Mama

’

s Boy and Other Dark Tales

Under the Dryer

tried to warn them, but the humans wouldn’t listenand the cats just taunted me.The faint paw prints in the dust were the first sign. Istarted sniffing out the cause and became alarmed at myfindings. The great mastiff, Old Sam, my sire’s brother,warned me about such things, but I never thought Iwould see them for myself. I stayed with Sam’s familywhenever my humans went away, and at night in thedark when the masters were asleep, he would whisperthe old secrets.“Nowadays it’s just considered dog lore, boy,” he saidin his deep, growling voice. “But believe you me, thesethings can still happen. And it’s the forgettin’ that gives‘em power. Promise me, boy, no matter what they tell ya’,you remember the truth. It’s your sacred duty.”I promised him, of course. And later I tried to tell myfriends at the park about my talks with Old Sam. Theylaughed at me and told me he was an old dog and thosewere just stupid stories. The Doberman twins teased meabout it so much one day that I lost my temper. One of them ended up at the vet – served him right. I gotbanned from the park.But I never forgot Old Sam’s stories, and as the dan-ger to my masters grew, I kept my word. He was longgone when the trouble started, but I knew I couldn’t letSam down – it was my duty.

NDERTHE

RYER

At first, the furry Long Tooths were confined to thespace beneath the bed in Ashley’s room – no chance of dis-covery by the humans amidst the teenager’s detritus. Ipaced outside her door, but the silly girl wouldn’t let me in.“Get away from my door, you stupid dog,” she said,followed by her favorite whine. “Mom! Goliath’s going tomess up my room.” As if I could make it any worse.One of the cats arrived and curled around Ashley’sankles. She sneered at me as she picked it up for a cud-dle. The cat grinned its smug grin as the girl carried heroff into the room, slamming the door in my face. The catwould live to regret her preferred status.

he unseen fiends seemed emboldened by my banish-ment, and their infestation spread down the hall. Theirnumbers were multiplying, as their kind was destined todo. As my concern escalated, my mistress caught me dig-ging and scratching under the boy’s bed – apparently Idamaged the finish on the hardwood floor. She gave me astern warning and sent me to the laundry room for punish-ment. It was there I discovered the nest – it was under thedryer. I heard their dusty voices and the sounds of hoppingbefore they detected my presence. At that moment, I de-cided—if need be, I would stand guard there for the rest of my days. I would not allow the evil to spread and harm myfamily. I had to stop the dust bunnies.Day after day and night after night I held vigil in thelaundry room. One of the cats stopped by, as usual, tomock my efforts.“You lummox,” she said as she passed by the doorwith her fluffy groomed tail held high.She circled back and lingered, rubbing against thedoorjamb.

Mama

’

s Boy and Other Dark Tales

“Goliath’s the big hero – guarding the dirty under-wear. Oh, I do feel ever so much safer now.” She walkedaway with a dismissive glance over her shoulder.“Loser!”

ventually the furry devils beneath the dryer becamerestless – I was thwarting their plans. If I nodded off foreven a moment, they darted out to pluck my whiskers orpoke me with sharp objects. I thought if I could only holdout long enough, perhaps they would tire of waiting andleave through the dryer vent; then my humans would besafe. But my masters worried that I wasn’t eating sothey brought dishes of kibble and water to my strong-hold. I tried to resist, but eventually they coaxed mefrom the laundry room to relieve myself, and the deter-mined little beasts started to plan their operationsaround my forced relief schedule. While I was gone, theyducked out to spill my water dish and prove to me theywere on the move and winning the war.Finally, I refused to leave my fortress. I had to protectmy family. They didn’t understand the danger they werefacing. Unable to hold my bladder any longer, I soiled thefloor. My master’s patience was already growing thinwith my laundry room vigil, but the soiling completelydestroyed my credibility.My master hurled threats of the pound as he draggedme from the laundry room. I strained and pulled at mycollar as he tore me away from the only safety I could en-sure the family. I whimpered as the voices giggled andchittered and chided me from under the dryer. My mas-ter forced me to the front door and threw me outside intothe yard.“Maybe a night alone in the cold will sort you out, Go-liath.”