Impact of Low Self-Esteem

C6436 Individual Counseling Theory

and Practice
Presented by:
James J. Messina, Ph.D
 What is Low Self-Esteem?
 Insecurity
 Closed to Others
 Poor Decision Maker
 Anxious
 Fear of Intimacy
 Not able to have fun
 Black and White Thinker
 Poor Anger Control
 High Need for Approval
 Lots of Guilt
 Lots of Depression
 What is Healthy Self-Esteem?
 Sense of Productivity
 Sense of Autonomy
 Sense of Uniqueness
 Altruistic
 Leadership Ability
 Sense of Competence
 Self-Confidence
 Healthy Self-Concept
 Independent Thinker
 Self-Accepting & Loving
 Good Decision Maker
What Contributes to Low Self-
Esteem
 Dysfunctional
Environments
 Bad relationships
 Codependent
 Has Disability
 Non -supportive
school, work
 Abused
 Conditional
acceptance and love
 What causes Dysfunction?

 Things more
important than people
 Mental illness
 Major Losses
 Abuse
 Rigid feelings
 Ice Boxes
 Addiction
 Disability
 Big Pay Off
Looking -Good
 Hero
 High Achiever
 Over-responsible
 Driven
 Approval Seeker
 Looks together
 Goal: Denial of
Problems
 Acting Out
 Scapegoat
 Irresponsible
 Trouble-Maker
 Rebellious
 Poor - Under
Achiever
 Anti-authority
 Self-destructive
 Caustic
 Goal: Divert focus
Pulling In
 Invisible
 Loner
 Bookish
 Quiet - Recluse
 Hard to know
 Aloof
 Avoid problems
 Protect self
-overweight
 Goal: withdraws to
survive
 ENTERTAINER
 Clown
 Mascot
 Comic Relief
 Immature
 Hyperactive
 Not taken seriously
 Distracter
 Attention getting
 Talks a lot
 Goal: Divert attention
Troubled Person
 Irresponsible
 Addict
 Unstable
 Blame others
 Out of control
 Broken
 Con artist
 Denial of problems
 Problem for others
 Goal: Self-serving
 Enabling
 Protect & Save others
 Over-responsible
 Co-dependent
 Nagger
 Covers up
 Controlling
 Demanding
 Goal: get troubled
people to change
Rescuing
 Helper
 Motivated
 Victimized
 Stuck
 Irrational Loyalty
 Burdened-down
 Self-Negated
 Unassertive
 Goal: reduce tension,
hurt & pain
 People Pleasing
 Easily liked
 Placator
 Always smiling
 Outgoing
 Friendly
 Courteous
 Generous
 Fits in
 Works hard to please
 Goal: get approval
Non-Feeling
 Stoic
 Nothing bothers
 Intense thinker
 Low-Key
 Steady even-
tempered
 No strong feelings
 Black & White
 Goal: deny feelings to
survive
Impact of Low Self-Esteem

S o u rc e s o f L o w S e lf-E s te e m
d y s fu n c t io n a l e n v ir o n m e n t s , d is a s t e r o u s r e la t io n s h ip s , c o d e p e n d e n c y ,
p h y s ic a l a b u s e , e m o t io n a l & v e r b a l a b u s e , s e x u a l a b u s e , a d d ic t io n s ,
d is a b ilit y , p e r s o n a l fa ilu r e s , c h r o n ic illn e s s , n e g le c t , p u t d o w n s

T h in k in g d is to rte d F e e lin g s d is to rte d B e h a v io rs d is to re d

by d e n ie d , r e p r e s s e d , u n h e a lt h y , ir r e s p o n s ib le ,
ir r a t io n a l b e lie fs & e x a g g e ra te d o r c o m p u ls iv e , u n p r o d u c t iv e ,
o ld b e h a v io r a l s c r ip t s e x p lo s iv e fe e lin g s s e lf- d e s t r u c t iv e

LO W SELF ESTEEM

C o m p u ls iv e P e rs o n a lity T ra its
L o o k in g G o o d , A c t in g O u t , P u llin g I n ,
E n t e r t a in in g , E n a b le r , T r o u b le d P e r s o n ,
P e o p le P le a s e r , R e s c u e r , N o n fe e lin g

U n re s o lv e d L o s s Is s u e s U n r e s o lv e d A n g e r Is s u e s

S e lf-D e s tr u c tiv e B e h a v io r s P e r s o n a l A d ju s tm e n t P r o b le m s

C o n tr o l Is s u e s F a u lty C o m m u n ic a tio n s

In te r p e r s o n a l R e la tio n s h ip P r o b le m s
Healthy Adult Self-Esteem

N e c e s s a r y C o n d it io n s f o r G r o w t h

S e lf N u r t u r in g N u r t u r in g E n v ir o n m e n t N u r t u r in g R e la t io n s h ip
u n c o n d it io n a l s e lf lo v e & a c c e p t a n c e r e c o g n it io n & a c c e p t a n c e u n c o n d it io n a l lo v e & a c c e p t a n c e
a c c e p t s e lf a s u n iq u e d e fin e d & e n fo r c e d lim it s g o o d c o m m u n ic a t io n s
o p e n & h o n e s t in p e r s o n a l fe e lin g s r e s p e c t & fr e e d o m t o b e s e lf w a r m t h , c a r in g & lo v e o f o t h e r s

H e a lth y S e lf-E s te e m
S e lf-w o r th S e lf-D e s e r v e d n e s s

P r o d u c tiv e P e r s o n a lity P e r s o n a lly R e s p o n s ib le

C r e a tiv e P r o b le m S o lv e r A ltr u is m

L e a d e r s h ip H e a lth y C o p in g S k ills

H e a lth y S e lf-c o n c e p t O p tim is m

 Self-Esteem Recovery Model
S o u rc e s o f R e c o v e ry
I n d iv id u a l, c o u p le , fa m ily , g r o u p c o u n s e lin g , T r e a t m e n t
P e e r s u p p o r t , 1 2 S t e p P r o g r a m s , B u d d ie s a t S E A ,
A A , N A , G A , O A , A la n o n , A C O A , C o D A

R a tio n a l T h in k in g H e a le d R a tio n a l F e e lin g s H e a lth y R a tio n a l B e h a v io rs

le a r n w h a t is r e a lit y & n o r m a l, le a r n h o n e s t a n d o p e n id e n t ify & a c t o n r a t io n a l t h o u g h t s a n d fe e lin g s ,
d is p e l ir r a t io n a l, c r e a t e a ffir m a t io n s e x p r e s s fe e lin g s a c c e p t r e s p o n s ib ilit y - L e t G o t o G o d

C h a n g e d O ld P e rs o n a lity T ra its
r e w r it e o ld s c r ip t s , r e d e fin e s e lf

Im p r o v e d S e lf - E s t e e m

L e t g o o f L o s s Is s u e s R e s o lv e A n g e r Is s u e s

E lim in a te S e lf- D e s tr u c tiv e B e h a v io r s Im p r o v e d p e r s o n a l fu n c tio n in g

S e lf-c o n tr o l - le ttin g g o o f o th e r s Im p r o v e d C o m m u n ic a tio n s

Im p r o v e in te r p e r s o n a l r e la tio n s h ip s