Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Steve Baron
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Copyright © Steve Baron 2009
Editorial office:
Born To Win Publishing
44 Hall Street
Cambridge 3434
New Zealand
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To my children
Cody, Jamie, Krystal, Chase
and my parents Peter and Loretta
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Thank You
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Contents
Introduction
1. Catastrophes 10
2. Mudguard theory 14
3. Be a contrarian 16
4. The waffle man 18
5. Educate yourself 21
6. Brush and floss your teeth 25
7. Feeling down? 26
8. “What if?” theory 29
9. Winner or loser? 32
10. Don't let salespeople give you advice 35
11. Everything you're looking for is where
you're looking from 38
12. Children in adult bodies 48
13. How else could I turn out with a
father like that? 51
14. What did you learn from school? 52
15. Always follow your gut instincts 54
16. Perseverance 57
17. Judging people 63
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18. Don't try to change others, try to
change yourself 68
19. Hard work doesn't always get you where
you want to be 72
20. If you always do what you've
always done 78
21. Advertising 82
22. Have a “Go to Hell” fund 84
23. Rainy day money 86
24. Who will give me $20 for this $50 note? 88
25. Making mistakes 90
26. Jealousy 92
27. You don’t have to get into debt to get ahead 95
28. Choosing a mate 97
29. Banks 101
30. Gambling really is for mugs 104
31. Giving advice 108
32. 84 Charing Cross Road 110
33. The mother-in-law 112
34. Kenny Rogers poker theory 115
35. University fees 119
36. Credit cards and debt 121
37. Control freaks 124
38. Don't take things for granted 126
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39. Say what you think, but you don't have
to say everything you think 128
40. Face your fears 130
41. Idiot drivers 132
42. Expectations 134
43. Thank you 136
44. Be yourself 138
45. We all have the right to be right and the
right to be wrong 140
46. Respect your elders? 142
47. What's it worth? 144
48. Stress 147
49. 'Tis better to have loved and lost 149
50. Trust funds 151
51. The secret to life 153
52. Distinguish between friends
and acquaintances 155
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Introduction
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1.
Catastrophes
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as a big shock to me the day I learned my best friend Garth
had killed himself. I just couldn't believe it had happened.
Why didn't he talk to me about how he felt? Why couldn't I
have been able to see it and help? Ever since that day I
have always thought to myself... it doesn't matter how bad
things get, it can't be bad enough to do that!
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there amongst the ruins and I looked at him and said, “This
will be the best thing to ever happen to you”. He looked at
me as if I had to be the biggest idiot on the face of the
earth. Here we were standing amongst burned embers and
mangled weight training equipment and this was going to
be the best thing to ever happened to him? I didn't know
how it was going to happen but I wanted to instil some
hope and encouragement in him as I could see how much
it was affecting him. To cut a long story short, he ended up
buying an old government building and setting up another
gym.
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to make a living. Finally in 1935 they had to leave their
home and moved to start a new life in what was then
Palestine (now Israel). Soon after, the borders were closed,
and had they not left, they may have all perished in the
Holocaust. So it was bankruptcy and poverty which
appeared tragic at the time that eventually saved their
lives”.
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2.
Mudguard Theory
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we see these kinds of people and look up to them and
aspire to be like them. They look good, smell good and
have all the trappings of life but when you look under the
mudguard everything is borrowed or dirty.
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3.
Be a contrarian
Have you ever noticed how so many people are like sheep,
all following the next sheep? Some good advice I have
heard from many successful people has been to do the
opposite of others, be contrary. When everyone is saying
buy, this is the time to sell and vice versa.
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first rental property I bought in one of the worst parts of
town was one of the best investments I ever made. I paid
$120,000 for it with a 10% deposit. I spent two weeks and
$7,000 fixing it up. I had it revalued and re-financed getting
back my deposit, repair money and $12,000 to go and buy
another property. On top of that the rental covered all
outgoing expenses with plenty left over! Now this is what I
call a good investment.
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4.
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income they had before. After all these years of university
training the son knew exactly what to do and the father
trusted the son, after all he was a highly educated
university graduate.
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didn't have all the overheads of most businesses. A couple
of friends tried to persuade me to move in to business
premises as the prestige of the location would improve my
business. I never did do it even though I would have liked
to be where they were, in the central business district with
cute little secretaries answering the phone and looking like
a big shot. They both went out of business and years later I
sold my home business for twice what I expected to get.
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5.
Educate yourself
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Anthony Robbins book Awaken the Giant Within. It is an
international best seller with an immense amount of
information in it, but one thing I remembered was Anthony
Robbins talking about educating yourself.
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bargain of the century comes along every week in real
estate and if you go out and look at a 100 properties you
will make three offers and end up buying one of them.” So
this was exactly what I did and to my amazement it was
almost exactly as Dolf had said.
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complimented him on how successful the NZ wide
seminars had been given they were sold out. He laughed
out loud and said they had been a total failure and he
hadn't made any money from them at all. Most of the
tickets had been given away for free, because they couldn't
sell them.
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6.
Have you ever noticed how poor people have lots of tooth
decay and teeth missing? Let's face it, most of us have had
a trip or two to the dentist and we all know how expensive it
can be. One day I remember going back to a new dentist I
had started to use. He had replaced all my old amalgam
fillings with white fillings for me. When I went back a year
later he took x-rays and everything was perfect, nothing
needed doing. Because I had spent so much money getting
the old fillings replaced I had decided to take more care of
my teeth and to use dental floss more regularly. I told him
this and his words to me were that if all his clients brushed
and used dental floss daily then he would probably be out
of business!
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7.
Feeling down
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depression and anxiety," says Kristin Vickers-Douglas,
Ph.D., a psychologist at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
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cortisol. It also increases body temperature, which may
have calming effects. All of these changes in your mind and
body can improve such symptoms as sadness, anxiety,
irritability, stress, fatigue, anger, self-doubt and
hopelessness. So when ever I feel down, I start a new
exercise programme.
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8.
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As my friend Oona Busby said, “So many people when
they reach 10 want to be 12 - then at 13 you want to be 16
and 18 and older - then before you know it you are 40 and
wonder where the time went”. It seems to me we need to
enjoy the now and do all those things you did not do, but
meant to.
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working without regrets when you are fully engaged with
life and doing the things you want to do in life.
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9.
Winner or loser?
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to pay packet and find at the end of my life I was reliant on
a meagre government handout. I wanted something to
show for my life's work. The only thing that kept me going
was my desire to achieve something. Not to be rich but just
to have enough money to do what I wanted, when I wanted
and with whom I wanted. Most people seem to accept little
in life. They don't seem to have the motivation or desire to
succeed. That's a real shame, because with a half
intelligent person success is achievable.
You can strive year after year and feel you are getting
nowhere, but then all of a sudden something changes and
before you know it you can have more money than you
need. It's like those old well pumps. You keep pumping and
pumping and nothing happens for a long time. Then all of a
sudden the water starts gushing and all you have to do is
apply a little pressure and it just keeps gushing without too
much effort.
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it. I know they can if they simply adopt the desire. If you
feel like a loser then you will probably be one. If you know
you can be a winner then chances are you just might. At
least have a go so you don't die wondering what if?
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10.
Being fairly new parents we wanted what was best for our
little boy. After all, how could he possibly go through life
with a crooked toe?! So we sought specialist advice. The
surgeon looked at his toe and said there was a good
chance he could straighten it and it could help improve his
quality of life later on. It was going to cost over $1,000,
which was pretty much our whole life's savings at the time
as it had to be done at a private hospital. I can still
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remember my little boy crying as they took him off to
surgery and away from his very concerned parents.
So the next time I spoke to him I asked him how his toe
was. “What do you mean – how is my toe?” he said. He
had no recollection of ever having had a problem with his
toe and the operation, which made little difference apart
from putting a hole in my life savings! Has it ever bothered
him? I don't think so, and you may ask, what is the moral of
this story? Well years later when attending university
myself I studied economics. In economics we studied a
phenomenon called Asymmetric Information. What this
boils down to is that it means one party has more
information than another and gives people an imbalance of
power. I believe this surgeon knew this operation was going
to have very little effect on my son's life. He played on our
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ignorance and concerns as new parents and could see an
improvement to his private hospital’s bottom line profits. Be
wary you don't even know what you don't know!
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11.
When I first met him I was selling real estate and he and
his wife were looking to buy a property having just sold
theirs. I was desperate to sell a particular property, for a
number of reasons. First it stacked up a lot of other sales,
secondly it was a really lovely home and thirdly it was
extremely well priced and good value for money. I thought it
would be ideal for him and his wife but I had overlooked
one important factor in their decision making. As lovely as
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the house was, it was a two level home with stairs and he
was nearly 90 years old at the time! He was a very sprightly
90 I might add. I remember saying to him that if I could hit
him over the head with a piece of wood to get him to take
this property, then I would. I was just so keen to get him to
buy it. He read more into this comment than most people
would and he explained to me how my aggression in
saying such a thing was holding me back from my true
potential.
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issues in life his saying has always come back to
encourage me.
Albert Einstein:
He did not speak until age 3. Even as an adult Einstein
found searching for words was laborious. He found school
work, especially math, difficult and was unable to express
himself in written language. He was thought to be simple
minded, until it was realised he was able to achieve by
visualising rather than by the use of language. His work on
relativity, which revolutionised modern physics, was created
in his spare time.
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Thomas Edison:
He was unable to read until he was twelve years old and
his writing skills were poor throughout his life.
George Washington:
Tom Cruise:
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Halle Berry:
Jim Carrey:
Charlie Chaplin:
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Themes in his films in later years would re-visit the scenes
of his childhood deprivation in Lambeth.
Kelly Clarkson:
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Daniel Craig:
Ella Fitzgerald:
Chris Gardner:
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subway stations, trains, bathrooms, and church-run shelter
with his son in California.
Harry Houdini:
Eartha Kitt:
Jim Morrison:
Singer, songwriter and poet; lead singer and lyricist for the
1960’s rock band The Doors; Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
inductee (with The Doors), slept on rooftops, in cars and
under the pier at Venice Beach, California and ‘couch
surfed’ at friends’ apartments.
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George Orwell:
Hillary Swank:
In 1989, when she was 15, Swank and her mom packed up
their Oldsmobile Delta 88 and, with just $75, headed to Los
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Angeles. They lived in the car until a friend [eventually]
gave them a place to stay. Swank’s mom used a pay phone
to book her daughter for auditions.
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12.
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life.” You can have all the money and success in the world,
but if you don't have friends and family to share it with, was
it all worth the effort?
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his car. He had been working for four years and done
nothing but waste his money on everything imaginable. It
was hard to do because we all want to help our children,
but I told him if he had been working and earning a living
for this long and didn't even have the money to pay for this,
then what lesson would I be teaching him if I bailed him
out? He would only learn that his parents would bail him
out when he hadn't acted responsibly. Of course I had to
put up with a tirade of abuse and I was no longer his father
in his eyes, but at the end of the day we have to do what
we have to do as parents.
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13.
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14.
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Mostly I didn't apply myself. If there is one thing I learned
that was important to me, it was the ability to read. Most of
us take this for granted, but as the parent of two dyslexic
children who have struggled to read their whole lives, it is
such a crying shame. If you can read then sooner or later
you can educate yourself on things that are important to
you. Many of the important things in life that I have learned,
that have helped me get to where I am in life today, came
from a book. If there is one thing you learn in life, let it be
the ability to read. If you can't read or your children can't
read then find a way to learn and persevere until you do.
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15.
Nothing new with this one and we hear it all the time, but
have you ever really thought about it? Is there really any
truth in it? Quite often when weighing up different options
we get an uneasy feeling. We don't always know why, but
there is something there, something bothering us but we
can't quite put our finger on it.
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he was a past sports star. The inference was because of
this he could be trusted. It turned out to be a big mistake so
he told me, and he knew at the time this person couldn't be
trusted but he ignored his instincts.
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whom you want to work with or befriend.” Orloff also says,
"Intuition helps you do things that are right for you rather
than what someone else tells you to do, and that can help
you live your life to the fullest."
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16.
Perseverance
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do the best you can with what you've got. You may
not make your goal or achieve your dreams this week,
this month or this year, but learn from the experience.
This includes the disappointments and the setbacks.
Be prepared to keep going when the going gets
tough. It's worked for me. What about others though?
Here are three good examples.
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Cowell spent years signing talent and working behind-
the-scenes, before launching the American Idol and
X-Factor franchises that made him famous.
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most of her free time to the Harry Potter series. She
also drew from her bad personal experiences when
writing. The result is a brand name currently worth
nearly $15 billion.
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Universal had secretly patented the Oswald character.
Universal then hired Disney’s artists away from him,
and continued the cartoon without Disney’s input (and
without paying him).
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repeatedly for the next 16 years. After more than a
decade-and-a-half of persuasion, Travers was
overcome by Disney’s charm and vision for the film,
and finally gave him permission to bring Mary
Poppins to the big screen. The result is a timeless
classic.
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17.
Judging People
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business for a couple of years and I was doing pretty
well for myself. A guy and his wife who weren't much
older than me came into the office one day looking to
buy a property. He was rather arrogant and full of
himself. From the moment I walked out the office door
with them to show them some properties, it all went
wrong. Talking to them as I walked down the street to
my car I stepped in a dog's nest that was conveniently
dropped in the middle of the street. I stood there in
disgust, but this guy thought it was funny and couldn't
stop laughing.
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successful at real estate! I was actually one of the top
agents in my office that year.
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a couple of hillbillies and the way they spoke left a lot
to be desired. They wanted to look at any small farms
we had. I didn't specialise in farms and I thought they
were a waste of time and just dreamers who one day
might win Lotto and then be able to afford to buy their
dream farm. With that I put them on to another
colleague in our office who did specialise in this area.
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paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before
class ended, one student asked if the last question
would count toward the quiz grade. "Absolutely," said
the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many
people. All are significant. They deserve your attention
and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello”.
Sounds like an important lesson.
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18.
This is not to say they can't change but very few do.
So if you don't like what you see then don't assume it
will be alright, because you can change them later.
Accept them for who they are and how they live their
lives or move on. Leopards don't change their spots
as my old Granddad used to say. All you can do is
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change yourself by being the best you can be and find
friends and lovers you are compatible with.
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on-time or let me know in advance that you’ll be late.
Is this something you can do?”
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4. Figure out the payoff. Leverage is needed to
change a habit. There has to be a bigger reason to
change than to stay the same. Looking deeper is
often the key. Honestly list all the reasons why you
may be unconsciously resisting change. Then list the
benefits of changing. Seeing both sides of the picture
is the only way to get it. If you are dealing with
another person ask them why they think they don’t
change. This will help them process why they may be
stuck.
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19.
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even have money to buy food. I was scanning the
local newspaper for another job and saw an advert
along the lines of “Work from home and make good
money.”
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until real estate picked up and then get back into real
estate. Real estate got even worse and this new
business took off! I ran the business for nearly twelve
years and finally sold it after making a substantial
income every year.
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“thingy”. Getting connected to the Internet was a big
decision at the time because it cost $40 a month and
we were really stretched for money, as my newsletter
business was going down the gurgler.
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much money for a while, but people started to see my
little fax adverts and asked me if they could sell some
of their stuff on it. I got excited because some weeks I
even made $50! This grew and grew to a point where
I was making more money than 90% of all New
Zealanders. Well so my accountant told me!
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British-based researchers Michael J. Howe, Jane W.
Davidson and John A. Sluboda conclude in an
extensive study, "The evidence we have surveyed ...
does not support the [notion that] excelling is a
consequence of possessing innate gifts." You may
have talent in a particular field but that doesn't mean
you have intelligence or motivation to excel. It can
take years. John Horn of the University of Southern
California and Hiromi Masunaga of California State
University say, "The ten-year rule represents a very
rough estimate, and most researchers regard it as a
minimum, not an average." In many fields top
performers need 20 or 30 years experience before
making it to the top. What about Bobby Fischer who
became a chess grandmaster at 16? Evidently he had
nine years of intensive study.
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20.
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moment rather than grasping an opportunity when it
presents itself and taking some action. For some
people it is fear of the unknown which holds them
back and others a lack of resources.
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live forever” mentality that so sneaks up on us, as to
the reason others didn't apply.
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one takes them up on the offer. So hence, my saying,
“Everyone has an opportunity to succeed... but most
times it's not going to be handed to you... you're going
to have to do your part.”
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21.
Advertising
Have you ever noticed how inferior you can feel after
watching a TV advertisement? Advertising gurus
design the adverts so you get the feeling you simply
aren't successful or appealing to the opposite sex if
you don't have one of these whatsits! Well, that's what
advertising is supposed to do. It plays on your
emotions so you buy their product. Don't let it make
you feel inferior or worthless because you don't have
what they are selling. I do, however, subscribe to the
theory that as long as you own it, even if it sits in your
garage and you don't use it, you will get better
abdominal muscles! It's not just TV advertising either.
A year's worth of research from Simmons, a media
consultancy, shows Internet video watchers are 47%
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more engaged by the advertising they watched than
were traditional TV viewers. The same study found
viewers were 25% more engaged in the content on
the shows as well.
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22.
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that are not good for them. If you have enough money
to put aside you can get out of a bad relationship or
leave a job you hate or just isn't working out. For
example, when there are layoffs or the business you
work for goes bankrupt, having savings for these
unexpected times gives you more options. So often
we see women in bad relationships, but they are
totally dependent on their partner and can't leave
them. Not having savings puts them under someone
else's control and leaves them and their children open
to abuse. Something needs to be done now so get
started on your “Go to hell” fund.
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23.
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a private hospital where she got the care and medical
attention she needed. This is what rainy day money is
for, to give us choices and help care for our loved
ones.
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24.
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the opportunity or they simply don't have the money to
do it. His advice was always having the money
waiting for those once in a lifetime opportunities (that
come along weekly!) and to look past your suspicions.
Dolf certainly made a good point with his little stunt,
which rammed home his point.
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25.
Making mistakes
If you have never made mistakes you are never going
to get very far in life. Life has never been fair or
perfect. Sometimes you have to make lots of mistakes
to prepare yourself for those once in a lifetime
opportunities. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn
from mistakes, but also learn from other people's
mistakes as well.
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get angry with yourself because even the best of us
make mistakes. Don't become a victim to the “Woe is
me” mentality. It's so easy to give up and convince
yourself you have made too many mistakes in your
life to get ahead. Ultimately we all have to accept
personal responsibility for our own mistakes. If you
blame others then you will never get ahead and
achieve whatever it is in life you would like to achieve.
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26.
Jealousy
Dr Michael Cullen, the Labour government Minister of
Finance, once called MP John Key (later to become
Prime Minister of New Zealand) a “rich prick”. As if
there was something wrong with being rich? That to
me sounds like an obvious case of jealousy. Remove
any jealousy from your life because it is a cancer that
will eat you away. Most people deserve what they
have achieved and it really should be something to
admire and aspire to.
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commented about a part in a light-hearted comedy
called Death Becomes Her, which is well worth some
thought. The Bruce Willis character got caught up in
the lives of two women wanting to be young and live
forever, but that came with a horrible price...they
couldn't die; but whatever damage happened to their
bodies after the "miraculous potion" they drank,
became permanent. The Bruce Willis character left
these women and began a new life after 50, while the
women became more monstrous-looking as their
jealousy of each other consumed them. It's sort of like
what's happening to famous people today who have
had too much plastic surgery and botox. My friend
said she prefers to allow life to take its own natural
course and be proud of each scar on her body and
each laugh and worry line. Not to mention, she also
wants her cheeks to move when she talks and smiles!
Jealousy can also destroy relationships. It creates an
element of distrust and does nothing to build a
relationship. Jealousy is usually a mixture of fear and
anger. Fear you are losing something and anger that
someone is trying to take something away from you.
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Most often these feelings aren't really based on any
reality. The best way to overcome jealousy is to bring
it out in to the open and discuss it with your partner so
they can help you to overcome these feelings.
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27.
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achieving all we can be. Let's face it, we all know we
can and should be doing better than we are. I
remember someone saying to me once, “The only
competition I have is myself.” So often this is true. We
see it in people all the time when they achieve some
success and then find a way to sabotage it, because
they believe deep inside they are not worthy of the
success. Pay attention to those thoughts that come in
to your mind, that bring about doubt and lack of self
confidence. If you can't get to the bottom of your
problems, then find someone who can help you.
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28.
Choosing a mate
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them. When you purchase goods you own them, but
nothing you can buy is maintenance free.
Relationships need day to day maintenance for a life
long guarantee. Consequently, committing to each
other is easy but keeping the relationship functioning
requires constant attention.
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to offer you tenderness and love and does your
partner have common sense? Without it, looks,
intellect, talent and money come a distant last. Is
he/she the sort of person who looks for improvement?
Or simply happy to settle for mediocrity and little
ambition. However, over ambition can also have its
negatives.
The first one got a makeover with the money. She told
the man, "I spent the money to look prettier for you,
because I love you so much."
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the rest of the money for our future, because I love
you so much."
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29.
Banks
Don't put all your money or all your debt with one
bank. Banks love to compete with each other for
business and they prefer to have all your mortgages if
you are a property investor. Never do it even though it
is easier. It gives them too much control and some of
them link each property you buy with the next.
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at least two banks and probably three so you have
different options. For instance if a bank goes belly up
like many have through the credit crunch of 2008,
then you won’t lose everything. There is no guarantee
in tough economic times the government will bail out
every bank. Although a government often offers
temporary guarantees on bank deposits, that could
change in the future.
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old fashioned and sexist. She believed this
accountant probably thought she would be better off
at home looking after her husband and children. She
ignored the accountant's advice and developed a
successful business.
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30.
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lost a whole heap of money. Of course you can't keep
doubling up indefinitely, as they have a limit on the
amount you can place in one bet. These guys aren't
silly you know. If it was this easy they wouldn't be in
business for long, would they?
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($30). The lowest levels of gambling expenditure were
found amongst people aged 18 to 24 ($30) and 65 or
over ($31). People aged 45 to 54 had the highest
average level of gambling expenditure ($58). Average
expenditure levels were higher among the employed
($46) than those not in the labour force ($30).
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Even if I had a win, the amount I won was never going
to change my life drastically like I hoped it would. On
the other hand if I lost a whole week’s wages (or
more) then my life was going to be considerably
worse.
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31.
Giving advice
If you feel the need to give advice then the best way
to do it is to ask permission first. Simply say “Would
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you mind if I give you some advice about that?” Not
asking causes all sorts of problems between friends,
family and acquaintances. By asking, it shows
compassion and not that you are just an opinionated
person.
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32.
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said. Corresponding with others we’ve never met
allows us to be vulnerable…to share and express
feelings that may make us feel uncomfortable if we
were to share them with people we see every day in
our life.
I’m not saying the ending has to be the same, but you
have to admit anticipation in life, that unknown,
unmet, untouched part of our lives should be
cherished. It gives us something to look forward to,
and to be able to face each day with anticipation.
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33.
The Mother-in-law
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construed by the daughter-in-law as being interfering.
Soon she distances herself and baby from the
mother-in-law thus allowing a justified reason to lure
her man away from the closeness he has towards his
mother. There is a certain inbuilt jealousy that she
wants to be the only woman on earth he loves so
deeply.
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keep a few things in mind. Most daughters-in-law are
naturally defensive and insecure when it comes to
dealing with the mother-in-law, but never put your
husband in a position of having to defend his mother.
She usually has a special place in his heart, but that
does not mean you are not just as important or even
more important. No one wins in this situation and all it
creates is animosity and derision, which no family
needs. Some mothers-in-law will do everything
possible to prove you are not good enough for their
sons. These sons will see through this even if they
don't do anything about it. There is no point in putting
his mother down like she is putting you down. Ask
your husband to talk to his mother. If he won't then all
you can do is keep this kind of mother-in-law at a
distance, but never try to compete with her. If he didn't
want you more than her he never would have left
home or married you in the first place! If possible,
keep your husband’s parents up to date with what is
happening, especially with their grandchildren rather
than keeping them in the dark and them coming to
resent you.
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34.
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who had a friend over the back fence who worked in
the industry where they were discovering natural gas.
He was told he should be buying shares in Oil and
Gas.
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unbridled faith expecting them to keep going up and
up, but they didn't. They dropped and dropped and he
ended up losing money when he could have at least
doubled his money.
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company Berkshire Hathaway by buying undervalued
shares in great companies. The trouble is how do you
identify great companies and determine what really is
a reasonable price?
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35.
University fees
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to know the waitresses by name and chat from time to
time. This one young waitress had been there for
around six months. She told me she wouldn't be
working there after Christmas, because she was
going to university, locally in Auckland. I said I thought
she would have been keeping her part time job to
help fund this education. Her answer was that she
didn't need to, because “Dad is paying for it”. I thought
about it for a while and I really didn't like the attitude. I
never met her again, but I wonder how she did and if
she would have applied herself as much as she would
have if she had been paying for it all herself.
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36.
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the problem but only making it worse. When in real
estate I remember lots of commissions coming
through and receiving a free offer to have a credit
card. How could I say no?
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carrying around cash and you don't have a huge bill to
pay at the end of every month (not to mention extra
interest payments if you don't pay your credit card off
in full).
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37.
Control freaks
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In effect they are legends in their own minds! For
others it's just simply power and their way of getting
control. This behaviour doesn't get you far in life.
People come to despise you and it makes your life a
misery, because you will never be able to control
everything so why bother trying? Just accept you can't
control everything in life and you never will be able to.
Life will be so much easier and you will get along
much better with the people who love you. If you are
married to someone like this don't put up with it, get
out and find a happier life if this person isn't prepared
to do something about it. Life is just too short to put
up with people like this.
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38.
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follow the other as you walk, but it is also important to
take notice of the little things in life. If you fail to notice
the little things in life then people start to feel
unappreciated. This is especially important with
people close to you. Noticing the new clothes your
spouse has just bought and how good they look on
him/her, then commenting to him/her makes a big
difference in life. It also gets loads of brownie points.
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39.
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they say what they say. If you say what you are
thinking with consideration for what others have said,
then it will come across a lot better.
You have to understand that they may have a different
perspective than you on the subject so you need to
say something without attacking the other person or
putting them down personally. If you are speaking
your mind only to make yourself sound intelligent and
to put the other person down, then simply shut up.
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40.
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“It's too risky”. If this talk is irrational then you have to
find ways to replace these irrational beliefs. Find ways
to change those words running through your head.
Investigate and get some real facts on the issue to
help balance those fears.
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41.
Idiot drivers
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person wanting to change lanes. Simply take a deep
breath and wave them in. You might be surprised at
the difference it makes and the smiles you will get.
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42.
Expectations
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stress and lead to anger, disappointment and
resentment.
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43.
Thank you
A recent US survey showed 70 % of adults said
people are ruder now than they were 20 years ago. If
you want to stand out from the crowd then try saying
“Thank you” and genuinely mean it. MP Tau Henare
reminded me, “Saying ‘thank you’ to people is one of
the most important things to learn in life, especially to
those who have done things out of the goodness of
their hearts, because saying ‘thank you’ doesn't cost
anyone anything but it can uplift someone so much
whether it be your wife, your dad, your mum or
whoever, it really is the best thing to say to anyone.”
If you are in business or dealing with the public do
you always say ‘thank you’? I could probably count
the number of times I have been thanked after making
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a purchase, on one hand. With some businesses it's
almost like you have done them a disservice for
buying something off them. It's almost like you have
rudely interrupted their busy day. It's so nice to hear a
“Thank you” when you make a purchase. It's a simple
pleasantry often forgotten in this busy, stressful world
we live in. As Alfred North Whitehead, a well known
British mathematician, logician and philosopher once
said, “No one who achieves success does so without
the help of others. The wise and confident
acknowledge this help with gratitude.”
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44.
Be yourself
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and those who matter don't mind.” ~Dr. Seuss. To be
yourself you have to find out who you really are,
understand yourself and accept yourself. It doesn't
matter what other people think about you, it's
important what you think about yourself. This is what
defines YOU. Neither does it matter that what
interests you doesn't interest other things. If you don't
like something about yourself then don't be afraid to
change it. We can all change and improve for the
better, but it's important to do it for yourself and not for
others.
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45.
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hold my own views, passionately, for example, the
belief in free will leads me almost unerringly to try to
see the other person's point of view. No-one is ever
100% right and no-one is 100% wrong, so the truth
must lie between the extremes.
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46.
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in re-inventing the wheel and, given a little respect,
they are usually happy to part with some of their
advice to help us make our way in life. Don't forget,
one day you will be an elder, how do you want to be
treated?
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47.
What's it worth?
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full mortgage valuation. Registered valuers base their
valuations on solid evidence and don't have any
vested interest in how much your property sells for.
Real Estate agents do, because they get paid a
commission, and their homework is not always based
on sound research.
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when everyone is selling and the time to be selling is
when everyone is buying, if your situation allows.
Never buy into the fallacy that real estate agents will
always try to get you the best price possible, because
they get more commission when they do. The fact of
the matter is they want a sale. If you drop your price
by $10,000 this affects their commission by as little as
a few hundred dollars. Not much to them but $10,000
is a lot to you!
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48.
Stress
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life which bring on stress. It can be caused by finance,
marital problems, our jobs, kids, bereavement or
simply trying to do too much at once. Do what you
can to remove the causes of stress from your life or
get help to overcome them. Many years ago when my
parents divorced it was an emotional time for me. I
can remember being at my local GP for a minor
problem. I mentioned things weren't going too well
and that I was finding my parents’ separation difficult.
He referred me to the local base hospital where I met
with a counsellor.
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49.
Life can be so funny. One day you meet a girl and the
next you're married with 3.2 children and have a
mortgage around your neck. Then the day after you
find yourself divorced and wondering if you ever did
love this person you thought was so wonderful. Love
can be a wonderful thing and it took me most of my
life to find it, a long time after my divorce. When you
finally meet the person who ticks all the boxes and
really floats your boat on all levels, life can seem so
fulfilling. People say, “It's better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all”. At least I don't have
to go through the rest of my life wondering what love
really is. To lose a loved one through either separation
or death can be and is usually a catastrophic event for
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everyone. Finding a way through it can be so difficult.
Sometimes you just have to accept that things
happen for a reason and sometimes we never know
the reason. Adopting this attitude, whether it is right or
wrong, can help you get through the trials and
tribulation life throws at us all.
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50.
Trust Funds
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adopt the philosophy “If I die the kids can have it all”.
Do you really want to leave it to your kids though only
to have a low-life, good-for-nothing partner of one of
them take half of it?
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51.
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but I have said this over and over to my kids... “If you
buy stuff, what do you end up with? - stuff all!” If you
are searching for happiness in possessions then you
will never find happiness. There is more to it than that.
People say money makes the world go round, but
people are what make the world worth living in. We all
get caught up running around like headless chickens
trying to make money and get ahead, and that's
important but the opportunity to spend time with those
we care about is even more important. I read this
once... “Most of us instinctively feel that happiness is
out there in an external person, place or object.
However, no matter what we have or how much we
have, we are perpetually dissatisfied. Similarly, we
often believe if we just follow others’ wonderful advice,
not only would our problems cease, but also the world
would be a better place. Unfortunately, this is not the
case. Each of us is unique, no one in the world is
exactly like us. We have many faces when dealing
with stress and therefore various moods.”
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52.
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themselves. As I get older I have begun to realise how
important really good friends are, and to concentrate
on seeing more of the people I really care about, and
know care about me.”
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