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IDOLIZING YOUR WIFE Based on Prov. 31:10-31By Pastor Glenn PeaseWe are conditioned by life in our culture to be more conscious of thenegative than the positive. The news is largely a focus on the negative, and weare made by the media to see life as tragic and full of accidents, murder, andendless blunders of one sort or another. You have to go against the grain to sayto yourself, thank God for the millions who did not get murdered last nightalong with myself. Praise God for all the cars that didn't get hit. I rejoice in themillions of homes that did not burn, and for the millions of children who gothome safely, and for the many businesses that did not lay people off. Goodnews is ten thousand times more common than bad news, but it does not makethe news because news is devoted to the unusual.What this does, however, is make us a problem conscious people, and this isa hindrance to praise, both of God and of our mates. There are dozens of thingswe appreciate about our mates, but like the news reporter we sniff out the realstory which is the negative, the weakness, the blunder, the things that aggrevateus. The husband comes home from work and he brings home the groceries hiswife asked him to pick up. But he brought home the wrong kind of beans. Nowhere is a wife who appreciates her husband. She appreciates his working andhis willingness to go out of his way to pick up groceries along with dozens of other good points, but when she sees the wrong kind of beans, what is the newsflash?Idiot husband blows it on beans.That is not what their life is all about at all-the kind of beans they eat. Butall of the dozens of valued characteristics are pushed out of sight, and thisminor blunder becomes the rock of Gibralter sitting on their kitchen counter.That is the news, and that is where we focus. Not on the 142 times he camehome with exactly the right order, but this present atrocious blunder. So whatif it represents a mere fraction of life? It is now the headlines for the day. Shemakes a federal case out of his stupidity, and he forgets all he admires abouther and says she never appreciates anything he does. In seconds they have anhonest to goodness news worthy conflict.This is what news is: the unusual exalted to the level of such prominencethat it dominates your consciousness. This is what people are made to do, andmates often do it for nothing. Has your mate ever said, "You never do anythingto help me!" This comes right after she has asked you to pick up a piece of lintoff the floor. Because you have a higher chair and a lamp in your hands yousay, "I'll get it later." That lint becomes the news. It is all that matters now.
 
The sun, the moon, the stars, and all your labor of love over the years is blottedout, and you are nothing but a non-picker up of lint. It is not all lint for alltime, but that particular lint which is now the news.What I am trying to illustrate is that as mates we become problem orientedrather than praise oriented, and this distorts our perspective so that we see lifelike the news. The mini-negatives stand out like an eclispe of the sun, and themaxi-positives fade into the background like a sliver of a moon. Reversing thisperspective is not easy, but it is the Biblical goal, and Christians need to work atthe praise perspective if they want the blessing of Christ in their union ratherthan the burden of the culture. The question is, what do you focus on in yourmarriage-the newsworthy or the praiseworthy?The difference is that the praiseworthy partner has their focus on the unusaland the typical and the commonplace which is in no way newsworthy, butwhich is what their life is all about. The positive values they share day by daythat make life enjoyable. The massive number of little things you appreicate,but tend to take for granted. The Bible authorizes us to be people of praise, not just in our worship of God, but in our relationships on the human level. In ourtext of Prov. 31 we see a marvelous wife and mother, and this is a hymn of praise to her. In verse 28 her children bless her and her husband praises her.In verse 30 it states that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Verse 31says, "Let her works bring her praise at the city gate."In the space of four verses this woman; this wife, and this mother is praisedthree times with the same Hebrew word that is used for the praise of God allthrough the Old Testament. No other person in the Old Testament receives thismuch praise, and what this leads to is another example of how the romantic andthe religious are linked. The nearest thing there is to the love of God is the loveof a man for a woman. That is why marriage is used in the Bible to illustratethe love relationship of God and His people. The nearest you can get is the loveof a husband and his wife. The language of praise to God cannot be matchedexcept by the praise of a man for the woman he loves.This same Hebrew word halal is used of the pretty woman in the Song of Solomon 6:9 where it says that even the Queen and all the other women praiseher. Then in 6:10 she is described: "Who is this that appears like the dawn,fair as the moon, bright as the sun, majestic as the stars in the procession."That is wild extravagant language usually only acceptable in reference to God,but allowed by God on the lips of a man in love with the girl he considers themost beautiful of beings on earth. It would seem that God permits men to comeclose to idolatry in their love for, and praise of, their wives. The language of human love uses the same vocabulary as is used for the love of God.I adore you.I worship the ground you stand on.You are my angel.You are the light of my life.
 
It's heaven to be in your arms.Even knowing that men would often choose their love for a woman over theirlove for Him, God still permits this kind of love to be acceptable. Adam choseEve over God. David chose Bathsheba over God's will. Many others in theBible did the same thing, all of which has led to a vast literature of an anti-feminine nature blaming women for all the evil's of the world. They can evensound valid until you look at the attitude of God. In spite of all the risks Godpromotes the devotion of men to women, and especially their wives.Prov. 5:18, using the same Hebrew word for rejoicing in the Lord, says,"May you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Paul went as far as language cango when he wrote in Eph. 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ lovedthe church and gave Himself up for her." It is shocking, and it would borderon blasphemy if it was not clearly Bibical that we are to present our bodies asliving sacrifices unto our wives. We are to rejoice in our wives always just aswe are to rejoice in the Lord always. We are to offer unto them also thesacrifice of praise.God will not tolerate any rival among the gods, yet He will tolerate and evenencourage you to treat your wife like a goddess. God has exalted romance tothe highest level in His Word. The essence of worship is praise, and the essenceof romance is praise. It is the beauty of God's being and His loving acts thatmotivate us to praise Him, and it is the beauty of the female and her loving actsthat motivate us to praise her. Just as we are happiest in our relationship toGod when we are praising Him, so we are happiest in our relationship to ourwives when are praising them.The formula for revival and a renewed fire in our love for God is praise.The same formula is the key to renewing the fires of romance in our marriage.Praise is a form of power that works wonders on all levels. The secret tokeeping the fire of romance alive is praise. Those mates who cease to praise canplan on living with a lot of cold ashes, but those who practice praising will bekept warm for as long as they live. To praise is to love. Anything, or anyone,you love you will praise. If I love a certain kind of candy I will praise it, and letothers know of my appreciation. If I think Estes Park, Colorado is a place Ilove to visit, I will praise it and tell others of its beauty. Love is expressed bypraise.Those who do not love the one I love will see their defects. They will focuson the news worthy aspects of their being and doing. The matters that havegossip value. They talk too much, or they are too shy, or they lack maturity, orthey lack depth, or on and on. But love is blind to the defects because of thelight of what is praiseworthy. It blinds them to the minor defects, but reveals tothem the beauty of the major values. The highest level of romance is when allthe negative realites are as nothing, and you are overwhelmed by all that ispraiseworthy.
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Glenn Dale Pease

IDOLIZING YOUR WIFE UPLOADED

reply08 / 04 / 2009
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