The 5 Secrets of True Love: Are You Ready to Learn Them?
I have been counseling men and women for the last 44 years. There are many concerns people bring, but most of them are related to their desire to have a relationship where they can feel lovedand where they can share their love. As someone who has been married three times (third timewas definitely the charm for Carlin and me), I’m always looking for ways to improve our relationship and share our insights with others. Here’s what I’m learning these days.Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk and internationally known author, poet,scholar, and peace activist who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther KingJr. I’ve always appreciated his perspectives on meditation and life. When I recently found asmall volume titled
True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart
, I was sure I’d uncovered agem. His words, thoughts, and feelings have enriched my understanding and practice of love.There are five simple practices that we can all put into effect if we want more love in our lives.
1.Make time for love.
This may seem obvious, but in our busy, fast-paced lives, love often gets short-changed. Hanhasks us, “Do you have enough time to love? Can you make sure that in your everyday life youmake the time that is needed to share your love?” We do not have much time together, hereminds us. We are too busy. In the morning while eating breakfast, we do not look at the person we love, we do not have enough time for it. We eat very quickly while thinking aboutother things, and sometimes we even hold a newspaper that hides the face of the person we love.In the evening when we come home, we are too tired to be able to look at the person we love.We get lost in the T.V. or in other activities. We must make time for love. We must bring abouta revolution, says Hanh, in our way of living our everyday lives, because our happiness, our verylives, depends upon it.2.
Be there for the one you love.
Hahn asks us, if we are not there, how can we love? To be there for someone we love means wemust first be present to ourselves. We must take a deep breath and be here in the moment. Wemust let our thoughts and worries of the past and the future be stilled. We breathe and we arehere. Hanh suggests a simple practice of mindful breathing. “Breathing—I know that I am breaking in; breathing—I know that I am breathing out.” If we do this simple practice with alittle concentration, he reminds us, we can begin to still our restless minds and be present toourselves and the person we love.