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Emotional Foreplay

Emotional Foreplay

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Published by Abidin Zein
Sex is about connection, so it starts wherever and whenever a connection is made between potential sexual partners. Really, foreplay is all the sex that happens before genitalia gets involved, and it is important to remember that it’s just as important as the parts with genitalia. Foreplay is not a back massage and licking a nipple, it’s the art of getting into a person’s head and creating a desire to completely give in to his or her preexisting sexual urges. In short, it’s mind-f_cking. Foreplay is Words:You have to be comfortable using your words to elicit sexual desire...it 's about creating fantasy .Sex is Mostly Between Your Ears, Not Your Legs. For a woman to truly enjoy sex...you must engage her erotic mind. Making your partner feel sexy is always good, but you should live by the credo, “anything worth doing, is worth doing right.” Are you priming the pump for an encounter tonight? Once you have a feel for what’s she responds to, you can move on to more overtly sexual behavior...The journey is more important than the destination. Foreplay is Control:The key is listening and responding confidently to the desires you are eliciting from your partner.
Not only is sex about communication between people, it's about the systems of your brain and the rest of your body communicating, too. The beauty of bodies and brains is that they don’t all communicate the same way. It may take time to figure out how your personal communication works, but it’s definitely worth the effort.
Sexuality is physical and sensory, but also chemical, emotional (yes, even for anyone who says sex isn’t at all emotional for them), psychological, intellectual, social, cultural and multi-sensory. That's all brain stuff. Foreplay is Attitude :The greatest aphrodisiac in the world is confidence, so foreplay has to be an attitude projecting that you know what the hell you are doing. Foreplay is Escalation:The attitude, the playfulness, the words, the control, all must escalate to the physical expression of sexual arousal and desire. Because without that, foreplay is just blue-balling. Foreplay is Control:The key is listening and responding confidently to the desires you are eliciting from your partner. Foreplay is NOT Timed:But most importantly, every time is different, and every context is different. You are just going to have to have the confidence to listen and play the game well. Foreplay should be an ongoing, 24 hour experience, and should not be limited to the bedroom only.

AFTER GLOW :- the time after orgasm carries with it a certain vulnerability and softness. It is truly the“glow” of the “after” and is of vital importance to the health and well being of the relationship. AFTER GLOW is as important to the overall experience as is foreplay.It is a time for communicating to each other about the level of pleasure experienced, and to give thanks to our partners for sharing in the process of sexual pleasuring. It is a time for reaffirming and reassuring your partner. After glow offers a sense of completion and satisfaction to the sexual experience. It is a time for you to voice sentiments of love and devotion. It is a time for intimacy; a shared pillow, and hugging and cuddling as each of you drift off to sleep. After sex there is a release and a state when the body is once again in a relaxed state where all systems are functioning at a normal rate.If your partner (or you for that matter) is relaxed enough to fall asleep, then perhaps that is a wonderful testimony to the level of intensity experienced by you or your partner. *Hint for Men: Women need to be reassured over and over and over and over.
Reassure that you love them and you think they are pretty, special and so on.
Even the sexiest "tom boys" and "GI Jane's" need constant reassurance.
“AFTERPLAY” describes whatever a couple does immediately following
lovemaking, most often cuddling, caressing, and sharing intimate
thoughts.
Tender and affectionate afterplay is one
of the keys to improving
Sex is about connection, so it starts wherever and whenever a connection is made between potential sexual partners. Really, foreplay is all the sex that happens before genitalia gets involved, and it is important to remember that it’s just as important as the parts with genitalia. Foreplay is not a back massage and licking a nipple, it’s the art of getting into a person’s head and creating a desire to completely give in to his or her preexisting sexual urges. In short, it’s mind-f_cking. Foreplay is Words:You have to be comfortable using your words to elicit sexual desire...it 's about creating fantasy .Sex is Mostly Between Your Ears, Not Your Legs. For a woman to truly enjoy sex...you must engage her erotic mind. Making your partner feel sexy is always good, but you should live by the credo, “anything worth doing, is worth doing right.” Are you priming the pump for an encounter tonight? Once you have a feel for what’s she responds to, you can move on to more overtly sexual behavior...The journey is more important than the destination. Foreplay is Control:The key is listening and responding confidently to the desires you are eliciting from your partner.
Not only is sex about communication between people, it's about the systems of your brain and the rest of your body communicating, too. The beauty of bodies and brains is that they don’t all communicate the same way. It may take time to figure out how your personal communication works, but it’s definitely worth the effort.
Sexuality is physical and sensory, but also chemical, emotional (yes, even for anyone who says sex isn’t at all emotional for them), psychological, intellectual, social, cultural and multi-sensory. That's all brain stuff. Foreplay is Attitude :The greatest aphrodisiac in the world is confidence, so foreplay has to be an attitude projecting that you know what the hell you are doing. Foreplay is Escalation:The attitude, the playfulness, the words, the control, all must escalate to the physical expression of sexual arousal and desire. Because without that, foreplay is just blue-balling. Foreplay is Control:The key is listening and responding confidently to the desires you are eliciting from your partner. Foreplay is NOT Timed:But most importantly, every time is different, and every context is different. You are just going to have to have the confidence to listen and play the game well. Foreplay should be an ongoing, 24 hour experience, and should not be limited to the bedroom only.

AFTER GLOW :- the time after orgasm carries with it a certain vulnerability and softness. It is truly the“glow” of the “after” and is of vital importance to the health and well being of the relationship. AFTER GLOW is as important to the overall experience as is foreplay.It is a time for communicating to each other about the level of pleasure experienced, and to give thanks to our partners for sharing in the process of sexual pleasuring. It is a time for reaffirming and reassuring your partner. After glow offers a sense of completion and satisfaction to the sexual experience. It is a time for you to voice sentiments of love and devotion. It is a time for intimacy; a shared pillow, and hugging and cuddling as each of you drift off to sleep. After sex there is a release and a state when the body is once again in a relaxed state where all systems are functioning at a normal rate.If your partner (or you for that matter) is relaxed enough to fall asleep, then perhaps that is a wonderful testimony to the level of intensity experienced by you or your partner. *Hint for Men: Women need to be reassured over and over and over and over.
Reassure that you love them and you think they are pretty, special and so on.
Even the sexiest "tom boys" and "GI Jane's" need constant reassurance.
“AFTERPLAY” describes whatever a couple does immediately following
lovemaking, most often cuddling, caressing, and sharing intimate
thoughts.
Tender and affectionate afterplay is one
of the keys to improving

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Published by: Abidin Zein on Feb 05, 2008
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EMOTIONAL FOREPLAY
Emotional foreplay refers to the sexually conducive thoughts and emotionalconnection needed to "get in the mood." Women are wired in a way thatrequires emotional foreplay for them to get to where most men begin!Music and movies are excellent sources for cultivating sexual readiness bystirring romantic thoughts and emotions. Sometimes a song on the radio or seeing a romantic movie can cause a flicker of arousing thoughts that if welcomed, encouraged, and directed at our spouse can provide fuel for intimatedesire.The trick for husbands isto allow their wives to enjoy "mood movies" and "mood music" without anypsychological pressure of strings attached.FROLICKING FOREPLAY
First let’s divide frolicking foreplay into two parts, emotional and physical. Emotionalforeplay ismaking our partner feel special and valued in and out of the bedroom.Withoutemotional foreplay no amount of physical foreplay will create the hot sizzling sex and thedeep emotional intimacy we constantly crave.women are largely turned on by communication and through their emotions,It has been written thatwomen need ten times more foreplay than men,so I am justrepeating what I have read. So now you can see why just “bringing home the bacon” or  just “being around” won’t be enough to light her fire. And foreplay must be a dance thatgoes on continually throughout the relationship,
women are turned on by “emotional stimulation” the way men are aroused visually. Though moreand more romance authors are leaning toward more erotic romance,In most cases, a woman’s libido is directly linked to emotions that revolve around romance andlove. These emotions are a connected set of processes that involve physiological changes, suchas heart rate, blood pressure and hormones circulating throughout the body—and these comprisethe cornerstones of a woman’s sexual drive. Therefore, when a woman’s emotions are stirred bya romance novel, that’s a recipe for an emotional aphrodisiac. It’s like giving a woman emotionalforeplay.”
:"Asif is very liberal...in him she knew she found a man who was secured enoughin himself to allow a woman to be really powerful and not to feel threathened..."
 
In the mood: 10 ways to fuel her desire
1.Practice emotional foreplay. Sultry French icon Brigitte Bardot said that sex begins early in the morning and ends when you go to sleep at night - meaning thatthe way you treat your lady throughout the day determines just how hot she'll bewhen you're ready to get horizontal. Make thoughtful ongoing efforts that say Icare about you.2.Control yourself. Show her that affection needn't always lead to sex. Women oftenresent the feeling that when a man gets close, it's meant as a prelude to rattling the bedposts. But when a woman feels that you crave her body as more than a sex toy,her uninhibited desire for you is free to emerge. So give her a massage and justhold her.3.Pursue, pursue, pursue. For most women I know, a fine line exists between being pressured and being pursued - and we love to be pursued.A woman who isn't otherwise in the mood can be infected by the magnetism of your desire if you persist in a stylish, seductive manner.Don't spout, sulk or withdraw affection. If you handle her refusal graciously, you'llscore points that will lead to an enthusiastic "yes!" sooner rather than later.4.Cross erogenous borders.A woman's excitement rises when a man makes love toall of her. You've probably heard that before, but try looking at it this way: Awoman's body, from her arching brows to her carefully painted toes, is as hungryfor stimulation as your penis. Imagine how you'd react if a woman thought shecould satisfy you by rubbing a one-centimeter circle somewhere on the head of your favorite organ. Would that make you happy? Now think about making lovewith your partner. Do you think that simply stroking her clitoris - rich with nerveendings, but still one minuscule spot - is really going to make her want to repeatthe whole process tomorrow? While women love orgasms, and stimulating theclitoris is a great way to induce them, what a woman will remember best is thefact that you aroused her to the melting point before you got your hands on thethermostat.
Giving pleasure and knowing that it is being enjoyed is her own emotional foreplay
I
Sex is about you, making love is about both of you. When you just have sex, your partner  becomes the means to an end — this is enough to make any woman feel lousy!Emotional intimacy is like a 7/24 foreplay. When we feel really close to each other, themental foreplay never stops. Your mind is intimately connected all the time. Manycouples have lost that connection and often end up living like roommates.
 
ways of intimacy
One the greatest desires of both men and women is to be truly understood, thatis, for our mate and friends to really know how we feel and why. One of thegreatest dimensions of love is the intimate exchange of being understood.Men are mostly stimulated by what they see, women are mostly stimulated bywhat they hear. Men say what they see (facts, commands, criticism), women saywhat they feel (intangibles, indirect responses, personal attributes). These typeof things will provoke an undesirable response and will often drive their mateaway.Men are factual and critical-black and white, Women are feeling and sensual--abstract:· Say what you feel, not what to do. Say how it feels, not the facts.Negative examples:1. Down deep inside that makes me feel like crying when you bring that up not:When are you going to let go of that grudge.2. Do you know how much it hurts when you are with someone else even if youdon't supposedly care about them, not: Stop doing that shit with those guys.3. Do you know how much I trust you, not: I can't believe you did that again.Positive examples:1. I really love it when you cook for me, not just: you are a great cook.2. You make life so much more beautiful, you notice and cherish what everyoneelse takes for granted, not: ignoring her comment or saying “don't be so silly, orenough already, or you get so excited over nothing”.3. “That turns me on” not: “do that some more” or “keep going” or silence/nocomment.· Women and even people in general will not condemn or argue about how youfeel about something, but you do invite strife with commands and statements of fact. We men have to look to why we want to issue a command or make astatement. There is always a feeling causing the command or factual statementthat will bring intimacy and deeper connection/respect with our mate if we learnto express them.· Old proverb: A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up strifeand anger.Understanding Submission

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The basic ingredients of foreplay are physical and mental/emotional stimulation, trust, and the expression of caring. Open discussion, sensitivity, and acceptance are vital to a healthy approach to foreplay.
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There is a quote by sex therapist Esther Perel which is, “Tell me how you were loved as a child and I will tell you how you make love as an adult.” The earliest childhood experiences contribute to various sexual fantasies and preferences. The way children are cared for—or not--by their caretakers and other important people in their lives from birth to 8-years-old seem to be the most important in s
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