"I'm interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he isto have extreme prejudice."- Clint EastwoodWhat right does a Hollywood type have to an opinion on such an important subject?As much right as anyone else. Being a man involved with the public in many waysfor so many years, Eastwood likely has a better perspective about how people actthan most of us because he has been exposed to so many insecure people infilmland. Hollywood is a Mecca for insecure people.Assume his observation is correct for the purpose of this discussion. What we haveare two important parts to his statement: insecure people and those with extremeprejudice.Why would anyone be insecure? A genetic defect? A nasty mother? Abuse as a child?The number of people who suffer from feelings of insecurity suggests that thecause is more pervasive than any of these. Almost everyone feels insecure aboutsome things, or they should because they cannot know enough about every problem orsituation they face to be able to cope with it effectively and efficiently.The kind of insecurity that Eastwood was speaking about is basic, far deeper thannot knowing enough about the kind of flat screen TV to buy. This kind goes back tochildhood, specifically to unfulfilled needs.A baby spends nearly a year in the womb before birth, 40 weeks in constant touchwith its mother. After birth, the need for constant touch continues, but theamount of touch time between mother and child decreases dramatically. As the childgets older, the need continues, though not to as great an extent as before birth.The child can look after itself in childhood passtimes. A fair amount of touchingis still needed. It continues throughout our lives.That need for touch in adults is vastly underrated by most people. How it affectssingle people (unattached to a cohabiting other of any kind), married people whobecome separated or married people whose spouse dies or becomes alienated inanother way is seldom addressed to the extent it deserves. A man whose wife leaveshim may be a bomb waiting to explode because he doesn't know how to cope with theloss of touch as well as the loss of a way of life.Studies have shown that we each need the equivalent of 12 hugs per day to besatisfied with our lives. The ideal would be 18 hugs. But who has time for that?Most of us do, if we make time because we know how important touch is to ourwelfare--both emotional and physical health. It doesn't always have to be a hug.It could be a touch while passing in the hall, holding hands while having coffeeor walking together and sleeping next to each other. A kiss and huge when leavingeach other and when meeting again counts as two each.An insufficient amount of touch will make anyone insecure to some extent. Thedegree will vary and it's hard to measure. In general, all unhappy people lacksufficient touch from a loved one to satisfy them. Those who have extremeprejudice have accommodated themselves to insufficient touch for many years. Theymay even deny their need for touch.A prejudiced person needs someone to hurt, just as bullies do. The unfulfilledneed for touch for far too long has caused them to want to hurt someone else theway they have suffered themselves. They seldom want to talk about how they hurt orabout their need.
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