BAD RESUMES……THESE ITEMS WEREACTUALLY ON RESUMES
Objectives:
To acquire a creative development position within the entertainment industry that would utilize my vast (2years) technical experience.To find a gig.My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stockbrokerage.I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
Reasons for Leaving the Last Job:
Terminated after saying, "It would be a blessing to be fired."Responsibility makes me nervous.Being in trouble with the law, I moved quite frequently.In my last position, got nowhere as part of a 60-person herd.I did not give the company my full effort and received no chance of advancement in return.Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.My last employer insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under thoseconditions.Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.I was working for my mom until she decided to move.The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers.Maturity leave.
Job Responsibilities:
Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees' paychecks.Responsibilities included checking customers out.Creator / Writer: ihatemylife.us, Los Angeles, CAOverlooked all areas to ensure an overwhelming success.Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to atleast partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately
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Questions to avoid during an interview: 1) Do you ever press charges? 2) I won't fail my drug test if I have a prescription, right?
this resume was obviously a joke. way to make an ass out of yourself.
LOL, I can put a face to some of these statements.