Do You Measure Up?

Perhaps Im biased. Maybe Im overreacting; or, it may be that an overwhelming majority of free American citizens have stiff rules and regulations when it comes to height differences in relationships. Im a 5'7" Puerto Rican man. My girlfriend is a 5'11" African American woman. Walking in public often feels like Perez Hilton and Joan Rivers are following youand they dont seem fond of your dress this evening. Children drop the Cookie Crisp to stare at us as we decide whether we want a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch or the Reese's Puffs. Do their parents stop them or explain that people come in all shapes and sizes? Not a chance; they're too busy staring right alongside the little critters. I was flabbergasted when I learned that a few inches thrown in the favor of my beautiful lady disqualified me from protecting her as a man. Lets be honest for a bit, there are advantages to being short. Finding medium shirts and 30" long jeans is never a difficult task. There arent any "short & skinny" stores, because that's what every store has, except the big & tall stores, naturally. I'm tall enough to ride any roller coaster, but I can still fit in cramped spaces relatively easily. The gift of small stature didn't stop any basketball player under 6'0" tall. Spud Webb's 5'7" and Nate Robinson stands at a skyscraping 5'9". By NBA standards, they're lima beans. Yet, both sultans of the slam have won dunk contests in their respective NBA careers.

Relationships like mine are not the NBA. So, why is it that if a woman is taller than the man shes with, it's an immediate attack on that man's masculinity? Professional boxer Miguel Cotto only measures up to 5'7". I consider him just as manly as Shaquille O'Neal. How could I possibly be four inches away from love? I get longer hugs from my Bambi. Oh yes, I call her Bambi. Her legs are twice the size of my torso. She's uncoordinated. Her legs tend to waddle, and she trips over her own feet more than the average adult. Her prance is elegant, teetering, and goofy. When we're together, it's almost as if the entire world doesn't exist-- almost. Unfortunately, I'm aware that being an interracial couple can cause issues when we venture out in public. I was prepared for that. I despise it, but I can't wage such a widespread war. The funny thing is, people have inquired more regarding our height difference than our race difference. From this side of the field, the grass is very green. What I wasn't prepared for, were the overheard conversations contemplating the mechanics of our sex life, or who's the "little spoon." I proudly share that I am sometimes the little spoon. I was ill-advised to the fact the people would openly point, hopelessly stare, and just straight up ask us if the height difference is weird. I wasn't ready for someone to infuriate me with a compliment that's more insulting than complementary. "Wow you are so comfortable with yourselves. I could never be taller than my man. 'Oh-em-gee'! Do you still wear heels?" I oddly have a little more respect for the vessels of ignorance that come right out and ask what's actually on their brains. At least they don't pretend like they're

looking at whatever is directly behind us. In almost every other instance, a congregation of morons is attempting to be slick and sneak peeks to gawk with their fellow Neanderthals. Each primordial group will commence their stare tactics numerous times in a couple quick minutes. Of course, the 'double-oh-dummies' usually prove to be less clandestine than an elephant playing hide-and-seek. When people assess others, sometimes it's beneficial to stop and think to oneself, Well they dont seem bothered, or to be bothering anybody. Who decreed that it is emasculating for a man to be shorter than his lady, and when? We met each other my very first day at college, and we've been captivated by each other since. If I cant reach the salt in the back of the cabinet, I dont have to break my neck balancing on a stool to find it. All I have to do is look at my lovely lady and ask her to grab it; the task never bothers her. She still asks me to open the jar of pickles. The only thing is, I need her help getting the jar from the top shelf. Her arms may be long enough to play keep away with me, but that doesnt mean I wouldnt let her dangle the key to my heart just above my head. I am no less suited to love my Bambi than someone 6'1". My inability to "touch rim" has no bearing on my lovemaking ability. If I walked through life with the filter that I must never ever even consider a woman taller than me, like most of us do, I would've never met my perfect match. As people, we should start to see the beauty in the challenge of stigmas in favor of true love.