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    Dad'll Do Nicely: A Father's Pregnancy
    Dad'll Do Nicely: A Father's Pregnancy
    Dad'll Do Nicely: A Father's Pregnancy
    Ebook102 pages1 hour

    Dad'll Do Nicely: A Father's Pregnancy

    By Stevie Roden

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    About this ebook

    Excited yet filled with trepidation? Bursting with enthusiasm yet anxious? Fear not, all you dads-to-be, you are not alone. It’s not just women who have a story to tell - men do too.
    Dad’ll Do Nicely: A Father’s Pregnancy are the experiences of one such man, award-winning journalist Stevie Roden, as he charts the rollercoaster nine-month journey through the eyes of a dad-in-waiting.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStevie Roden
    Release dateAug 2, 2010
    ISBN9780956528810
    Dad'll Do Nicely: A Father's Pregnancy
    Author

    Stevie Roden

    Stevie Roden has worked as a journalist at the Nottingham Evening Post since June 1999.After five years as a news reporter, he moved into the sports department.Stevie married Danielle on June 25th, 2005 and Gracie Layla, their first child, was born on Saturday January 23rd, 2010 at 00.01am.Born in July 1980, Stevie has lived his whole life in north Nottinghamshire, just outside Mansfield.Stevie was named Midlands Sports Journalist of the Year in both 2008 and 2009.Dad’ll Do Nicely: A Father’s Pregnancy is Stevie’s first book.

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      Book preview

      Dad'll Do Nicely - Stevie Roden

      Foreword

      My name is Stevie Roden and I feel like the happiest man on the planet right now. I have just become a dad for the first time.

      But it did not just start for me when our baby was born on January 23rd. No, it all began at some point nine months earlier when I finally got one of my ailing sperm to hit the jackpot.

      While the nine months that followed were an exciting, life-changing, challenging and frightening time for the mother-to-be, they were just as much so for me, the expectant father. You know the feeling, right?

      But blokes don’t do baby talk, do they? When it did not involve me, I was never too keen on heading down to the local to talk trimesters, buggies and baby names. No, I wanted beer, football, a few more beers and then I would see where that took me. It was usually onto the topic of women and more football.

      Things, though, suddenly changed. We all have the wife and family members to talk to, but it is almost a taboo subject among blokes.

      Haven’t you found those with kids, when they get together, will only offer you scare stories of sleep deprivation and the lack of sex that follows birth?

      In the lead up to the birth, Danielle came home from work every day having spoken with colleagues about the latest kick and what she had bought for the nursery, while I just had the conversations in my head.

      At work, it was never really mentioned. Apart from a couple of elder statesmen colleagues who would shake their heads at the two-week fully paid paternity leave I would get. We could debate that all day. Did you know they were expected back at their desk within hours? Well, welcome to the new world. I felt like rattling off a few texts during each day of my ‘free’ leave but one of the colleagues I’m talking about does not even have a mobile.

      It did not bother me at all, that was just the norm for us blokes. After all, in the local watering hole my own male bravado would stop me short of getting onto the subject of nappies and the price of baby wipes at the local supermarket. No, I’d discuss the fantastic four-day offer on three crates of beer for £20 at Asda, Cheryl Cole and why Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard don’t work together for England. Oh, and maybe more on Cheryl.

      But I was excited and as soon as I realised Danielle was pregnant, everything, and I mean everything, changed. It was no longer about me or Danielle, it was about our family.

      Many put the journey down as starting the day their newborn enters the world but for me, the minefield of fatherhood started way back when that test showed up positive.

      Like almost all fathers in waiting, that was probably the most exciting time of my life. But it was also the most daunting. It was even more daunting than trying to get back into the good books a few years earlier after the wife woke me to stop me mid-flow, wetting the bed and mattress to its very core. It was a good night out though.

      Now it will be another little Roden wetting the bed. Well, I hoped so. Otherwise I might be a single dad.

      The truth is if blokes talk about baby stuff in the pub, they are a big softie. Fact. Maybe even labeled gay, although that would not quite wash with the fact you are on the verge of becoming a father. But no doubt everyone who is about to become a father is bursting to talk about it….24 hours a day.

      As Danielle’s pregnancy progressed, I thought I would put my thoughts, feelings and experiences down in writing. Let’s face it, all that excitement and fear brings about plenty of abnormal thoughts and situations. That way I could share them because out there, it was – and still is – almost all reading material for women.

      That is strange, after all at least half a million men are going through this in any one year in the UK, with more than 700,000 babies born here each year. In the world, it is believed to be anything up to 130,000,000 babies being born in a calendar year. This year it could be even more. That is a lot of dads-to-be.

      The message, clearly, is that we do want to talk about it. It’s fun, amusing, scary, weird, pulsating and at times quite humbling. It’s just a man thing that we don’t always own up to it in front of certain others. I am sure my journey will ring many bells and muster up plenty of familiar stories.

      It will do the same for women too, as this is a chance to find out what really goes through a man’s head during those long nine months. Honestly, there is something flooding through there.

      It is a special time as each day you try and get your head around something you created getting nearer and nearer to entering this big, and at times, bad world. But it can be a great world and that is where the responsibility of what lies ahead in raising a child hits you.

      As for the ladies, you’re fine to go ahead and read. I promise I am no Neanderthal. As for you men, we can go through these nine months together.

      By sharing with me in this book, you will not be regarded a big wet lettuce by your mates. That is unless you are caught reading a copy of this in the pub.

      Wow, we’ve made a baby

      There it was, the magical cross. It was just like the St. George flag. Positive.

      I had imagined that moment for a long, long time. Would I break into a jig, cry, become overwhelmed? I did not burst into the dance I expected; instead there was a calming silence. A smile.

      As I dropped back down on my bed and gazed up at the ceiling, thankful we had finally cracked it, it hit me. Oh, bugger. The stark reality was about to strike Danielle's dad. I HAVE had sex with his daughter.

      Well, I would cross that bridge when the time arrived. But judging by the excitement on the wife's face, I gathered it would only be minutes away, not weeks.

      It was a surreal moment. After all, it had been 18 months in the making and when something does not happen overnight, you begin to worry. What could be wrong? This count, that test, thermometers, the whole shebang. I mean, the whole thing of the missus charting her temperature every morning, filling in a graph to find out when she was ovulating was all new to me.

      Danielle knew what she was doing, which is more than could be said for a friend of ours a few years ago who, put it this way, did not realise the thermometer was meant to be put in her mouth to find out that sort of thing. I still cannot get that image out of my head. You live and learn, as they say.

      In such situations, if you allow it, your whole life begins to revolve around trying for a baby and by that stage the fight to avoid that happening was becoming even tougher. I was on the ropes, or so it felt.

      But that had changed in an instant. Isn't it amazing how the missus peeing on a plastic stick can change your life in a split second?

      After a good half hour going back and forth to the bathroom to double check and triple check the reading, it began to sink in.

      I was going to be a daddy. Don't cry. I could feel the tears bubbling up inside. But there were a few other people we needed to tell, the journey through the minefield of pregnancy had started for Danielle on a physical level. For me, the preparation to try and be the best dad in the world was about to get underway.

      Some people choose not to tell anybody until 12 weeks but we had always planned on telling our parents when something finally happened. They had waited so long that they had probably started to write off the idea of any little Rodens running around.

      The time had finally arrived and we pulled up at Danielle's parents, only to find one vital ingredient missing. Her mum.

      There was no way we were going to announce the news without both of them being together so we waited, and waited, until she finally pulled up from her trip to the shops.

      All that time, her dad was blissfully unaware of the news that was going to be bestowed upon him, as he prepared a few sandwiches for lunch and talked through his latest project, a house renovation to rent. Don’t worry about your ideas for a second project, I remember thinking. He would have

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