The Naked Truth

Rachit AgarwalScene opens in a crowded coffee shop, with two friends sipping their coffees.“Tis bullshit, I tell ya!”“What is?”“This whole nudity debate.”“What about it?”“Tis bullshit, I tell ya!”“I got that. But what bit about it?”“The whole thing”. Then, mischievously, “the full monty!”“You against it?”“Are you crazy?”Thinks a bit, and then, “I

against the debate, if that’s what you mean.”“That is not what Imeant.”“Then what did you mean?”“Are you against nudity?”“Are you against breathing?”“Are you stupid?”“Nudity’s as natural as breathing.”“Is not.”“Is.”“I beg to disagree.”“How were you born?”Replying as though what to make of the question, “the normal way, you know…?”“Nude or fully clothed?”“Nude, of course!”“QED, nudity’s natural.”“I was also born with a pea of a wiener.”“So?”“Things grow, people grow. Things change, people change.”“But that’s just wrong. I mean, early man didn’tneed clothes, why shouldwe?”Matter of factly, “early man also roamed around on foot. And had raw food. And…”Quickly cutting in, “a matter of convenience.”“So what are you implying?”“That people should be allowed to roam around naked if they want.”Spying some hot girls, addsmischievously, “think of the possibilities.”“And thus to protect the opposite sex from animals like you, nudity in public isn’tallowed.”“What?”“Half the girls will end up getting rapedon the first day. By you!”“People will gradually become immune to nudity, and it wouldn’t be such a big turn-on anymore. Earlywomenweren’t raped, were they?”Sarcastically, “cave drawings

are

a bit fuzzy on that issue.”“Think of nudity as an art form, and public nudity as the right to expression.”“Not everyone’s Vinci’s descendent.”Irritated, “do you say things just for the heck of it?”“I mean, not everyone will think of nudity as art which needs to be appreciated. There

are

some sleazeballs.”