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So I’ve been told that men have a reflex. It’s universal. They alldo it. No matter the girl – big or small, black or white – a man willfeel the need… no, the deep, instinctual pull… to ruminate overher behind as she passes. They can’t help it, so I hear. Even if their girlfriend is sitting across from them at dinner, they willnecessarily HAVE TO look a specimen up, and then down. Theydon’t stop to think that their glance is obvious to anyone (menare so smart really).Let’s ponder the reasons why a woman’s rear is of suchimportance to every run-of-the-mill fellow. Here are a fewreasons why that I’ve heard along the way.1) A woman’s butt reflects her personality. This is the sweet approach that is designed to lure you into hismaster plan. You are meant to sympathize, enjoy, and evenparticipate in his obsession with the backside. He says during asilly conversation, “You know, a woman’s butt is really just agateway into her entire lifestyle. You can tell everything about agirl from her booty.” So the participating members of theconversation laugh, and begin to think about girls they know andthese girls’ rear-ends. “Oh yeah!” one person will say, “Sally’s avegetarian and totally into eating right…. And her butt is soootiny! Your theory is genius!” And so it progresses, all fun andgames. Until he describes your best friends’ “ass personality” as“spunky.” It’s really all downhill from there.2) Well, so what? She’s hot! There’s not much to say about this excuse. The men who usethis one are obviously so oblivious to the implications of whatthey say and do that they aren’t worth our discussion. I will saythat this sort of ass-looker can be tamed. What he needs is aslap to the face.3) I’m sorry, but we honestly can’t help it. This is the “reflex” approach. There is absolutely no thoughtbehind this excuse. It’s vapid air. Many people like to interpretmen’s stupid behavior as a product of nature’s plan. In theclassic tradition, people will often say, “boys will be boys!”(chuckle, with a jug of Pabst in one hand) when writing off behaviors such as: cheating, flirting, drinking too much, fist-fighting over a parking space, and push-up contests. You are
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