LETTER
Bar Owner Apologizes For Remarks
After several months of pressure
from the Fairness Campaign and
the community-at-large, Louisville
bar owner David Norton publicly
apologized on Saturday, August 15 for
racist and sexist remarks he uttered
during a heated exchange last year at
Woody’s, a gay bar he operates in Old
Louisville.
“I would like to apologize for any
action and/or verbiage that I used
on April 22, 2008,” Norton told
several dozen Fairness supporters
in a prepared statement in the bar’s
parking lot. “I do understand and
admit that things should have been
handled differently and hope that
this can be a learning experience for
others as it has been for me.” He later
told WHAS-TV that what came out of
his mouth was “filth.”
The controversy began in the spring
of 2008 when Dr. Kaila Story, an
assistant professor for women’s and
gender studies at the University of
Louisville and an African-American,
went to Woody’s with friends to
play pool. As she later told LEO, a
Louisville alternative publication,
Norton came in with two barking
dogs. Frightened, she jumped on
a pool table, angering Norton. An
argument ensued during which
Norton used racial and sexist epithets.
Story and her friends eventually fled
the bar but Norton continued yelling
at them in the street.
For over a year, Norton denied the
incident even took place and the local
activist community did little. But the
VOLUME 20, ISSUE 9 •SEPTEMBER 2009
by David Williams
controversy resurfaced last spring.
In late 2008, local activists came
to the defense of a gay white couple
who were accosted with homophobic
slurs by a McDonald’s employee.
The American Civil Liberties Union
of Kentucky became involved and the
issue was eventually resolved.
That unnerved Brian Buford, director
of the Office for LGBT Services at the
University of Louisville and a friend
of Dr. Story, who wondered why no
similar campaign had been launched
on her behalf. On the first anniversary
of the incident he wrote a letter to
Norton. Newly-appointed Fairness
director Chris Hartman, also puzzled
by the lack of action, posted Buford’s
letter on the group’s Facebook page,
prompting a letter writing campaign.
The controversy briefly boiled over
in heated private e-mail exchanges
among this reporter, Hartman, and
others over the actual nature of
the incident and how it could be
resolved, but mounting pressure
finally convinced Norton to issue his
apology.
“I believe the [Fairness] Campaign
and community was more vocal
about this incident than ever…
before,” Hartman told THE LETTER
afterward in an e-mail, “and people
paid attention—including Norton.”
“For me, this incident brought up
memories of all the times I've been
harassed, intimidated, or left out
because of my identity as a gay man,”
Buford tells THE LETTER. He feels
it particularly painful because the
incident occurred at a gay bar.
Norton is upbeat now. “I would
like to move forward with a positive
attitude and a positive feeling from
this day forward,” he said in his
statement.
Dr. Story is also positive. “Our
community is not removed from the
social milieu of society,” she emailed
The Letter, “but as members of this
wondrous but oppressed community,
we should always keep in mind
that the same way we are denied
civil liberties and rights, we should
always seek to provide safe spaces Dr. Kaila Story, an assistant professor
for members of our community
for women’s and gender studies at the
regardless of race and gender.”
University of Louisville
Woody’s is located at 208 East
Burnett between Brook and Floyd in
Old Louisville. Established in 1928, holding several events throughout the
it’s one of the oldest, continuously year to engage students in meaningful
operated taverns in the city but has discussions about race. For more
been a GLBT bar for only four years. information, contact Brian Buford at
the Office for LGBT Services at (502)
Anti-Racism Initiatives Inaugurated 852-0696 or brian.buford@louisville.
As a result of the incident at edu.
Woody’s, local activists are launching
two new initiatives to counter racism African-American Student Group
within the GLBT community and the Forms
community at large. A new student group, BlkOut, has
This month, the Fairness Campaign been formed to provide support for
will launch a series of forums called African-American LGBT students
“Dismantling Racism” to be held the at the University of Louisville,
first Wednesday of each month at particularly those in the process of
6:00 PM at its offices, 2263 Frankfort coming out. For more information,
Avenue, in Louisville. For more contact Brian Buford at the Office for
information, call (502) 893-0788 or go LGBT Services at (502) 852-0696 or
to fairness@fairness.org. brian.buford@louisville.edu.
At the University of Louisville,
the Office for LGBT Services will be
2 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009

Lesbian Couple Booted From Memphis
Church Service
A lesbian couple is considering
filing assault charges against certain
members of a mayoral candidate’s
Memphis church claiming they were
forcefully and unjustly removed from
Sunday service.
As a result of the incident, the
Tennessee Equality Project is
questioning the pastor’s stance on
GLBT civil rights and how it could
impact his candidacy for mayor.
Yas Meen and Monique Stevens told
the Tennessee Equality Project's (TEP)
Jonathan Cole that a group of about 25
men surrounded them inside the New
Olivet Baptist Church in Memphis on
Sunday, August 22, and physically
forced them out of the building while
calling them “bitches”, “Satanic” and
“devil worshipers,” Cole wrote in the
Grand Divisions blog.
Meen, a retired school teacher, and
Stevens visited the church that day for
the first time in order to learn more
about the Rev. Kenneth Whalum, Jr.
who is running for Memphis mayor
and serves on the Memphis City
School’s Board of Education. Meen
had considered supporting Whalum’s
candidacy in the October 15 election.
Whalum said the women were
removed for being disruptive, not
for being lesbians — but they tell a
different story.
The women told Cole they arrived
after the church service began and sat
on the front row. Soon, they began
to notice looks of disapproval from
members of the congregation.
During the service, Whalum asked
the congregation to participate in
expressions of “sanctified dance” at
which point people began to pray
while dancing or lying on the floor.
Unfamiliar with the style of worship,
the couple remained in their seat.
“From the front of the church, the
two women alleged that Whalum said
‘this is my house and everybody does
what I say. But two people won’t do
what I say,’” the TEP blog states.
The women remained seated and
Stevens extended her arm on the pew
behind Meen.
“[A] security guard asked us to
leave because we were disturbing
God’s House,” Meen told TEP. “I
asked what had we done to disturb
God's House. He could not give me
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
some attention: contin
The law prohibits "acts of gross indecency" (generally interpreted as mob a
any kind of physical intimacy) between men, in public or in private, and p
which are punishable by 10 years in prison. did n
J-FL
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to leave. He informed us that he had men,
called the police.” dead.
Not understanding what they had orien
done wrong, Meen told the guard case b
that they would stay and wait for the year's
police to arrive. She said that’s when a The
group of men gathered around them Lenfo
to force them out of the church as a was s
church photographer snapped photos Mal
despite the couple’s requests for her to held
stop. deter
“We begged them to stop taking by th
pictures of us,” Meen said. “She homo
continued and when she finished, violen
she blew us a kiss and said ‘God bless by ot
you!’” system
The women claim they were taunted Hom
by children and had oil thrown on them becau
by female congregants. Stevens said to sex
her glasses were broken in the scuffle and g
and that they both received scratches Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays
prima
and bruises from the altercation. Coming out? Don’t face it alone! No
Meen said the security guard could PFLAG is for more than just for parents, Hum
not provide a reason for their ejection
families and friends. We’re also here for you! this g
from the church until police arrived
reduc
nearly an hour later in response to a
911 hang-up call.
SUPPORT EDUCATION ADVOCACY in des
“That’s when he told us, along facilit
with the police, that it was because
We meet the Third Sunday of the month at 3:00pm at work
Monique had extended her arm along First Lutheran Church, 417 East Broadway. Lon
the back of the pew seat right next to Use the west entrance closest to the alley. medi
[me],” she told TEP. Questions? Leave a confidential message and CNN
Whalum, however, told the one of our members will return your call. by Th
Commercial Appeal that the women Chica
were “being disruptive, boisterous
(502) 329-0229. visit M
and speaking loud. They had to have
some kind of agenda to come in church 10 The LeTTer www.TheLeTTeronLine.c
like that.”
“If I put every lesbian out of church,
Affordable Advertising
we’d be putting people out of church
all day long,” Whalum said. THE LETTER is the most affordable option for
Cole, who serves as TEP Shelby
County Committee Chair and TEP reaching the LGBT community and our allies
Board Secretary, said that the incident
might warrant investigation as a hate
throughout the six state region we serve. This
crime if the women decide to pursue size ad (1/6 page) costs just $65.00 per month,
a case against the people who got
physical with them. pre-paid. Pre-pay for three months and the
“As this violent crime unfolded,
Pastor Whalum said nothing and did
cost is only $59.50 per month. Business Card
nothing to intervene,” Cole wrote in size ads start at $35.00 per month. These rates
the blog. “As someone who wants to
be the next mayor of Memphis, Pastor require pre-payment.
Whalum has some explaining to do.”
THE LETTER now accepts VISA and
[Article reprinted with permission,
Out & About Newspaper. Copyright
MasterCard payments through PayPal.
2009. All rights reserved.]
3
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THE LETTER SALUTES…
This month THE found this to be true during the course of his battle
LETTER salutes Rob with cancer just over one year ago. It changed his
Anderson, a talented view of each breath he is blessed to take. The 30 year-
graphic designer and old resident of the Old Louisville neighborhood states,
inspirational cancer “I am convinced that we do no do enough for those
survivor. We salute around us. I have looked at this as my second chance…
him for many reasons, my chance to turn an obstacle into an opportunity.”
including his volunteer Though his business, Dawning-Flame Creations, he
service on behalf of currently involves himself in the promotion of causes
various community affecting our community ranging from the Louisville
organizations. AIDS Walk to The Calloway House in Virginia (an
Rob graciously organization caring for those who are at the end of
volunteered to create their fight with HIV/AIDS).
newspaper ads for the Rob continues, “We are not remembered by what
Rob Anderson 2009 Louisville AIDS we did not accomplish in life, but by the lives we
Walk. His latest ad for effect with our vigor for living. What value do we
the areas largest HIV/AIDS fund raiser can be found bring to world if we only live for self-promotion and
on page 24 of this month’s issue. indulgence? When we learn to value the lives around
“Life is a fragile, an opportune event which many us and work to make the quality of life better for our
of us take for granted. Each day is a chance to enrich fellow man, we will find that life comes full circle. You
the lives of those around you” noted Anderson. He truly get what you give!”
Indiana: Inclusive Civil Rights Ordinance Fails On Second Reading
The Goshen, Indiana City Council place that protects people from many groups, including Goshen’s
voted earlier this month against discrimination. “The communities Community Relations Commission;
changing its civil rights ordinance which are thriving and growing a group of 17 city pastors from
to prohibit discrimination based are those that are welcoming to Lutheran, Mennonite, Brethren
on sexual orientation or gender minorities and various sexual and Presbyterian churches, and
identity after hearing six hours orientations and women,” said Goshen residents, businesspeople,
of debate. Two weeks earlier, the Gina Liechty. educators and healthcare workers,
same council approved the same Some Christians said they didn’t many of whom spoke at the
ordinance by a margin of 4-3. want to support sin. meeting.
Nearly 150 people spoke to the “By its very nature, homosexual Indianapolis and Bloomington
council about the proposal before actions are intrinsically evil,” are the only two Indiana cities
members voted 4-3 against it. One said Goshen resident Robert that currently include both sexual
of the plan's sponsors voted against Roeder. “This is not to say that all orientation and gender identity in
it, saying he became worried that homosexuals are evil. We all suffer their Civil Rights Ordinances. Four
the proposal would subject the temptation.” other Indiana cities and one county
northern Indiana city to a lawsuit. The proposal’s other sponsor, include sexual orientation in their
“I don't want Goshen to have to Jeremy Stutsman, indicated that he laws. The past three governors,
go through that,” said Councilman will bring the ordinance back for including Governor Mitch Daniels
Chic Lantz. discussion at a later date. (R), have issued executive orders
Some who supported the proposal The inclusive ordinance had extending similar protection to the
said Goshen should be an open received a wide support from Indiana’s 35,000 state employees.

OCTOBER 2009 DEADLINES

Press releases and Regional
Calendar items must be received
no later than
Monday, September 14, 2009.
Advertising reservations must be
received no later than
Monday, September 21, 2009.
All items should be sent to
editor@theletteronline.com.
Pride Week Celebration Scheduled For University of Louisville
Later this month the University
of Louisville will be the site
of a week long series of Pride
events, including an appearance a
nationally renowned figure in the
transgender movement.
The celebration will kick off at
11:30am on Monday, September 21
with a Pride Cookout on the west
lawn of the Red Barn on the Belknap
Campus. Vendors, free pride shirts,
and more will be offered.
On Tuesday, September 22, a
production of Pouring Tea: Black
Gay Men of the South Tell Their
Tales will be offered at 7:00pm at
the Thrust Theatre.
Among the other events will
take place for the rest of the week,
Calpernia Addams, a nationally
recognized transgender activist
from Nashville, will take place in
the Humanities Building, Room
100, at 7:00pm on Thursday. Miss
Addams will be honored by an
after-hours party organized by
Sienna at a downtown bar later that
evening.
For more information about U of
L’s Pride Week festivities visit to
www.Louisville.edu/lgbt.

4 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009

 RegionalCalendar INCLUSIVE
sponsored by Mark England FAITH
Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-profit community
organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and
COMMUNITIES
professionals currently advertising in THE LETTER.
Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol: Central Presbyterian Church
Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love
editor@TheLetterOnline.com. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your message! 4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville)
(502) 587-6935
3rd Sundays September 11 - 13 Church School: 9:30am
3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family & Underwear Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Greenville, Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided)
Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran Church, TN. For more information visit www.timberfell.com. For Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert
417 East Broadway. For more information call (502) 329- reservations call (800) 437-0118. www.CentralChurchKY.org
0229 or write pflagmom10@yahoo.com. Confidentiality
respected. Wednesdays: September 16 & October 21 Church of the Advent (Episcopal)
6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confidential discussion group. No matter who you are, or where you are on your
Every Monday For more information, including the meeting location, spiritual journey, you are welcome at Advent.
7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community write: indybiversity@yahoo.com. 901 Baxter Avenue, Louisville (40204)
Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free. For (Intersection of Cherokee, Baxter and
movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT Calendar page Saturdays: September 19 & October 17 Broadway)
at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com. 8:00pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender support Sundays: 8:00am & 10:30am
group in Louisville. For location leave a message: (502) Thursday Contemplative Prayer: 7:00pm
Every Monday 894-1048. For general information about the group visit www.advent.episcopalky.org
7:00pm. Dayton Gay Men’s Chorus practice at Eternal Joy www.tg-sienna.org. (502) 451-6066
Metropolitan Community Church, 2382 Kennedy Avenue.
For more information write DtnGayMensChorus@aol. September 25 - 27 City of Refuge Worship Center
com. Pool Closing Party Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Come Worship Freely Our Lord and Savior Jesus
Every Tuesday Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. Christ
2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group at timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. 1041 Goss Avenue, Suite 101,
The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati. Louisville (40217)
October 2 - 4 (502) 762-8986 / (502) 495-2603
(513) 241-1411. Man Hunt & Hook-Up Weekend at Timberfell Lodge, Rev. Randy Meadows, Pastor
6:00 - 8:00pm. Louisville Fairness Campaign Volunteer Greenville, TN. For more information visit www. Sunday Bible Study: 9::30am
Meet-Up at 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For more timberfell.com. For reservations call (800) 437-0118. Sunday Worship: 11:00am & 7:00pm
information call Kyle (502) 893-0788 or write fairness@ Wednesday Worship: 7:00pm
Wednesdays: October 7 & November 4
fairness.org. www.cityofrefugewc.org.
7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group,
6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae Kwon Do Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850. First Unitarian Church
training for GLBT community. Beginners & experienced Where Reason & Religion Meet
welcome. For location write: m_fearnow@yahoo.com. Mondays: October 12, 19 & 26
4th & York Streets, Louisville
7:15pm. Dave VanderPol facilitates a Single Lesbian's (502) 585-5110
7:30pm. Women’s Tuesday Night Coming Out Group at Book Study & Journaling Group. Featured book:Finding Sunday Celebration of Life: 10:55am
Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati. The Boyfriend Within by Brad Gooch. Location in Wednesday Chalice Night: 5:30pm
(513) 535-2517. Louisville’s Highlands neighborhood. Registration: $5.00, www.firstulou.org
Every Thursday to be pre-paid through PayPal. For group guidelines,
6:30pm. Support group for all persons coping with all exact location and other information write: editor@ Metropolitan Community Church
sorts of struggles. City of Refuge Worship Center, 1041 TheLetterOnline.com.
of Louisville
Goss Avenue, Suite 100, Louisville. Handicap accessible Tuesdays: October 13 & November 10 A Christian Church Where ALL People Are
from back of building. 7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667 Welcome at the Table
Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more 1432 Highland Avenue, Louisville
1st & 3rd Thursdays (502) 587-6225
7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at Metropolitan information call (937) 640-3333.
Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor
Community Church of Louisville, 1432 Highland Avenue.
Tuesdays: October 13 & November 10 Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am
Every 3rd Friday 7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm
Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road. For www.mcclouisville.org
7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s Coffee
Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in Louisville. more information call (513) 721-7900.
Music and readings, organized by Marie Davis, cartoonist Progressive Pathways Fellowship
for THE LETTER. Saturday, November 14 What Path Calls You?
7:00 – 11:00pm. Out & About Gala, a fundraiser for Mellwood Arts & Entertainment
Kentucky Fairness Alliance. Center / #208 1/2
SAVE THE DATE: State Theater, 209 West 1860 Mellwood Avenue, Louisville (40206)
Dixie Highway, Elizabethtown. Sunday Worship & Education: 5:30pm
Saturday October 31 Wednesday Book Chat: 6:15pm
Tickets are $50.00. For more
Bluegrass Classic Bowling Tournament sponsors information or to purchase www.progressivepathways.org
their annual Halloween Cruise on the Belle of tickets online visit www.
Louisville. Ticket information and other kentuckyfairness.org.
details on page 2. Inclusive Faith Communities listings
are welcome from congregations

Mark England
throughout the six state region served
www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com by THE LETTER. Pre-paid listings
cost $80.00 for six months or $140.00
Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods for one year. For more information
write editor@theletteronline.com.

SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 5

 Soulforce Q Seeks Young Adult Applicants
for 2010 Equality Ride
March 2010, young adults from
around the country and around the
world will embark on the fourth
annual Equality Ride, a youth bus
tour visiting religious colleges
and universities across the United
States to challenge on-campus
discrimination against GLBT
students. Guided by the principles
of nonviolence, Equality Riders
will engage in critical dialogue,
direct action, and in some cases
civil disobedience, to press for
much-needed changes for GLBT
students.
“The Equality Ride is an
opportunity for young adults to
come together in the struggle for
social justice,” says Asher Kolieboi,
co-director of the Equality Ride.
“It’s a way for both [GLBT]
folks and straight allies to work
together to address religious-based
oppression and create safe spaces
for queer youth on campuses across
the country.”
For two months Riders will stop
at a variety of religious colleges and
universities to meet with campus
administrators and students, and
engage local communities on a
range of issues from the relationship
between faith and sexuality to the
Concert Will Raise Money For Fairness
Campaign
The musical talent of Shaun Popp
and Ron Hampton will be featured
during a concert on Saturday,
September 19 at Metropolitan
Community Church of Louisville,
1432 Highland Avenue. The concert
begins at 8:00pm. An offering will
be taken for the Fairness Campaign
in honor of the 10th anniversary
of passage of the local Fairness
ordinance.
The musical evening will
include classical, jazz, pop, and
contemporary selections with
Shaun on the saxaphone and Ron on
the piano, as well as performances
by other artists.
6 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
intersections of race and gender.
“Like past Equality Rides, we
hope to open dialogue on campus
about issues affecting [GLBT]
youth,” says Caitlin MacIntyre,
Director of the Equality Ride.
“But we’re also looking to build
relationships between campus and
the surrounding community to
keep that conversation alive.”
Inspired by the Freedom Rides
of the Civil Rights Movement in
the 1960s, the Equality Ride began
in 2006 to address the over 200
U.S. colleges and universities with
explicit policies that discriminate
against GLBT students. Developed
by Soulforce Q, the youth-driven
arm of the national GLBT social
justice organization Soulforce, the
Equality Ride has stopped at nearly
seventy academic communities
since its inception, leading vigils,
classroom presentations, worship
services, and an assortment of
direct actions to draw attention
to the dangers of religion-based
discrimination.
Soulforce Q is now seeking
applications for the upcoming ride.
For information on how to apply,
visit: www.equalityride.com.
Louisville’s Fairness Campaign
is currently working with other
equality groups around the
Commonwealth to pass non-
discrimination legislation state-
wide.
Pandora Productions Announces 2009 -
2010 Season
Pandora Productions’ has
announced that their 2009 - 2010
theatrical season will include five
productions.
The new season kicks off in a
wonderfully wild and raucous way
on Thursday evening, September
24, with The Rocky Horror Show.
Rocky Horror is the madcap story
of an ordinary couple and one
unforgettable night at the castle of
Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a mad scientist
from the planet Transexual.
Performances will continue through
Sunday, October 4.
The Kathy & Mo Show - Parallel
Lives is the acclaimed comedy by
Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney
that debuted off Broadway and
later became a wildly popular HBO
special of the same name. Kicking
off on Thursday evening, November
5, this hilarious production is a
montage of scenes featuring a wide
variety of characters, encompassing
all ages, genders, and backgrounds,
all portrayed in a hilariously
insightful commentary on everyday
life.
On Thursday evening, January
7, Pandora will offer the regional
premier of a sassy, satirical spin on
Lutheran Group Celebrates Passage Of
Sexuality Document
Last month pro-equality members
of the Evangelical Lutheran Church
in America celebrated the passage
of a statement on Human Sexuality
entitled, “Human Sexuality: Gift and
Trust”. The document was one of
many items on the agenda at the
denomination’s biennial assembly
that took place in Minneapolis,
Minnesota.
Emily Eastwood, Executive
Director, Lutherans Concerned/
North America, said, "This is a
day of progress and compromise.
By a 2/3 majority the church has
supported families of all kinds
and has acknowledged without
judgment the wide variety of views
within the ELCA regarding lesbian,
gay, bisexual and transgender
inclusion. The document recognizes
the ministries of congregations
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
the classic tale of Cinderella. This
brash and bawdy theatre event
is all about Albert, a love-struck
gay teen in San Francisco with a
haughty, homophobic Stepmother,
two odious stepsisters, and a drag-
loving Godmother.
As Bees In Honey Drown, a satirical
comedy about the pitfalls of the
unquenchable hunger for fame,
debuts on Thursday evening,
March 11.
Who will be chosen as Miss
Glamoresse? Miss Bible Belt; Miss
Industrial Northwest; Miss West
Coast; Miss Industrial Northeast;
Miss Great Plains; or Miss Texas?
Find out as Pandora presents
Pageant: The Musical, premiering
Thursday, May 6.
All productions are presented at
the Henry Clay Bunbury Theatre,
604 South Third Street, 3rd Floor,
in downtown Louisville. Running
time for each show is approximately
2 hours with intermission. Evening
performances begin at 7:30pm, all
matinees start at 2:00pm.
For ticket information visit www.
PandoraProds.org or call (502) 216-
5502.
which conduct blessings of same
gender relationships and same
gender marriages where such
marriages are legal.” She went on to
state that the “statement is tolerant
of our differences both in scriptural
interpretation and practice. The
social statement supports our unity
without requiring uniformity.
There is still much work to do, but
the door to full inclusion of LGBT
members and their families is now
most definitely open.”
The statement, also referred to
as “Social Statement”, now serves
as a teaching document that
describes the world and society
the creation of programs. its subject and content, the Social
that the ELCA lives and works in
The Social Statement was Statement now guides the work
to provide ministry and spread
eight years in preparation and understanding of the church as
the Gospel. The Social Statement
and represents the work and it relates to the sexual component
provides the basis and guidance
contributions of thousands of of the lives of everyone the church
for the formulation of policy and
Lutherans. Contentious because of reaches.
7
 Ice Cream Flavor Renamed To
Celebrate Marriage Equality
Ben & Jerry’s, known for its
euphoric ice cream flavors and
dedication to social justice, is
celebrating the beginning of the
freedom to marry for gay and
lesbian couples in Vermont with
the symbolic renaming of its well-
known ice
cream flavor
“Chubby
Hubby” to
“ H u b b y
Hubby.” In
partnership
with Freedom
to Marry, Ben &
Jerry’s aims to
raise awareness
of the importance
September 11 - 13 of marriage
Underwear Weekend equality and, to
Show Your Skivvies!
show its support,
September 25 - 27
will serve “Hubby
Pool Closing Party Hubby” sundaes in
Weekend Vermont Scoop Shops throughout
the month of September.
October 2 - 4 Ben & Jerry’s has a long
Man Hunt & Hook-Up history of commitment to social
Weekend justice, including gay rights.
Its partnership with Freedom
October 9 - 11 to Marry, a national leader in
Roktober BearFest the movement for marriage
equality, aims to raise awareness
of the importance of marriage
equality and to encourage other
states to follow the blazing trails
of Vermont, Massachusetts,
Connecticut, Iowa, and Maine.
Freedom to Marry promotes
the national conversation about
why marriage equality matters
and brings together partner
organizations into a larger whole
– a shared civil rights campaign.
“At the core of Ben & Jerry’s
values, we believe that social
justice can and should be
something that every human
being is entitled to,” said Walt
Freese, Chief Executive Officer
of Ben & Jerry’s. “From the very
beginning of our 30 year history,
we have supported equal rights
for all people. The legalization
of marriage for gay and lesbian
8 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
couples in Vermont is certainly
a step in the right direction and
something worth celebrating
with peace, love and plenty of ice
cream.”
To kick off the celebration,
Ben & Jerry’s and Freedom to
Marry will
be publicly
supporting
the first
marriages
of gay and
lesbian couples
in Vermont
and raising
awareness
for marriage
equality and
how to take
action by driving
consumers to
freedomtomarry.
org. By logging
onto the site, people can show
their support, sign a Marriage
Resolution Petition, have
conversations about why
marriage matters and learn more
about how they can support the
cause.
“It’s not polite to talk with
your mouth full, but the most
important thing that all us ice
cream lovers can do to support the
freedom to marry is speak with
the people we know about why
marriage matters and the need to
end marriage discrimination in
every state”,” said Evan Wolfson,
executive director of Freedom
to Marry. “Thanks to Ben &
Jerry’s, starting those needed
conversations has never been
sweeter – and thanks to Freedom
to Marry, we all now have a great
excuse to eat more ice cream.”
For more information on why
marriage equality matters and
to take action in your state,
please log on to freedtomarry.
org. To learn more about Ben &
Jerry’s social mission visit www.
benjerry.com.
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 9

Reducing Suicide Within GLBT Community
Focus Of Grant
The American Foundation for
cordially invites our readers Suicide Prevention (AFSP) has
to attend a received a $45,000 grant from the
Johnson Family Foundation (JFF) to
Lesbian Book Reading develop a project aimed at reducing
suicidal behavior and suicide risk
on Saturday, September 26 among lesbian, gay, bisexual and
beginning at 7:30pm. transgender persons.
“There is increasing evidence
Come meet authors: that GLBT individuals, especially
youth, have higher rates of
Christy Ikner suicide attempts as compared to
(PACKERS & POODLES), heterosexuals of the same ages,”
said Andrew Lane, executive
Marie Davis director of JFF. “Significant efforts
(HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE: must be undertaken to reduce
A Naughty Tale for Lesbians & suicide behavior and risk among
Other Grownups) and GLBT people. JFF’s grant to AFSP
will ensure that the best available
George Morrison research informs the design of
(OUT FROM IT ALL: interventions that will hopefully
Revolutions In A Lesbian Life) save lives and promote well-
being.”
Admission: $5.00
The funds will go towards a
(includes light refreshments) new AFSP prevention program
called the “Knowledge to Practice
For location and other details write: editor@theletteronline.com Initiative” which is designed to lay
the foundation for a national GLBT
suicide prevention strategy.
This strategy involves developing
partnerships with national and
Safety Suggestions local government organizations as
well as other suicide prevention
Make no mistake: Hate Crimes still happen – even in our region! organizations and leading
The Discrimination Response Team at  Louisville's Fairness queer groups. The goal of these
Campaign offers the following safety suggestions appropriate for partnerships will be to spearhead
any time you head out to area bars: more scientific research on GLBT
suicide, develop specific projects
Stay Alert—Awareness is your best self-defense.
Watch Your Drink -- Make sure you know the person who is
buying your drink, or buy your own. Watch your drink if you
lay it down. Remember that drugs can be easily slipped into your
GLBT Parents Group Forming at U of L
glass! GLBT parents are starting to
become more visible in our society.
Trust Your Instincts—If you think something is wrong, believe However, because of discrimination
your feelings and remove yourself from the situation. and homophobia in both the school
Project Confidence—While out walking, move like you know systems and larger community,
this population sometimes feels
where you're going and keep your head up and look around.
invisible. Many such families feel
Carry A Whistle— Carry it on your person where it is easily isolated by their communities and
accessible, like a jacket pocket or on your key chain. When you know of nowhere to turn for help.
need help, blow the whistle. If you hear a whistle and see someone The Office for LGBT Services
is in trouble, call 911 immediately. at the University of Louisville
recognizes the need to support
Remember to report all hate crimes! To give a confidential report our families and is organizing a
about hate crimes in the metro Louisville area write: fairness@ support group for parents (or those
fairness.org. who are interested in becoming
10 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
and activities geared to reducing
suicidal behavior, and address
the stigma and other factors that
increase suicide risk for GLBT
individuals.
The Knowledge to Practice
Initiative is a part of AFSP’s overall
GLBT suicide
prevention program. To read
more about the Foundation’s
initiatives visit www.afsp.org/lgbt.
Both AFSP and JFF have an on-
going commitment to addressing
LGBT suicide, and hope to engage
other foundations and funding
agencies to join in this effort.
The American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention is a national
not-
for-profit organization exclusively
dedicated to understanding
and preventing suicide through
research, education and advocacy
as well as to reaching out to people
with mental disorders and those
affected by suicide. For more
information visit www.afsp.org
The Johnson Family Foundation
is a progressive family foundation
operating national grantmaking
programs in the areas of
environmental health and GLBT
issues, as well as place-based
grantmaking programs in Vermont,
the New York City metropolitan
area, Pittsburgh, and Telluride. For
more information visit www.jffnd.
org.
parents) who identify as Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender. This
will be a place to meet other GLBT
parents who can offer guidance and
support. The group will facilitate
discussion about general parenting
issues as well as topics specifically
relevant to the GLBT community.
For more information contact Joey
Feldman at jfeldman02@yahoo.
com. You are welcome to join a
Facebook.com group called “LGBT
Parent Support Group (Louisville,
KY)”.
 It’s the
Experience! ®

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As an Ameriprise financial advisor, I
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© 2008 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

“Cher must have been singing about gay

men when she recorded Gypsies,
Tramps & Thieves.”
— seen on the Internet

SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 11

12 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
 In Support Of The 2009 LOUISVILLE AIDS WALK
HIGHLAND CHIROPRACTIC and IN BLOOM AGAIN
Proudly Bring You An Opportunity To Win a 7 day cruise for two!
Your $25 donation to the Louisville AIDS Walk will enter you in the drawing.

Get signed up online!

www.louisvilleaidswalk.org/cruise

Entries will be sold at the walk as well.

Drawing held September 13, 2009 at the
walk.

Join us on the Belvedere.

Registration starts @ 1:00

It’s a pet walk as well, so bring your furry friends!

SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 13

RADICAL SERENITY

Fairness-Friendly Churches Deserve More Attention by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor

My observation over the past effort to organize pro-fairness church and other Kentucky-based Fairness
decade is that anti-fairness churches folks. I believe such an effort must organizations hire Judy Dale of
are usually much more effective in begin with Fairness organizations Louisville to oversee contact with
motivating their members to oppose hiring someone to organize religious pro-fairness religious people and
GLBT rights than are most of the communities. organizations in the Commonwealth.
churches who support equality. This I would not trust volunteers to Judy’s community activism spans
is certainly true within the states that undertake such an important task. more than two decades, with her
make up the “buckle of the Bible belt” So yes, this would take money to involvement in various organizations
(e.g., Kentucky, Tennessee, Indiana, pay a religious organizer’s salary. going back to the 1980’s.
etc.). The religious right isn’t shy This would be a wise investment, A seminary graduate, Judy is
about getting their adherents to write especially given much respected
letters, make phone calls and show the deep pockets and loved by
up at the state capitol. They even and concerted many fairness-
have a plethora of church busses and efforts of our friendly church
vans to provide transportation to opposition. Our folks throughout
high-profile events. civil rights are Kentucky. I
What about our side? After all, certainly worth believe she has the
a sizable percentage of churches and fighting for and administrative
other religious organizations DO – to formally enlist, train and engage worth a generous Rev. Dee Dale, Carla Wallace and Judy Dale took gifts and people
support GLBT equality. People of inclusive-minded religious folks. investment of part in the 2009 Kentuckiana Pride Festival Parade skills to get the
faith who support our rights deserve As an Indiana native who has our financial this past June. job done.
to have their voices heard. Yet my lived in Kentucky for nearly 20 years, resources. Judy’s spouse
sense is that precious little is done my intuition tells me that statewide My suggestion is that the of more than 20 years is Rev. Dee Dale,
by Fairness organizations – and Fairness legislation will never become Kentucky Fairness Alliance, pastor of Metropolitan Community
certainly little if any money is spent law in either state without a greater Louisville’s Fairness Campaign Church of Louisville.

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14 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009

 LIBERAL ON THE SAUCE
Surviving the American Health Care System
A couple of years ago I suspected
I’d crossed a cultural divide after
seeing some statistics on national
income levels. Then last month I
knew for sure while watching all
those boisterous town hall protests
against President Obama’s proposed
national health care reforms.
Everyone seemed overweight, white,
and at or near retirement. There was
hardly a minority face or working
stiff in sight. It was then I knew I’d
crossed the line from middle class
to working poor. I couldn’t identify
with anyone in the audience.
You wouldn’t know it. I own
my own house free and clear, I get
rent from two apartments upstairs,
I have a full-time job, and I have
a little money stashed away here
and there. I get a little side money
from my art and writing. The main
problem: expenses have risen while
my income stagnated. I haven’t had
a raise in three years.
I’m not looking for sympathy. If I
sold the house and all my assets, I’d
be sitting pretty. But I shouldn’t have
to do that. That’s my retirement fund.
I inherited some of it, but I worked
hard for the rest of it. If that goes,
my only other option is running
away to Key West, throwing away
the razor, buying a parrot and an eye
patch, and charging tourists $5 to be
photographed with Captain Blarney.
People who lose their jobs or have
their homes seized by the banks
certainly know right away they’re
in deep do-do, but after the initial
shock I’m sure most figure out a
way to survive. A gradual slide like
I’ve experienced is better, but not
No Other Regional GLBT Publication
Offers FOUR Websites:
www.TheLetterOnline.com / theletter.win.net
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SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
by much. The adjustments are still
shocking, just not as wrenching.
Of course, the first to go were
the frills: plays, concerts, movies,
restaurants. Annual dues to the
ACLU, Fairness, and other worthy
causes were next, then magazine
subscriptions and book purchases.
I’ve managed to keep my cable and
internet service, but I don’t drive
anywhere unless there are several
stops on the itinerary. I seldom drive
for pleasure any more. Most of the
time, the car sits in the back parking
space.
My social life is pretty simple now:
happy hour at Tryangles or Woody’s
on Fridays. So far I’ve been able to
keep up that little tradition, though
as often as not I order well drinks
now, not Wild Turkey.
Oh, things are improving. I made
my final car payment in June, and I’ve
taken care of other bills. Next month I
should be free and clear of the greedy
credit card companies for good. I’ve
got my ACLU membership back. I
might be able to get new glasses to
replace the ones I’m holding together
with Scotch tape. But thoughts of
dining out again are on hold, and
the folder labeled “Vacation Plans”
remains filed away somewhere.
Which brings me back to those town
hall meetings. Looking at them not
with the eyes of a man raised in the
by David Williams
middle class but those of a working
stiff, I realized they were mainly
gatherings of the haves, assemblies
of people who like their health care
just fine and don’t understand what
the problem is. When any poor stiff
tried speaking in favor of health care
reform, they got booed down.
I don’t know what polling might
tell us, but I suspect those getting
booed are the same ones struggling
every day to make ends meet. In
among them are those who had to
get a second mortgage to pay for
routine surgery. Many of them use
emergency rooms as their doctor’s
office. Then there are those whose
parents died because they couldn’t
afford a doctor at all, and grandma
and grandpa, who have to decide
each month whether to buy pills or
food or pay for the heat.
The American dream is still alive,
but it could be more robust if we were
all guaranteed some form of health
care no matter what our economic
status. A nation that spends billions
on useless wars overseas ought to be
able to find money to take care of the
people those wars are supposedly
protecting back home. Or has this
country’s sense of decency and fair
play gone the way of all those middle
class values and Christian charity we
used to cherish so dearly?
David Williams is the founder of the
Williams-Nichols Institute and the Kentucky
Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives, which
are housed at the University of Louisville’s
Ekstrom Library.
15
16 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
 GAY LOVE COACH
Your First Face-to-Face Meeting: What Will You Talk About? by Brian Rzepczynski, M.S.W.
Moving Beyond Online Chatting
So you’ve more than likely been chatting it up
online with a potential dating prospect that you’ve
met through your personals ad and perhaps
even progressed to talking a bit on the telephone.
It is generally best practice to gradually move
from email correspondence or online chatting to
actually speaking “live” on the telephone before
meeting in-person for the first time. This gets the
acquaintanceship started at a reasonably good
pace and allows you to learn more about each
other through written and verbal words before
taking the plunge to meet face-to-face, which for
most people is the more vulnerable and nerve-
wracking scenario.
Take time to glean the information you receive
about this new man through all your modes of
communication you’ve had with each other before
deciding whether he meets your compatibility
criteria to even proceed with a physical meeting.
This will help to save much time and energy in
your quest for a good first date material.
Prepping for the Big Moment
It’s also important before segueing from phone
conversation to direct face-to-face contact that you
define for yourself the parameters of what this first
encounter with your personals ad match means.
It is generally helpful to view this first physical
approach with each other as a “first meeting” as
opposed to a “first date.” Labeling it as a “first date”
can conjure up all sorts of anxiety, anticipation,
and expectation that can be quite sabotaging and
distracting. “The first meeting” is intended to be a
brief and casual get-together to see if you and your
personals match can build-upon the momentum of
what has been achieved in your prior contacts and
to determine if there is enough compatibility and
chemistry to warrant pursuing a “first date” with
each other as the next progression.
Approaching “the first meeting” without any
anticipation of outcome is an important key to
staying in control of your dating life and to avoid
any unnecessary disappointments and unrealistic
expectations. You’re meeting a new person for the
first time for some fun and captivating conversation,
and if anything else materializes from that…bonus!
Keep it grounded.
So you’ve scheduled a time to meet up with this
new prospect. What the heck to do you talk about?
Communicating with someone online or on the
telephone can be a lot different and less anxiety-
provoking because of the sense of removal and
space that exists between the two of you. Sitting
face-to-face with a stranger that you’ve only just
begun to develop an affiliation with through
online methods can really be quite daunting for
some people.
Here are some tips for how to dialogue most
effectively on your “first meeting” to make the
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
experience satisfying and pleasurable for both of
you.
* To emphasize again, keep the focus on the fact
that there is no expectation of outcome. This will
help you to be more casual, relaxed, and to stay
fully present and engaged with your prospect
rather than be “stuck in your head” with worries
about how you’re “performing” or whether this
guy perceives you favorably.
* Remember to keep the meeting short, time-
limited and structured for the first time. It’s also
advantageous to do something activity-oriented
like going to a zoo or taking a short hike in a nature
preserve. This gives you a built-in conversation
piece by being able to talk about the cues in
your immediate environment and surroundings
rather than sitting there staring at each other
in uncomfortable silence across a coffee shop
table if you happen to freeze during a lull in the
conversation.
* Absolutely do not talk about anything negative!
This means no talk about ex-boyfriends, past
relationship baggage and scars, family problems,
health or financial issues, etc. This is about putting
your best foot forward and creating a climate of
positive energy and attraction. DO talk about your
dreams, goals, fantasies, passions, talents, work,
vacations, etc.
* This meeting is an opportunity for you to
discover if this man across from you would be
a potential goodness-of-fit with your personal
requirements for a partner and relationship. Make
sure you know what that would be for yourself
and then weave these questions in naturally during
the course of your conversation so that it doesn’t
sound like an interview.
* One of the greatest gifts you can give your
prospect is to show curiosity in who he is as a
person. Ask him questions about himself, validate
the things that he says, and show a genuine interest.
One of the secrets to landing a date with someone
or to making a good impression is to make sure
you leave the encounter with that person feeling
good about himself as a result of his interactions
with you.
* If you happen to run out of things to talk about
or find yourself paralyzed with a mental block, it
can be helpful to be appraised of current events
so that you may have that news at your disposal
to initiate a dialogue and learn more about your
prospects views and opinions on various matters.
* Discussions around religion, politics, and sex
may be better postponed for later contacts due to
the heaviness and potential controversy that exists
in these topics. The “first meeting” should be light,
fun, and positive. While it’s important to learn
about each other’s sexual tastes and preferences,
bringing this subject out in the first contact could
send mixed signals that this is more of a “cruising”
situation and that sex is a priority. The relationship-
minded single keeps sex into perspective at its
appropriate time and context.
Additional Suggestions
* Get your hands on a book called “First
Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How
Others See You” by Ann Demarais, PhD. This is
a great resource that I have my own clients read
when it comes to learning how to make a good first
impression, whether it’s for a business meeting, a
social event, or a dating situation. It’s got great
information for getting through the “first meeting”
with a dating prospect. You can purchase it here
at Amazon for your convenience if you prefer:
http://www.amazon.com/First-Impressions-
What-About-Others/dp/0553382012/?tag=the
gaylovecoa-20
* Before your meeting, make a list of all the
possible topics you could talk about when you
guys get together. Obviously, spontaneous
conversations will come across more naturally and
flow better, but just in case you need a back-up
plan, having some conversation-starters in your
back pocket can help ease your mind. Remember
to include questions about your own personal
requirements for a partner and relationship, and if
you don’t know what these are, spend some time
creating this very important list that ultimately
becomes your dating screening tool.
Enjoy your “first meeting!” Have a blast!
©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights reserved. To sign up
for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and
relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as
well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and
teleclasses, visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.
17
 GAY & FEMINIST
The Right to Enter by Eric Jost
I came across a really interesting
article in the Chicago Tribune by
Dawn Turner Trice describing a
recent trend in gay bars to ban
bachelorette parties from holding
their festivities there. The argument
being that because same-sex
marriage is such a contentious issue
right now (especially post-Prop 8),
isn't it a little condescending for a
group of heterosexual women to
use a gay space to celebrate rights
that we are denied?
At the risk of disenfranchising
my straight female friends and
readers, I must agree with those bar
owners who have chosen to ban
hen's nights from occurring in what
is supposed to be a queer space.
When I worked at the strip
club, I would see bachelorette
parties there at least once a week,
which I found annoying, odd, and
somewhat fun. I was glad that these
women were comfortable in such
an overtly sexual space, even if the
sexual imagery was not intended to
them. However, it was incredibly
annoying, because being a skinny,
18 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
unmuscular twink at the time, most
of the women had no interest in
me and would always tip the most
heteronormative dancers. And at
the end of the night, I wanted my
money!
The notion of actually banning
bachelorette parties from queer
spaces for political reasons is
something that never occurred to
me, but it does make sense. Even
when I go to gay clubs and bars
today and see bachelorette parties
-- or hear about friends who have
them there -- I feel slightly resentful.
I know these women generally
mean well, but it always makes
me feel like they've come to see
the freaks. Especially when drag
is involved. I just imagine these
women recounting the story years
later, "Hey, remember the time
we went to that gay bar?! Wasn't
that just crazy?! We are such fag
hags!" These are probably the same
women who voted against same-
sex marriage on religious or moral
grounds -- not possibly because
they are homophobic or hateful.
I also find it interesting that the
women who frequent these bars,
as Trice highlights in her article,
justify going to them by saying that
men at straight clubs are too creepy
or gross and they don't want to be
objectified.
OK, then just come to our bars so
you can objectify us as playthings.
I feel like you can't have it
both ways. If I was feeling "too
objectified" at a gay bar, I wouldn't
pack it up and go to a straight bar
-- because I prefer being sexualized
to being bashed -- I would just not
go to a bar that night. As LGBTQ
people, we don't necessarily have
an "alternative" space to go to if
we're tired of the same old scene.
We created queer spaces as a way
to feel safe and comfortable in
a specific location; and while I
sympathize with the desire to go
out and not have to worry about
prying eyes or grasping hands, no
one really has the right to enter
another person or group's domain
without being invited.
I do want to acknowledge all
of my wonderful straight female
friends who I would make an
exception for. Many of them are out
there protesting alongside us. They
have stood up and reprimanded
people who use anti-gay epithets.
And I know more than one of them
got me through the very difficult
process of coming out.
But ladies, please, before you
select a setting for your bachelorette
party, consider the implications.
Eric Jost is a freelance
writer living in
Washington, DC. His
work ranges from
embarrassing first-
person narratives to
commentaries on queer
rights and sex positive
culture; with work having appeared in SX
(Sydney, Australia), Storyscape, $pread
Magazine, and the anthology, Beyond
Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on
Gender and Politics. His weekly column,
“Culture Voyeur,” appears online.
You can check out more of his work at
www.eric-jost.com.
 BEYOND THERAPY
Why We Love Our Pets by Michael Kimmel
If you want to see something
amazing, Google: “gay people and
their pets”. There are hundreds of
photos and short essays on why we
love our animals so…and I don’t just
mean dogs and cats, there are horses,
ferrets, tortoises…you name it!
Why are we so in love with our
pets? If you are not a pet lover, this
article may make you gag. But, if so,
think about it: what’s not to like about
pets? The most popular pets are dogs
and cats, some of us have fish and
birds and some of us have horses,
snakes, lizards, newts and more.
In general, pets are loyal, playful,
friendly (depends on the pet you
choose) and they’re good listeners…
they DO “get” our emotions and
often respond (anatomy permitting).
Pets give us great opportunities to
practice love. People are harder to
love, I think. We’re so unpredictable
and moody, we’re not always glad
to see you when you come home,
especially if you’re late and didn’t
call. Pets don’t care if you’re late
or you look like hell or you want to
vent about your awful boss. They
love you as you are, listen to your
(boring) stories and may even nuzzle
against you if you shed a few tears
over a date that didn’t work out or a
lousy job interview.
Pets are great ways to get out of the
house and be out in nature: dogs,
cats, horses and many other animals
like to be outside…and encourage us
to join them.
Pets help us to be social. Many
psychological studies confirm that
single people living alone typically
have better mental health if they have
a pet. When I worked as a therapist
at a local Hospice, we had some
Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in five languages. Her first novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians and Other Grownups, can be
purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is mmmarie1961@aol.com.
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
lovely people who brought in “love
dogs” for everyone to pet. I have
seen research that shows that petting
animals lowers our blood pressure.
We also allowed people to bring
their cats into their Hospice rooms
because research showed that
people who have their animals
around them heal faster. Need more
reasons to appreciate pets?
If you’re shy but want to meet more
people, you might consider getting a
dog. Walking a dog is a great way to
meet people. Dogs are very attractive
to people who like dogs (most of us?)
and make conversations easy to start
and maintain (just focus on the dog,
not how nervous you are talking to
that cute guy/girl). Friendly dogs
are like magnets…and the dogs
usually like the attention too.
Pets let us experience being
responsible for another being. It’s
a good way to stretch yourself and
see what you’re ready for. A low
maintenance pet (like fish) may be a
good start. A big ole dog who needs
space and wants to be walked and
petted and paid attention to is another
level of commitment. Pets can’t tell
us they need to go to the doctor (not
in spoken English, anyway), so we
have to pay attention to them and
learn their cues and body language.
For some of us, our pets are a
crucial part of our life, and any
potential partner would have to be
okay with that. An example of this
is the website www.PetPeopleMeet.
com. As they say in their ad, “Meet
single pet owners. Free to join. 1000s
of pictures of Beatufiul Single Pet
Owners.” I checked it out and they
had both opposite- and same-sex
match-ups. A website like this exists
because - for many of us - a potential
partner would have to love our pet
as much as they love us. We and our
pet(s) are a package deal!
What about pets as substitute
children? Is it true that, as stereotypes
about us LGBT folks go, that our pets
are substitutes for “real” children?
I think this is stereotype isn’t about
our sexual orientation as much it
is about personal preferences.
Many straight people prefer pets
over kids…and many LGBT folks
have both kids and pets, so let’s
not buy into that stereotype. In
my biased opinion, pets are not
substitutes for anything; they are
enough just being their wonderful
selves. Children are a whole other
phenomenon. Not better, just
different. At least, this is what my
cat tells me…
Talk about a diverse
background, therapist
Michael Kimmel earned
a Master’s Degree
in Developmental
Psychology from Sarah
Lawrence College while
interning for Sesame
Street in New York City.
He currently resides in San Diego where
he maintains a private psychotherapy
practice and offer workshops for the
Southern Californian GLBT community.
Michael is currently editing his first book:
Life Beyond Therapy that is expected
to hit the bookstores sometime next
year. You may reach Michael through his
website: www.lifebeyondtherapy.com.
19
 OUTLOOK WITHIN
Stunning Young Man by Bryn Marlow
My friend describes him in enough
detail that I map the geography of
his upper body in my mind. A faint
trail leads southward from the oasis
of navel. Northward, the ridgeline
runs through a ripple of abs to where
well-defined pecs rise up, capped by
salmon-brown peaks of areola and
nipple.
Strong neck, square jaw, stubbled
chin. Lips full in the flower of youth.
Dusting of moustache, unapologetic
nose, blue blue eyes. Windblown
bangs drift across his forehead. What
in his upbringing could prepare him
to fathom his own beauty?
He recently came out to himself
after growing up in a conservative
religious tradition. His rugged good
looks and generous endowment
garner much attention. Heady stuff,
I imagine, for one who spent years
denigrating himself and his “sinful”
desires.
He has thrown himself into the
gay sexual scene with abandon. He
supplements his sensual exploration
with heavy drug use. He regularly
engages in barebacking and other
risky sexual practices.
“I suppose I should get tested.”
he says and laughs. His voice tone
says he has no such intention. His
Carmichael’s Bookstore Welcomes I.U. Author GLBT History Website Sponsoring Contest
On Friday, September 18th at
7:00pm Carmichael’s Bookstore
and The Fairness Campaign
welcome Indiana University
professor Mary Gray for a
discussion and book signing for
her new book, Out In The Country:
Youth, Media, and Queer Visibility in
Rural America. The book maps out
the experiences of young people
living in small towns across rural
Kentucky, providing a fascinating
and often surprising look at the
contours of gay life beyond the big
city.
Out in the Country is a timely
and groundbreaking study of
sexuality and gender, new media,
youth culture, and the meaning
of identity and social movements
in the digital age. The talk and
book-signing will take place at
Carmichael's Crescent Hill store,
2720 Frankfort Avenue. Admission
is free.
20 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
behavior says he wants it all, wants
it now, wants it with no holds barred.
No time to think, no time to consider.
Take, taste, feel, feel, feel.
In his poem Syringe, Jim Wise
describes meeting
The stunning blond god,
His muscles straining against
The taut flesh of a body he
Was just learning to enjoy.
The handsome youth of the poem
employs sex as a means of getting
heroin into his system. He strips
sex of its potential for celebration,
emotional connection, a sense of
being present to another human
being. People make such choices. So
do gods. I feel sad when I tot up the
costs.
What my friend's young friend
seeks in his headlong rush, I don’t
know. To heighten sensation? Numb
the pain of losses incurred in coming
out? Blot out the confusion of so
many new choices? I doubt that he
knows himself.
I do not condone his choices, yet
I recognize the wild eruption of
feeling, the recklessness, the sense
that the shackles have been thrown
off and anything goes. I felt a similar
Mary Gray
rush in my coming out journey.
Behavior has consequences.
How else to find the limits of the
permissible? Yet we kick against the
goads. The gay poet Cavafy observes
(in this translation from the Greek)
He swears every now and then
to begin a better life,
But when night comes with its
own counsel,
Its own compromises and
prospects—
When night comes with its own
power
Of a body that needs and
demands,
He goes back, lost, to the same fatal
pleasure.
In coming out I encountered the body electric—the body erotic,
men who shepherded me, acted the body taut with pleasure and
as mentors, offered sage advice, discovery of its own sexiness—in
modeled appropriate behaviors. I ways that honor the sacredness of
also found men who stood ready to all life, affirm the expression of our
take advantage of my naivete. While sexual selves, and build community
I learned something from both sets of at the same time.
men, I have maintained friendships
with only one group.
Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives
We do others a favor, and bless
with his husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana
ourselves and our entire community
farmstead where they raise chickens and
when we treat others with respect
flowers.
and genuine regard. We can celebrate
OutHistory.org is a new website which will receive prizes from
focusing on GLBT history in the $1,000 to $5,000 on June 28, 2010.
United States. Hosted by the In the fall of 2010, OutHistory.org
Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies will host an event showcasing the
at the City University of New York, winning exhibits.
Graduate Center, the website allows OutHistory.org users have
anyone to add discussion threads, already created exhibits about
create new pages, or upload images, the histories of LGBTQ life in
audio or video files. places such as Tippecanoe County,
In honor of the 40th anniversary Indiana, Columbia, South Carolina
of the Stonewall riots, OutHistory. and Champaign-Urbana, Illinois.
org is hosting a “Since Stonewall
Local Histories Contest.”
The contest invites users to create
online exhibits about the history of Got suggestions to
local LGBTQ communities in their
town, village, city, county or state make THE LETTER even
since 1969. To enter the contest
simply create and finalize an exhibit
better?
about a local LGBTQ community
by March 31, 2010. Dave VanderPol
A panel of judges convened by
OutHistory.org will assess the
is all ears!
exhibits and OutHistory.org will editor@theletteronline.com
announce the top five exhibits,
 DINING OUT
Swedish Dining in Chicago
Imagine starting off your morning
with a plate loaded with two warm
homemade cinnamon rolls, lush with
vanilla frosting. Imagine that is only
your prelude to a full breakfast. I was
recently in Chicago visiting family
when our group decided to go out for
breakfast in the city. We chose Ann
Sather, a Swedish restaurant with
four Chicago locations. Ann Sather
is famous for the aforementioned
rolls and they certainly played a key
role in our decision on where to dine.
The original Ann Sather can be found
in the Lakeview neighborhood on
West Belmont.
Because of convenience we opted
to try the Andersonville Ann Sather.
Andersonville is the city’s original
Swedish area of Chicago and there
are still reminders of its heritage in
the businesses located around Clark
Street. Andersonville is also home
to a diverse group of people and
businesses including many Hispanic
and Middle Eastern eateries and
bakeries as well as being one of
Chicago’s largest gay and lesbian
communities. In fact the owner of
Ann Sather is Tom Tunney, the openly
gay 44th Ward Alderman whose
area encompasses the Lakeview
neighborhood.
Ann Sather is open for breakfast,
lunch and dinner and the breakfast
menu is available all day. The
Andersonville location is not terribly
large but the interior allows for a
substantial number of tables as well
as a counter where you can dine.
The restaurant could do with a
subtle makeover but the comforting
blue and cream colors as well as the
wooden architectural highlights of
the room make it an inviting place to
enjoy a meal.
The staff was quite accommodating
to our group of nine and quickly
put some tables together toward
the front of the room. In addition
to the regular menu, there was a list
of specials available that day. As we
perused the menu, our waitperson
brought coffee and water. I did note
that Ann Sather is BYOB but they
proudly stated that they have all the
ingredients for Bloody Marys and
Mimosas. Good to know for any
future brunches at the restaurant!
SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter
If you plan on visiting Chicago in
the near future, I highly recommend
Ann Sather. Just go hungry and
plan on making that your meal for
the day. A couple of rolls and eggs
will certainly see you through lunch.
And make a point of exploring the
neighborhoods, either Andersonville
or Lakeview.
Ann Sather - Andersonville
5207 North Clark
Ann Sather - Lakeview
909 West Belmont
Ann Sather - Broadway
3411 North Broadway
Ann Sather - Southport
3416 North Southport
The menu leans towards eggs but
there are a number of pancake and
waffle options as well. Egg choices
range from Benedicts to three egg
Omelettes to breakfast wraps. All
egg entrees come with a choice of
two sides. Prices start at $6.25 for
two eggs and top out at $11.95 for
the Monte Cristo breakfast which is
French toast topped with ham, eggs
and Swiss cheese, and the Classic
which consists of three eggs with
beef tenderloin served on top of
grilled Portobello mushrooms with
Swedish Meatballs
pesto and blue cheese. Yum. The
average price for breakfast is $8.95.
Don’t forget that includes the famous
cinnamon rolls!
I selected the Traditional Benedict
($8.95) which included two poached
eggs with country ham and
Hollandaise. I opted for the rolls
and fresh fruit as my sides. My
husband tried the Potato Pancakes
with applesauce ($7.95) while several
people at the table chose the two egg
option with meat ($8.50). A few also
made their own omelettes ($8.50 with
one ingredient and each additional
ingredient $.50). The younger
individuals in our party ordered
pancakes. When we questioned our
server as to the size of the hotcakes,
she indicated that were about six
inches in diameter. The pancakes
arrived at the table overflowing off
the plates.
Everyone, with the exception of
my Father and the pancake eaters
ordered the cinnamon rolls. They
come to the table before your entrée
and you want to devour the entire
plateful. The rolls are served warm
with the frosting oozing down the
side and the aroma of the cinnamon
literally wafting through the air.
Most of us could only finish one of
the rolls, if that but they do provide
boxes and some of us were eating
rolls for the next few days.
As we patted our full tummies,
by Beth Ann Rubin
along came our main dish. Had I
known how filling the rolls could
be, I never would have ordered a
meal. A dish of fresh fruit and the
rolls would have made a satisfying
breakfast for me. However, the Eggs
Benedict beckoned and I was able to
eat one of the pair. The eggs were
perfectly poached and the slightly
lemony Hollandaise finished the
dish quite nicely.
All of the pancake eaters were quite
happy with his or her meal and those
that selected the two egg option were
probably the smartest of all of us. A
walk up and down Clark Street was
definitely in order after a breakfast at
Ann Sather.
The dinner menu does include a
classic Swedish sampler dish if you
are interested in that cuisine. The
Swedish Sampler ($13.95) includes
Roasted Duck with Lingonberries
glaze, Swedish meatball, Swedish
potato sausage, Buttered noodles,
Sauerkraut and Swedish brown
beans. The menu at the Belmont
location has a greater variety of
entrees but there is something about
eating Swedish cuisine in the heart of
the Swedish neighborhood.
If you plan on visiting Chicago in
the near future, I highly recommend
Ann Sather. Just go hungry and
plan on making that your meal for
the day. A couple of rolls and eggs
will certainly see you through lunch.
And make a point of exploring the
neighborhoods, either Andersonville
or Lakeview. Both play host to some
unique businesses that you probably
won’t find in Kentuckiana.
Beth Ann Rubin
has been
reviewing
restaurants
for THE LETTER
for nearly four
years. A Chicago
native, Beth Ann and her family live
just south of Louisville's Highlands
neighborhood. A talented cook in her
own right, over the years her baked
goods have earned her numerous
awards at the Kentucky State Fair.
21
 KENNETH C. PLOTNIK
Attorney at Law
607 West Ormsby Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky 40203 Fax: (502) 634-0576
What Path Calls You?
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To stop the cycle of STD’s growing
in our community, sexual partners need
to be tested and if necessary treated.
22 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009
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VIDEO
REVIEWS
BY CUBBIE BRITCHES
Country Teacher
A lonely,
closeted city
teacher escapes
to the Czech
countryside
in search of
a new life in
this tender,
poignant
d r a m a .
Dark-haired,
bespectacled
and painfully
shy, young natural sciences teacher
Petr (Pavel Liška) inexplicably leaves
a prestigious Prague school to work
with students in a small school in the
countryside. The farmers and villagers
are perplexed but quickly accept him into
their community. Among them is widow
Marie (Zuzana Bydžovská), who, with
her handsome 17-year-old son, rigorously
tend a farm.
The young teacher becomes friends with
the woman, but romance does not develop,
much to Marie’s disappointment. It soon
becomes clear that the painfully unhappy
Petr is gay but fears that that he cannot
tell a soul, especially the conservative
villagers. But, when drunk one night,
Petr's lust gets the better of him and his
actions threaten to destroy all that he has
worked for.
Vividly drawn, complex characters
(including some memorable supporting
ones); the beautiful Czech countryside;
and themes such as the fear of intimacy,
and the search for affection, acceptance
and redemption make this both an
entertaining and affecting story. (Czech
with English subtitles) Country Teacher is
available for rent at Wild & Willy Video,
conveniently located in Louisville’s
Highlands neighborhood.
 Bryan Gatewood
Attorney

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SEPTEMBER 2009 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 23

24 The Letter www.theletteronline.com SEPTEMBER 2009