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Even on the first date when he said he was not married, your instincts told yousomething else.Unfortunately the statistics favor that he/she probably is. Recent studies revealthat 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sexat some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 -Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy). Reports also show that the subject ofmarriage isn't typically discussed before an affair begins.So if your instincts tell you something is up, listen to them. Keep in mind ifhe/she is lying about being married, chances are they are lying about other thingsas well, and since the most important thing to look for in a potential mate (afterthe lust subsides) is honesty and trustworthiness, the safest idea is to do whatthe police do when looking for a suspect in a criminal case - eliminate them as asuspect first!This simple checklist developed by the American Polygraph Association and theAmerican Psychiatric Association helps you eliminate undesirable prospects bygiving you clues that let you know when a person is lying. As you are engaged inconversation, watch for certain behaviors that are often telltale signs of lying,in this case, when you bring up the question of whether he/she is married or not:- They break eye contact and look away, especially if they look up and to theleft.- The pitch of their voice changes or they start to fidget which indicates stresslevels are high.- They hesitate when you ask typically because they are trying to think of theright thing to say.- They turn their body away from you however slightly and often they will start tosweat.- They answer with an abundance of information that sounds somewhat prepared.- Their stores are inconsistent.- People often speak much more quickly when they are telling a lie and for somepeople, their face turns red.It's Time to Run a Background CheckStart with researching whether or not your prospective date is a Registered SexOffender.This is easy to do and I'll provide you with a source where it is completely free:http://www.apscreen.com/sexoffenders.htmBe sure to run the national search on this site as well as any counties yoursubject has lived in. Remember, that not all sex offenders are registered and notevery database is updated, so you want to use as many sources as you can.Run a nationwide criminal records check next. This $10 search houses recordscompiled from most jurisdictions throughout the United Sates and is a great firststart to determining if your date has an undesirable background.Find out if the subject is married, divorced or is the subject of lawsuits. To
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