A Warning for Indian Bachelors

Essential reading for men planning to get married in India.

Beware of the legal havoc that your wife can unleash on you and your innocent family members. Protect yourself and your family from years of imprisonment, harassment, blackmail, extortion and false litigation by an unscrupulous Indian wife and her family.

Last updated: Oct 02, 2012

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

Table of Contents
Table of Contents...................................................................................................................... 2 1) Introduction............................................................................................................................ 3 2) Who are we?.......................................................................................................................... 3 3) Current Indian Laws regarding Marriage.............................................................................4 4. Warning igns of an !busi"e #ersonalit$ and %uture 4&'! girl(fa)il$.............................4 *. #recautions........................................................................................................................... * 5.1) reli!inar" precautions...............................................................................................5 5.2) #uring courtship...........................................................................................................$ 5.%) #uring &arriage 'ere!onies.......................................................................................( 5.)) A*ter &arriage..............................................................................................................( +) Miscellaneous........................................................................................................................ & ,) %re-uentl$ !s.ed /uestions................................................................................................& ') 0el1lines and websites for )en in distress......................................................................12 &) What can I do?..................................................................................................................... 12 12. !ddendu).......................................................................................................................... 12 10.1) I ' )+(A................................................................................................................ 1% 10.2) #o,r" rohi-ition Act..............................................................................................1% 10.%) I ' )0$................................................................................................................... 1% 10.%a) Istreedhan............................................................................................................. 1) 10.)) #. Act.................................................................................................................... 1) 10.5) &aintenance *or ,i*e under 'r ' 125 / 0&A 2) / 1ec 22 #.................................15 10.$) Ali!on"................................................................................................................... 15 10.2) Adulter".................................................................................................................. 15 10.() 'hild custod" and 3isitation....................................................................................15 10.+) 4pco!ing gender5-iased la,s................................................................................1$ 10.+a) 1alar" to ,i*e........................................................................................................ 1$ 10.+-) IrB& 6Irretrie3a-le -rea7do,n o* !arriage)...........................................................1$

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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

! Introduction
#ear 8ligi-le Bachelor, 1o "ou are thin7ing o* getting !arried9 'ongratulations: But -e*ore "ou start on this ,onder*ul ne, ;ourne", please -e a,are o* so!e Indian !arriage la,s that could easil" destro$ "our li*e, sanit", reputation and assets i* "ou !arr" the ,rong ,o!an. <ou ,ill -e surprised to learn that in the "ear 2011 alone, as !an" as 1,%+,)0% !en 6hus-ands/ hus-and=s *ather/ -rothers /!ale relati3es) and )1,2+( ,o!en 6hus-and=s !other/ sisters/ *e!ale relati3es) were arrested under such cruel laws . 4nderstanda-l", in 2011 itsel* $2,)%% Indian hus-ands co))itted suicide 6i.e. a suicide e3er" + !inutes) -ecause o* legal pressures and harass!ent unleashed on the! -" their ,i3es and in5la,s. With thousands o* cases 6)+(A) happening per "ear, this is a social ti!e5-o!-: lease note that these la,s are applica-le onl" i* "ou !arr" a girl *ro! India, -ecause no other countr" appro3es o* such ridiculousl" one5sided and gender -iased la,s. We 7no,, "ou are pro-a-l" thin7ing that this ,ill ne"er happen to "ou. Well, ,e sincerel" hope so too. But please do "oursel* a *a3or and read on, -ecause this 7no,ledge could pro3e to -e a li*e5sa3er in case "our ,i*e turns out to -e di**erent *ro! ,hat she currentl" see!s to -e. We are not tr"ing to scare "ou o** *ro! !arr"ing "our lo3ed one, -ut ;ust in*or!ing "ou o* the true and -itter e>periences o* !illions o* Indian !en li7e us ,ho ended up -eing ;ailed, harassed, -lac7!ailed and e>torted -" their unscrupulous ,i3es and in5la,s.

"! #ho are we$

We are the ones who got hit. Now we are trying to save you. We are a group o* 3oluntar" acti3ists ,ho ha3e so *ar sa3ed thousands o* innocent hus-ands and their *a!ilies *ro! going to ;ail 6i* the" contacted us -e*ore it ,as too late). We o**er help free of cost and our !e!-ers !eet on ,ee7l" -asis in their respecti3e cities across India and a-road to pro3ide support to 3icti!s. We guide the! ho, to de*end the!sel3es legall" and !a7e their opposition run *or their !one". We also tr" our -est to ,arn potential 3icti!s 6 li.e $ou) and ,e ;oin our hands to oppose !ore such upco!ing gender5-iased la,s that are currentl" -eing dra*ted. Our a3erage age is %0, and !ost o* us are ,ell ?uali*ied engineers, doctors, and &BAs *ro! prestigious institutions in India and a-road. We ,ere doing 3er" ,ell in our careers -e*ore ,e *ound oursel3es dragged into *alse cases that ,ere *a-ricated -" our ,i3es and in5la,s. We all ha3e either *aced/are *acing/or are a-out to *ace such *alse accusations -ased on !isuse o* Indian ,o!en5oriented la,s. &an" o* us and our *a!il" !e!-ers ,ere *orced into ;ails *or no *ault o* ours. While su**ering due to such inhu!an la,s oursel3es, ,e reali@ed the i!portance o* ti!el" and accurate in*or!ation, ,hich ,e are no, spreading through this docu!ent. 83en i* "ou ne3er *ace the sa!e
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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

night!are as ,e did, pass this in*or!ation on to so!eone ,ho !ight -e harassed and 3icti!i@ed -" his ,i*e and in5la,s.

%! Current Indian &aws regarding 'arriage

Ahe current legal s"ste! in regards to !arriage la,s is highl" anti5!ale. Ahere are !ore than a do@en anti5!ale, inhu!an and unconstitutional gender5-iased la,s ,hich openl" *lout principles o* natural ;ustice, and !an" !ore such la,s are co!ing up 6see addendu! *or details). Ahese la,s are spoiling the !arriage s"ste! and di3orce rate is on the rise. Once "ou are trapped, it is ne>t to i!possi-le to escape the ne>us o* *e!inist5la,"ers5;udges5go3ern!ent. <ou !a" need an",here -et,een 5 to 10 "ears to pro3e "our innocence. Note: Because of rising awareness about misuse of women-oriented laws, more and more men are refusing to get married to a girl/in a family where false 4 !" cases were #reviously filed. We have found that such girls are generally doomed to a terrible life once they start false litigations against their husbands and in-laws. It is very difficult for them to find their next victim when they get tagged as 4 !" women. $hey then reali%e that they will li&ely live alone for the rest of their lives, and therefore, they drag cases in courts against their former husbands to e'tort as much money as #ossible. (f you are the one being tra##ed as their next victim )husband*, then #lease watch out. (t is a well &nown fact that 4 !" women are li&e leeches who will eventually suc& the blood of the very man who has fed her, loved her and ta&en care of her+ Ahere are 3arious la,s that are -eing !isused -" ,o!en against hus-ands "ou need to -e a,are o*. Ahese are discussed !ore in detail in the Addendu!, at the end o* this docu!ent.

(. #arning )igns of an *busive Personality and +uture (,-* girl.family

I* "our girl*riend/*iancB or her *a!il" is displa"ing a co!-ination o* these -eha3iors, then "ou !ight -e dealing ,ith a potential )+(A a-user. 1. 0er fa)il$3 Is ne,l"5rich, li7es to sho,5o** their house/cars/paintings/relati3es/ connections. Ahe" are related to politicians/-ureaucrats/la,"ers/;udges/police o**icers. Ahe" !a" -e li3ing -e"ond their !eans. Ahe" !a" ha3e a histor" o* *iling cases against an"-od" and e3er"-od" 6search the ,e-site o* the courts in their state o* residence). Ahe" !a" -eat up their e!plo"ees. Wo!en in their *a!il" !a" ha3e -een in !ore than one pre3ious relationship. 2. Co))it)ent #usher3 1he co!es on 3er" strong, clai!ing, C(,ve/we-ve never felt loved li&e this by anyone/or so close to anybody. C An a-usi3e girl/her *a!il" ,ill put pressure on "ou/"our *a!il" *or an e>clusi3e co!!it!ent al!ost i!!ediatel". 3. 4ealous3 8>cessi3el" possessi3eD calls constantl" or 3isits une>pectedl"D s!ells "our ;ac7et *or per*u!e residueD chec7s "our shirt collar *or lipstic7 !ar7sD and goes through "our poc7ets secretl".

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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

4. Control frea.3 Interrogates "ou intensel" 6especiall" i* "ouEre late) a-out ,ho! "ou tal7ed to and ,here "ou ,ereD ,ants her na!e on all "our assets and controls all the !one". 'hec7s "our laptop/!o-ile *or possi-le clues all the ti!e. *. 5nrealistic3 8>pects "ou to -e the per*ect !an and !eet her and her *a!il"Es e3er" need, ho,e3er unrealistic. +. 6i"ider 7 8uler3 Aries to cut "ou o** *ro! *a!il" and *riendsD accuses "our ,ell5 ,ishers o* Ccausing troubleF. ,. !ttention see.er3 Ahese girls are al,a"s need" and see7ing attention. Ahe" ,ould ne3er allo, "ou to !i> sociall", especiall" ,ith the opposite se>, e3en i* she is "our cousin. '. 9la)e:ga)er3 Boss/e!plo"ee/e>5-o"*riend/e>5hus-and 5 itEs al,a"s so!eone elseEs *ault i* an"thing goes ,rong in her li*e. &. 0olds e"er$one else res1onsible for her own feelings3 1he ,ill sa" C.ou ma&e me angryF instead o* C( am angryF or, C.ou,re hurting me by not doing what ( tell you.C <ou ,ould al!ost ne3er hear her sa" C.ou ma&e me ha##yC. 12. 0$1ersensiti"e3 Is easil" insultedD clai!s that her *eelings are hurt ,hen she is reall" !ad. 1heEll rant a-out ho, un;ust people are to her e3en i* the" are ?uite *air. 11. 5nbalanced rigid societ$ roles3 8>pects "ou to ser3e and o-e" her/her *a!il" -ut ,ould ne3er *ollo, societal e>pectations o* a ,o!an. 12. udden )ood swings3 1,itches *ro! s,eetl" lo3ing to e>plosi3el" 3iolent in a !atter o* !inutes or, e3en ,orse, seconds. <ou=ll *eel "ou are ,al7ing on CeggshellsC all the ti!e. 13. Threatening3 &a7es state!ents li7e, C/y #arents will su##ort me even if ( murder someone,C or C" woman is always right/the system should always believe the woman,C or C( will cut you u# the way a fisherman slices a fish, C and then dis!isses her o,n threats ,ith, C 0h, everybody tal&s that way, C or C( didn,t really mean it.C I* things ha3e co!e this *ar, it is high ti!e "ou get help and get out -e*ore it is too late:

/. Precautions
Ahere is GO sure shot *or!ula to co!pletel" a3oid -eing hit -" *alse cases -ased on gender5-iased la,s. 1o instead o* telling "ou H don-t marry at allF, ,e ha3e co!piled so!e practical tips that "ou can use to protect "oursel*. I* the girl "ou are planning to !arr" sounds li7e the one descri-ed -elo,, #L;! ; T<# before it=s too late. 1a3e "oursel* and "our *a!il". Ahere are !illions o* good girls out there. 'ontinue "our search *or another partner, "ou ,ill surel" *ind "our soul !ate.

/. ! Preliminary precautions
#O GOA !arr" in a *a!il" in ,hich the girl, sister or e3en a cousin e3er *iled a )+(A case. Our e>perience indicates that *a!ilies in ,hich ,o!en pre3iousl" *iled *alse do,r" cases ,ill *ile it in *uture as ,ell. We strongl" reco!!end to co!pletel" -o"cott girls and *a!ilies that ha3e *iled *alse )+(A cases. #O conduct a -ac7ground chec7 o* her *a!il" and 3eri*" that the" don=t ha3e a cri!inal -ac7ground/court cases/unla,*ul -usinesses, especiall" i* the girl is *ro! another cit". 4se a detecti3e i* "ou can a**ord one. Ahis !a" sound li7e ,astage -ut is ,orth it.
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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

I* this is her second !arriage, then -e e3en !ore cautious. O*ten such girls ha3e harassed their pre3ious hus-ands ,ith such la,s and possi-l" e>torted large su!s o* !one" *ro! the!. 'hec7 her di3orce papersD see7 in*or!ation using IAI 6Iight to In*or!ation Act o* 2005) *ro! her local police station or court. #i3orce papers not onl" !ean H#i3orce decreeF. lease don=t *orget to see &O4 6&e!orandu! o* 4nderstanding) attached ,ith it. Ar" to in3estigate i* the girl=s *a!il" has a pattern o* ?uic7 di3orces. I* so, "ou !ight ;ust -e a lin7 in a long series o* !en that this *a!il" plans to e>tort one a*ter another. I* "ou -elie3e in astrolog", get an e>pert to do the !atch5!a7ing o* not onl" Hgun5 !ilaanF -ut also co!plete HJundli !ilaanF.

/."! 0uring courtship

Be ,ar" o* the personalit" signs descri-ed in the section )H Warning 1igns of an abusive #ersonality and future 4 !" girl/family . Be cautious, i* she and her parents are li3ing -e"ond their !eans and li7e to *launt their designer shoes, clothes, cars etc. Iesearch and see i* the" ha3e gone under a huge a!ount o* de-t ;ust to pretend to -e Hrich and *a!ousF. O*ten )+(A *a!ilies ha3e political connections and ,ould use such connections to a-use the la,s and threaten hus-ands *or !one". 'hec7 i* the" tal7 a-out such connections or -oast a-out the!. I* the girl or her parents casuall" tal7 a-out police, courts, la,s, litigation etc, then -e 3er" cautious. O*ten the !other o* such girls do!inates the *atherD and sisters o* such girls do!inate their hus-ands. <ou should -e a-le to spot this. 0er parents !ight pretend to -e 3er" religious, honest and hard,or7ing -e*ore the !arriage and slo,l" "ou !ight start to reali@e that the" actuall" spea7 in a 3er" *oul5!outhed !anner a!ongst the!sel3es. Ahis is a clear sign o* a t,o5 *aced *a!il" that "ou are !arr"ing into. I* the girl "ou are a-out to get !arried to spea7s in a 3er" *or!al and su-!issi3e !anner to "ou, -ut spea7s in a totall" di**erent tone ,ith her other *a!il" !e!-ers or *riends, then treat this as a ,arning sign. O*ten such girls are insecure and start *eeling ;ealous 3er" easil". <ou should -e a-le to spot this. Ar" co!pli!enting an actress on her -eaut"/*igure or e3en acting s7ills, "ou !ight get to see a gli!pse o* ,hat lies ahead o* "ou.

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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

O*ten such girls su**er *ro! 3arious !ental health disorders. 'o!!on ones are Bipolar A**ecti3e disorder 6also 7no,n as &anic #epressi3e disorder), Borderline ersonalit" #isorder, #epression, An>iet" and O-sessi3e 'o!pulsi3e #isorder. 'hec7 her !edicines and !edical records *or the diagnosis. O*ten such girls are 3indicti3e and re3enge*ul. As7 her the ,orst that she has done to so!eone to teach hi!/her a lesson. Ahis ,ill gi3e "ou an indication o* ho, inhu!an she can -e ,hen push co!es to sho3e. Ahe girl !ight o*ten tell "ou during the courtship period that she has a terri-le te!per ,hene3er she sees an" in;ustice. Ahis !a" sound reasona-le and cute initiall", -ut treat this as a ,arning sign -ecause a*ter !arriage, an"thing that does not go according to her ,ishes !ight -e interpreted as a terri-le in;ustice in her !ind. O*ten such girls ha3e !astered the art o* l"ing. Ahe" ha3e plent" o* !en ,anting the! and the" e>pertl" e>ploit others ,ith their s,eet tal7. 'hec7 ho, !an" !ale and *e!ale *riends the" ha3e and ,hat do their *riends sa" a-out her 6especiall" other girls). #uring the courtship period, i* the girl G8.8I tal7s a-out her *a!il" !e!-ers and ?uic7l" changes the su-;ect i* "ou happen to as7, then do not ignore this ,arning. Ahat *a!il" !ight ha3e a past that the" do not ,ish to di3ulge. #uring the courtship period, she !ight tell "ou that she is not a!-itious and ,ould ;ust li7e to sta" at ho!e and ta7e care o* "ou and "our *a!il". But as "our !arriage gets closer her a!-itions ,ill shi*t and "ou ,ill -e e>pected to *ul*ill her ,ishes to stud" a-road, *ind her a ;o- ,ith e>cellent pac7age etc. Gone o* these things are ,rong -" the!sel3es, -ut -e ,ar" o* a girl ,ho -eco!es a!-itious in su-stantial incre!ents as the relationship progresses. I* the girl as7s "ou ?uestions in passing a-out H who owns this houseF and Hin whose name is that carF, then -e ,ar" i* such ?uestions e>ceed a reasona-le li!it. Listen to "our gut *eeling. #on=t disregard "our instincts K "our instincts are there to protect "ou. I* the girl=s *a!il" suddenl" shi*ts to another cit" or changes their *a!il" -usiness i!!ediatel" -e*ore the ,edding, then treat that as a ,arning sign. I* the girl=s *a!il" starts as7ing "ou *or -usiness *a3ors, loans and in3est!ent in their sche!es e3en -e*ore the ,edding, tread cautiousl". O*ten such girls or their *a!il" ,ould as7 "ou *or "our salar" slip and/or propert" docu!ents -e*ore !arriage ,hich should ha3e no -earing on "our !arriage. Alar! -ells should start ringing in "our head i* the" as7 "ou *or an" o* these. Ahese are later used -" such girls and their *a!ilies in court to e>tract huge a!ounts o* !one" o** "ou.
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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

/.%! 0uring 'arriage Ceremonies

I* her parents insist on a la3ish ,edding #81 IA8 "ou pressing *or a si!ple ,edding, then this !ight -e a trap. lease do not put "oursel* or "our parents at ris7. 6< 1re1are a list of all gifts gi"en or ta.en during )arriage. Let it signed -" the -ride as ,ell as the -ridegroo!, along ,ith t,o ,itnesses. 0er parents !ight -eha3e ?uestiona-l" during the ,edding. For e>a!ple, i* the" are 3ideo recording e3er" little detail, e>change o* gi*ts etcD the" !ight -e preparing to *ile a *alse do,r" case on "ou later on. Be e>tra cautious i* this is the second !arriage o* the girl. I* "our in5la,s are gi*ting or pa"ing *or e>penses through che?ues/dra*ts, ta7e this as a sure shot sign. Ahe" ,ill use these to *ile *alse cases o* do,r" harass!ent. Lroo!=s side also spends e>tensi3el" -ut o*ten does not 7eep records o* purchasing e>pensi3e clothes, accessories, cele-ration e>penses etc. #O 7eep all .AA paid -ills. Al,a"s 7eep the -ills o* gold and other ;e,elr" that "ou purchase *or her. I* possi-le, #O GOA -u" an" propert" on "our na!e till the ti!e "ou are sure that "ou ha3e !arried the right person. It !ight ta7e a *e, "ears to -e certain, -ut it is -etter to -e sa*e than to -e sorr" *or the rest o* "our li*e. #O GOA disclose "our -an7 account/e!ail pass,ords to her, not at least *or the *irst *e, "ears into !arriage. Let "our !arriage registered in 1#& o**ice and !ention on a**ida3it 6*ro! -oth sides) that HGo do,r" ,ere e>changed -e*ore/during and a*ter !arriageF. Jeep the cop" o* a**ida3it ,ith "ou. #o 7eep all record o* !one" spent on hone"!oon, clothing, household e>penses, *ine dining, !edical -ills etc 6as girls later clai! that the" ,ere depri3ed o* all this in their !atri!onial ho!es). Jeep regular snaps and 3ideos o* good ti!es ,hen "ou go out to cele-rate, dine, ,atch !o3ies, sociali@e and tra3el ,ith "our ,i*e. Ahese ,ill ser3e as proo*s in "our *a3or i* she decides to *ile *alse case o* cruelt" against "ou later. 1he !ight clai! that she ,as ne3er allo,ed to go out o* the house, ,as -eaten dail", and ,as ne3er allo,ed to !eet people, spend an" !one", or do an"thing -esides household chores li7e a sla3e.

/.(! *fter 'arriage

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A Warning For Indian Bachelors

1! 'iscellaneous
In the addendu! section -elo,, "ou ,ill co!e o* 7no, o* so!e la,s that she and her *a!il" !e!-ers can !isuse to harass "ou to death. Ahere ,ere cases ,here e3en the hus-and=s +2 "ear old grand!other and $ "ear old nephe, ,ere arrested under *alse cases: <ou ,ill need to 7eep going to courts since the gender -iased la,s !a7e the 1tate *ight against "ou, and the 1tate has no pro-le! dragging the !atter *or decades. It=s a -usiness *or e3er"one 5 olice, Mudicial s"ste!, the girl and her *a!il" K the" ,ill !a7e loads o* !one" o** o* "ou. I* "our in5la,s ha3e a !alicious -ent o* !ind and Lod *or-id i* "our ,i*e happens to !eet ,ith an accident or unnatural death ,ithin 2 "ears *ro! the date o* !arriage, chances are that this e3ent ,ill -e ter!ed as a Hdo,r"5deathF and "ou ,ill surel" ha3e a 3er" hard ti!e pro3ing "oursel* and "our *a!il" innocent. Bail is also not eas" in such la,s and the -urden to pro3e "oursel* innocent lies on "ou. Lirl or her *a!il" doesn=t ha3e to su-stantiate their accusations ,ith proo* to !a7e "our li*e a li3ing hell.

2! +re3uently *sked 4uestions

If I shout at )$ wife in self:defense> can she file a case against )e? 1he could *ile a case against "ou clai!ing that "ou ha3e harassed and tortured her ,ith do!estic a-use. 1he !a" ,ish to add the N)+(A= section along. #on=t e3er shout at her, e3en in sel*5de*ense. If I a) sla11ed and .ic.ed b$ )$ wife> e"en if it is un1ro"o.ed> can I charge her under 6o)estic ?iolence act? Jindl" accept our apologies to -rea7 this ne,s to "ou. <ou are a !an. Ahis act is created *or ,o!en onl", "ou ha3e no such rights. <ou can=t e3en shout -ac7, let alone hit: Can I ha"e a 1renu1tial agree)ent that will sa"e )e fro) future 1roble)s? renuptial agree!ents are not 3alid in India, hence ,ill -e o* no use. 0ow )uch financial loss will I suffer if things don=t wor. out between )e and )$ wife? Ahere is no certain ,a" o* telling. Li3en the current cli!ate, "ou !a" end up losing at least hal* o* all "our assets, irrespecti3e o* the duration o* "our !arriage. Is there absolutel$ no wa$ I can 1rotect )$self( )$ 1arents if things go wrong in future? Although there is no 100O ,a" to -e co!pletel" sa*e, "ou can sa*eguard "oursel* and "our parents -" learning *ro! this docu!ent, and attending local !eetings o* the support group as soon as possi-le *or *urther detailed suggestions. M$ sister wants to get )arried to a gu$ whose sister has filed a 4&'! case. hould she? lease protect "our sister *ro! this *a!il". Ahis gu" !a" -e a-solutel" *ine, -ut a ,o!an ,ho has *iled a )+(A is li7el" to -e 3indicti3e and nast". lease do not ris7 "our sister=s li*e -" !arr"ing her in that *a!il". A )+(A ,o!an is the !ost discontented
age + o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

,o!an "ou can *ind, so 7eep "our sister a,a" *ro! such a ,o!an. Also, it is possi-le that her -rother !ight ha3e hi!sel* pro3o7ed her to lodge the pre3ious *alse co!plaints. 0e !ight cause trou-le *or "our sister in *uture too. We strongl" ad3ise to sta" a,a" *ro! )+(A *a!ilies. Can $ou 1ro"ide )e with a good law$er at later stage> if re-uired? We do not ad3ertise or suggest an" la,"ers or la, agencies. Ahe sa!e la,"er could turn out to -e good *or one and -ad *or another. But ,e can suggest that "ou get ad3ice *ro! a cri!inal la,"er and not ci3il or *a!il" la,"er. Is there an$ 1unish)ent for a wo)an if she files false cases? GO, there is a-solutel" no punish!ent *or her e3en i* she is pro3ed to ha3e *iled a *alse case. M$ )arriage is )ore than se"en $ears old. I ha"e heard that dowr$ co)1laint can onl$ be filed within se"en $ears. Can she still file the sa)e? <es, 3er" !uch. 1e3en "ears restriction is not applica-le to )+(A. Is it a good idea to e)1lo$ a detecti"e to gather bac.ground infor)ation on the girl? &one" spent -e*ore di**iculties arise is al,a"s -etter. We do not ad3ertise an" detecti3esD ho,e3er "ou !a" -e inclined to use so!eone ,ho has alread" -een success*ull" used -" one o* the 3olunteers -e*ore. If )$ wife troubles )e in future> she is the one who will suffer the )ost> isn=t it? It=s hard to predict and !easure su**ering. But an eas" ,a" to understand this is -" considering suicide rates. A,ice as !an" !arried !en co!!it suicides than !arried ,o!en. Ahin7 a-out it. Well> )$ )other and sister are also wo)en@ the$ will ha"e the sa)e rights as )$ wife. The$ can use their rights and 1owers against )$ wife if re-uired? <es and Go. 4n*ortunatel", the la,s and !inistries in India are !ade to support ,i3es rather than ,o!en per se. <our !other and sister can support "ou and help "ou sa3e "our *a!il", -ut "our ,i*e ,ill al,a"s ha3e !ore legal and political po,er than the!. Ahe Indian legal !achiner" ,or7s to protect the interest o* one ,o!an 6,i*e) ,hile den"ing the -asic hu!an rights to three or *our other ,o!en o* "our *a!il" 6!other, sisters, sister5in5la,s). Ahis is ho, the Indian gender5-ased la,s ,or7, sadl". I a) not sure if $ou are telling the truth here or Aust tr$ing to s1read )ass 1s$chosis? We are a social acti3ist group. We gi3e our ti!e and e**orts to help people li7e "ou and those ,ho are alread" trapped. We suggest that "ou go on the internet and search *or N)+(A=, NLegal terroris!= and N!isuse o* gender -iased la,s=. Ahen "ou can decide "oursel* ho, "ou ,ish to plan "our li*e ahead.

age 10 o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

What if one of )$ friends is )arried to so)eone who has a fa)il$ )e)ber who filed a 4&'! in the 1ast? I* "ou are a good *riend, "ou can do t,o things. Ad3ise hi! to contact us i!!ediatel" and secondl" pra" *or hi!. An apolog" *or the co!parison dra,n here, -ut a )+(A ,o!an is li7e a ra-id ani!al 5 i* "ou are -itten, the chances o* "our sur3i3al are al!ost nil, unless "ou i!!ediatel" see7 !edical attention. Ahis ans,er co!es *ro! a doctor ,ho has e>perienced a )+(A ,o!an. I a) in Lo"e with this girl and I want to )arr$ her des1ite .nowing that her sister filed a 4&'! on her 1re"ious husband. What should I do? Lo3e is a -eauti*ul *eeling and ,e respect and appreciate that. 8nd o* the da", it is "our choice i* "ou ,ish to ta7e the ris7 or not. We ,ould suggest a *e, things as !entioned in this docu!ent to sa*eguard "oursel* and "our elderl" parents ,ho deser3e a peace*ul retire!ent a*ter ha3ing ,or7ed hard all their li3es to support "ou and "our si-ling6s). Although, ,e strongl" ad3ise "ou GOA to get !arried in a )+(A *a!il". Let=s sa$ I ignore this warning docu)ent and get )arried. Would $ou decline to hel1 )e if I ca)e to see. $our hel1 in future? We are a social acti3ist group, and pro3ide *ree support irrespecti3e o* caste, creed and religion. We ,ould not decline an" support to "ou -ut ,ould rather *eel e3en sorrier *or "ou. Al!ost e3er"one ,ho co!es to us has alread" co!!itted that !ista7e in nai3et". <ou !a" ,ish to learn *ro! "our o,n !ista7es or the !ista7es o* others. Ahe choice is "ours. If I donBt get )arried and sta$ in a li"e:in relationshi1> how safe will I be? Apart *ro! the do,r" la, 6)+(A), she can still *ile #o!estic .iolence, !aintenance and rape charges against "ou i* things don=t go her ,a". 1o -e care*ul. I a) not a 0indu@ all these gender biased laws are against 0indus. !) I right? Must as terroris! doesn=t loo7 at religionD )+(A too doesn=t ha3e an" restriction on the -asis o* religion. We ha3e acti3ists and 3icti!s *ro! all religions. I a) a rich gu$. I don=t need )one$ or dowr$ fro) an$one. I a) sure if )$ wife co)1lains> the #olice and 4udiciar$ will be able to see through her tra1. Isn=t it? <ou are rightD the" are li7el" to see through the trap. &ost police o**icers and ;udges 7no, a-out the la,s -eing !isused. But the olice o**icers ,ant to e>tract !one" out o* "ou and the ;udges don=t ,ant to go against the *e!inists. <ou ,ill ha3e to -e dragged into the courtroo! and !a"-e into ;ail till "ou pro3e "our innocence. I a) a 1oor gu$. The girl I a) )arr$ing is rich. Can she as. for )aintenance and ali)on$ if we were to go se1arate wa$s? <es she can. It does not !atter i* her *inancial status is higher than "ours. Ie!e!-er, it is a one ,a" tra**ic. &one" al,a"s *lo,s *ro! &an to ,o!an in the Indian legal s"ste!.

age 11 o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

Well I ha"e read the law. It sa$s gi"ing and recei"ing dowr$ both are offences. o if )$ wifeBs fa)il$ clai)s that I recei"ed dowr$> then the$ are also co))itting an offence. Would the$ not be e-uall$ guilt$ and hence be 1unished? <es and Go. <es the" are guilt" as per the la,, -ut the" ,ill not -e punished. 83en i* "ou co!plain to the olice that "our in5la,s are gi3ing "ou do,r" against "our ,ishes, the" ,ill not -e punished. 1uch is the la, un*ortunatel" and hence !en su**er. Ahis is e>actl" the 7ind o* in;ustice that ,e *ight against. 2.13 (f in doubt about any of these 4"5-s, you may wish to visit your local 2olice station and chec& informally about these laws, or you may visit the local family court or even a sim#le 6oogle search might be sufficient. Better still7 visit us during our wee&ly meetings where we hel# victims of such misuse. 2revention is always better than cure.

-! 5elplines and websites for men in distress

lease don=t hesitate to contact an" one *ro! "our cit" in the list a3aila-le on these ,e-sites. Ahe longer "ou dela", the deeper "ou ,ill sin7, and the harder it ,ill -e *or "ou and "our *a!il" to sur3i3e the trau!a. All help lines are !anaged -" *or!er 3icti!s the!sel3es and the" do not charge an$thing for ad"ice. In case an"one as7s "ou *or an" !one", please -ring this to our notice.
http://,,,.)+(a.org http://,,,.sa3eindian*a!il".org http://sahodar.org/ http://!"nation.net/

,! #hat can I do$

#epending on "our current situation, there is a lot "ou can do: <ou should stop ;udging other !en negati3el" as soon as a ,o!an co!plains against the!. <ou should ?uestion social constructs ,hich *orce !en to earn !anhood or su**er a-use -ecause it is considered un!anl" to raise 3oice against such a-use. <ou should challenge all *or!s o* anti5!ale attitudes, la,s and !edia content. <ou should -e a,are o* such incidents in "our area and support the *a!il" against these -iased la,s. <ou should stop -elie3ing that Lirls/Wo!en are al,a"s right and !en are al,a"s ,rong. <ou !ust ;oin a &en=s organi@ation locall" and *ight against !isuse o* such gender -iased la,s especiall" i* "ou ha3e su**ered -ecause o* these. I* there is no such local organi@ation, then start one "oursel* and others ,ould ;oin.

6. *ddendum
lease read a-out the 3arious la,s that are -eing !isused -" ,o!en to harass hus-ands and their *a!ilies. Ahis is onl" an o3er3ie, o* the la,s. <ou !a" ,ish to gather detailed in*or!ation *ro! us or *ro! "our *a!il" la,"er.
age 12 o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

6. ! IPC (,-* <ou !ight -e a!a@ed to learn a-out the a!ount o* legal a!!unition that the Indian go3ern!ent pro3ides to a ,i*e under section I ' )+(A. I!agine i* "ou ha3e a s!all disagree!ent ,ith "our ,i*e and she 6 through her own will or instigated by someone in her family ) decides to teach "ou a lesson and ,rites a short letter to the police station sa"ing that "ou are -eing cruel to her and harassing her *or do,r". 1he !ight choose to -e creati3e and coo7 up i!aginar" incidents o* cruelt" to hersel*. 1uddenl", "ou ,ill *ind "oursel* 6and "our parents, si-lings, their spouses and e3en distant relati3es) in AailC Dour Aail sentence )ight be eEtended u1 to three $ears. <ou !ight ha3e to pa" crores o* Iupees and all "our assets to get out o* that night!are. Once "ou are in that ,e-, "ou are at the !erc" o* "our ,i*e and in5la,s and !ight ha3e to -o, to their unreasona-le de!ands. 0onora-le 1upre!e 'ourt o* India has ter!ed )+(a as CLegal terroris!C -ut the la, continues to -e !isused. )+(A is the !ost dangerous cri!inal pro3ision across the glo-e in !atri!onial disputes. As long as "ou 7eep *ollo,ing "our ,i*e=s orders li7e a la!-, all ,ill -e *ine, -ut i* "ou dare to diso-e" her 6 including her demand to dum# your own #arents and start su##orting her #arents instead ) "ou/"our parents/relati3es/*riends e3er"-od" ,ill -e -oo7ed under I ' )+(A. It is non5 -aila-le and there is no HundoF *or it once "our ,i*e slaps it on "ou and "our *a!il". Ahere are hundreds o* such 3icti!s and horror stories in India. A si!ple Loogle search on the !atter ,ill re3eal the shoc7ing truth. lease read !ore a-out it at ,,,.)+(a.org

6."! 0owry Prohibition *ct

<ou are an educated, hard5,or7ing, !odern !an ,ho does not -elie3e in the traditional practices o* do,r". Lood *or "ou: But let=s sa" that at "our ,edding, "our ,i*e=s *a!il" 6through their own free will), decides to gi*t "ou a ,atch, *lat, car, electronics, clothes, *urniture, and/or an" *or! o* H1hagunF. Fair enough, it=s a gi*t that the" ga3e "ou to sho, their lo3e and a**ection. But then one da", "ou get a legal notice sa"ing that "our ,i*e has co!plained that "ou and "our parents are do,r"5see7ing de!ons who forced her and her fa)il$ to gi3e "ou those 3er" ite!s as do,r": For e>tra e**ect, she !ight also add a *e, crores ,orth o* other i!aginar" ite!s allegedl" gi3en to "ou as do,r". Ahe la, ,ill -lindl" -elie3e her and as7 "ou to pa" -ac7 i!!ediatel". Ahough "ou are co!pletel" innocent, it ,ill ta7e "ou appro>i!atel" 2 "ears in court to pro3e "our innocence. 83er"thing that the" gi3e "ou 6e3en *orci-l") ,ill -e *alsel" ter!ed as do,r" demanded -" "ou.

6.%! IPC (61

One *ine da" ,hen "ou co!e -ac7 *ro! ,or7, "ou reali@e that she is gone and has ta7en all her ;e,elr" and other e>pensi3e ite!s *ro! "our house 6including the ones "ou/"our parents ga3e her). But then, "ou *ind out that D<5 are slapped ,ith section )0$ *or cri!inal -reach o* trust on !isappropriation o* CIstreedhanC. 6"nything and everything given to a woman at marriage can be counted as (streedhan). Ahen so!e da"s later, "our ,i*e can co!e to "our house acco!panied -" the olice to reclai! her ite!s. Whate3er she la"s her *inger on,
age 1% o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

the olice ,ill -elie3e it to -e hers and ta7e it a,a" *ro! "our house K li7e coolies. <ou ,ill not be able to do an$thing to stop this legal dacoit". I* "ou "oursel* happen to -e arrested under section )0$, then "ou ,ill not -e a-le to get -ail as this o**ence is non5-aila-le. &ost hus-ands 3icti!i@ed -" the !isuse o* this la, spend at least 1 !onth in ;ail on a3erage *or GO *ault o* theirs. It is al!ost too eas" *or a ,o!an to get "ou and "our *a!il" pronounced as cri!inals 5 e3en though she is the -urglar hersel*.

6.%a!

Istreedhan

Istreedhan is a traditional practice that ,as pri!aril" !eant to pro3ide ,o!en ,ith so!e le3el o* econo!ic securit" in ad3erse situations li7e di3orce, ,ido,hood, etc. A!ong 0indus, it is interpreted in 3arious ,a"sD in general, Istreedhan is de*ined as that portion o* a ,o!an=s ,ealth o3er ,hich she alone has the po,er to sell, gi*t, !ortgage, lease or e>changeP,hole or in parts. 4suall", Istreedhan is passed *ro! !other to daughter, unless the ,o!an decides other,ise. An" dues *ro! her can also -e reco3ered *ro! her Istreedhan. Besides orna!ents and trousseau gi3en at !arriage, Istreedhan also includes all the gi*ts o* !one", propert", ;e,elr" etc. recei3ed -" the ,o!an -e*ore, during and a*ter !arriage *ro! her *a!il", her hus-and=s *a!il", *riends and e3en strangers. It includes propert" inherited -" the ,o!an *ro! her *a!il" or hus-and=s *a!il"D propert" recei3ed -" her under a co!pro!ise, ad3erse possession or in lieu o* !aintenanceD propert" o-tained in partitionD and propert" -ought using proceeds *ro! Istreedhan. 0o,e3er, gi*ts to the hus-and -" the ,o!an or her relati3es ,ill not -e part o* her Istreedhan. In the case o* a ,or7ing ,o!an, the la, under 1ection 1) o* the 0indu 1uccession Act, 1+5$ enu!erates that the propert" ac?uired -" !eans o* a ,o!an=s earnings, during her !aidenhood as ,ell as ,ido,hood, is her Istreedhan.

6.(! 07 *ct
83en i* "ou, or an" o* "our *a!il" !e!-ers, !a7e a light5hearted re!ar7 to her that she does not li7e, she can go ahead and slap a #. 6#o!estic .iolence) case on "ou. According to the Indian legal s"ste!, she does not need an" proo* to slap a #. case on "ou. Ahen she ,ill !isuse the #. la, to o-tain a rotection Order/Iesidence Order to thro, "ou and "our parents out o* "our o,n house. 1he ,ill -e a-le to continue li3ing in D<58 house 6possi-l" ,ith her -o"*riend). In addition, she can !a7e D<5 pa" her a handso!e !onthl" !aintenance to li3e lu>uriousl" ,hile "ou are out on the streets grinding "our teeth. 1he can con3enientl" use an" de*inition o* Ha-useF to *ra!e "ou as an a-user in *ront o* the olice or the Mudge. For instance, e"en na)e calling is 1unishable under 6? lawC 1he ,ill get a,a" ,ith *a-ricating all 7inds o* ridiculous stories against "ou 6e.g. "ou ha3e -een ph"sicall" hurting, scaring, and harassing her), and D<5 ,ill ha3e to pro3e "our innocence. Further!ore, she can do all of the abo"e to $our 1arents and fa)il$ )e)bers as well . Ahis #. act is GOA *or protecting !ales. 83en i* "our ,i*e or !other in5la, slaps/-eats "ou, "ou cannot do an"thing. As "ou can i!agine, such a ,o!an can threaten "ou into
age 1) o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

li3ing li7e a dog in "our o,n house. 4n*ortunatel", this is ?uic7l" -eco!ing the realit" o* !ost !odern Indian !arriages. 1i!pl" search on the internet *or the #. la, and "ou ,ill -e shoc7ed to *ind out ho, pre3alent it is.

6./! 'aintenance for wife under CrPC "/ . 5'* "( . )ec "" 07
1he can as7 "ou *or !aintenance under ALL these sections and as per recent ;udg!entsD "ou ,ill ha3e to !aintain her at the sa!e li3ing standards that she ,as accusto!ed to -e*ore !arriage or a*ter !arriage, ,hiche3er is higher. I* "our ,i*e is the greed" t"pe, she !a" also as7 to increase her !aintenance a!ount in case "ou get a salar" hi7e e3en a*ter "ears o* separation: eople ha3e e3en -een as7ed to sell their 7idne"s to pa" !aintenance a!ounts or else go to ;ail.

6.1! *limony
1he ,ill as7 *or the s7" ,hen it co!es to Ali!on". 1ince she ,ill pro;ect hersel* as an Cabla naariC in the e"es o* the court, she is 3er" li7el" to get ,hat she as7s *or. Ahe de!and o* Ali!on" starts *ro! a *e, crores these da" *or those li3ing in !etropolitan cities. For those li3ing in s!aller cities, it roughl" starts *ro! 1 crore and *inall" depends on "our a-ilit" to negotiate ,ith "our ,i*e and in5la,s. <ou can decide *or "oursel* ,hich categor" "ou *all into and ,hat a!ount "ou !ight ha3e to shell out in *uture. GII=s are an eas" target *or e>tortion through ali!on" and !aintenance.

6.2! *dultery
Adulter" is 3oluntar" se>ual intercourse -et,een a !arried person and so!eone other than the la,*ul spouse. I* "ou *ind out that "our ,i*e is adulterous, "ou cannot *ile *or di3orce M41A on that -asis. For e>a!ple, e3en i* "ou *ound out that "our ,i*e had a one5night stand "esterda", the court ,ill sa" that Hshe W! li3ing in adulter"F -ut she I "our ,i*e F<W ,ho! "ou 0!?; T< support and !aintain. Ahis is the case e3en i* "ou catch "our ,i*e red5handed. Ahe !ost "ou ,ill -e a-le to do is to *ile a case o* Adulter" on her para!our 6 your wife will be immune to any legal #rosecution under the (ndian legal system ). 1o, t,o !en ,ill *ight ,hile she ,ill !o3e on to so!eone else. 0o,e3er, "ou, -eing a !an, don=t en;o" an" such pri3ileges. 0ea3ens *or-id, i* D<5 !a7e the !ista7e o* ha3ing an e>tra!arital a**air, she ,ill cause all hell to -rea7 loose on "ou. 1he can *ile *or di3orce, see7 ali!on" and !aintenance. <ou ,ill lose "our 7ids 5 i* an", "our !arriage, social standing, !one" and other assets.

6.-! Child custody and visitation

I* "ou ha3e -een -lessed ,ith children, then -e read" to -e separated *ro! the!. Indian *a!il" courts are 3er" -iased and i* the child is "oung, in !ost o* the cases, custod" ,ill -e gi3en to !others. <ou ,ill si!pl" -e turned into a gi3er o* !onthl" che?ues ,ith s!all H'hitrahaarF t"pes ,ee7l" 3isitation rights. Ie!e!-er, there is nothing !ore e>citing in this ,orld, than ha3ing a child that is "ours, and nothing !ore tragic than ha3ing hi! *orced to -e a stranger to "ou.

age 15 o* 1$

A Warning For Indian Bachelors

6.,! 8pcoming gender9biased laws 6.,a! )alary to wife

Ahe 4nion &inistr" o* Wo!en and 'hild #e3elop!ent is currentl" dra*ting a ne, la, that ,ill !a7e it )andator$ *or a hus-and to pa" a de*inite a!ount *ro! his !onthl" inco!e to his ,i*e. According to this la,, it does not !atter ,hether she has a ;o- or not, ,hether "ou "oursel* help out ,ith household chores or not, or ,hether "ou spend la3ishl" on her an",a". <ou, as the hus-and ,ill -e re?uired to pa" her a Hsalar"F, -ut "ou ,ill not ha3e an" right to ;udge her per*or!ance.

6.,b!

IrB' :Irretrievable breakdown of marriage!

While ta7ing !arriage Npheras= "ou are -asicall" signing on a 50O trans*er deed o* all "our assets 6-ut not "our lia-ilities) to the girl. 1he can easil" *ile *or #i3orce under ne, IrB& and "ou ,ill not e3en ha3e right to oppose her case. Ahis ,ill -e a ne, gi*t *ro! the Indian go3ern!ent to all ,i3es. It does not !atter ho, long it too7 and ho, di**icult it ,as *or "ou to -uild those assets, it does not !atter ho, long "ou ha3e -een !arried, it does not !atter i* the assets ,ere -uilt -e*ore !arriage. What !atters is that i* she ,ants ,hat "ou ha3e, she ,ill get at least hal* o* it. Got onl" that, she can si!ilarl" continue to *ool other !en and snatch hal3es o* their assets as ,ell. As ,ith other gender5-iased Indian la,s, "ou, the hus-and, cannot de!and a single paisa *ro! her irrespecti3e o* her ,ealth. icture this: A*ter "ears o* hard ,or7, "ou -u" a nice and co!*orta-le house *or "our *a!il". <ou are pa"ing !onthl" install!ents to the -an7 *or ne>t 15 "ears to trul" o,n "our house. Go,, "ou get !arried to "our drea! girl and *or so!e reason, the 3er" ne>t ,ee7 she decides to ,al7 out o* the !arriage. Well, in doing so, she ,al7s out ,ith a legal right to 50O o* the total 3alue o* "our house. 0o,e3er, she ,ill ha3e 0O responsi-ilit" to,ards the -an7 pa"!ents that ,ill -e co!ing out o* D<58 poc7et *or the ne>t 15 "ears. Ahis ridiculous la, has not -een passed "et, -ut it 3er" ,ell !ight ha3e -" the ti!e "ou read this. Find out !ore at ,,,.roll-ac7ir-!.in Have a happy and safe married life.

age 1$ o* 1$