CEILING. Dcur QirIricrd, \e got in the car and droe on down to Columbus. \e walked into the John B. Amos Cancer Center and were directed to the inusion center. I was completely calm. I know \alker must hae thought aliens rom space had come in the night and taken oer my body, or something, because I was calm and smiling and cheerul. 1he power o prayer, you just can't beat it.... I didn't really know what to expect, but going into the inusion center was not scary. 1he room was ull o cozy recliner chairs. Leryone in there was laid back reading books, eating snacks, or working on laptops. A ew people had their eyes closed so I guess they were asleep. Most o the patients had one riend or one relatie sitting beside them. Some o these people were talking to their chemo buddies and some were watching 1V together and not talking. \alker and I were escorted oer to a recliner by a riendly young emale nurse. Mrs. Riers, did you remember to put some numbing cream on your port` she asked. \es, I did,` I replied. \ell then, just make yoursel comortable in this chair while I go get you some nice warmed up blankets. \e hae a blanket warmer and eerybody loes those warmed up blankets.` She walked away and I sat in the recliner. \alker sat down in the buddy` chair right next to me. In a minute the nurse came back with some toasty warm blankies and tucked me into the chair. Are you alright Are you nerous` she asked. I might be getting a little nerous,` I said. \ell, I put something in your bag that will take 142 DEAR GIRLFRIEND away that nerous eeling.` 1hen she cleaned the area oer my port, dried o the area and inserted a needle into the port right through my skin. Since I had numbed up the area with Lidocaine, I didn't eel any pain at all. \hat a relie! 1hen she attached the needle to a tube that was attached to my bag o chemo drugs and my happy` drug. Are you comortable Can I get you a sot drink or crackers, juice, yogurt, pudding Anything` she asked. 1hat happy medicine was already starting to take eect, so I just settled back and said, I'm ine. Just ine.` She smiled and said, Okay, you just stay put and our dietician is going to come talk to you in a minute.` I was starting to eel pleasantly woozy when a ery riendly lady approached my chair. lello. I'm Beth. I'm the dietician. \ould it be alright i I isit with you a little while` \e introduced ourseles and she pulled up a chair to talk to \alker and me. She said that usually on the day that a patient receies a chemotherapy inusion, they eel just ine, but on the next day or the third day I might eel nauseated and lose my appetite. She told me that Dr. Pippas had prescribed a wonderul anti-nausea drug or me. 1his drug is called Zoran and it is so eectie that some people call it Saint Zoran. I was listening to eerything she said, but Saint lappy Drug was making me a little sleepy. \alker was, as always, listening to eery word she said and taking notes. She was all about preenting my breast cancer rom coming back, by getting me into an anti- cancer liestyle. \e talked about what causes breast cancer. lrom all the research that has been done there are quite a ew things that doctors beliee contribute to getting breast cancer. Using hormone replacement therapy, lR1, can increase the risk o breast cancer in some women. It had already been determined that my body's reaction to estrogen was not a good one. Being oerweight and lack o exercise can increase your risk o deelopment o breast cancer. laing more than one sering o alcohol a day signiicantly raises the risk o breast cancer. laing close relaties who hae had breast cancer can increase your risk. But, since I already had breast cancer, Beth turned the conersation towards preenting another recurrence. \ou really can decrease your chances o breast cancer with your diet. \ou need to eat lots o dark leay green egetables like cabbage and Brussels sprouts. I want you to eat 143 SUZAN RIVERS blueberries, dark purple grapes and stone ruits.` \hat are stone ruits I asked. Stone ruits are ruits that hae large pits in them like peaches, plums and mangoes.` Is there anything else I can do to keep rom getting cancer again` \es. 1ake calcium citrate with Vitamin D. 1his is really important. Don't take calcium carbonate because it's made rom ground up oyster shells and can cause kidney stones. Make sure it is calcium citrate with Vitamin D or the best absorption. I also want you to take ish oil. It comes in a gel cap so you don't hae to taste it, and i you get enteric coated ish oil capsules you won't hae ish burps or indigestion,`she said. Is there anything else` I asked. 1ake a good multiple itamin daily, aoid white reined sugar as much as possible. Lat garlic. Garlic is a real anti-cancer ood. Just lie a good healthy liestyle. Lat your ruits and eggies, keep your weight down, exercise. Lat ground golden laxseed. Ground laxseed blocks the eects o natural estrogen on cells. Since your cancer was estrogen drien, ground laxseed might just be good protection against a recurrence o your cancer. It's great in smoothies. \ou can put blueberries, peaches, ground golden laxseed and lowat organic milk and blend them up together. It really tastes good and just might decrease your chances o a recurrence. \ou can actually buy a little smoothie maker that mixes up your smoothie right in the glass you'll drink it rom. I like mine a lot because it's so easy to wash. I hate the hassle o haing to wash a big blender or one little smoothie.` \ell, what do you mean by organic milk` I asked. I mean milk that comes rom cows that were not shot ull o hormones. \ou really should stick to meats and eggs that come rom animals that were not shot up with hormones. \ou need to stay away rom estrogen. Lstrogen can act like ertilizer to breast cancer cells.` \hat can she eat while she's on chemotherapy \alker asked. She can eat anything she eels like eating, but most people do well with ice cream and pudding, cold oods, light oods. It just depends on how she eels.` Can you think o some more things I can do to preent another recurrence` I asked. \ell, use deodorant that doesn't hae aluminum in it. Don't een cook 144 DEAR GIRLFRIEND in aluminum pots. Don't use cookware that has the nonstick surace worn o. Cook in glass, stainless steel or cast iron. And don't heat up your ood in the microwae in plastic. leat up your ood in glass. I you hae any questions just call me. lere's my phone number....` Ater Beth let, I stayed in the recliner about another hour. \alker was working on his laptop while I just sort o loated away with my Saint lappy Drug that was going into my body along with an anti- nausea drug and the chemo medicine. I was trying to isualize the chemo pouring into my eins like little PacMan creatures inding the cancer cells and gobbling them up. 1he time passed quickly and the sweet nurse who had hooked me up to the chemo bag came back to unhook me. So how do you eel Are you okay` I elt pleasantly drugged, just a little bit sleepy.... I'm ine,` I said as she took the needle out o my port and helped me out o the recliner. Now, don't orget that you hae to come back in the morning to get your Neulasta shot. \e hae to keep those white blood cells pumped up so you won't get any inections. 1ry to aoid going out in crowds where people will be coughing and sneezing around you and don't be hugging a lot o people through the holidays. \our immune system is going to be compromised and you hae to think about staying well. Len a cold can make you eel really sick when you're on chemo,` she said. \ell, I got a lu shot about a month ago,` I told her. 1hat was a good idea. 1he lu can knock you down pretty hard when you're doing chemo.` Ater I was all unhooked we let the center, got in the car and droe back to lairy Ring Cottage. I was waiting to see what was going to happen. I was waiting to see i I got deathly sick. I elt just ine in the car. \hen we got to the cottage, \alker built a cozy ire in the ireplace and turned on the lights on our little bitty baby Christmas tree. I must admit it had been a good day. All that crying and carrying on or nothing.... low do you eel` \alker asked as we snuggled up together under a blanket by the ireplace. I eel just ine,` I said as I lay my head on his shoulder.... In awhile he got up to ix himsel a snack and I stretched out on the couch. I was just looking up at the ceiling and I noticed a little bug crawling around up there. le was obiously lost. le was just wandering around this way and that way trying to ind a way to get back outside. lrom my perspectie I could see that all he needed to do was crawl oer to the crack in the door and go right on out. But, Mr. Bug could not see the whole 145 SUZAN RIVERS picture. le could only see what was right in ront o him. lis ision o the situation was so limited that he had no idea o the reality o the total situation in which he ound himsel. 1hen it hit me. I was like the bug. \ou are like the bug. Lery human being on this planet is just like the bug. A couple o nights beore I had cried and railed against God, I you are a loing God, why are you allowing me to suer so much \hy don't you just make this suering stop right now I you loe me why don't you heal me instantly!` I cried out to God. I got no answer, just silence. Now I could see the answer. \e, as humans, just like the bug, can't see the entire picture. God can see the entire picture. le sees me suer and he doesn't heal me instantly. le sees some people suer and does not heal them at all. And we think why \hy does he allow sickness and suering 1he only thing I came up with is that God can see the total picture and we can't. God looks at the whole picture and sees that our human suering, in some way, somehow, is or good. Just like when a mother is in labor. She suers through a great deal o pain, but in the end she has the joy o a haing a new baby. Suering is part o this lie on earth. Cancer causes us to suer, but God in some mysterious way uses our suering or good. I hae to beliee that is true in order to stay happy in this lie. I am like the bug on the ceiling. I can't see where I am going. I hae no idea where I am, out here in the cosmos on a rock that is spinning around a great ball o ire. I am surrounded by billions and billions o other spinning rocks and balls o ire that go on and on ininitely.... \hy am I here in this strange place, in this strange situation All I can do is hae aith that there is a loing God that knows why I am here, and le is using my suering or the greater good that is his plan or this unierse. I hope that when I go to heaen God will let me see the total picture. I hope that le will say, Look, I created this unierse and allowed it to become what it has become. In order or it to become what it has become there was great suering all along the way, but see my creation is good. \our suering contributed to that good.` 1hat would be heaen to me, just knowing that human suering, in the end, contributed to a good creation. 1he next morning we were up and out on the road to the inusion center again to get the Neulasta shot. I had a male nurse this time and it was no big deal. No pain. Use Lidocaine! Ater receiing the shot we 146 DEAR GIRLFRIEND droe on back to Macon. 1hat day passed and the next day too, but I really elt ine. On the third day I noticed that anything and eerything I tried to eat tasted peculiar. It tasted like metal. I had been taking my Zoran three times a day, een though I had not experienced any nausea. Dr. Pippas had told me to stay one step ahead o the nausea. Girlriend, I think that was some ery important adice. I took Zoran eery single day or the next three weeks and I neer experienced any nausea. Good ole Dr. Pippas or prescribing Zoran the "wonder drug". I did hae some ery bad indigestion that made me start to cough. I remember coughing so hard that I did actually throw up, but I was not nauseated one time during the whole three week period. Girlfriend advice: 1ake your prescribed nausea medication before you ever get nauseated the first time. 1here may be some other brands out there that work, but I'm telling you, Zofran worked very very well for me. You might want to ask your doctor about it! If you keep tak- ing your nausea medication you might get lucky like I did and never get nauseated the first time. 147 SUZAN RIVERS GOING BALD. MAMA, YOU LOOK LIKE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. Dcur QirIricrd, I went on with lie as usual because Christmas time had rolled around again. I had to do all my shopping and wrapping presents, decorating, cooking, etc., while I was doing chemo. Like I told you in the beginning, cancer does not gie you any time out. Lerybody still expects you to do what you always hae done beore, een i you are doing chemo, and you will not want to disappoint them. Right beore Christmas, 2008, I was diagnosed with cancer. 1he next Christmas, 2009, I had already had the lumpectomy, radiation and was taking 1amoxien. I thought I was cured so we had a ery good Christmas that year. Unortunately, my cancer came back. 1he year 2010 was illed with that heart wrenching news, the bilateral mastectomy, the staph inection, the implant ripping out and being remoed , the hole in my chest that took ie months to heal and now chemotherapy. \hat next 1hank God the we can't see too ar down the road.... A ew days passed and I woke up with my entire scalp slightly aching. I didn't know that that was a sign that my hair was about to all out. As the day wore on, I realized that i I pulled on my hair eer so slightly, a ew strands o hair would just come right out. But, it was two weeks until Christmas and I had major shopping that I still had to get done. Lerybody wanted to keep up with my treatment on lacebook so I posted this: 1oday my hair started to all out. I'm araid I'm going to look like one o those Sea Monkeys that you could order out o the back o comic books 148 DEAR GIRLFRIEND when I was a kid. \ou were supposed to just drop the magic tablets in water and the sea monkeys would grow. 1he picture in the comic books was o this creature with huge eyes and a big bald head. I'm araid that's going to be the new me.` So een though I knew my hair was about to all all out, I just absolutely had to get my Christmas shopping done. Mama makes the magic. \ou know exactly what I'm talking about. I didn't hae the luxury o sitting around eeling sorry or mysel, I had to pull o Christmas. So I went to Barnes and Noble and ran into a riend o mine. My hair, at that point, didn't really look much dierent because I was so careul not to touch it. I I tried to brush it or tug on it eer so slightly, out it came. But, it didn't hurt at all. \ou would think that it would hurt to pull it out, but it didn't hurt one little bit. So, when I ran into my riend, Cindy, at Barnes and Noble she said, Now, I don't beliee what you put on lacebook, your hair looks just ine!` At that I just reached up and pulled a glob o hair right out o my head. Oh my God! I beliee you!` she said as she grabbed the hair out o my hand and crammed it down into her empty paper coee cup that she was about to throw away. \e didn't know what else to say so we just busted out laughing. 1he whole scene was just crazy. I spent the rest o the day doing as much shopping as I could because I knew that the big eent was about to happen, and I wasn't sure i I was going to be in the Christmas spirit ater going completely bald. 1he next day I woke up with my scalp really aching badly. On the day your hair alls out, your whole scalp really aches. Beore I had a chance to let that little reality set in, I also discoered what eery woman knows is the worst thing eer... I had a bladder inection. I barely made it out o bed and into the bathroom beore the urine, which elt like burning liquid ire, started to come out o me, as you well know, three drops at a time.... So, there I was, sitting on the potty, in complete misery when I unthinkingly ran my hand up through my hair and a huge wad just came out in my hand. I thought I would die. I managed to get to the medicine cabinet and thank God I had a bottle o Pyridium to stop the burning sensation when I urinated. \hat a mess!!! I was unable to get ie eet away rom the toilet without haing to go again, and my hair was just coming out in big wads i I just touched it at all. 149 SUZAN RIVERS I called Lori, my nurse naigator, and told her what was going on. \hen you're doing chemo, it's common to come down with all kinds o inections. I'll call some antibiotics in to your pharmacy. I know you're upset about your hair....` At that point I was just about in tears. Lori added, 1his is just going to be a hard day. I'll phone you in some Xanax to calm you down. Oh,and don't shae your head, I don't want to risk your cutting yoursel and getting another inection. \ou can just brush your hair out with a clean hairbrush.` So wasn't I just in a pretty ix Sitting on the potty while liquid ire dripped and my hair doing the grand inale act o all alling out. Girlriend, I neer in my lie dreamed that I would hae to go through something this awul. But, whateer happens to you, hold onto the thought that it is only temporary. \ou can make it! I wish someone had kept on telling me that. I just remember waiting and praying that the Pyridium would take eect and stop the burning,at least long enough or me to get to my grocery store pharmacy to get the Xanax beore I had a complete nerous breakdown. And let me add right here that mothers at Christmas are not allowed to hae nerous breakdowns!!! So, I just sat there until the burning sensation stopped and then I headed or the grocery store to get my prescription or Xanax illed. \hen I got inside the grocery store, I ran into another riend, like I had run into Cindy at Barnes and Noble. \hat was so unny to me was the exact same scene was played out all oer again. 1his time it was Julie who said, Suzan, your hair looks ine!` At that I just ran my hand through my hair and another big glob came out. Julie reacted the exact same way that Cindy had reacted. She said, Oh my God!` as she grabbed the hair out o my hand and quickly stued it down in her pocketbook. 1hen we both just cracked up. \hat else could we do I don't know why both Cindy and Julie elt compelled to grab my hair and hide it, but that must be the proper etiquette or the situation because that's what both o them did. So I went on oer and got in line to pick up my prescription that Lori had called in rom Dr. Pippas's oice in Columbus. 1he line was long. Very long. As I stood there, I realized that eerybody in line was coughing and sneezing all oer me. I kept thinking, \ikes! I'e got to get out o here beore I catch the bubonic plague!` I stood in that line oer a hal hour. \hen I inally got up to the counter, I 150 DEAR GIRLFRIEND told the girl that I needed to pick up my prescription or Xanax, which had been called in rom Columbus. 1hen she said ,I'm sorry, but I can't ill anymore prescriptions today because our serer just went down.` At that point I had just about had enough. I said, Look, I'm on chemo and my hair is alling out today. By this eening I'll be completely bald and this has gotten me ery upset!!!` At that I reached up and yanked a huge glob o my hair out right o the top o my head. I just stood there holding that big glob o hair in my hand and said, I really NLLD that Xanax!!!` \ell, girlriend, I hae good news to share, prescriptions can still be illed een when the serer has gone down.` \ou hae neer seen anybody put pills in a bottle aster than that poor girl did. I guess she thought I was going to blow up the grocery store, or at the ery least take out a gun and shoot her. I looked at the people who were standing in line behind me and all o their mouths were just hanging wide open. One lady understood what had just transpired and she said, Don't you worry, honey, I'e been through it mysel. \ou're going to be just ine. \ou're just haing a bad hair day!` I think that was an understatement. Losing my hair was making me wig out! I got my Xanax and antibiotics and droe on back to the house. I took a Xanax and tried to calm down. I went and got the wig that I had bought ahead o time, at the breast cancer boutique, or this special occasion. Ater awhile I elt alright. Better liing through chemicals.... I decided that I needed to get rid o all the rest o my hair beore I scared somebody else. I called two o my college-aged daughters into the bathroom to help me. Okay girls, we're just going to take these two new hairbrushes and brush all o the hair out,` I said. My daughter Laurel immediately sat on the loor in the lotus position and started to meditate, Oooooommmmm.` I said, \hat in the world are you doing` Oh Mama, I'm going to hae to go to therapy ater this!` she replied. My other daughter, Blythe, just sat quietly on the side o the bathtub. I starting brushing and singing the theme to lair. Blythe took up the other brush and together we just kept on brushing and brushing while the hair ell out all oer me and all oer the bathroom loor. At irst I looked like a moth eaten sweater. 1hen in a little while Laurel just started laughing. Blythe had not said word one through this whole drama, but I could tell she 151 SUZAN RIVERS was trying hard not to laugh. Laurel was laughing hysterically. So I said, \hat's the matter with you Laughing at your poor little Mama losing all her hair` Laurel said, Mama, look in the mirror. \ou look just like Benjamin lranklin!!!` It was so true. All the hair on the top o my head and about hal way down was gone, but the rest o my hair was straggling down to my shoulders. \ou know what \ou're right. I do look like Benjamin lranklin. All I need is a pair o those natty little spectacles....` 1hen all three o us just howled. Blythe and I continued to brush until Benjamin was gone. \ow... what a shock.... linally I said to Laurel, \hy are we laughing I look like hell!!!` Laurel said, I think this is like when people laugh at uneral receptions. 1hey laugh to keep rom crying.` \hat she said was true, and I realized how grown up both o my college girls were by the way they helped me that day. 1hen Blythe just took the wig and placed it on my head. Laurel said, Let's call her loxy.` So I had a ake breast named Marilyn` and a wig named loxy.` I looked in the mirror to see i there was any Suzan` let. Blythe brushed loxy` out all nice and pretty and Laurel handed me some long, dangly, sparkly earrings. I put on the earrings, stared at the new me in the mirror and said, Cancer, go jump! \e're haing un with this....` 1hank the Lord or daughters.... Girlfriend advice: Before you start chemo, have your doctor prescribe Pyridium just in case you get a bladder infection. 1hink ahead and talk to your doctor about meds you should have on hand to make chemotherapy a lot easier. Buy your synthetic wig before your hair falls out. Practice wearing it before the blessed event happens so you will feel more comfortable with your new hot look! 152 DEAR GIRLFRIEND SEX? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!! Dcur QirIricrd, My last chemo was lebruary 3, 2011.\hen I had my irst MRI ater I was diagnosed with cancer, the test detected masses in both my bladder and my kidneys. I then went to a urologist that did an ultrasound and determined that I had polyps in my bladder and cysts in my kidneys. le said they were quite common and nothing to worry about. I mentioned this to my oncologist ater I had chemo and he said, Ater age ity, cysts in the kidneys are ery common. 1he only way to ind out i those polyps in your bladder are benign is to hae them taken out.` So or my peace o mind, I had those polyps in my bladder remoed in April, 2011. 1hey were benign. 1hat was surgery number ten. My urologist told me that to hae a healthy urinary tract, I should drink cranberry juice or take cranberry capsules daily. Since I started taking cranberry capsules eery day, I hae had no more urinary tract inections. I highly recommend cranberry capsules to eerybody I know. I made sure that the capsules contained no soy protein. All the itamins and supplements I take hae no soy protein because soy protein contains estrogen. Soy oil, which is in just about eerything you buy, is supposedly okay, but it's the soy protein that you might want to aoid. 1alk to your dietician about soy. I aoid estrogen like the plague. 1he next month, May 2011, I went back to my oncologist, Dr. Pippas, \our cancer is estrogen drien. I really think you need to hae your oaries remoed and change oer to Arimidex to block any estrogen in your body.` My irst thought was that I might just go ahead and hae a complete hysterectomy. I went back to my gynecologist, 1eri, and told her my idea. 169 SUZAN RIVERS \ou don't want to hae your uterus remoed. I I take out your uterus, you could hae problems with bladder control. Don't worry. Breast cancer doesn't go to your uterus.` So surgery number eleen was scheduled to remoe my oaries. 1his surgery was a piece o cake. I your doctors want you to hae your oaries remoed, don't be araid. My surgery was done laproscopically and I had no pain at all. I was up and around the ery next day. 1he problem with haing my oaries remoed was the aginal dryness that ollowed. 1his was no small problem. I was araid that i I had my oaries remoed, I would hae no more sex drie. I was araid that I would eel like a spayed cat laid out in the sunshine... and actually that might hae been easier. I I could manage to get past only haing one breast and haing puppy belly hair, then my next obstacle to haing sex was to oercome that awul aginal dryness. \hen I say dry I mean the Sahara Desert had nothing on me. Any attempt to hae sex was so excruciating that we just gae up. Sex is absolutely impossible, we hae tried eery lubricating product in the drugstore,` I lamented to one o my girlriends. lae you tried olie oil` she asked. Olie oil low in the world am I supposed to get olie oil up there` \ith a turkey baster` I just looked at her and we both laughed. I'll hae to think o something else.` \alker said, \hat about \D-40 1hat always works on rusty hinges.` Now, you see why you should go to your girlriend or adice. I know you're getting desperate, \alker, but I better not try the \D-40.` Oh, well, it was just a thought...` he said. Ater trying eery single product at the pharmacy that did not contain estrogen I was out o ideas. \alker and I mentioned the problem to Dr. Pippas. I was totally embarrassed and humiliated, but was desperate enough to ask him i we could use Ora-jel internally to numb the pain. Ora-jel would be sae to use or pain. Vitamin L oil or olie oil would be sae to use or lubrication. Don't gie up. Keep on trying,` 1hat was easy to say but diicult to do. Lery try` ended in tears. It was absolutely horrible. I think painul intercourse was probably one o the worst parts o the whole breast cancer battle. I you are haing this problem, all I know to say is slow and steady wins the race. Don't gie up that special part o your lie. Just keep on trying until you can manage haing sex. Don't let cancer strip that away rom you too. 1aking little out-o-town trips, just the two o you, 170 DEAR GIRLFRIEND really will gie you a chance to relax and enjoy being alone together. \ou can ask your doctor about Vitamin L aginal suppositories. 1hey work better than anything else I could ind or aginal dryness. \ou can order them through your pharmacist or online. Vitamin L oil is also ery helpul. It's one hundred per cent all natural and contains no extra ingredients that could irritate your skin. Another problem I experienced ater haing my oaries remoed was my skin tone. 1o be ity-our, I was still pretty irm. Ater my oaries were remoed, I noticed that I started to eel sot. My muscle tone just started to go and I elt like a delated balloon. I couldn't exercise as strenuously as I needed to until all o my surgeries were ar behind me. Girlfriend advice: If you have your ovaries removed and you can't have sex due to the pain and your body feels like Jell-o, don't jump off a bridge. Keep saying those magic words, 1his is only temporary. 1alk to your doctor about painful intercourse. Start exercising as soon as you possibly can after surgery to firm up your muscles. 1hey don't call haing cancer a battle` or nothing! Breast cancer will try to take eerything rom you. \our inner peace. \our beauty. \our sexuality. \our personality. \our lie. Don't let cancer win! \ou hae to keep on ighting. Don't gie up! 1ry praying to the loly Spirit. 1he loly Spirit will gie you strength and peace o mind so that you won't just throw in the towel . Ask or peace and it will be gien to you. \hen you irst wake up in the morning, pray this simple prayer or yoursel, No pain. No ear. No death.` Pray this simple prayer all day eery day wheneer you are eeling down. Also, try praying this simple prayer daily: loly Spirit dwell in me.` One day you will wake up, and much to your surprise you will eel better. 171 Copyright 2012 Suzan Riers All rights resered. No portion o this book may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any orm or by any means without written permission rom Suzan Riers. An exception is granted or brie excerpts taken or reiew purposes. ISBN-13: 98-148251251 ISBN-10: 148251252 CreateSpace Press, 2013 1O CON1AC1 SUZAN RIVLRS: suzanriersbellsouth.net www.acebook.com,suzan.riers.1 www.amazon.com,author,suzanriers www.smashwords.com,proile,iew,suzanriers