I
manage to go to the gym still and work and get
school done, so it depends on the person. I love
being busy all the time.”
dance in the future: “It would be a hard industry
to get into and I want to make a lot of money
when I’m older, so I have decided to take a
different path. Now I just dance for fun and to
stay active.”
discover student life
Poets reveal their feelings, bodies
Alan Piffer
Staff Writer

M ost people would be terrified enough at

the thought of having to do anything in
front of an audience—but doing it naked? No
way! But that’s just what happens at Poetry in
the Raw—reading poems in front of an audi-
ence, sans clothing, and apparently it’s not as
much of a nightmare as one might think.
According to Missie Peters and Danielle
Ayotte, two of the performers, it’s actually a
pretty cool, liberating thing to do.
For Peters, the idea originated from
watching a fellow poet read nude at a party.
“I realized that, speaking this poem, his whole
body was poetry,” says Peters. “And I wanted
to do that; I wanted to have that experience.
It changes how you perform the poem, and
you become more aware, as a performer, of
your body.”
Originally, Peters only entertained the
idea of doing the show with a bunch of her
friends in her living room, but was persuaded
to take the idea further.

“Naked, it’s like

you’re totally out
there; there’s no
hiding at all.”
Danielle Ayotte
Participant

“I thought it would be fun to get a bunch

of folks together and each have the challenge
of standing up and performing naked,” says
Peters. “And it was like, ‘Well, why don’t you
just do it as a show?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah,
okay!’”
The main thrust behind organizing their
first event in 2007 was to make it a fund-
raiser to send the local poetry slam team to
a national competition. It turned out to be a
success beyond anyone’s expectations.
Photo: Courtney Clarke
CONT. >>>

Summer 2009 19
 a rt s
“When I talked to people, people said,
‘Wow, that would be really hard, but I’m down,
I want to do it,’” says Peters. “So we put it
on at Solstice [Cafe], and we sold out before
we opened our doors. We had people lined
up into Market Square, and we had to turn
people away.”
The group has since done more events in
2008 and 2009.
According to Peters, the huge positive
response from the first Poetry in the Raw
show was more than just the fact that people
were nude.
“I don’t think it was just because we were
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naked; it was because of what we were saying
when we were naked,” says Peters. “Someone
talked about having been a bully as a child,
and how they come to terms with that now;
someone talked about being a racist. I talked
about my mother’s chronic illness and how
I’m coming to terms with that.”
For fellow participant and Camosun
Creative Writing student Danielle Ayotte,
nudity creates a new dimension in creative
expression.
“I write because it’s very honest,” explains
Ayotte. “I think with other writers, too, it’s hard
to lie when you’re doing poetry. It’s always your
Photo: Courtney Clarke
own style, and naked, it’s like you’re totally
out there; there’s no hiding at all.”
Peters found it refreshing that audiences
were able to get into the intended spirit of
the events.
“I was amazed last year at the incredible
thankfulness of the audience,” says Peters.
“They understood what was being done; they
totally got it. And they were open to it.”
Ayotte says Poetry in the Raw allows
people to see a sense of beauty not shown
in mainstream media.
“It’s so rare that we get to see real beauty
and real people with freckles and pale skin and
dark skin and stretch marks,” says Ayotte. “If
you can speak beautifully and put your whole
body into it; that’s perfect.”
At Poetry in the Raw, many audience
members felt compelled to remove their
clothes as well.
“I think it’s because we created a re-
spectful, safe environment: we are all in this
together, this is a safe space,” says Peters.
“And when an audience member decides they
are going to take off their top, they suddenly
have no shield for the words that are being
said. And people cried. The audience will be
invited again this year, in a respectful way, if
they would like to participate.”
If anyone wanted to try stepping outside
of their comfort zone, they’d be hard pressed
to do it more effectively than by performing at
or attending a Poetry in the Raw event.
“You can do anything after that,” says
Ayotte. “You’ll move mountains, I think.”
discover student life
f ood

Worth the trip? The battle of on and off-campus eats

By Donald Kennedy AND GUY ALAIMO

Celery Generals Tossed Salad

Doncaster Road Campus Cafe, Lansdowne
Price: $10 (for all supplies) Price: $5.79 plus tax

Presentation and Presentation and

service
Donald: I’m a big fan of parking
lot picnics; they make me feel
rebellious (rebels don’t eat at
tables—they’re too busy being rebellious). Most people enjoy the sassy smile
of a jailbait waitress and the convenience of a plate. I’m just as happy eating off
asphalt and emulating Canadian icon Tom Green.
Guy: Now this is more like it. Taking something ordinary like a celery and cherry
tomato salad, and turning it into a fun, action-packed, and potentially life-threat-
ening activity. The asphalt was damp heading into action, so conditions were
grimy, and it was lunch hour, so the road was busy. But, overall, Celery Generals
XXI was a success.
Taste
D: After being walloped into the road, the generals slightly resemble the anal efflu-
ent you may find leaking out of a teenage alcoholic. Tastebuds are retards though,
and you can fool them pretty good by dousing your general in Italian dressing.
G: The chlorophyll from the fallen maple leaves on the pavement gives the casual
diner a nice little head-rush, which is a nice touch to a dish that mainly looks like
something you would eat while trying to commit suicide. I would also like to thank
comedian Tom Green for the inspiration behind this special activity.
service
D: Somehow I can greedily gobble
road tomato that looks like crushed
squirrel cerebellum and nary an
eyelash is batted, but eat salad at school and I start catching shit. It’s hard to
enjoy a meal when girls walk by saying, “God, this place is disgusting!” My pants
may be covered in chili stains, and lettuce may be shooting from my mouth like
blast bits from Ripple Rock, but I’d still like to eat with dignity. PS—Your face is
disgusting!
G: The dining area is a pigsty. I was noticing the overflowing garbage cans while
my lungs filled with the aroma of red onion fermenting on the floor. Maybe that
was the reason why lettuce flies in a frenzy off my plate as I try to gobble down
the uninspiring and downright boring dish that salad ultimately really is. Aramark
sets a bad example for cleanliness, therefore why should I care? Fuck you corpora-
tions, and fuck you accepted way to dine in public—Aramark sets the standard
on the way I live my life.
Taste
D: If you’ve ever had a bag salad, you know what this Campus Cafe offering tastes
like. Fresh, but not too fresh, and not much different from Celery Generals once
you dump a little Italian dressing on it. Raw vegetables aren’t exactly dynamic
balls of flavour.
G: It’s fuckin’ salad, seriously. What do you expect? I guess the Italian dressing
made the cherry tomatoes taste sweeter.

And the winner is . . . Tie! Italian dressing—the great equalizer.

Verdict: It’s worth the trip, but only because the ambience of the Campus Cafe nibbles on taint.

Look who’s eating too By Donald Kennedy AND GUY ALAIMO

Aura (The Inn at Laurel Point)
680 Montreal Street, 250–386–
8721
Point Burger
Donald: Aura first peaked my curiosity when I
discovered they had brought a Food Network
muckity-muck and a bunch of his buddies from
Calgary into their fold. As if the news that a
celebrity chef was making burgers in Victoria
wasn’t enough, the Aura menu also revealed
the kitchen was using a house-made bun for
its burger. Does anyone else in Victoria use a
house-made bun? I fucking doubt it. The Point
Burger’s pre-formed, premium Alberta beef
patty retains a surprisingly bold flavour and
is delightfully juicy. The texture and flavour of
the mushrooms is magnificently subtle, and
the house-made bun is—thankfully—light (if
Summer 2009
not a little too small for the patty). The only
condiment on the burger is a house mayon-
naise, which appears to have been mixed with
a smidgen of Dijon. There’s just enough mayo
to enhance the overall flavour of the burger,
but not overpower the patty. Despite a glut of
toppings, you’re never brought too far away
from what is a truly wonderful patty. I really
wish this burger was offered on a dinner menu,
because it pretty much blows away everything
else in town. As if the burger isn’t enough,
this place has an incredible hand dryer in the
bathroom. When I stuck my hand in it I felt like
Bill Paxton in Twister.
Guy: This is the best tasting burger I have
ever eaten in my life. The juices are dripping
like crazy, the mayo is expertly mixed with
the bacon and mushrooms; it’s just fucking
incredible. This is what $16 should get you.
According to places like Moxie’s and Earls, 16
bucks gets you a dry and tasteless patty with
a buttered bun. The Inn at Laurel Point does it
right. Every new bite is as savoury and delicious
as the last—the good times never stop rolling.
For a long time now, whenever I saw Donald at
school he would mention the burger at Aura,
and how much we needed to go. I remember
one week I couldn’t muster up the cash, and
his reaction was like watching somebody find
out they have cancer. Well, Donald is one for
building up hype around a burger and having it
come through. Another visit to Aura is already
long overdue.
Price: $16 (lunch only, 11:30
am-2 pm)
Verdict: We’re having a hard
time thinking of a better burger
in Victoria.
21
column
Giving it up
Music
The challenge
Give up music.
The reason
Music can be uplifting or soothing; it can
set or break the mood. In many cultures it’s an
essential part of who they are as people. But
is there a point to which music can be over-
bearing? From mall music to TV shows, and
now most ringtones, music is everywhere—in
an almost irritatingly, unavoidable way.
The rationale
There’s nothing worse than sitting on the
bus minding your own business while your
neighbour blasts Nine Inch Nails on his iPod.
Nothing against NIN or iPods, I just feel that
many people are so tuned out of their sur-
roundings and into their music that they miss
out on so much, like meeting new people . . .
and eavesdropping on cool stories.
The trial
Day 1: As expected, I ended up riding
the bus today beside some 15-year-old punk
blaring his tunes. Thinking ahead, I stopped
at the dollar store yesterday and picked up
some earplugs, which did me good until I got
to school and blatantly ignored my fellow
classmates. If I had worn my hair up they
would’ve seen the reason behind my silence
and apparent snobbishness, but tomorrow I
think I’ll be getting the cold shoulder.
22
Day 3: I had to bribe my family into
not playing any music for the next 11 days.
Unfortunately, I’m now stuck making din-
ner every night and I have to clean the
bathroom.
Day 5: I went for a run today and only
lasted about 10 minutes. Despite having a
scenic route, abundant with distractions,
it’s apparently not stimulating enough and I
ended up stopping due to boredom. I can’t
help it if music pumps me up and Missy
Elliot’s beats set my pace. Studies even
show that music can enhance endurance by
up to 15 percent and make exercise more
productive.
Day 7: Today I participated in the annual
Earth Hour, a time to vote against global
warming and minimize energy use. I lit some
candles, turned off the TVs in my house,
turned down the thermostat, and tucked
away in my room to enjoy the true rarity of
silence. I stretched for a while, did a few sit-
ups, brushed my hair, did a crossword, stared
out at the open sky, and listened to the wind
comb through the trees. It sounds boring but
it was really quite soothing, and boy does
every minute go accounted for when you’re
that aware of your surroundings.
Day 9: I walked into the mall. Then I
walked out. I forgot my damn earplugs. You
really can’t go anywhere these days without
hearing music. At the movies, in restaurants,
public bathrooms, the gym, on downtown
photo: Chris Shier
By Kelly Marion
Photo: Courtney CLArke
streets, even at my school! In the foyer they
were protesting violence against women
and chanting outside my classroom as a girl
was strumming her guitar. Having only one
option I did the unthinkable and built my
lair in the library—one place where silence
is truly appreciated.
Day 11: “Da da deedum da shingy bow-
wow.” Even though I can’t actually hear
music it still seems to play in my head. I
can’t escape it.
Day 13: Normally I do my work while lis-
tening to music because it keeps me relaxed
and focused. Yesterday I was forced to take
a different approach. For two hours I sat
at the computer accomplishing very little,
constantly being interrupted by cells ringing,
doors shutting, and people talking. Music is
a great way to shut off from the world; most
of the time this is a bad thing, but sometimes
it can actually be useful.
The result
I, like most of those in North America,
have grown so accustomed to having music
around me that it affects my efficiency and
mood. The world seems so much more de-
pressing without it and I don’t think I’ll be
giving it up for good . . . ever. The thought
alone gives me the willies. As Nietzsche said,
“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
Next
I’m giving up school and this column.
Peace Camosun!
discover student life
comic s

Phlegm Alphabet
by Shane Scott-Travis

Summer 2009 23
nexus returns to
our blue boxes
on Wednesday,
sept. 9 with a
new issue every
two weeks
For more info on Nexus,
or to volunteer for your
student newspaper, email
nexus@ nexusnewspaper.com
or call 250-370-3591

CAMOSUN’S STUDENT VOICE SINCE 1990

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