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Love Potion Lotion

Love Potion Lotion

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Published by sachisaurus

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Published by: sachisaurus on Aug 06, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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08/05/2009

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BETTER OFF TEDLove Potion LotionWritten bySachiGeorgieva7400 Hollywood Blvd. #502Los Angeles, CA 90046(650) 291-6301aw.sachi@gmail.com 
 
INT. TED’S OFFICE - DAYVERONICA swings open the door as TED is examining his face inthe mirror. He moves the mirror to reveal a new look --rather than his usual clean-shaven face, he has a very thinline of hair that extends from the sideburns and along thejawline and into a pencil mustache.Upon seeing it, Veronica furrows her brow.VERONICA Nuts.TED(slightly worried)I know, it’s a little flashy for me, right? But I thought --VERONICA Please stop yourself from whatevertangent you’re about to begin. I wasn’t commenting on your valiantattempt to manscapeyour face. I’here to talk to you about nuts.She holds up a JAR OF ASSORTED NUTS labeled “NUTS.”TEDOh! Nuts?He takes the jar from her and commences eating a few.VERONICA They want an anti-aging cream madefrom nuts. Or a nut. They didn’tspecify. Something organic, or thatpeople will think is organic.TEDPretty sure we can do that.VERONICA I don’t get it. Why bother whenthey’ve already come up with botox?Don’t get me wrong, I’m all forconserving the planet, but it’s notlike the real problems are going tostart until way after I’m deadanyway...As Ted listen to Veronica launch into a tangent of her veryown, Ted’s V.O. kicksin.
 
TED (V.O.)A few months ago, Veridian Dynamicscame up with a “green” division toappease the board. Evidently,someone suggested that too many ofour developments were destructive --INSERT: pictures of SMALL EXPLOSIONS in Veridian Dynamicslabs, BIGGER EXPLOSIONS at Veridian Dynamics testing sites,HUGE EXPLOSIONS from Veridian Dynamics-made bombs.TED (V.O.) (CONT’D)So they thought what better way tobalance it out than to develop waysto help heal the destruction?INSERT: video of OLD-MAN-IN-CHARGE cutting the ribbon to openthe new division, a green sign behind him reading “GO GREEN,”a bored Veronica watching from the side as the audienceapplauds.TED (V.O.) (CONT’D)Despite Veronica’s fervidobjections to the idea, she wasoverruled.Veronica is now finishing her tirade.VERONICA So if we can focus on building bodysuits that can help people sustainthe conditions of the futureunstable ecosystem, then we should.Anyway,(with faux enthusiasm)“Go Green.”TEDGo Green.Then, as a separate thought:TED (CONT’D)Allergies.VERONICA I’m sorry?TEDNuts are one of the most commonallergens, should we be worriedabout that?2.

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