The Dog Whisperer, The Lost Episodes
Almost since National Geographic began exploring the nearly-fascinating limits of extreme dog behavior on their wildly popular program The Dog Whisperer, fanshave exchanged rumors of the so-called ‘lost episodes’, juicier-than-averageinstallments of the series that were simply too daring or transgressive for eventhe National Geographic Channel, home of Locked Up Abroad: The LesbianYears. Some even hinted that the episodes were not actually ‘lost’, but sealed ina titanium capsule and buried deep in the Marianas Trench by a Nat Geo-trainedsubmersible team. However, meticulous research of the channel’s archives,along with a daring late-night raid of Cesar Milan’s Pacific Palisades compound,has yielded rare glimpses into these heretofore unseen programs. Read ‘em andsalivate.
Episode 82-20A, Operation Desert Dog:
In the hills of Waziristan, a group of resilient Afghan Hound extremists are terrorizing villages of peaceful poodles andYorskhire terriers with a range of insidious Improvised Edible Doggy Treats(IEDTs). Their ultimate goal: to impose Sharia discipline on progressive-thinkingdachsunds attending the first female dog behavior school in the country. Cesar Milan intervenes in the conflict using his unique knack for soothing the Afghanswith gentle smooching sounds and promises of extensive infrastructureredevelopment funds. His tense, cave-side meeting with dreaded warhoundMasoum Ali-Abari (known as Wetnose Ali) is a remarkable demonstration of thestrategic use of the “sit” command and rawhide toys during battlefieldnegotiations.
Favorite fan moment
: Watch for the emotional scene when Cesar teaches anilliterate female dachshund pup to vote with her paw.
Epsiode 47-3BC, Burn, Doggy, Burn:
Milly, a timid, but loveable, AmericanWater Spaniel, is in recovery from a psychologically damaging ordeal involvingher owner Trish Horgan, who has a persistent sleepwalking habit, a pyromaniac,ADD-afflicted son and a portly husband overly fond of late-night barbeques. After eight years of life with the Horgans, Milly has developed a fear of fire, a markedaversion to zombie films and an unhealthy obsession with walking on hotcharcoal while devouring pork loins. Fighting fire with fire, Cesar teaches Millyhow to subdue her fears by learning to manage flames: performing simple matchtricks, balancing an illuminated tiki torch on her nose and setting controlled burnsin the chaparral behind the Horgan property.
Favorite fan moment:
An over-exuberant Milly swallows a flaming sword andthen flourishes it, singeing Cesar’s eyebrows off. Cesar’s priceless (andbrowless) facial reaction has become a YouTube classic!