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A Survival Guide for Decent Folk

A Survival Guide for Decent Folk

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Published by gonzomarx
Here some advice from a UK police officer. He was an anonymous police blogger who won this years Orwell prize for blogs http://tinyurl.com/njygoz
but was later exposed by the Sunday Times as policeman of 17 years, working for Lancashire Constabulary. For the last 12 years or so he has been a detective. The blog was closed down by his superiors but 1 of his posts is a guide of dealing with the fuzz if you’re an innocent citizen, it's called: A Survival Guide for Decent Folk
Here some advice from a UK police officer. He was an anonymous police blogger who won this years Orwell prize for blogs http://tinyurl.com/njygoz
but was later exposed by the Sunday Times as policeman of 17 years, working for Lancashire Constabulary. For the last 12 years or so he has been a detective. The blog was closed down by his superiors but 1 of his posts is a guide of dealing with the fuzz if you’re an innocent citizen, it's called: A Survival Guide for Decent Folk

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Published by: gonzomarx on Aug 25, 2009
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01/31/2014

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(The Times, assisted by Mr Justice Eady, who seems to preside over thewhole mess that stands in the place of proper privacy law in England, hasunmasked the police blogger NightJack. NightJack had just won theOrwellPrizefor his blog. I am guessing that drew it to the attention of higherauthority, and such articulate dissent must be punished.It took just six weeks, including a court-case, to reveal his identity. The bloghas now been deleted, and the DC formerly known as NightJack has beendisciplined in some unspecified way. Apparently it is in the public interest tomaintain a disciplinary code under which police officers are not permittedto express their opinions. That is what Sir David Eady implied,
obiter 
, ingiving his judgement.But deleting from public knowledge what has once been on the web isdifficult. Here is a celebrated sample, NightJack's advice to the arrested,which readers may find both useful and enlightening (there is a situationalirony in the sideswipe at those who have learned how to use the forces of law and order to score points and extract revenge):
A Survival Guide for Decent Folk
Paul has posted a number of lengthy replies on the “Modest Proposal"thread. In these days of us increasingly having to deal with law abiding folkwho have fallen foul of the “entitled poor” and those who have learned howto use us to score points and exact revenge, I thought it would be a goodidea to give out a bit of general guidance for those law abiding types whofind themselves under suspicion or under arrest. It works for the bad guys somake it work for you.
Complain First 
 .
 
Always get your complaint in first, even if it is you who started it and youwho were in the wrong. If things have gone awry and you suspect the copsare going to be called, get your retaliation in first. Ring the cops right awayand allege for all you are worth. If you can work a racist or homophobicslant into it so much the better.
 Make a counter allegation.
Regardless of the facts, never let the other side be blameless. If they beatyou to the phone, ring anyway and make a counter allegation against them.Again racism or homophobia are your friends. If you are not from a visibleminority ethnic culture, may I suggest that that the phrase “You gaybastard” or similar is always useful. In extremis allege sexual assault. Itgives us something to bargain with when getting the other person to droptheir complaint on a quid-pro-quo basis. This is particularly good wherethere are no independent witnesses. When it boils down to one word againstanother and nobody is ‘fessing up, CPS run a mile and you, my friend, aredefinitely on a walk out.
 
Never explain to the Police.
If the Police arrive to lock you up, say nothing. You are a decent person andyou may think that reasoning with the Police will help. “If I can onlyexplain, they will realise it is all a horrible mistake and go away”. Wrong.We do want to talk to you on tape in an interview room but that comeslater. All you are doing by trying to explain is digging yourself further in. Wecall that stuff a significant statement and we love it. Decent folk can’t helpthemselves, they think that they can talk their way out. Wrong.
 Admit Nothing
To do anything more than lock you up for a few hours we need to prove acase. The easiest route to that is your admission. Without it, our case maybe a lot weaker, maybe not enough to charge you with. In any case, it isalways worth finding out exactly how damning the evidence is before youfall on your sword. So don’t do the decent and honourable thing and admitwhat you have done. Don’t even deny it or try to give your side of the story.Just say nothing. No confession and CPS are on the back foot already. Theyforsee a trial. They fear a trial. They are looking for any excuse to send youhome free.
Keep your mouth shut.
Say as little as possible to us. At the custody office desk a Sergeant will askyou some questions. It is safe to answer these. For the rest of the time, saynothing.
Claim Suicidal Thoughts.
A debatable one this. Claiming to be thinking about topping yourself hasseveral benefits. If you can keep it up, it might just bump up anycompensation payable later. On the other hand you may find yourself in apaper suit with someone watching your every move.
 Always always always have a solicitor.
Duh. No brainer this one. Unless you know 100% for sure that your mate thesolicitor does criminal law and is good at it, ask for the Duty Solicitor. Theycertainly do criminal law and they are good at it. Then listen to what thesolicitor says and do it. Their job is to get you off without the Cops or CPSlaying a glove on you if at all possible. It is what they get paid for. They arefree to you. There is no down side. Now decent folks think it makes themlook like they have something to hide if they ask for a solicitor. Irrelevant.Going into an interview without a solicitor is like taking a walk in Tottenhamwith a big gold Rolex. Bad things are very likely to happen to you. I wouldn’tdo it and I interview people for a living.

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