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Eerie, Pennsylvania: WEIRD NAMES OF ACTUAL PENNSYLVANIATOWNS
In Pennsylvania, U.S.A, we like to come up with SOME REALLY ODD names for someof our towns. All of these are genuine Pennsylvania towns, although you might need areally good map to find some of them. Here are a just a few of my favorites. We've gotmany, many more!1. Okay, let's get the rube jokes out of the way and dispense with the story which has thetraveler seeking "Intercourse, PA" and getting lost and ending up in "Blueball, PA" andfinally getting some relief in "Bird-in-Hand, PA." That one's old--and there's just way toomany T-shirts already.2. ANALOMINK. I don't know why this one gives me the shivers but it does. I bet ferretowners were responsible for this in some devious fashion.3. BALLS MILLS. Rocky mountain oysters, anyone?4. BATH ADDITION. Sad when your state starts naming towns after homeimprovements.4. BRAINTRIM. Freddy Krueger's favorite town, no doubt.5. BREAKNECK. The first settlers must have learned a hard lesson here. What thatlesson was, we would probably do well not to ask.6. BROKENSTRAW. It must have been a very exciting piece of straw.7. BULGER. Heh heh.8. BUMPVILLE. Maybe this was founded in the roaring seventies and needs renamed.9. CHOCONUT. The town that sounds like an unwholesome breakfast cereal.10. CLIMAX. If we could only move this town to Lancaster County (home of Intercourse, Blueball and Bird-in-Hand) our Pennsylvanian lives would be complete.11. CLYDE NO. 3. Just weird. Supposedly these number ones are named after mines.Oddly enough, there is no CLYDE NO. 1 nor 2.12. CONGO. Imagine the excitement that must have reigned when the bad, bad MichaelCrichton film came out.13. COON HUNTER. Is surely embracing the 21st century.14. COPLAY. Might I suggest a honeymoon location for Chris and Gwyneth? They can
bring their own LD.15. FALCONCREST. Something tells me Jane Wyman never slept here.16. FITZ HENRY. There is half a good gay joke here, which I refuse to articulate.17. FOOT OF TEN. This sounds like a Grimm's fairy tale. Maybe someone was screwingup the rulers he was manufacturing?18. GUM STUMP. Oh yes.19. GRINGO. The only Pennsylvanian town populated exclusively by Mexicans whowant you to know how welcome you are here.20. HOSENSUCK. Is it a town, or an invitation?21. HOSPITAL. Of course you will sound silly asking the taxi to rush you to HOSPITALHOSPITAL. It's probably just a tent anyway.22. JAPAN. Other towns with the names of countries in PA include SCOTLAND andGERMANY. Imagine the poor Japanese immigrant who sought out this town for itscultural enlightenment. Macaroni is probably considered an "ethnic food" there.23. LABORATORY. Not sure I want to know what the locals are up to there.24. LAKE IN THE CLOUDS. They probably have some good drugs in this town.25. LEISURE LAND. I imagine a lot of green leisure suits in soft pastel colors and a lotof recliners facing t.v.s playing NICK AT NITE.26. LIBRARY. Everyone wears cat-eye glasses and speaks very quietly. But is wild in the bedroom.27. LIVE EASY. Sure. I bet the average wage there is 5.55/hr.28. LOG PILE. Sit and watch it settle.29. LOLETA. They can't spell there, but they can chase the young'uns.30. MARY D. Oh, Ms. Blige..almost. Mary D. must have been a hell of a lady, or maybe just a lady from hell who knew how to get her way.31. NED. Our first Southpark tribute. Appropriately enough, it's close to the WestVirginia border.32. GUMP. Nuff said.
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