Name: Jess, Meg and Pheobe

Title: Influxx

Comment: Music video Opening shot works, I wouldnt make Parr the third shot, maybe a two shot with Ellie then Parr alone. Shot 4 has too long a gap until the vocals, something has to happen. 42 secs why isnt Ellie singing? Maybe avoid windows due to serious back light dominance (otherwise the shot is fine). 1:02 her looking out the window with her back is weird, the radiator doesn't help. The next shot I agree is hampered by the chain in her head. She looks more convincing on the stairs. Parr out the window also weird, solo in hall great (exquisite framing) except for chain in head. Shot at 1:22 to slow to move, too much lingering on her abdomen. Id continue the shot up her body and avoid CU of lips. Parr window shot is bizarrely good. Again she should sing when in the two shot with Parr at the window. Chair shot ok but Id have them more to the right of frame to make it more interesting. The movement shots at the 1:40 mark are good but again the pause in the next shot is too long, maybe cut to Parr on lips sealed. Big lighting issues at around 2:042:10. Eyes shot a bit weird then subsequent shots are out of time. 2:31 timing issues and continuity with lighting. New staircase is nice, maybe use instead on main stairs for sitting sequence. At 2:46 the walking is graceless, she should float and then maintain vocals in subsequent shots. Let go of the banister when walking down stairs or maybe ditch stairs due to no smoking sign and uneven symmetry of the building. When she is doing something the video is more interesting. Try and make her eyes track the camera as it moves around her but keep her head static. She doesnt suit cold and aloof, shes more engaging visually when happy and smiling (though not too much). Annoyingly I like the window at night shot. Continuity issue at end when walking out door. Maybe include intro and outro text and branding. BIG TIPS Make her sing Do something with Parr, hes too static Ensure continuity of lighting and time of day Consider framing issues Video: 30ish/40

2013/2014 LC A2 MEDIA