What is the difference between Mother & Wife?

One woman brings you into

this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!!
just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create
a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always
Time for Me 2 disturb You
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid
of what they have created!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says.
Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her
garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to
pay her bills!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich
qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt
do us part?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes
darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's
1.5 ltr.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But
there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I
have to leave, I can't find a brain.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I
have to leave, I can't find a brain.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and
Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also
my son, thats Confidential.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students,
Wait for the Lecturers!".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote
back, "send me ur mother".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can
live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said
"Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the
tree....Plz try later."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then
devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime
was engaged.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my
heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete'
u from my memory!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious
matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just
like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light

dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like
you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the
right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more
than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk
SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The
World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think
of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why?
Coz u r a "Tubelight
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't
cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I
said, "dust!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert
the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
------------------------------------------------------------------------
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur
VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That
Is Your Friend-Ship
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be
destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other
guys take a number and wait in line!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they're irrational n can
bankrupt u if u're not careful.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you
------------------------------------------------------------------------
wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur
heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti
now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo,
They all miss u.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U
Lauf I Lauf, U Jump out of da window... I look down & den.. I lauf again
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can
feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wht's d similarity between a girl & petrol? 1. both r explosive 2. both
r hot 3. both r dangerous when kept in open
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eyes: To look at you Hands: To pray for you Mind: To care for u Heart:
To love you and Legs: To kick u if u forget me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant
passes by... What does the loafer elephant say? Wow... 3600-2400-3600
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Friend is like a GAS blown from the ASS, Which creates noice n
nuisance to others but gives Me RELAXATION and COMFORT. Thanks for being
the GAS of my ASS.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 5)*
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete
without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would
have preferred.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you,
It might spread!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my
mobile. How about your?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting
on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst
arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I,
Will, Marry, U
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al
thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb
u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people
r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you
could just pluck them from your dreams..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 6)*
A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally
writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed
it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got
a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so
many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART. If u
fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz
I'm SMART
------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint. I’m Paul
not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary,
not a VIRGIN.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house
screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r
beating our kids.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes
darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5
ltr.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer? A:- "All the
information you want, except you can't understand it."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A:) Because they are afraid of what
they have created!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you
have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and
will be used by us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to
want to shoot it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y
not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 7)*
I'm sorry that I'm running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck
on the escalator.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into
this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!!
just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create
a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always
Time for Me 2 disturb You
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid
of what they have created!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says.
Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her
garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to
pay her bills!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich
qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt
do us part?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes
darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's
1.5 ltr.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But
there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I
have to leave, I can't find a brain.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 8)*
Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and
Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also
my son, thats Confidential.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students,
Wait for the Lecturers!".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote
back, "send me ur mother".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can
live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said
"Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the
tree....Plz try later."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then
devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime
was engaged.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my
heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete'
u from my memory!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious
matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 9)*
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just
like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light

dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like
you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the
right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more
than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk
SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The
World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think
of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why?
Coz u r a "Tubelight
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't
cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I
said, "dust!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert
the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
------------------------------------------------------------------------
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur
VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes (Page # 10)*
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That
Is Your Friend-Ship
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be
destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other
guys take a number and wait in line!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they're irrational n can
bankrupt u if u're not careful.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you
------------------------------------------------------------------------
wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur
heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti
now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo,
They all miss u.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U
Lauf I Lauf, U Jump out of da window... I look down & den.. I lauf again
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can
feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wht's d similarity between a girl & petrol? 1. both r explosive 2. both
r hot 3. both r dangerous when kept in open
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eyes: To look at you Hands: To pray for you Mind: To care for u Heart:
To love you and Legs: To kick u if u forget me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant
passes by... What does the loafer elephant say? Wow... 3600-2400-3600
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
*SmS Jokes (Page # 11)*
A Friend is like a GAS blown from the ASS, Which creates noice n
nuisance to others but gives Me RELAXATION and COMFORT. Thanks for being
the GAS of my ASS.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete
without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would
have preferred.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you,
It might spread!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my
mobile. How about your?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting
on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst
arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I,
Will, Marry, U
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al
thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb
u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people
r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you
could just pluck them from your dreams..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Free SMS Jokes*
U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with
U in my bed. I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U
NESCAFE!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in ur
love, & I don't want my son to do the same 4 your daughter, So lets make
them brother & sister.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Court Order !! U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox & Hijacking My
Smile with your cute massages. U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the similarity between CIRCUS and a BEAUTIFUL GIRL'S HEART? Both
have space for 1 more clown...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive,
Terrific, Cute, Fabulous.... I Stare, I smile, And, when I get
tired..... I put down the mirror !
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It
brings fears... So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could
CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True
Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy
by the time she gets ready no other place is open!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I
don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Online SMS Jokes*
Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta
Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him
Stupid in 2 minutes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their
Wedding !!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A:
Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life Paradox what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't
njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is
permanent is boring (wife)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me I just can't stop my hands
shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I
breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't u use a mouth wash?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ,
knowledge, way of expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u
coz u manage 2 live without them!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Jokes*
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is
using it."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?"
"Neither, just a plain simple ass."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog
how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go
out network follows
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al
thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie
tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1%
Advice....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to
arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I
dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says
to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*SmS Text Jokes*
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me
and we'll be the happiest couple
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY
MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password
first.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of
course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell
did I propose?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near boy's schools, but n ot near
girl's college.. Why? COZ vehicles automatically go slow....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student:
Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.
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Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food
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hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so
she will meet u soon.... her name is smile.... i think she came.
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2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u.
U know whose?? YOUR OWN
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Heartbeats are countless .... Spirits are ageless .... Dreams are
endless..... Memories are timeless.... A friend like you .......
Shameless!!!
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*SmS Humor*
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you
have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and
will be used by us.
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They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!
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Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to
want to shoot it.
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Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y
not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
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Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!
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Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur
Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me... well
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I'm sorry that I'm running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck
on the escalator.
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What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into
this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
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U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
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Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
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*SMS Joke Hi Joke*
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my
heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete'
u from my memory!
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sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious
matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
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Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I
will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
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r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you
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What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
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Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just
like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
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SMS Jokes Humor*
I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light
dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"
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What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
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Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like
you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
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Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the
right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
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We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more
than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
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I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk
SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
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Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The
World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
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When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think
of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
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My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why?
Coz u r a "Tubelight
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Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't
cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
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*SMS Humor Jokes*
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I
said, "dust!"
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The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert
the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
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Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
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so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur
VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
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Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That
Is Your Friend-Ship
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Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be
destroyed, only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
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I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other
guys take a number and wait in line!!
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What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so
dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
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Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they're irrational n can
bankrupt u if u're not careful.
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r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you
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*SMS Jokes Comedy*
wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur
heart, plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
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Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti
now ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.
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Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo,
They all miss u.
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I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U Lauf
I Lauf, U Jump out of da window... I look down & den.. I lauf again
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Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can
feel its true Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..
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Wht's d similarity between a girl & petrol? 1. both r explosive 2. both
r hot 3. both r dangerous when kept in open
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Eyes: To look at you Hands: To pray for you Mind: To care for u Heart:
To love you and Legs: To kick u if u forget me.
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The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!
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A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant
passes by... What does the loafer elephant say? Wow... 3600-2400-3600
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What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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*SMS Humor Comedy*
A Friend is like a GAS blown from the ASS, Which creates noice n
nuisance to others but gives Me RELAXATION and COMFORT. Thanks for being
the GAS of my ASS.
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Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete
without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would
have preferred.
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Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you,
It might spread!!
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Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my
mobile. How about your?
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What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting
on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
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Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst
arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I,
Will, Marry, U
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Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al
thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
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Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
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Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb
u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
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*SMS Jokes Humor Comedy*
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people
r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
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Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
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Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick!
Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
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Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you
could just pluck them from your dreams..
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Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
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Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
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Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is
aiming just a little too high.
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For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
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How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
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What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
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*SMS Text Humor*
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
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Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
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Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
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As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
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What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the
parachute packing plant.
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Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any. 1
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Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women.
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Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and
suffering.
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Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth
child born is chinese.
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I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience
and didn't come back for a day and a half.
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*SMS Jokes For Mobile Phones*
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
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Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
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Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
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How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 1
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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth
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What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the
parachute packing plant
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God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
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News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt
message.
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*SMS Jokes For Cell Phones*
My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
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Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
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I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over
you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than
you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
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Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft
before the final copy.
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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog,
idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without
the word dog.
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Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
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*SMS Laughing Jokes*
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI
awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this.
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A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The
bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
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What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
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Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber
field.
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What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
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I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
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How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car
boot shut.
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Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
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Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24
inch was a TV.
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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity
of your action.
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*SMS Free Humor*
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a
positive side!
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Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to
drive this thing?"
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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
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All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the
love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
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We will now upgrade your brain, please
wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN
found...!
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