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MESSAGE from Mrs Mary Christmas 2013

MESSAGE from Mrs Mary Christmas 2013

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Published by Pieter Uys
The Annual Christmas Message and Wish from Mrs Mary Christmas, CEO of Christmas Inc.
December 2013.
The Annual Christmas Message and Wish from Mrs Mary Christmas, CEO of Christmas Inc.
December 2013.

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Published by: Pieter Uys on Dec 09, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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December 2013
Dear Customers
Here in Lapland, we’re ready to roll! Remember, you may still place
orders until close of business on the 23
The Elves have surpassed themselves in the manufacture and procurement of those invasive gadgets that are transforming communications: Tablets, Capsules and Pads. You name it,
we’ve got it and at better prices. What’s more, our list of Apps stretches from here to
Timbuctoo. Many are available as free downloads from the Christmas Inc website. Merry or Ms Moneypenny as we affectionately call her, has been watching the figures and we are pleased to report that Christmas Inc is leading the global economic recovery with spectacular turnover and profits this year. Here I wish to emphasize that although Christmas Inc is a strictly capitalistic enterprise, we do have to operate in a flawed corporatist world. Except where special free trade agreements are in place, our prices are affected by the taxes and regulations of our
customers’ countri
es of residence. Thus in many instances we would have offered lower prices. Aforementioned taxes are really nothing but legalized extortion. Like you, we look forward to a more just world of truly free trade between individuals. Where possible, we levy a punitive charge on individual customers employed in the higher echelons of all governments. That is done only after rigorous investigation and incontrovertible evidence. We use the funds to expose, challenge, subvert and undermine the most noxious nests of the global parasite class, in particular the United Nations and its hydra agencies.
Our ever innovative, sensitive and artistic son Noel has wrapped Christmas Inc in a classy and elegant new seasonal outfit.
That’s it for
marketing. As a household name we still avoid product and corporate advertising. I solemnly pledge that for as long as I have life left in me, Christmas Inc will not disgrace itself by so-called
advertising which loudly proclaims to the world how “good” we are and how we “care” about the “
communities in which we operate.
We shan’t litter your psychic space by vacuous claims about how “green” we are
and how small our so-
called “carbon footprint.”
We prefer to be judged solely on our service and prices.

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