The Bee, The Telephone, The Flower by Rebecca Lawhorne My mother sent me an email telling me that bees were

going extinct. She quoted lbert !instein, who supposedly said that i" bees disappear "rom the "ace o" the !arth, humans only ha#e another "our years le"t. !arlier that wee$ % #acuumed about two do&en o" them into a Shop'(ac with soapy water in its hull. % then dumped them into the dirt. She called me when % told her this. )*ou could ha#e +ust let them go "ree Rebecca., The use o" my biblical name gi#es the ending a tinge o" sarcasm. %t seemed that the tone "or the con#ersation was set. Truth"ully, % set the tone when % read her supposed !instein quote. % ha#e an issue with people throwing around lbert !instein quotes li$e "acts. % once made up a quote and then proceeded to circulate it until someone actually quoted it bac$ to me, as i" it were science itsel". "ter reading her email, % sent the reply o" dead bee images, with the title o" )whoops,. She seems o#erly passionate about the sub+ect. She must ha#e watched a documentary. She-s been into those lately. She can-t understand why % would $ill my bees. She-s nearly impossible to quell these day since she-s been educating hersel" on .et"lix and /ulu. She-d rather belie#e something wrong wholeheartedly "or 0 seconds then swing in limbo "or a minute while someone explains it to her. This extreme belie#ing is becoming a past'time "or her. 1r perhaps her years o" religious de#otion has made it natural. %t-s li$e her ropes are bro$en. nd % $now why. 2esus 3hrist hung "rom them until they snapped li$e a tomato "rom the #ine. )4ell i" %-d let them go, they would ha#e +ust died anyway. They can-t ma$e any more honey this year. nd we had to $ill them because now that it-s getting cold, they started to "eed on their own honey. 4e put it o"" a "ew days a"ter the "irst dip below 56 and we lost almost a "ourth o" the honey. %" you-re so worried about the bees Mom, you should at least learn how they operate., That last sentence suddenly seems completely unnecessary and tastes li$e emotional le"to#ers "rom around age 78. The #oice "rom that age sometimes regurgitates itsel" bac$ up, e#en now. %-#e already "orgi#en her "or our middle'class "amily issues, but % still ha#en-t purged my insides o" that childhood memory poison. % li$e to tell mysel" these emotional #omits are healthy since i-m getting it out o" my system. But % remember the loo$ in my Boy"riend-s eye the "irst time he heard me spea$ this way to her. %t was as i" % was undressing "or the "irst time'in "ront o" his "amily. %t-s true that bees are dying9 or at least that-s what she hears. % recently read in T%M! maga&ine about this thing'colony collapse disorder. ccording to them, enormous amounts o" bees are dying or "leeing their hi#es at alarming rates "or suspiciously human reasons li$e pesticides, or parasites that ha#e been introduced in the last :6 years. Then there-s the simple "act that bees are running out o" nutrition. Because the price o" Soy and 3orn is so high, "armers are "illing up all the wild areas bees need to pollinate with these crops.

There-s no e#idence that lbert !instein e#er said anything about bees. !#er. Someone +ust made that up. But, % can only pic$ so many arguments a phone call and %-m already running low. %-m reminded o" a con#ersation i-d had with a "riend recently about the 1phrys api"era orchid. )/a#e you e#er heard o" that orchid that e#ol#ed to loo$ li$e this extinct bee so it can sel"'pollinate; ).o., )%t-s really "ascinating actually. %t-s e#ol#ed to mimic a "emale bee that-s been extinct "or hundreds o" years. 4hen random ma$e bees try to mate with it, it deposits it-s pollen on their antennas and they carry it to the next orchid and deposit the old pollen trying to mate with the new orchid. %t-s ama&ing how nature will "ind a way. <oor bees though, right;, There-s no sound coming "rom the other end and % start to thin$ she-s put the phone down or switched to an incoming call without bothering to tell me when % hear some papers shu""ling. )Sorry Becca. %-m trying to help your "ather print on the computer., % can hear some mumbling nearby. )% don-t $now Scott. *ou "igure it out., She spea$s this audibly into the phone as i" "or me. % used to thin$ she wanted me to $now how miserable she was, but now % thin$ she ne#er grew out o" her childli$e honesty. % can "eel their weird tension and shrug it o"", imagining them when they are =6 years old, "umbling around with twitching "ingers and #oices. % remember when their marital tension was so "rightening % would mani"est the anger physically as a child. % was in anger management by 70. Sometimes % picture all those people pretending to lo#e each other on Sundays and 4ednesdays and thin$ )Their li#es were probably +ust as terrible., My dad quit going when % was little. /e said it seemed phony. /e-d rather pray "or hours in his room by himsel" and )wait "or >od,. /is "irst 86'day "ast % told my "riends he did "or health reasons. My mom is a "irm belie#er in churches. She-s helped establish them across the country, gi#ing hersel" to each one completely. My lac$ o" understanding about her is so great, % o"ten can-t e#en #ocalise who she is to others, not that % ha#e to % guess. )She-s a great lady., % was entering my third winter in las$a and % had +ust recei#ed a chec$ "or ?@66 "rom the state-s <ermanent Fund department. %t seemed li$e e#ery time % tal$ed to an outsider, % decided anew that % was not e#er lea#ing. % sat at the edge o" my dining room table in an old rolling chair, "acing out a large bay window into my bac$yard. 1ur two new rabbits sat snug in their pen up on a small hill, shielding our #iew o" the compost bins. They were chewing on some dying "ireweed % had cut and "ed to them. .aomi, my roommate, had placed the moose antlers "rom the moose she shot and $illed earlier that month on top o" their pen. % wasn-t sure why but it seemed appropriate. % began again. 3almly. )*ou see, we couldn-t $eep the bees o#er the winter or we would ha#e.,

)4hy not;, )*ou would ha#e to $eep them inside and it-s miserable "or the bees and the humans. nd it-s not easy. % mean some people do it, don-t get me wrong. 1ur neighbor showed us his bees that he $eeps in his closet., The con#ersation starts to "i&&le under the details which was what % was hoping "or and she starts telling me about this documentary she watched recently about Monsanto but % don-t listen. % thin$ about her selecti#e passion. /ow can she be so intelligent yet li#e inside her 3hristian prison "or 56 years; She calls hersel" >od-s warrior and has her "a#orite Bible scripture on her license plate, right next to her bumper stic$er o" a red circle and slash co#ering the words )/uman Tra""ic$ing,. nother passion o" hers. /ow can someone "lail around so blindly yet so "ull o" lo#e; % don-t thin$ i-ll e#er $now. % also don-t thin$ %-ll e#er $now her. But % can-t imagine how boring it must be to ha#e anything less than her as a mother. She is and always will be a distant planet seen only by telescope. % reali&e % am still on the phone. )Rebecca;, 4hat do % say to someone you +ust reali&ed you will ne#er $now; )Rebecca;A, )/ey. Sorry. Bad cell'phone reception., )Bgh...that-s o$ay % guess., The phone stays silent "or a second as we wait "or one another to care. )% +ust don-t understand why you couldn-t let them go Rebecca. .ature will "ind a way.,