Preschool Halloween Bash

Happy Halloween butNO MONSTERS ALLOWED!That is the mantraof a preschooler when Halloween rolls around.Young children loveholidays and celebrations and they love nothing more than playingdress-up.The only problem with Halloween is that it can be a bitscary and overwhelming for the young tots.So, before we talkabout throwing the bestPreschool Halloween Bashwe should talk abit about child development and where preschoolers are on thatspectrum. Children in thisage group (2-6) are not cognitivelydeveloped enough to distinguish between what is real and what isnot. Their over-active imaginations believe what they see to be realand monsters can become a very real part of their psyche.Everyonehas heard of the monster under the bed or in the closet that hascaused many young children to fear for their lives and panic at thethought of turning the lights out at bedtime.Many hours of sleephave been lost by children and parents over this very vivid fear thatchildren have.The anxiety a child feels can cause all sorts of problems beside losing sleep.It can manifest itself in other waysand cause a child to regress in many areas of growth anddevelopment such as toilet training, peer interaction, separationanxiety and even physical illness.There are ways to lessen thetrauma that preschoolers may experience around Halloween time.The important thing is not to make light of a child's fears.We've allheard some parents admonish a child by saying things like "Stopacting like a baby" or "There's nothing to be afraid of - stop actingsilly" and other comments like that or even worse.The key tohelping a child understand and cope is to acknowledge those fearswith calm, reassuring words.Trying to force the child to 'let it go' or'just get over it' will not work but rather will make the situationworse and reinforce the fears.Letting the child know that youunderstand the fear and know that what he feels is real but that itwill be ok is a much better approach.Telling the child you may haveeven felt the same way at one time validates their feelings andoffers some reassurance and that is what they need most.In thecase of Halloween, the best way to help preschoolers feel better isthrough pretend play.When a young child is engaged in pretendplay (which is most of the time!) they are acting out their fears andtrying to overcome them and understand them.For instance, whenchildren dress up in costumes or dress-up clothing they are tryingout that role and putting themselves in charge of the direction theplay will go.They have control over the situation and feelempowered and gain mastery over the fear they may have or thenew skill they want to learn.Children learn through play!

Desensitizing young preschoolers to scary Halloween imagery is agood way to start alleviating some fears and it's best to start a fewweeks before Halloween when all the decorations and store displaysstart to appear. You can start with reading Halloween stories written just for preschool children.It is a safe and enjoyable way to discussthe pictures and ask questions about what the child is thinking.If the story is about a little witch then placing some witch hats orcostumes in the dress up box will allow the child to act it out andinternalize some of the understanding.If the story was abouttenlittle ghoststhen putting a white sheet or two with large eye holescut out allows the child to be a ghost and make ghost sounds andscare the other children.Playing a ghost song and dancing aroundas a ghost helps a child feel more positive about ghosts that theymay see at Halloween time.When there is understanding of theunfamiliar then there is less fear as with anything in life - even foradults. Eventually, as a child gains understanding and grows thefears become less and less with each passing year.One of the worstthings a preschooler can experience at Halloween time is to beterrorized by an older sibling or neighbor or even an adult byfrightening masks and some of the darker elements that the holidayencompasses.It will take a long time to un-do that damage.Offeras much protection as possible from that sort of exposure.Always tell the truth to your child.If you say the needle won't hurtthen your child will lose faith and trust in what you say.It is alwaysbest to tell it like it is but to try and allay fears.It's better to saysomething like, "I know you don't want to get that needle (thisvalidates the fear) .I don't like needles either (this shows empathy)but it will be over quickly and I'll be right here with you (this offerssecurity and reassurance).'Lying only backfires because the nexttime the child needs to see the doctor, his fear and anxiety level willbe increased because what he expects to happen and what you saywill happen do not correlate. The child who is given honesty andrealistic expectations is a much better behaved child than the onewho is fed lies and uncertainty because the latter child is caught inthe cycle of anxiety and fear and is not being given the opportunityto face his fears and grow.That insecurity will play itself out overand over again in the form of separation anxiety.The child will befearful of everything and not want to be separated from the parents.They will be afraid of many new things such as starting a newpreschool, taking dance lessons, interacting with peers, startingschool and more.Helping a child face fears will benefit in manyways.