190

CarnaRrrue A. MAcKNNoil

rerulsion. Black rvomen arc turther from bcing able concrctelt to achievethe standardthat no woman can er.erachieve,or it would lose irs point. 2 1 . A n n e l i o e d t," fh e n rl th o [th evaginal.or gasm,' inKoedt.r a/.,RadialFeni nl r 4pp. 198 207;T i Gr ac c Atkinson, Yaginal orgasm as a nrasshr.stcricalsun ilal response',op.cit., pp. 18. 22. ShereLlite,TbeIli*R,porl: -1 ir',iionifu\)nrlya,l Fentah.ltxtra,ir4',Nes'\'ork:DellPublishingCo., 1976; pp.257 66. '1973, 2-3. Jean Paul Sartre, Exis/eulfulPslc/toara/1'sis, trans. I-lazel E. Barnes, Chicago: Henn' Regne4 Co., p. 2[1.A similar treatment of 'r]csrre'occurs in Deleirze and Guattari's description of a man as 'desiring machine,' of a man in relation to the object s,orld: 'Not man as the King of creation, but ratheras the being tvho is in inrimate contact s'ith tbe protbund ilte of all npes of beings,rvho is responsiblefor even the starsand aninral life, and rvho ceaselesslv a treeinro plugs an organ-machineinto an energv-machine, his body, a bterrstinto his mouth, the sun into his asshole; the erernalcustodian of the machinesof the unir.erse,'(Deleuze and Gttauar\,, Irtti-(hdiprr,p. 4). Realizingrbar s,omen, sociailv,inhabit the object realm tansforns this discourse into a quite accuratedescriDtionof the teminist analvsisof women's d c : r rrb tl i l r ru m,tn - rh c br cr st r n thc nr , ,ur h, r h< encr gvmachiner nt,, r r hi c h he c eas c l es s tv pl ugsan organ machine. Iixtending their encpiry inro the extent to vhich thjs kind of objectihcation of u,omanis specific to capitalism (either as a proccssor in its particular form) does litde to redeem the sex-blindness (bliod to the sex of its standpoint) o[ this supposedivgcneral theon. \\'c>menare not desiringmachines, 24. Peter Berger and Stanler,Pullberg,'l{ci6crtion ancl the sociologicalcritique ofconsciousness,'Aira,/zrfl Ra'ien, 35, Ian. Feb. 1966; I lerbert \larcuse, "fhe fbundation of historical materialism',ln J:hldiet iil Citical PhikwplL,t,trans. Doris De Bre s, Bosron: Bcacon Prcss, 1972; I{ad lilare, 'I-au-l\Iaking as Pra:iis,' 1}/or 12 2, Srnrner 1979, Pp. I 2)-)5, ttp p. I ) l. 25. Istr an \Ieszaros, J.{an i 7'bconaJ.-llienatiat, [-ondon: ]\[e rlin Press, '1972;Benell ()]lman, 4lierution:Ilau't Canctplion aj'lldil in Ct?ii,tliil.lorcn,,London: OanrbridgcL'niversin'Press,1971;H. Ilarcuse,Erorarrl C'iillitalior: -'l Plti/osopltiaiLrquirl iulo ftnud. Neu' \'ork: Random House, 1955, pp. 93'-l., 10'l-2.

3.2 ,IT'SEVERYWHERE' Violence as a Continuum Sexual

Liz Kelly

ltrtsbeera kE,fauts of concem kxtalyiolence dlilz,tgfeltlittists, aary of't'lton ltale nade.otttt,,ioil.t pmctice.LQKelll, etplicit!1teillP/lJ'r hhuen nten's sexualtbtrse0f il'ln/eil and roatinehelercsexm/ atntlilt-r li'o? of a c0ntittilutilin orderta aila/1tse n'6nrt,t't tttt'otlttt.t of tlteir experience. Tltese lhirlea rdillph of :ixj,Bilish n'onen. 7-be nolion of a cottintrrnt i.r not trsel ltere fille(tedfrlila t'0/uilleer the loiup!,that slillefonilr oft,iolenceare ttlre extftille lhau otbers,but in orr/erto entphasise thert. ngilaities ande$,ingdit,ercefomts of altuseand lhe inlercouilectililrbetu,een

The continuumof sexualviolence rangesfrom extensions oi the myriad forms of through to the all too flequent murder of wornen sexism womenencountereverlr6l2y girls by men. rnd t...J

TxeTxnenr oFVToLENcE rNPuBLtc, Fusgrruc nrvo OsscrNe PHorur Cnus

three tbrms of sexual violence are discussed together as their impact hinge s on These women's perceptions of u'hat might happen ne\t. \\'hilst flashing and obscene phone are in and of themselves violating, both relf in part f<rrtheir impact on tl.reexplicit calls orimplicitthreat of further assault.The link is benveen tl-regeneralized fe ar that rnost vomen experience and forms of visual or r.erbal violence that acce ntu:rteir. All are also intrusions into r-vomen's personrl space which transform routine a,nd/or unwanted potentially pleasurzrbleactiyities (for eramplc, a v,'alk in the parli, a quiet e\-cnintj rr
ili | 'ir,ltu;t,Cambridcc. LX.lty, .Urri,rrr.o .le^-ra/ Polirr, 1988.

192

LE KEttY

'h'sEvtnywnrnE': Vroleruce AsA CoNTINUUM SEXUAL

193

home, a long train iournel) into unpleasant, upsetting, disturbing and often threatening experiences. The continuum of fear and threat extends from being limited to particular times, The extent areasor individuals, through to affecting all aspects of women's daily Lives. herecan frame the time time; ovef to which it affects anlr particular women changes women in of The wariness be minute by minute, week bv week or longer periods. t hepublicsph ere ca nb eheight enedb) ' an, . . , ar e. ' es s of a s s a u l t s i n t h e i r l o c a l a r e a o r , more genefally, by media feporting on a national level. \Xihilst actually in the public ' of sph'ere, the behaviour of indit'iclual or groups of men can affect women's sense safety. NIost women recall an awareness of being watched or possibll' followed.It is . tl-rese perceptions and re alities that rcsult in women fteling they have to be constandy' aware of their environment, u'atching ancl checking the behaviour of men thevmel refer' encounrer, rr\,lng ro predict their rnotives and actions.Two ieminist researchers : to this as a'Geography of fear' tl.rataiiccts all wornen and rvhich becomes a'geographf oi limitatio n'.r \\rhilst having been sexualh' assaulted is like lv to make women feel less safe,allthe belov of tl-rethreat oi violence. The rvomen speaking women inten ierved we re auTarc had not experienced stranger assault in tl-republic spl-rere' 'Rape zi consranrh' at the back of m1' mind u'hen I'm in situations v'here I fed, vulnerablc.' I : 'I don't go out at night, I'm a cowarcl, but then it can happen in the daytime. of -. tl.rink we're all ven aware these da1's,through the media, of the very realthreat rape, not just to oursehres but ,,, oa,. otu.t .laughters, our friends, our mothers,'. \Vgmen who had experienced sexual violence in the home, particularly incest,wec more Likelv to f-eelthat nowhere rvas safe. ,I in don,t think you stand mucl-r chance really, 1'ou're no safer whether 1'ou're the house or out of it.' vui' The experiences of ilasl'ring recr>rdeclin the interviervs revealed considerable exPoswq arion in the form of tl.re assault. Irlasl-ring may onlf inl'olve a sudden of male genitals; it ma1' be preceded b)' being followed or be succeededby being chased. Tl-re abusive man nrav make I'erbal remarks, oi an apparentlY innocuous kind to get women's attention, of a sexuallV ProvocatiYe nature, or which involve explicit threats oi ir-rrther violence. He mav also be masturbating. The contextil which incidents took place also varied considerablr', ranging from the stereottp of a park or srreer at night, to dal'time exposufes on rrains or buses, in pubs through to the rwo young w()men rvho were exposed to bV relatives in thei,. own home s. 'I was abroad and mt'claughter was har-ing a tantrum and I said "Looklm going!" and walkecl off. I turned round to look at her and there was this blolc lter. I grabbed l.rer.I almost got violent with her becausc masturbating ,1ustbehind

shewas still carrying on. He just keptfollon'ingusand every time I looked round hewas there. He followed us until we went into this cafe but that wasn't vefl, nice because the cafe was full of men.' 'lt was near mv house, and at {irst I didn't realize rvhat was happeningThen he shouted at me, something about rape - I can't remember exactly - and I saw. I started to run and he chasecl me right into our garden. I thought afterwards hou' lucky I u'as that my house rvas round the corner.'
t' 'l

'l'r'e wondered wl-retherit was an accident, br-rthe was sitting clownstairs playing with himself. He must have heard me coming dorvn the stairsand he dicln't stop - so he must have rvanted me to see.'

tl
experiencesof flashing took place u'hen the u'omen were children or adoles[I[]any ccnts. Any explanation of flashing must take accolrnt oF this fact. Do men rvho expose deliberateiv seek out vounger, therefore more vulnerable, females?Is part themselves oftheir motivation to be )'oung women's first encounter with an erect penis? Do thev get a'kick' out of terrorizing/confusing,/upsetting )'oung women - using their pe nis ' rsa hostilethreat?

tl
,\t the time, women did not experience flashing as a 'minor' crime. As children, were oiten very frightened; as adult women, thei' fclt personallv violated and they . the uncertainh. of what might happen nert createcl iear and tension. \\'hen won-ren rcflect on their experience rvith the knou'ledge that nothing else happenecl ancl that . I flashing is not generally taken seriousl,v,tl.re1'dismiss or nrinimize the fear and or distress they felt in order not to appear paranoid or to bc over-reacting to a 'trivial' incident.
L" l

t.l

: It is impo.ta.tt to remember that altl-rough further violence rray not be intended women cannot knorv this until after the e','ent. Incleed, being f<;llowed or chased sugests that in some circumstances flashing may be a preliminarv to tr-rrtherassault. from recent studies of sex offenders has shorvn that manv began ofiending Evidence $exposers and moved on to rape, sexual assault and/or sexual abuse.2No woman is,therefore, in a position to know at the time of an incident oi flashing whether tl're rsaultwill be Limited to exposure. The threat of further violence is, in iact, a ven' .l Obscene phone calls are an example oi predominantly verbal violence. Their impact on women is a combination of the invasion of privacy and the explicit ot inplicitthreats of further violence that are made. \{ihilst abusive callers seldom use theword'rape'they assume a particulady intrusive form of sexual accessto women. Itis a form of intrusion which, at least the tirst time, women cannot anticipate. Itisthis, alongside the intention to shock, humiliate and frighten women, which thesecalls a form of sexual violence. They are experienced by women both i. uukes

19 4

LE KETTY

'lt's EveRywneRe': SexuArVtoLENcE As A CoNTINUUM

195

as a specific fbrm of the threat of sexualviolence and as violating in themselves. Calisv2;.6 over a number of dimensions,some appearingto be random,isolated others seriescalls. Some were obviousll' made bv men who knewthe T:t*::,
The initial reacrion to a call which includes verbal abuse is often one of shock.This rapidly changes into either anger, wl-rich allows women to respond in some way,or of fear. Flowever rhey responded, all women felt that their personal space and sense self had been violated t. . l It was as much the uncertainfy of rvhat the call meant, as the actual content' rhat concerned women and preoccupied them afterwards. Did the man know them? If their name was used how was it known? Did he know where she lived? If threats were made about other forms of sexual rriolence, would thev he carried out? 'It wasn't the actual fact that he was being obscene to me, it was rvhetherhe knew me, or how he got my number. That's the thing that worried me. \Xhether it was at random.' he actually knew who I was or rru'hether 'I got quite worried about it because I thought he could see me - just because it happened a couple of times fust as m1' husband went out. I thought he was watching from somervhere.' t "I As with flashing, women often telt that they had over-reacted at the time. It is only in retrospect, horvever, that tvomen can be sure that no further action will be taken by the man.

assumptions of intimacv rhat rvomen felt were inappropriate a,ncl/or inyo6,ecl pc1 [eatingwornen as sexual objects. 'He sat right next to me, inten'iev'ed me and hlrlivay through he grabbed m1, hands and started fondiing my hands, and I had to carrl/ on the inrer-viewwith him holding my hands! v'hat could I do - I wanrecra job - I rvasottrtit.qrtl.' 'They would put their hands up vour back and ping 1,our brn, put tl.reir hands inside vour jumper. You just used to tn' and isnore it. \\'ell at that poinr t clicl, I'r'e perhaps changed my mind now. It seemed to be part of office cLlture to be mauled bt' the older male members of staff.' 'tr{en at work - conrmenting on the wa), \rou clress, the slrape of yr>ur legs, the size of your bum, i,6u1 bust, logking up y,our sliirt every opportunity they got.' 'Some 'would stand realll' close, breathe down 1.ciurneck, put their lrms rouncl the back of the chair - tl.ratsort of tlring makes vou feel realll,uncopforrable. Thel' nst.. did it to the other men in tl.reoFflce., 'I hate it in the l,rcal pub, rvl.ren thel- look at you 2rs iither.are stripping \()u . . . or men who sit nexr to 1'ou and want to touch 10u, I can't stanclthat.' None of tl-re behar-iour listecl above would be cle{rned in law, or bv thc \\()men themselves, as serual assaLrlt. No doubt, manl' of the men c<-,pcernrd rv,,r_rlcl iine cle theiractions as either'just being friendly'or'harmless fun'. This was not hr_r.,v rvr>nrcrr erperienced them. Bv defining harassmentas normal, men justilti'their behar.iourantl when it is cl.rallenged are able to dismiss (reacrreclefine) rv.men,s pcrcepti.ns. Lin Farlel' sutgests that men use particular krrms of sexr-ral harassmentt6 cliscourage women from entering male presen'es in the labour market.3 Such strrtegics consdrute a refusal to treat u;omen as co-u,orkers. -fhis wonran was one of the first women to u'ork on the local buses in the torvn shc lir.ecl in. '\\'hen I rvas rvorking on the buses I rvas harassecl. E'errfir.rrh, in tlie depot considered anv woman rvho r.v.rked there as up for grabs or up tl,r comment.' r . . .l Thefrequencyand tbrm of harassment at work clepenclccl, to solre extent, on hou, hrwomen'swork role rvas sexualized. Aspects of *,onren's work mzr1, be clependent onattractiveness and display: for example, reception and secretarialwork. The u,ork iiruations of lvomen in the sex industry are totalll'sexualizecl, and the mosr cxrreme examples of harassment at work were experienced by the nvo rvemen whr.rhaclrvorkecl inthesexindusrry. 'I wish I had a pound for eve{' time I got called a slag . . . Nine times otrt oi ren you walk onto that stage knowing 1'ou're goung to be slagued o1t. 'l-he :rrtenil.rn that you get is essendally hostile not flattering . . . v'hene'er grorps .i men camein, irrespective of their backgrotind, they would all behave in a rcn-rarliably

t.l

t...1

Asseutr AND SEXUAL Hnnnssnaerur SexunrThe point at which sexual lrarassmentbecomes sexualassaultis not clear.Therewas a considerable area of overlap in the definitions used bt' tlie \\roffIen intervierved, There was one distinction, horvever: sexual harassment in\.olved a variable combina' tion oF visual, r'erbal and physical forn.rs of abuse; assault ahvays invoived phvsicd cont:tc1. Visual forms of harassment inclucle leering, menacing staring and sexualgestures; verbal forn.rs include whistles, use oi innuendo and gossip, sexual joking proposirioning and explicitly threatening remarks; phvsical forms include unrvanted proximity, touching, pinching, patting, deliberateh' brushing close, grabbing. Anv harassnrelttnray contain visual, 't'erbaland phi'sical elements. incident of sexr.ral The most cofi)mon forms of harassment recalled by rvomen took place at wort or in the street. Some women, how-ever, ga\re very clear eramples of similar forms of treatment in other situiitions. All u'ere erperienced as intrusive and involved

t.'.1

196

Kru-v Lrz
They'd similar way . . . Some of the things they would say were rea/!, disgusting. her'' up bottle a push and try and a gd hold of do things like gtab

'lrs EvenywxeRE': SExUAL Vrouruce AsACoNTINUUM

197

assault shadesinto sexual harassment; the other into rape. $7hat characterized sexual assault forwomen was physical contact and the intention of the man concerned. 'Just /ast neek r was cycling along when somebody reached out of his car, gabbed my bottom and tried t<> shove me off my bike, which is very sexual ancj aggressive.' Therewere a number of examplesof men abusing their professionalstarus,includingan optician, teachers and driving instructors. Sorne of these incidents rvere clefineci assexual harassment,others sexual assault.In each case,the woman rvastemDorarl' dependent on the man's goodwill. This made responding angrilv more difficult, rs dij thefact that the assault was alwal's totally unexpected. t.'.J Themajoriry of attempted rapes by known men involved acquaintances rather dran friends or lovers and just under half occurred on hoLiday. 'It was one of those situations on holiday with friends u,hen everybody pairs ofT and disappears. I was left with this bloke waiting for the orhers ro corle bacp. I spent rhe rest of the evening rvith him. He started to cuddle me irnd then he pushed and he pushed and he pushed and rvas trying to have intercorrse with me. I spent at least halt an hour having to keep him off n.re. I hacl a lot of flashbacks to it afterwards when I went back to school, feeling absa/trte/1,

this The experience of the six women who had worked as barmaids suggeststhat sexual that felt job sits uneasily benveen display and sexploitation. Each of them right to h^r"rr*..r, *r, p^r, of the iob. N'Ialecustomers and co-workers assumed the make sexual remarks and sexual advances. ,working as a barmaid vou get this thing that vou are pubLic ProPeftv, you're the and glrl behind the bar. If 1'ou look at the bar, most of the people there are men time'' of the a lot undertone sexual whole there's that the The extent to which women's work roles are sexualized and the sex ratio in \What consider men workforce affect the forms and frequency of sexual harassment' an'l acceptable treatment of strippers would not be acceptable tfeatment of barmaids, in acceptable what is considered acceptable in the latter case would not be routinelV has an oflice. What me1 are able to get awav with in male-dominated environmen$ to be moderated in mixed sex and women-dominated work siruations. t...1 Street harassment was a common experience for manl' of the rvomen interviewed' Through srreet harassment,men deGne and treat women as serual in an aggtessive Nie., *ho do not know women assume the right of intimac,v and/or sexualaccess. -av. ,l experiencea degree of sexual harassmentI would say soft of once a week... how it varies in intensiiy, some I remember particularly, others. . . . It depends street'' on the define it, some of what I mean would be just shouting at You \ror,r all ,It's something that happens so much - you iust experience it on the stfeet to mean.' seems doors of out the time. It's almost a background of rvhat going .In verv England they have this favourite thing of 'Cheer uP love" which I find verv it find I and something about thinking I'm when It's usually annoving. maybe it's Although me. to attendon paY saving know I don't Someone intrusive. a ve{r 6ins1 forn-r, it's extremely annoving''

t. l

Petifed''
A disproportionate number of women's recollections of flashing, sexual [arassment andsexual assault occurred whilst they were on holiday.. Indeed, a considerable number took place abroad and some women explicitiy referred to the conllicts and contradictions that had arisen for rhem concerning cultural differences. A feu, women made overdy racisr remarks, suggesting that particurar groups of men of colour were , bynature,more sexually aggressi'e. T'hese remarks are a variant of a more common tendency to define 'q,pes'of men as potentialll,r,iolent.In a racist culture,race is ezrsily Eansformed into a '6'p6'. In attempdng to explain the clisproporrionare inciclepce 6[ assaults whilst on holiday, rhree possibilities occurred to me. The figures mar,.be an rrtifact in so far as women may be more likelv to remember incidents which take place outside of their dailv routines and in a context in u,hich ther- expectecl to relax ancl enioy themseh'es. Alternatively, rvomen may, in fact, be more vulnerable in situations :' where they either relax or are unable to refer to and use their routine prcc:r1rtit-rnary , strategies. Finally, men may, across cultures, share a construction of foreign w()rnen morel'ulnerable and/or more 'available'. f'his sufesrs that foreign women in the . as tlKwould experience British men as more sexually aggressive than men from their

t . .r

womeq The final quotation illustfates the continuum of experience ver!' clearly' For surface, the on sexual harassment ranges from ph,vsical assaults through to rvhat, throu$ that fact appear to be innocuo.,s-iemarks. The meaning behind the remark, the if men deny women the choice of which individuals to interact and communicarc . with and the intrusiveness of the encounter are what defines this, for women' es hatassment. The expectation that vr'omen should be paying attention to and grati$ing this men, rarhef than preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns, undeflies kind of intrusive ness.

j. country of origin.

ot cleadyreflectthe continuum category assault The incidentsrecordedin the sexual which otherwomen in the street, rangingfrom being touchedby strangers experience within sexurl continuum the of end One rape. to att;mpred harassment, definedas

t.l

PRessuRlzeo Sex, CoenoVE SEX AND RAPE

' A numberof feminist writers have argued that one of the key problems in 'proving' rape in a coun of law is that forced or coerced sex are comffton

Lz KeulY

'lls EveRywxtRe': Sexuar Vroleruce asn Corulruuuvr

199

r98
rLrI) arrarlo_^ experiences tor women".

o'i""Jl' which rs intercourse "t'

"#;' ;*: ^ Til ff iili : :::.#; ff ;"5f i::l .":J"': i::f :"#i :i H;; il:;;i J;::T [:*;:':::'d .1'^,i:. :r"::*# "",:'i separated deriberatelv ;-;;P", I ho"' :i o"'"";';' HilSi?; n'n:ffin'J' * "#;l' :' ;.l', : ;:,:ruff :T the :::1, H:'" : :^:,""::",:"T;ii:f; to retain " and politica\ inrportant " .o.,..p,,,oiiu ::[T:T'::l."ii'l]'h;
'uq'
,"--.i.,'.r^r" ..,.a..*^1 sex. i','nfu::-'^::::::.'::.:':oves

PaulineBart

through

'I went on holidav with this man and I knen, that it was expected oi me but I didn't want it. So I just gritted my teeth and did it because it was expecred and I couldn't really sa1'no.' Vhen I rvas living rvith N{ark, I'd come home From rvork and I'd be shattcred. I'd just want to go to bed and sleep. He'd start cuddLing up and touching me and I'd think "oh here we go again". It rvas like a dury, rhat was sort of pai'ing the rent. I had a roof over my head and that was what I rvas expected to par'.' of obligation existed fbr women in marriage or long-term

altrusitic sex (women "t] :'^-:l;i-':;:;,,"".., tt" (t:".^t,"-lj::"".:t.,." saying no), to con-rpliant

it are f,r, *o'-,.'"t of not doing ,."p^rrt.d 5 I have deliberately

.rum of non'

LUrrLLyru.4J ---altruistic consensual sex. lt 1s Dottl ruof altruistic 'flc .ereqofles of - - The categortes -t -.--. sex' -r",t..ies 1^^^+ -- reasl' consensual l-reterosexual leasl' ut ^f at "' ::,::";;; , , - --. .^,.nor " .f Posslbllrt)" Posslblhty' oressurized sex' The categorv of pressurized L4!"b".ri.rr.i, u] rrr-) ^^rp.-r\nr covered.by co\rercu are sex being compliant compliant an,1 and -.1 \r,nmen described described as being women cover exP to --r''ut'?l:-,^^-.c rntroduced was sex of coercive 'iike rape'' -

A further form relationships.

--L^-'-1-^+1".]ncrrmentedthestillexistingdoublestandardibr

ovet toqirlsas:.exploitau".;;;;;;".ritical.Girlsareptrrsued,,'.i:i:::roughly,for withdrawing from.' "lto"' *1"" tnt-l'gle in''7 -ftx'::x*:H"'":T:i^Tj':.Tffi;..ifi,.-'.iv,r'',des]cribesboys'attinr&s t'rt"nltJiptd and-labell.etl favours' their sexual end of this
three-quartets of the t";;";;i;^'ie$'ed recalled being on the receiving expioitatil,ernalesexuaiitydurirrgtheitadolescence. what you call violence ,He was ne'er vrolent or an1'thing - but he - it depends with tt""^gtt' when vou're ft"*u' ^ i" "" pushy "ot-tto go iurtltJr sexually ' ' ' There\ 'ftt "'l"-"t'y"*this constant -h"t' p'""t" your bo1'friencl tl.rere's about how vou feel borts needing *- ""a ?ortiu'ion about thing constant this abo ur it''

'There are even occasions in my relationship now when I don't particularly want to. ...I t e n d t o a c q u i e scem o r e o fte n th a n n o t....I th i n k th a t's a probiem that women har.e. !ile fincl it difficult to sai'no, particuiarly if vou feel you'r'e been agreeing, that there's some kind of tacit understanding thar \,ou are

Thesetacit agreements and obligations are seldom made specific, which prrrtly eccounts for wl-rv they are so difficult to challenge. \\'omen often felt unable to assert their interpretations or needs in the face of male assumptions. Within relationships, many women recailed rimes rvhen having ser was a price the1, had to pay to impro'e the situation, receive aifection, and/or pre\.ent tl.rerrpartner behaving in particular wa1'sthat upset lhem. 'I wanted the cr-rddles, the touching, but the inrercourse rvas rhe thing r.ou had to do for that.' 'I had a number of relationships in u'hich I seemed to be unde rp re.r.rure ancl d'nt rvasn'twhat I rvanted, but I did want the affection.' 'Generalllin relationships I'r'e telt that I've had to do it ro save m\:self rhe trouble of persuading hin-rnot to want it. I would do it because it rvas easicr than spendinga u.hole clavu'ith him sulking about it.' 'l knerv that ii he didn't have an orgasm he rvould acualll: bc terrib/y bacl tempered.FIe u.as an emotionally violent sort of persorl, I kncrv ii I rvantecl a quietmorning it wc-ruldbe best jr-rstto let him. . . . l\.tr,god, I'm glad I goc ,ur r,i thatrelationshiJr.'

t.l

u"ant,to actuallv. 'I clicln't ":l :::jT^#T"i:",'l*o..H.J;I"it:: see him and not

verl because I ctluldn't and then him being taking no for an answer' eadv on n-l ""t sho cked whe ,'r-'e,u* t hlt ldidm eanno' I r v as n, t jus t so c a l l e d . . m e s s t n g about"'' d deep relatiorrships' don't think thev wante pre ssurized girls f()r sex'.I

'Nlost bovs ti-reir card'' They walltecl a score on

do It u'as like you had to rveil most of the time' 'Airvays there u'as Pressure' something to satisfY tl-rem'' .

P ressu recon tinu ed int oadult lif e, as didt his s ens eof o b l i g a t i o n t o m e e t m e n 's sexual.needs,.Speci|rcobligationsweretncurredforwhicirPaymentwasassumedt0. from the proverbid ofl women' ri-t "ngt of 'i"'utiot" be sex 'r,'hen men sPeflt sex fits some aliruistic Bart's -*ty or paf ing hilli'Jav a to two, intemalizc dinner for 'tlt.""''-Put'tine of responsibilitv women .,"i t"ttiat these experie"tt' o*;;;;' 'r-tt ",.'tt for sex' ior satisfying men's desire ' Ir-rse dto fee lterr ible' I t ' s lik ewom enf eelr es pons i b l e f o r m e n 's e r e c t i o n s ' Yo u're co nd itton edint of eeling' f t ^' ' S"' I donian\ r m o r e 'I c a n s a y " l t 'l l g o worry"'' (laugirs)

I I Ptessurized sex involved women assessing the costs of refirsingser. Paste>:pcricnce idth a man or other men resulted in the feeling that to sav no ahvars had negativc: consequences. \{'omen frequently had sex tbr men's pleasurc rather thzrn their ou'n. 0nce a sexual relationshiprvasestablishe d, the majority of men assumcdsexualaccess; ttrvas not something u'hich inYolved negotiation and rvomen's right to sa\- r1()was tddom openlydiscussed, let alone accepted.

200

LIz KELTY

'lls EveRvwueRE': SExUAL VtoLENcE As A CoNTINUUM

201

The general socialization of women to place the needs of others before theirown and natural-istic models of sexualiry where needs (usually male) ate given the statusof biological urges or drives result in many women internalizing a sense of responsibility for men's sexual pleasure. Hence, women find it difficult to say no to sex. Moteover, they realistically fear the consequences of saying no. In addition, it was obvious that many men assumed the right of sexual accesswithin heterosexual relationships.They it clearly also wanted to control when sex took place and what forms of sexual practice was to consist of. NIany women expressed considerable anger when discussingment hlpocritical refusal to respond to women's desire for sex if it was not what they,the men, wanted at the time Whilst many of women's discussions of pressurized sex referred to a genetal experience within one or a number of relationships, incidents of coercive sex were specific events: experiences of forced sex that women did not define as rape at the time of the inten'iew. Men ignored women's physical or verbal resistance;explicit pressure,often including the threat of or actual physical force, was used. The majority of the men were known to the women and much of the difficulry women felt about naming these experiences rape was linked to this fact, particularly if the relationship had included consensual sex in the past., r
t" 'l

'I remember an occasion where he wouldn't let me get up, and hc was very strong. He pulled my arms over my head. I didn't put up much of a srruggle. I mean I wouldn't have seen that as rape because I associatedrape with strangers, night and struggle. I didn't put up much of a stuggle, b''t r didn't ilrtlt r0, so tn a sense that was rape, ;re5.' Three othet v/omen who lived with violent men \vere coerced into sex by one of theirpartner's friends and lived in fear of him finding out. In each case, the woman evenrually told her partner and in each case she was held responsible. This woman rs describing what happened after she told her ex-cohabitee; '\x/egot ro the flat and he dragged me into the bedroom ancr- ohh I just wanted him to go, I just wanted him to ger our. Then he forced me into bed, rracle me have sex with him and he scratched all my back open. Then he got a tin of deodorant and spral'ed it into every scratch (sighing and upset) then he started laughing and said "Go and show that ro your boyfriend,,.' The assauits that women defined ;;: took place in a range oi contexts and ^r therapists were in tange of reiationships to the women. A minoriry of the rapes ^ werewhat have been called 'blitz rapes', where sffangers took adr.antageoi the fact thatwomen were alone. A far greater number took place in the context of day-todayinteractions with husbands, lovers, boyfriends and fathers. others were more obviously planned. one man pretended to arrange a modelling session.Another took awoman'spurse and ran off with it knowing she would follow him. c)ne woman's exboyfriend went out to make a phone call while she was visiting his flat; rvhen sl.rele ft, hislriends were wairing outside and she was gang raped. The rwo quorarions belor.v illustrate two other siruations in which women were raped by men the1,knew. The hrst womanwas sta]'irig with a married couple, both her friends, and had been drinking withthem during the evening. You know that feeling when vou're iust out,I was completely unconscious. The next thing I knew I woke up - I rvas in bed with nj, ba!ry son- and he was acruall)' raping me tben.. . .I can remember saying to him "\Xtrat are yolr doingl,, and lre went "Sssh" - great! (ironic laugh). And he got our of the bed and left.' 'I'd iust split up with this boyfriend who had been hitting me and I was feeling quite hurt about it. This friend srarted paying atention ro me and in a way it was a bit of an ego boost. He came round to my house. we were watching w. Suddenly he was undressing me. I tried to stop him, I was pushing hinr away . . . in the end I thought "I'll iust go dead".' In both cases male 'friends' took advantage of siruadons in which women had absolutely no reason, at the dme, to suspect what was later to happen. The assaultsby strangers took place either outside or as the result ofaccepting a lift. Everywoman was aware that accepting a lift from a man was a risk but felt safe due to specific circumstances or because the alternatives involved greater risk. For example,

'Where do vou define rape? The pressure to have sex was so overwhelming. .. I was made to feel guilty. It isn't rape, but incredible emodonal pressure was put on and I wanted that man out of my room as soon as possible.' 'I didn't say no, I didn't dare to . . . you know you don't want to, but you are still doing it. 'lhat's why in my eyes now it's rape with consent. It's rape because it's pressurized, but vou do it because you don't feel you can say no.' 'I couldn't call that npe . .. I mean there was that one bad case of it. He'd forced sex on me a number of times, that's what I would call taking a woman for granted.' 'The early time that I would say was * ohh - bordering on rape was a friendof * a married friend in my first marriage. He used to come round and pestermea hell of a lot and I didn't know what to do about it. Basicallv becausemy husband was violent to me and I knew he'd ki// me, he'd blame me as well as the friend when he found out. I was dead scared of the neighbours seeing the car. I didnt have the strength to say fuck off in those davs and in the end used to makelove just to get rid of him.' \'Vhat distinguished some incidents of coercive sex from rape for the women was that they did not resist after a certain point. 'No not rape . . . not in the (sighs) . . . not actually physically forced to havesex, onll' . . . coerced I think, Yes'' She added later in the interview:

202

LrzKeuY

'lls EveRywteRE'; SEXUAL VtoLENcE As A CoNTINUUM

203

a ypung woman and her friend had missed their last bus home. It was raining anda man offered them a lift. Thev feit safe as there were rwo of them' 'He .lrnnne.l m' frisnd off first and before I could even thiak he'd driven off to this deserted heath.' Another woman was hitching on the continent rvith a male friend. The man giving g r^ge. them a lift drove off leaving her friend ^t ^ The forms of sexual practice the rapists forced on women and their use of physical violence also varied. Of the rapes 85 per cent invoh'ed forced sexual intercourse, 31 per cent forced oral sex and one woman was raped anally. In eight rapes, consiclerable physical violence was used by the man. In a further eight, threatsof violence were made. In 13 cases the women rvere held down and one was tied up. Only rwo rapes involved weaPons, in both cases a knife. In rwo cases,biutal sadistic violence was used. The majorit-v of women became fearful of physica!ir,iury when their initial resistance failed to deter their attacker and they stopped struggling making further r.'iolenceunnecessan'. The fear women experienced, Pafticularlywhen raped by strangers, was fear for their lives although no specific threat may have been made.

Sexual aggressionexperienced in childhood and adolescenceincluclecl abuse by adult strangers, acquaintances and relatives.There were also a number of inciclents whichinvolved male peers and siightll, older: bo1,s. 'I was about 7 and a 12-year-oldbo\, f16- down the roaclused to terlolize me. First it rvas pull up vour dress and I rvouldn't because I k.ew u,hat was comrns next. Ir rvas like a battle of wills for about 15 minutes and I was ebsolr,tely, terrified . . .lt{,t sister and I Lived in fear. \\'e came our of schoor ancrloolicd to make sure he wasn't there., tr{any children have memories of being bullied. \X/hat makes rhis situatron, and t5c manysimilar ones gids experience, sexual assault is the combination of ser ancl aggresslon' I l 'I remember uncles coming or.er and me just feeling uncomfortable ab.ut them. Now I knorv thet'rvere rubbing themselvesup againstme ancl thirrgs irhe that. I knerv it *'as dirn' and horrible and it used to make me srr,clder - n'*, l know u,h),.' '\Yhen I rvas around 10 or 11 ml aunf's fiance rvas alu,avs rc_,uchir-rg r_r-re rrp. I just didn't like it. I told him otTabout it. I linou' he dicl it ro mv niece as *,ell rvhcr was \roungerthan me .' 'I was molested *'hen I rvas about 12 bv nv goclfatl,rer. ... I ar/t,r.et/ hirn, he rvas a father figure. He'd inr.ite mv sister:ancl I ,,r rrrr. in a posh hotcl along with his son rvlro rvas a couple of years olcler. I Ie s,ould star-r embracing yolr, but then ger \rer\- rough, put his arms riglrt round - I acl.red rhis affection. But lben he started puming his hand under my swearer ar.rd holclins ()nro m\J breast and taking mv bra off. I rvouldn't get inro the lift alone t,ith ltim lttt,tnrt I didt't il'attt t0 lte ua/esled. I u''asn't terrified bw I ditln'i enjov it. Nh,sisrcr tolcl me recentlt'tl.rat he used to come in fronr his bath cirlicr nll;ecl or in his pyiamas u,ith I'ris prick hatryiw oat (,angetancl disgust) and he wquld srand 6r,cr my sleepingsister and she would open her eyesanci bc staring straight int6 rhis man's penis.' These women's experiences are similar in some respectto thosc deflncclby n,6men as incest in that the abuseinr-olvedan extensionof affection.The re u,ete also a numbe r of incidents involving strangers thar rvomen recalled as being ven frightenir_rg ancl

t. l
This secticin has demonstrated that many women experience non-consensualsex on a recurring basis. It is a minority of such experiences that are defined by women as rape. The number would be even smaller if I had appiied cuffent British legal definitions of rape ro the intervier.vdata, and smaller still if we only took into account It is those rapes which were reported to the police and recorded in official statistics. not possible to make clear and precise distinctions between pressurized sex, coercive sex and rape, but the concept oithe continuum both validatesthe abusewomen feel and the shifting boundaries berrveen these categories as their ou'n understandingsand clet initionscha ng e ,rver t im c .

t.l
AND lNcEsr oFGrRLs Asuse Sexunl
'Ihe connections between child sexualabuseand incest are in one senseobvious.Nlanv have defincd incest as a specific tbrm of child sexual abuse.V'ithin this researchers genet'al linkage, there are also more specific ones. Both may involve a single assault or repeated assaults b)' tl.te same abuser. In both, the nature of the assaultsranges tbrough fbrms of unwelcome intimate contact, as discussed in the section on sexual harassment, to flashing, to getting a giri to undress, to touching her body and or genitals and/or getting her to touch the abuset's bodv, to masturbation and rape.The girl may be gentll.encouraged, bribed, tricked, pressured, coerced or forced to take of abuser is ahvays knou'n to the girl, manl, clf the examples part. \{'hilst in incest t1.re peer may be a the abuser In both cases child sexual abuse also invoh'ed known men. older. or an adult, one ()r rwo generatic.rns l t. . .l

disrurbing.

'we'd built this rree house and this guy cl.rased me inro it. FIe dicln't do anything to me bu-t he was shouting that hc rvas g.ing t, purl knickersdorvn and stuff. I remember that it quite frigitened me'r1, at 'ir.idly the time.' 'I'i'e just rememberedan experiencewhen I was 12 wltich rca/1, disturbed me for about nvo It rvas onl1,in m1, nventiesthat I courcre'en ''ears.

204

LE KETI.Y
the reason lt was talk about it. I was molested on the underground and to undethorribie was because I was at that age where I was oid enough playing me opposite was sitting man This child. a still stand and yet I was a ruce' Being m,e' to talking and friendly being with a c^mer^, iust started thought I hand' my holding started He friendly polite child I respondeJ. it away. It was uhh uhh this is a bit off, but I was too polite to snatch

'lrs EveRvwxene': Sexual Vrouruce AsACoNTTNUUM

205

attitudes and forms of control to those common in the lives of women who haci not exPerienced incest' r. , .r The maioriw of women were Frighrened of their fathers. Some had grod rcas,rn to be. In the case of others, the reasons why they ttlt fearFul were less clear. l\,Ian1, abusive aspects of relationships with fathers emerged during the interviews; fatherdaughter incest u'as the extreme end of a continuum of father/d,mghter relationships. W'trere incesruous abuse was b1'adult relatives other than biological fathers, these men wetealways in some form of 'social father' relation to the girl: step-iather, morher's boyfriendor the adult maie in the household. The majoritv oi the experie.r.., o,o-f,n l.Gn.a as incest involvecl men rvho were theirbiological or social fathers. one rvoman u,as abused by an older male cousin overa period of about a vear, one bv her grandfather rvhen she was living with her grandparents temporarill. and one woman by a combination of uncles anci lodgers. In thefirst rwo casesabuse took place over the relativell' short period oI time that the girl andabuserlived in the same household and in the latter case there rvas a succession of abusers, rather than abuse over a long period by the same man. There were no examples of brother-sister incest in the interviews, but this iorm o[ incest ma]' rvell beof longer duration as siblings,in mosr circumstances, live in the same househr>lcl untilthev leave home as adults. None of the women had anv idea about the possibilitl' of abusebetbre it l"rappened to them and ten picked up no signs before the abuse began. [lomen [. ' .] defined aspe*s or ,r,. ,i,,rJ as rape and anorher rhree as attemptcd rape. For several women, the interv.iew was the first time that they had named tlreir experience in this rvay. Not even- woman could re member horv long the abuse lasted for.It tended to last longer if it began in early childhood. For rwo women, ir u..rs a single experienceof rape, although the threat that it n.rightbe repeated ren.raineduntil they left home. onll, rhe rvoman rvho u,as hrst approached when she was 15 knew thatthe abuse was against the larv at the time although five other women felt it was wrong from the begrnning. For the other \\,omen, the abuse began as an extension of rffectionand it was when either the aspects of the abuse changed or thev we re older that theytoo defined what was happening as wrong. \{'hen abuse began as an exrensior-r ofaffectionwomen recalled confused and ambivalent feelings.This was either because theywanted affection from the man or because they experienced pleasurable physical sensauons. 'I remember my father teaching me how to masturbate when I was four. He said "I'll show you something nice", and it was.' Unlikethe popular stereory?e that incest involves treating a child as special and that it is an extension of a close, affectionate relationship, the majority of these women felt that they had virtually no relationship with rhe abuser or a predominantly negatiye one before the abuse began.

po liten essth atma dem eac quies c e, bec aus ehewa s a n a d u l t 'H e m a d e m e feel him uP' t . .r up sexualmessages Considerable numbers of women feared violence and/or picked controlsto paternal similar trom male family members. Many women had experienced where abused' those recalled by incest snrvi.,ors, but wefe not themselves incestuously to connecnon the of the control and sexual messagesinterlinked women wefe aware fcr'-u this defines incest but did not define theilexperiences as incest. Judith Herman had as damaging effects of father-daughter interaction as 'seductive' and she found it on women as more overt abuse.E .Heveryob vio usly s t ar t eds eeingm eas as ex ualbe i n g . . 'I t h i n k l w a s m o r e I think he was .r.*or.t. of him b..^lls. of the sexual vibes he v/as ' ' ' I mean' terror' I've all.that through rhe central person I was afraid of when I was going things, initial the from often thought about what it was he actually did . . . Apart likecomin gu pb es idem eandput t inghis ar m ar oun d m y w a i s t 's l a p p i n g m e very creePy on rhe bum. . . . Vhen I think about it now thefe was something ab ou thim.... overt behaviour but, other women's feelings were ofren less clearly connected to resisted attributing women these of none the less, they felt ..ncomfortable. Most incestui-rusmodves to their fathers. .I don,t say he had incesruous feelings. If he did, I don't think he would el'erhave but I feelings, translated it into action. I think some of it was orcr-slrongpaternal do think there's a sexual undercurrent to that with a girl'' .Itwasmore ofa feelingof s om et hingt hat ls hiedaw a y f r o m . V h e n h e w a s my mind that this tickJrng us or somerhing tit e that there was some feeling in wasn't what it should be.' ,I don,t think I ever experienced physical father, yet I had Pfessure from my know where don't I have. survivors incest read similar reactions to those I',ve conditioning social of sort that from come they come from really. Does it iust of it's a possibilitY?' very controlling' Many women recalled their father ignoring them or being whether or not they critical or verbally and/ot physically abusive. Some fathers, Many women recalled were sexually abusive, calei their daughters whores or sluts. of the conflict concerned relauonships with fathers worsening in adolescence. I{uch survivors recalledsimilar incest the of N{any a,rthoriry. father's gids challenging their

206

Lp Keu-v
'He totally ignorecl me until i1. When I started m1, periods, he started to sort I of take notice. In fact, he tocik me out for a meal, started to buv me presents. was quite pleased 'cos he was actually taking an interest in me. Then atter that it started.'

3.3 THEMURDERER AS MISOGYNIST?

Deborah Cameron and Elizabet h Frazer

Four women did recall at s()me point feeiing,or being treated as,'special'withinthe family. For all of them, horvever, this became a fotm of bribe4' and involved aspecn of control, such as not being able to choose their own clothes. For one woman, what were seen by othet members of the family as treats consisted of her father taking her out fof day-trips during which he took Photographs of her which he threatenedto send away to pornogfaphv magazines or pretended that she was a prostitute and he

herPimP' t I
The majority of women had been explicitly told to keep the abuse secret. Trvo fathers told their daughters ti.rat their behaviour rvas normal. 'Ihe pledge to secrecvthat most abusers demandecl was usuallv underlined either bv threats of violence or threats that telling someone rvould trpset their mother anclior cause tl-Ie family to bteak up. have b1s2k-up or of 'abandonment" u,'hich manY researchers [. . .] The fear of fan-ril1' rvhereincest presented as some sort of unconscious defensive mechzrnism in fan-rilies is happening [...1, rvas, for tl.risgroup of women, the result of internalizingexplicit threats from the abuser. It is not surprising, tlreretilre, that none of these women told an1,o.. about the abuse whilst it s,as hapPening. The reasolls women gave for not in relation to other forms of telling anyone were similar t() those women discr-rssed and/or the reaction of the or blamed disbelieved sexual r.iolence. T'hey feared being to tell anyone as theyhad horv knorv dicl not they abuser. Several women stressed that q,as either the threats rvomen, live For happening [...]. no w-ords to describe what rnd unhappY were mothers that their about upsetting their n'lothers of an awafeness 'fhe sense .] . them. silenced that if theV linew they woulcl feel guilry and responsible [. of responsibility and blame that many abusersinstilled in girls rvas reinforcedby the general silence that surrounds incest. NoTES
1. I1. Schepple aod P. Ilart, "l'hrough u'.,mcn's eres: dclining dangcr in thc s'alie of serual assauk',Jounal Istus,.l9(2), 19ti3, p. a4. 1f .\)acia/ Iilenitnt lltitL (anilted Rapiits,Toromo: 2. See, fo, erample, S_I-evine andJ. Koenig, ll'by.1ler Rape: Nlacmillan, 198o. London: l\lelbourne llouse, 1978. 3. l-. Farfet, Jnzd/ -fbakednvr, .1. See, for example, 1,. Clark a0tl D. I -cv-is, R'rpe: 7 Le Priceol' Coerit'r .\tta/il'1', 'I oronto: \\'omen's Press, oJDontrtiutcd Ftna/es,l-orrdon:\\'onen's Press,1983; 1977; A. Durirkin, Riht ILirry llTaun; |'he Politics C, Ilaclrinnon,'\'iolence againstsrrmen - a pcrspective','-ltgs' 33, 1982; pp 51-7' 5. P, Bart, 'Women of thc righl tra.iing tbr satcn, rules and Iove',7l,e J'cu l['bttut's Tiuu l:ettinitt Ru'ieu, N o r ' .-De c., 19 8 3 , p p . 1 -2 ,9- 11 . 6. S.Lees, ltapritrgtointe,Lonclon: Ilutchioson, 1987; P.\\'tllis,Leanitgtal'thatrllon'll"brkitry'CluKdt gel ll'orking (.l,urJob:, Fairnborough: Saxon House, 1977. 7. Willis, I nning lo Itbour, p. 67 . Xlass: llan'ard Unir-ersitvPress,1981' ltirerl,Oambri<lgc, 8. J. Herman, latber-Dau-qbter

is takertfront l/te cancludirg cbapteraf a studl of tea'ual natder itt l(,.,esrern lispiue soueilestjtre lhe ilneteefth ceu/ury'' IY'here nary ot/terJinitiits ltarc arqtediltat sexaal t,iolence, inc/ulirq uarder, anetpressions of na/e dontinance, Deborub Carzenn a:url E/ipbet/L Fraryr take a dffartnr t,ie,,. Tbg' aryuetbat l/:ere is nore to vxr'ra/ narz/er lhatt rtett'.r bart'edof ant/pa,,,.,tvr il,'tr/efi, rLa/ //ti-r ki/lirtgir a relatire! recentpbenonetton, loy o,f attrl sboa/rlbe,nrlirrroo,r n, n ,1rr.,t1i, rro,,stenlente t'hitbis roolerlir lhe specifr cahutal canrli/iatts-aJ ntorlentiy Hhere are n'o kinds of discourses /r-," sexual murcrcrer. T,here is a .c.rtLrra| discourse in rvhich he is a hero, at rhe^rr"r, centre of literary and philrsophical celcbration; endthere is a 'scientific' criscourse in rvhich he is a deviar.rt.There is fla,,v a rn b.tr.r these accounts, horvever:_the], oYerlook the highlv saiicnt issue of horv scxual murcler rsstructufedb1' gender. Sexual murder.r, nr"l i, ,urn, ()ut, ,.,-,en rvho murcrer the ", objects of their desire. Toa feminist,b' contrast, the mareness j, ,J*-u,t.., is immediatel' r,isibleancr hiEhjv significant. The last rwo dccadesoi fcminisr .rcrivir\ h^r..';..l.';,.,ut^ui"'. ."n..nr,,ri framervork in rvhich this malenessseems a]most ine'itabre. Its central n'tr(), rs that of'maleviolence' or ,r-iolence allalnst women,.

Sexull MunoeR AsVtoLENcE Acnrrusr Woueru

Male violence against women is definecl brorrclll,l>r.fen-riniststo incluclc nor jusr rhe most obvious abuses - r^pe, wife-battering o.,i i.r..r, for insrzrnce- but als' ancl
Fmm D cameron and E Frazer, 'f/te lttl lo K/i: , I liuiri:t lur.sri4trior aJ .\i,tLn/ -llnt1r,(jambntlcc: polrn.-