THE SEVEN HABITS

OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE
PEOPLE
STEPHEN COVEY
 PREVIEW
 Paradigms & Principles
 Private Victory:
 Habit 1: Be proactive
 Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind
 Habit 3: Put first things first
 Public Victory:
 Habit 4: Think Win/Win
 Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood
 Habit 6: Synergize
 Renewal: Habit 7- Sharpen the Saw
PARADIGMS &
PRINCIPLES
INSIDE OUT
 WHAT COVEY’S SON
TAUGHT HIM
 If we want to change the situation,
we have to change ourselves
 To change ourselves effectively, we
have to change our perceptions, the
lens through which we see the world
 THE PERSONALITY &
CHARACTER ETHICS
 According to the character
ethic, true success & enduring
happiness can result only when
people learn and integrate
basic principles of effective
living into their basic
character.
 THE PERSONALITY &
CHARACTER ETHICS
 According to the personality ethic,
success is a function of:
 Personality

 Public image
 Attitude & behavior
 Comn skills & techniques
 Two paths:
 Human & public relations techniques
 Positive mental attitude (PMA).
 BACK TO COVEYS’ SON
 Their techniques obsessed them to
the exclusion of genuine concern
 Began to see their role as being to
affirm, enjoy & value him
 Withdrawal of protective attitude
pains, but results in confidence &
self-affirmation
 PRIMARY & SECONDARY
GREATNESS
 Personality building, comn
skills, positive thinking are
secondary, not primary,
traits.
 In building, do not forget the
foundation on which
everything else must rest.
 PRIMARY & SECONDARY
GREATNESS
 Personality ethics can win
only short-term victories.
 You cannot cram on a farm.
 “What you are shouts so loudly
in my ears I cannot hear what
you say.” - Emerson.
 THE POWER OF A
PARADIGM
 “The map is not the territory.”
 What a wrongly printed map
heading can lead to
 A paradigm is a theory, an
explanation, a model, of
something else.
 The age of the woman
 THE FLAW OF
PSERSONALITY ETHICS
 If ten seconds can have such
impact on the way we see
things, what about the
conditioning of a lifetime?
 Trying to change outward
attitudes & behaviors doesn’t
help in the long run, examining
the paradigms from which they
flow does.
 “For every thousand
hacking at the leaves
of evil, there is one
striking at the root.”
… Thoreau
 THE POWER OF A
PARADIGM SHIFT
 Thomas Kuhn: every
significant break through in
scientific endeavor involves a
break with tradition, from
Ptolemy to Copernicus, from
Newton to Einstein
 Our paradigms are the sources
of our behavior – the subway
man with the unruly kids
 FRANK KOCH’S
PARADIGM SHIFT AS A
BATTLESHIP CAPTAIN
 SIGNALLING AT SEA
We are on a collision course,
advise you change course 20
degrees.

Advisable for you to

change course 20 degrees.

I’m a captain, change

course 20 degrees.

I’m a seaman second class.

You had better change course
20 degrees.
 SIGNALLING AT SEA

I’m a battleship. Change course

20 degrees.

I’m a lighthouse.
THE PRINCIPLE-CENTRED
PARADIGM
 Principles, natural laws
woven into the fabric of
every civilized society, are
like lighthouses.
 “It is impossible for us to break
the law. We can only break
ourselves against the law.” –
Cecil B. deMille
 WHICH ARE THESE
PRINCIPLES?
 Fairness
 Integrity and honesty
 Human dignity
 Service
 Quality, or excellence
 Potential, growth
 Patience, nurturance, encouragement
THE PRINCIPLE-CENTRED
PARADIGM
 Principles constitute a subjective reality, self-
evident to an individual, independent of faith
or religion.
 Practices are situation-specific (raising a
second child on the model of the first), while
principles are universally applicable.
 Principles are not values (a gang of thieves).
PRINCIPLES OF GROWTH
AND CHANGE
 There are no short-cuts or quick-
fixes in growth: each step is
important and no step can be
skipped.
 Thinking, or pretending, that you are
an international-level tennis player
will not make you one.
 Natural growth requires adherence
to natural principles.
 THE WAY WE SEE THE
PROBLEM IS THE PROBLEM
 Disloyal employees – have we
done enough to motivate them?
 Short of time always – is a
planner the correct answer or is
it our own inner efficiency?
 A marriage gone sour – is the
problem with the spouse or with
ourselves?
 A NEW LEVEL OF
THINKING
 As long as the problem is “out there”,
there is nothing we can do about it.
 The Outside-In approach traps
people in feelings of victimization
and immobilization.
 Inside-Out means to start with the
innermost side of ourselves – our
paradigms, character & motives.
 A NEW LEVEL OF
THINKING
 Private victories precede public
victories.
 If I want to be trusted, I must first
make myself trustworthy.
 Likewise for my expectations as a
spouse, a parent, an employee.
PARADIGMS &
PRINCIPLES
THE SEVEN HABITS – AN
OVERVIEW
 WHAT IS A HABIT?

“We are what we

repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not
an act, but a habit.”
… Aristotle
 WHAT IS A HABIT?

 “Sow a thought, reap an action; Sow

an action, reap a habit; Sow a
habit, reap a character; Sow a
character, reap a destiny”.
 The gravitational pull of our habits
may keep us from going where we
want to go, but the same pull
gives cohesion in our life.
 HABITS DEFINED

Knowledge
(What to, Why to)

HABITS

Skills (How to) Desire (Want to)

 THE MATURITY
CONTINUUM

Dependence (You)

Independence (I)

Inter-dependence (We)
THE SEVEN HABITS PARADIGM
Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
 7 HABITS &
EFFECTIVENESS DEFINED
 Create an empowering center of
correct maps
 From which an indl can effectively
solve problems
 Maximize opportunities
 Continually learn and integrate other
principles
 In an upward spiral of growth.
THE P/PC BALANCE
EXCESSIVE FOCUS ON P
 Ruined health
 Broken
relationships
 Worn-out
machines
 Depleted bank
accounts
 Damaged
environment
EXCESSIVE FOCUS ON PC

 The
eternal
student
syndrome
THREE KINDS OF ASSETS
 Physical – A lawn mower.
 Financial – would we improve our
std of living from our principal or
from our interests?
 Human:
 Humans control both physical and
financial assets.
 When it comes to cleanliness of her
room, a man’s daughter can be his
goose.
 ORGANIZATIONAL PC

 “Always treat your employees

exactly as you would want them
to treat your best customers.”
 Inheriting an over-worn
machine from your predecessor.
 Watering down the curry can
cost a restaurant its loyal
customer base.
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
HABIT 1: BE
PROACTIVE
PRINCIPLES OF PERSONAL
VISION
 THE SOCIAL MIRROR
 Prevent self-awareness by creating
a distorted vision
 Projections rather than reflections:
“You’re never on time.”
“Why can’t you ever keep things in
order?”
“You must be an artist!”

“Why can’t you understand?”

 THREE THEORIES OF
DETERMINISM
 Genetic determinism:
 Blame it on your DNA
 That’s how the Irish behave!

 Psychic determinism:
 That’show your parents brought you up
 You remember rejection, failure

 Environmental determinism:
 Your boss / spouse / nation / economic
policies are responsible
 THE STIMULUS-
RESPONSE THEORY
STIMULUS RESPONSE

Between stimulus and response, a

man has the freedom to choose.
 THE PROACTIVE MODEL

STIMULUS RESPONSE

FREEDOM TO CHOOSE

Self-Awareness Free Will

Imagination Conscience
 THE PROACTIVE MODEL
 Pro-activity proclaims freedom,
reactivity resigns to servitude.
 Pro-activity = Responsibility =
“Response” + “Ability”
 “I know of no more encouraging fact
than the
unquestionable ability of man
to elevate his life by
constant endeavor.”
… Eleanor Roosevelt
 VICTOR FRANKL’S
LADDER OF VALUES

ATTITUDINAL

CREATIVE

EXPERENTIAL
 REACTIVITY VS.
PROACTIVITY
 Act or be acted upon.

R & I = Resourcefulness and

Initiative.
 “Love” is a verb more than a
feeling.
 Ifwe let our feelings control
our actions, we abdicate our
responsibility.
 REACTIVITY VS.
PROACTIVITY
Reactive language Proactive language
There’s nothing I can do. Let’s look at our alternatives.
That’s just the way I am. I can choose a different
approach.
He makes me mad. I control my own feelings.
I have to do that. I can choose an appropriate
response.
I must. I prefer.
I can’t. I choose.
If only. I will.
 CIRCLES OF CONCERN
AND INFLUENCE
No concern

Circle of Concern
Circle of
Influenc
e
 REACTIVE FOCUS

No concern

Circle of Concern
Circle of
Influenc
e
 PROACTIVE FOCUS

No concern

Circle of Concern
Circle of
Influenc
e
 FOR THE POWERFUL…

No concern

Circle of Influence
Circle of
Concern
 CLASSIFYING OUR PROBLEMS
Problems

Direct Control Indirect Control No Control

Private Victory Public Victory AA Prayer
 Be Proactive  Synergize.  Courage.
 Begin with  Think win / win.  Serenity.
the end in mind.  Seek first to  Wisdom.
 Put first
understand, then
things first. to be understood.
 EXPANDING OUR CIRCLE
OF INFLUENCE
 It is easier to say, “I am not
responsible”, because if I say, “I am
responsible”, then I might also have to
say, “I am irresponsible.”
 Gandhi’s circle of influence – paddy
fields.
 Proactive people are NOT pushy or
aggressive, rather they are smart, they
are value-driven, they read reality and
learn what is required.
 THE “OUTSIDE-IN” &
“INSIDE-OUT” PARADIGMS
 The Outside-In Paradigm:
What’s out there has to change
before we can change (e.g., if
only we had a less dictatorial
boss, a more patient wife, a more
obedient child).
 The Inside-Out Paradigm: By
being different, we can positively
change what is out there.
 THE “OUTSIDE-IN” &
“INSIDE-OUT” PARADIGMS
 Adopting the inside-out paradigm
means:
 Shifting focus from the circle of
concern to the circle of influence.
 Shifting focus from what we wish we
“had” to what we can “be”.
 Recognizing mistakes as a means of
turning failure into success.
 Recognizing that the power to make
and keep commitments, however
small, is the essence of developing
the habits of effectiveness.
 SUMMARIZING THE
PROACTIVE APPROACH
 The problem is never “out-there”, it
is always “in here”, where we can
change it, or else accept it with
serenity.
 Each one of us is ultimately
responsible for his or her own
effectiveness, even for our
happiness & our circumstances.
 Be part of the solution, not of the
problem.
 SUMMARIZING THE
PROACTIVE APPROACH
 By making and keeping small
commitments, we exercise our
embryonic freedom, and thereby
gradually expand that freedom.
 Focus only on things that lie
inside your circle of influence,
do not waste more time than
necessary over those in the
outer circle of concern.
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH
THE END IN MIND
PRINCIPLES OF PERSONAL
LEADERSHIP
 WHEN WE’RE DEAD &
GONE…
 How we would like to be
remembered as:
A son or a father or a brother?
A friend?

Someone others knew at the

work-place?
A member of our community?
 ALL THINGS ARE
CREATED TWICE
 The Carpenter’s Rule: “Measure twice,
cut once”.
 First in their conceptualization, next in their
realization.
 We must accept responsibility for both
creations, or else spend our lives reactively
acting out scripts written in the chaos of our
life by our parents, or employers, or sheer
pressure of circumstance.
 LEADERS & MANAGERS

Are we in the correct jungle?

 LEADERSHIP &
MANAGEMENT
 “Management is doing things right,
Leadership is doing the right things.”
 No management success can
compensate for failure in leadership.
 Made more pressing because of rapidly
changing environment, obsolescence of
products & services, a globalized &
unpredictable market.
 PERSONAL MISSION
STATEMENT
 The essence of Victor
Frankl’s Logotherapy: most
mental / emotional illnesses
stem from an underlying
sense of emptiness or
meaninglessness.
 Like a constitution, provides
a basic direction to which we
can align other goals and
means.
 CREATIVITY

SELF-AWARENESS CONSCIENCE

CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

Security Power

Guidance Wisdom
 Security Guidance
Sense of worth Frame of ref
Identity Sense of direction
Emotional anchorage Provides stds & principles
Self-Esteem
Wisdom
Power Perspective on life
Capacity to act Sense of balance
Strength, endurance Encompasses:
Energy to make Judgment
Discernment
choices
Comprehension
Overcome set habits.
 S e lf S p o u s e

C hurch F a m i ly

Enem y PRINCIPLES
M oney

F r ie n d W ork
Possess-
P le a s u r e
io n s
 SPOUSE (OR FRIEND)-
CENTRED MAN
 Security:

 Sense of security depends on how spouse treats

him
 Highly vulnerable to moods

 Disagreement - Disappointment
 Guidance:
 Dictated by spouse/ marriage

 Wisdom:
 Dictated by spouse/ marriage

 Power:
 Ltd by str of self/spouse
 FAMILY-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Founded on family acceptance

 Volatileagainst family expectations

 Self worth = family reputation

 Guidance:
 Script written by family

 Wisdom:
 Whatever is good for the family

 Power:
 Actions ltd by family tradition
 MONEY-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Vulnerable to economic insecurity

 Self worth = financial worth

 Guidance:
 Profit-driven

 Wisdom:
 Whatever is good for more money

 Power:
 Actions ltd by financial resources and
imbalanced vision
 WORK-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Self definition based on occupation
 Comfortable only when working

 Guidance:
 Driven by needs/expectations of work

 Wisdom:
 Life = work

 Power:
 Actions ltd by:
 Occupational opportunities, org constraint
 Boss’s perceptions
 POSSESSION-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Based on reputation/social status
 Self worth = worth of possessions

 Guidance:
 Driven by acquiring/ protecting/ displaying
possessions
 Wisdom:
 Comparative economic/social relation

 Power:
 Actions ltd by what he can buy or social
status he can gain
 PLEASURE (OR SELF)-
CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Feels secure only on short-lived,
anesthetizing, pleasurable “high”
 Guidance:
 Driven by need for more pleasure

 Wisdom:
 What’s in it for me?

 Power:
 Almost negligible
 ENEMY-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Vulnerable to en movements
 Always wonders what en is up to
 Seeks self-justification from like-minded

 Guidance:
 Dependent on what thwarts the en

 Wisdom:
 Narrow, distorted, defensive, paranoid

 Power:
 Destructive negative energy based on anger,
envy, resentment, vengeance
 CHURCH-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Vulnerable to religious disappointment
 Dependent on church authorities

 Guidance:
 How others evaluate him in context of
church teachings & expectations
 Wisdom:
 Fractured-Believers Vs. Non-believers

 Power:
 Depends on perceived church role/ posi
 PRINCIPLE-CENTRED MAN
 Security:
 Based on changeless principles
 Repeatedly validated through personal
experience
 Understanding of own development
 A stable core enables him to look at chang
as an adventure
 Guidance:
 An unfailingly consistent compass

 Decisions based on a principled conscienc

 PRINCIPLE-CENTRED MAN
 Wisdom:
 Wise balance & self-assurance
 A fundamental paradigm for effective,
provident living
 Interpret sits as opportunity for self-
development
 A proactive lifestyle, independent of
changing circumstances & sits.
 Power:
 Ability to act reaches far beyond own
resources, encourages and is in turn
nourished by the freedom of
interdependency.
 PERSONAL MSN
STATEMENT
 Frankl: We detect rather than invent
our msn. “Everyone has his own
specific vocation or mission in life…
Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can
his life be repeated.”
 “Each man is questioned by life… to life
he can only respond by being
responsible.”
 Habit 1 says: “You are the
programmer,” Habit 2 says: “Write
your program.”
STEPPING INTO THE CREATIVITY
ZONE

Expand perspective

Visualization & affirmation

 EXPAND PERSPECTIVE
 By visualizing, in rich detail,
events such as:
 Own funeral
 Marriage Anny a decade later

 Retirement / second career

 Results in an affirmation of
fundamental principles & values,
the pettiness of mundane
things, and the power of love.
 VISUALIZATION &
AFFIRMATION
 Dr. Charles Garfield: All world-
class athletes and peak
performers are visualizers – they
experience it before they do it.
 Example of a affirmation:
“Itis deeply satisfying (emotional)
that I (personal) respond (present
tense) with wisdom, love, firmness
and self-control (positive) when
my children misbehave.”
 ORG MSN STATEMENTS
 IBM:
 Dignity of the individual
 Excellence
 Service
 No involvement, No commitment.
 Creates great unity, tremendous
commitment.
 Promotes self-governance among
employees, eliminating criticism,
excessive supervision / control /
direction.
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST
PRINCIPLES OF PERSONAL
MANAGEMENT
“Things that matter
most
must never be at the
mercy of things which
matter least.”
… Goethe
 WHY PRIORITIZE? THE
ROCK & BUCKET STORY
 Start with a bucket, some big rocks enough to fill
it, some small stones, some sand and water.
 Put the big rocks in the bucket - is it full?
 Put the small stones in around the big rocks - is it
full?
 Put the sand in and give it a shake - is it full?
 Put the water in. Now it's full.
 The point is: unless you put the big rocks in first,
you won't get them in at all.
 LEADERSHIP &
MANAGEMENT
 Habit 2 is the mental creation, Habit
3 is the physical creation.
 Leadership decides what “first
things” are; management puts them
first, day by day, moment by
moment.
 “Manage from the left; lead from the
right.”
 MANAGEMENT &
DISCIPLINE
 Hinges on the 4th human endowment:
Independent will.
 An effective manager is characterised
by inner discipline.
 Discipline derives from “disciple”.
 An effective manager is a disciple of his
inner values and their source, and
possesses the will to subordinate his
feelings, moods and impulses to these
values.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST
FOUR GENERATIONS OF
MANAGEMENT
 FOUR GENERATIONS OF
TIME MANAGEMENT
 Gen 1: Notes, check-lists.
 Gen 2: Calendars, Appt Books.
 Gen 3:
 Weighting relative worth of activities
against values.
 Setting specific short, intermediate and
long-term goals.
 Working out a specific daily plan to
accomplish goals and activities
deemed most worthy.
 FOUR GENERATIONS OF
TIME MANAGEMENT
 Gen 4:
 Gen 3 management made people feel
too scheduled, restricted and non-
spontaneous.
 Gen 4 recognizes that the challenge is
not to manage time or things, but
ourselves.
 Focuses on preserving and enhancing
relationships as well as accomplishing
results- the P/PC Balance.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST
THE FOUR QUADRANTS OF
ACTIVITIES
 TIME MANAGEMENT MATRIX
Urgent Not Urgent
Important

Crises Prevention, PC
I II
Pressingproblems Relationship building
Deadline-driven Recognizing new
projects opportunities
Planning, recreation

Interruptions, some III IV

Not Important

Trivia,
busy work
calls
Some mails & reports Some mails, some phone


Some meetings
calls
Time wasters
Proximate, pressing
Pleasant activities
matters
Popular activities
 QUADRANT I PEOPLE

I II

Stress
90% Time
Burnouts 10%
Time
Crisis
management
Always putting out fires

IV
III
 QUADRANT III PEOPLE

I II

 Short-term focus
 Crisis management

 Reputation: chameleon III IV

character
 See goals & plans as worthless

 Feel victimized, out of control

 Shallow or broken relationships

 QUADRANTS III & IV

I II

Total irresponsibility
 Fired from jobs
 Dependent on others or
institutions for basics

III IV
 QUADRANT II PEOPLE

Building
I relationships

 Vision, perspective
Preparation  Balance
 Discipline Writing a pers
msn
 Control
Long range statement
planning  Few crises

Preventive Exercisin
maint g
II
 QUADRANT II PEOPLE

 Opportunity minded, not problem

minded
 Feed opportunities, starve problems
 By thinking preventively, reduce the size
of Quadrant I
 Focus on activities of Quadrant II, which,
if done regularly, impact our lives
II
tremendously
 QUADRANT II PEOPLE

 Illustration: the shopping centre

managers and their tenants
 The Pareto principle: 80% of the
results flow out of 20 % of the
activities II
 MOVING INTO
QUADRANT-II
 Initial time to move to Q-II has to
come out of Qs-III & IV.
 Learn to say “No” – the good is often
the enemy of the best.
 It’s almost impossible to say “No” to
the popularity of Q-III, or the
pleasure of escape to Q-II, unless
we have a bigger “Yes” burning
inside.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST
CRITERIA FOR A QUADRANT-II
ORGANIZER
 SIX CRITERIA FOR A
QUADRANT-II TOOL
 Coherence: Harmony between msn,
goals, priorities, discipline.
 Balance: Success in career is not
worth a broken marriage, ruined
health, or weakness in personal
character.
 Plan weekly: The key is not to
prioritize what is on your schedule,
but to schedule your priorities.
…
 SIX CRITERIA FOR A
QUADRANT-II TOOL
 A “People” Dimension: At times,
it is worth it to sub-ordinate a
schedule to building a
relationship with a person.
 Flexibility: Your planning tool
should be your servant, never
your master.
 Portability.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST
COMPONENTS OF
QUADRANT-II ORGANIZING
 IDENTIFYING ROLES &
SELECTING GOALS
Write a pers msn
statement
Individual / Pers Devp Catch up on networking
trends
Fix the washing machine
Husband / Father Help with child’s
homework

Draw up a leave program

Adm Manager Organize a get-together

 IDENTIFYING ROLES &
SELECTING GOALS
Monitor down-time
Tech Manager Select eqpt for certain
tech activity
Identify means to
minimize costs
Material Manager
Identify surplus inventory

Org a trg cadre on a new

eqpt
Staff Devp
Performance review
 SCHEDULING
 Set a two-hour slot aside on
Sunday to write a personal msn
statement.
 Set an hour aside on Saturday
to teach the kid maths.
 Set aside an hour every two
days for exercise
 The weekly worksheet
 DAILY ADAPTING

 Take a few minutes every morning to review

schedule

 Prioritize activities and respond to unanticipated

events in light of commitment to personal value-
based decisions
 LONG-TERM ORGANIZING

Msn
Roles Goals
Statement

WEEKLY ORGANIZING

Schedule
Roles Goals Plans
Delegate
 LIVING IT
 Habit 1: “You are the programmer.” Habit 2:
“Write the program.” Habit 3: “Run (‘Live’)
the program.”
 Need for commitment, integrity, self-discipline.
 As a principle-centered person, we can subordinate
our schedule to a higher value without guilt.
 People are more important than things.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST
THINGS FIRST

DELEGATION
 PRODUCER
Input Output

MANAGER

Input Output
 PRINCIPLE OF
DELEGATION

“Trust is the
highest form of
motivation.”
DEGREES OF DELEGATION
 "Wait to be told." or "Do exactly what I
say." or "Follow these instructions
precisely."
 "Look into this and tell me what you come
up with. I'll decide."
 "Give me your recommendation, and the
other options with the pros and cons of
each. I'll let you know whether you can go
ahead.“
 "Decide and let me know your decision,
but wait for my go ahead."
 "Decide and let me know your decision,
then go ahead unless I say not to."
DEGREES OF DELEGATION
 "Decide and take action, but
let me know what you did."
 "Decide and take action. You
need not check back with
me."
 "Decide where action needs
to be taken and manage the
situation accordingly. It's
your area of responsibility
now."
 TYPES OF DELEGATION
 Gofer Delegation.
 “Go for this, go for that, do this, do that, and tell
me when it is done.”
 The other person does not develop any
commitment.
 Focused on methods, stay responsible for the
results.
 Stewardship Delegation.
 Focused on results, give the other person choice
of methods.
 Clear, mutual, up-front understanding and
commitment regarding results.
 STEPS IN EFFECTIVE
DELEGATION

 Define the task

 Select the individual
 Assess ability and training
needs
 Explain the reasons
 State required results
 STEPS IN EFFECTIVE
DELEGATION

 Consider resources required

 Agree on deadlines
 Support and communicate
 Feedback on results
 SMARTER: THE SMART
DELEGATION RULE
 A simple delegation rule is the
acronym SMART, or better still,
SMARTER. It's a quick checklist for
proper delegation.
 Delegated tasks must be:
 Specific
 Measurable
 Agreed
 Realistic
 Timebound
 Ethical
 Recorded …
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
PUBLIC VICTORY
PARADIGMS OF
INTERDEPENDENCE
 THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCT
 Describes the amount of trust that’s
been built into a relationship.
Deposits Withdrawals

Courtesy Discourtesy

Kindness Disrespect

Honesty Ignoring

Keeping Betraying trust

commitments
Trust Level
 WITH A TEENAGE SON
Deposits Withdrawals
Bring home a “Clean your room”
magazine
Offer to help on a “Button your shirt”
project
Treat him to ice “Turn down the radio”
cream
Take him to a movie “Get a haircut”

Just listen to him and “Don’t forget to take

empathize out the garbage”
Trust Level
 SIX MAJOR DEPOSITS
 Understanding the individual
 Attending to the little things
 Keeping commitments
 Clarifying expectations
 Showing personal integrity
 Apologizing sincerely when you ma
 UNDERSTANDING THE
INDIVIDUAL
 Deposits may be perceived as
withdrawals by the other person
 A parent: “Treat them all the same
by treating them differently.”
 Habit 2 recognizes and recommits to
a person
 Habit 3 subordinates a schedule to a
human priority (a six-year old
interrupting project work)
 ATTENDING TO THE
LITTLE THINGS
 In relationships, little things are
big things.
 “If I were cold, would you put
your coat around me, too?”
 Small discourtesies, little
unkindnesses, little forms of
disrespect, make huge
withdrawals.
CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONS
 Different interpretations of roles:
 YOU: “When am I going to get a job
description?”
 BOSS: “I’ve been waiting for you to bring
me one.”
 YOU: “I thought defining my job was your
role.”
 BOSS: “That’s not my job at all. Don’t you
remember? Right from the start, I said
how you do in the job largely depends on
you.”
 YOU:”I thought you meant the quality of
my job. I don’t even know what my real
job is.”
CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONS
 Different interpretations of goals:
“You said…”
“No, you’re wrong. I said…”

“You did not! You never said I was

supposed to…”
“Oh yes, I did. I clearly
remember…”
”You never even mentioned… ”

“But that was our agreement…”

 SHOWING PERSONAL
INTEGRITY

 Honesty is conforming words to

reality, integrity is conforming
reality to words.
 Be loyal to those who are
present. Do not backbite –
confront if you have to.
APOLOGIZING SINCERELY
FOR A WITHDRAWAL

“It is the weak who are

cruel. Gentleness can
only be expected from
the strong.”
… Leo Roskin
 THE LAWS OF LOVE &
LIFE
 Unconditional love helps the loved
one feel secure, validated and
affirmed in essential growth (a
child’s career choice).
 Dag Hammarskjold: “It is more
noble to give yourself completely to
one individual than to labor
diligently for the salvation of the
masses.”
 THE LAWS OF LOVE &
LIFE
 No amount of technical
administrative skill in
laboring for the masses
can make up for lack of
nobility of personal
character in developing
relationships.
 P PROBLEMS ARE PC
OPPORTUNITIES
 Does the child come to the
parent with a problem or an
opportunity to invest in the
precious parent-child
relationship?
 Does a customer come to the
store clerk with a problem or an
opportunity to build a
relationship?
Think Win / Win
4
HABIT 4: THINK
WIN / WIN
PRINCIPLES OF
INTERPERSONAL LEADERSHIP
Who will win
the trip to
 SIX PARADIGMS OF
HUMAN INTERACTION
 Win / Win
 Win / Lose
 Lose / Win
 Lose / Lose
 Win
 Win / Win, or No Deal
 WIN / WIN
 Sees life as a co-operative, not
competitive, arena
 Agreements or solutions should be
mutually beneficial and mutually
satisfying
 All parties feel committed to action
 Neither “your” way, nor “my” way,
but a “higher” way
 WIN / LOSE
 “If I win, you lose.”
 Authoritarian leadership: “I get my way; you don’t
get yours.”
 Promotes cut-throat ism: “If I am better than my
brother, my parents will love me more.”
 In athletics, “winning” is “beating”
 “You got an ‘A’ because someone else got a ‘C’”.
 WIN / LOSE

 “Who’s winning in your marriage?”

 Most of life is an interdependent,
not an independent, reality. Hence
most results depend on co-
operation between us and others.
 LOSE / WIN
 Characterized by:
 “I lose, you win.”
 “Go ahead, have your way with me.”

 “Step on me again. Everyone does.”

 “I’m a loser. Always have been.”

 “I’m a peacemaker. I’ll do anything to keep peace.”

 “Be a nice guy, even if nice guys finish last.”

 Such people have little courage, are easily
intimidated, and seek strength through
popularity and acceptance.
 In negotiation - capitulation.
 In leadership – permissiveness / indulgence.
 WHAT LOSE / WIN BRINGS

 Decline in self-esteem.
 Cynicism, cumulative resentment, deep
disappointment, disillusionment.
 “Buried alive.”
 Psychosomatic illnesses, particularly of
the respiration, circulation and nervous
systems.
 Disproportionate rage against minor
provocation.
 WIN /LOSE & LOSE / WIN
 The weak submissiveness of lose / win
people supplements the
aggressiveness of win / lose people.
 Both win / lose and lose / win are
symptomatic of personal insecurity.
 Win / lose people are more successful –
lose / win people are weak and chaotic.
 Many people swing between the two,
driven by anger to win / lose, driven by
guilt to lose / win.
 LOSE / LOSE
 When two win-lose people get
together – the clash of two
stubborn, egotistic, un-yielding
people.
 Also the philosophy of highly
dependent, insecure people – “If
no one wins, perhaps being a
loser wouldn’t be so bad.”
 WIN
 Do not necessarily want the
other person to lose – only
interested that their own ends
should be achieved.
 Most common approach in
everyday negotiation.
 WHICH IS THE BEST?
 Win /Lose would be good:
 In a football match
 Two regional offices miles away
which have no functional
relationships (compete)
 Lose / Win would be good in a
relationship when you want to
genuinely affirm the other person.
 Win would be the only option if
your child’s life were in danger.
 WHICH IS THE BEST?
 Most of life is interdependent.
 Win / Lose may win in the short term
but will lose in the long term.
 Similarly Lose / Win leads to lose /
lose in the long term.
 Win is no foundation for any
productive relationship.
 Win-Win is the only healthy attitude
in an interdependent reality.
 WHICH IS THE BEST?

 A genuine win-win attitude is

characterized by:
 Staying in the comn process
longer.
 Listening more to the other
person.
 Expressing own point of view
strongly, clearly & honestly.
 Finding a synergistic solution, one
that both parties are happy with.
WIN / WIN OR NO DEAL

 If we fail to find a mutually

agreeable solution, we agree to
disagree agreeably – No deal
 That is to say, it’s either win-win
or nothing.
 Brings tremendous emotional
freedom.
 FIVE DIMENSIONS OF
WIN / WIN

1 2 3

Win/Win Win/Win Win/Win

Character Relationships Agreements

Supportive Systems (4) and Processes (5)

 CHARACTER

Abundance
Mentality

Integrity Maturity
 INTEGRITY
 Can be defined as the value we
place on ourselves
 To win, we must know what
“win” means in the context of
our innermost values
 Built up by Habits 1, 2 & 3
 Cornerstone in the foundation of
our trust
Consideration THE MATURITY MATRIX

Lose / Win Win / Win

Lose / Lose Win / Lose

Courage
ABUNDANCE MENTALITY
 A Scarcity Mentality
 Sees only one pie out there
 If anybody gets a big slice, there’s that
much less left for everybody else.
 An Abundance Mentality
 Grows out of a sense of deep personal
worth
 Sees plenty out there, enough to spare for
everybody.
 Promotes sharing of profit, prestige,
profits, decision-making.
ABUNDANCE MENTALITY

 “Public victory does not

mean victory over other
people. It means success
in effective interaction
that brings mutually
beneficial results to
everyone involved.”
 RELATIONSHIPS
 The emotional bank account is the
essence of a relationship.
 We are more likely to get someone to
agree with us if we have a positive
emotional bank account with them.
 Interpersonal leadership goes beyond
transactional leadership to
transformational leadership,
transforming the relationship as well as
the individuals involved.
 AGREEMENTS
 Performance or partnership agreements shift the
paradigm from:
 The vertical to the horizontal
 Hovering supervision to self-supervision
 Positioning to being partners in success.

 A Win-Win agreement has 5 elements:

 Desired results (what is to be done & when)
 Guidelines
 Resources
 Accountability (Stds of performance, evaluation)
 Consequences (of the evaluation)
 AGREEMENTS
 If the boss becomes first assistant
to each of his sub-ordinates, he can
greatly increase his span of control.
 Consequences of a Win-Win
agreement:
 Financial

 Psychic

 Opportunity (e.g., trg)

 Responsibility (scope, power)
 SUPPORTIVE SYSTEMS
 Out of 1000 employees, would you
like to reward 50 or 800?
 Assessment should be based not on
comparisons but on individuals
achieving performance objectives
and groups meeting team objectives.
 Co-operation in the workplace is as
important to free enterprise as
competition in the marketplace.
 SUPPORTIVE SYSTEMS
 Spirit of win-win cannot survive in an
environment of competitions and contest.
 For Win / Win to work, the trg sys, planning
sys, comn sys, info sys, compensation sys,
budgeting sys – all should be based on
win-win.
 Create teams of highly productive people
working together to compete against
external stds of performance.
 PROCESSES

 See the other point of view.

 Identify key issues & concerns.
 Determine what results would
constitute an acceptable
solution.
 Identify possible new options to
achieve those results.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST
TO UNDERSTAND,
THEN TO BE
UNDERSTOOD
PRINCIPLES OF EMPATHIC
COMMUNICATION
 CHARACTER &
COMMUNICATION

 Technique without character breeds

suspicion of duplicity, manipulation.
 The key to influence is conduct,
which flows out of character
 Unless you are influenced by my
uniqueness, I am not going to be
influenced by your advice.
 FIVE WAYS OF LISTENING
 Ignoring.
 Pretending.
 Selective listening.
 Attentive listening.
 Empathic listening.
 Listening with an intent – seeking first to -
understand.
 Getting inside another person’s frame of reference.
 COMPONENTS OF COMN
W ords
10%

Sounds
30%
Body
Language So, we listen with:
60%  Ears
 Eyes
 Heart
 DIAGNOSE BEFORE YOU
PRESCRIBE
 Do not attempt to solve another’s eye
problems with your pair of glasses.
 An amateur salesman sells products, a
professional sells solutions to needs &
problems.
 A good lawyer writes his opposite
attorney’s case before he writes his
own.
 FOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL
RESPONSES

 Evaluate – Agree or Disagree.

 Probe – Ask questions from own
frame of reference.
 Advise – Give counsel based on
own experience.
 Interpret – Try to figure people out,
their motives and behavior, based
on own motives and behavior.
 RESPONDING TO OTHERS
 We’ll never get to the problem if we
are so caught up in our own
autobiography, our own lenses, that
we fail to see the other’s point of
view.
 As long as the other person’s
response is logical, we can
effectively ask questions and give
counsel, but the moment it
becomes emotional, we must go
back to empathic listening.
 THE CORRECT RESPONSE
 Genuinely seek the welfare of the
other individual.
 Listen with empathy.
 Let the other person get to the
problem as well as the solution in his
own pace and time.
 When we listen, we become
influenceable.
 Becoming influencable is the key to
influencing others.
 THEN SEEK TO BE
UNDERSTOOD
 The sequence of an effective
presentation:
 Ethos:
 Personal credibility
 The trust we inspire with our integrity and
competence
 Pathos:
 Empathy
 Alignment with the emotional thrust of the
other person’s comn.
 Logos:
 Logic
 HABIT 6:
SYNERGIZE

PRINCIPLES OF CREATIVE CO-

OPERATION
 SYNERGY

 The whole is more than sum of the parts

(1 + 1 = 3 or more).
 The relationship between parts of the
whole is a catalytic, empowering part in
itself.
 Two plants growing close promote each
others’ growth.
 Challenge: to apply such natural creative
co-operation in social interactions.
SYNERGISTIC COMMUNICATION
 Learn to value all differences:
 Physical
 Social

 Mental
 Emotional

 Challenge: to step out of protective / defensive

comn, and use our sense of personal security,
openness and adventure to co-operate creatively
with others.
 Synergy is achieved when the group collectively
agrees to subordinate the old script & write a new
one.
 SYNERGISTIC
COMMUNICATION
 Becoming authentic and genuine, even
about personal matters & self-doubts,
encourages others to open themselves
up.
 Genuine creative empathy brings about
new learning and insights and promotes
creativity.
 “We seek not to imitate the masters, but
rather to seek what they sought”.
 LEVELS OF COMN

HIGH
Synergistic
(Win/Win)

Respectful
(Compromise)
Trust

Defensive
LOW (Win/Lose or Lose/Win)

LOW Co-operation HIGH

 DEFENSIVE COMN
 Characterized by legalistic language that:
 Covers all bases.
 Spells out qualifiers and escape clauses for when
things go wrong.
 Adopted by;
 Administrators laying down rules & regulations
based on abuses by a miniscule minority, stifling the
freedom & creativity of the majority
 Business partners scared of a doomsday scenario,
choking creativity, enterprise & synergy in legalistic
tangles.
 RESPECTFUL COMN

 Adopted by mature people avoiding

the possibility of a confrontation
 Polite, not empathic
 Give-and-take compromise:
1 + 1 = 1 1/ 2.
 Lack of creativity & synergy.
 SYNERGISTIC COMN
 1 + 1 = 4 or 8 or 16 or even 1000.
 Creative enterprise constitutes a
mini-culture with P/PC balance.
 Solutions found better than any
originally proposed.
 (Fishing for the third alternative).
 NEGATIVE SYNERGY
 Caused by:
 Politicking, confessing others’ sins
 Rivalry, Interpersonal conflict

 Protecting one’s back-side

 Driving with one foot on the gas,

the other on the brake.
 The left-brained husband and
the right-brained wife – how did
they get to have two children?
 KURT LEWIN’S FORCE FIELD
Unconscious
EmotionaRestraining Forces
l Social/Psy
Negative Illogical

Current Performance Level (Equilibrium)

Economic
Positive Logical
Driving Forces
Reasonable Conscious
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)
 Surrounds all
others because it
makes all others
possible
HABIT 7: SHARPEN
THE SAW

PRINCIPLES OF BALANCED
SELF-RENEWAL
 A CONVERSATION IN THE
WOODS
What are
you doing?
Can’t you see? I’m
sawing down this
tree.

You look exhausted!

How long have you
been at it?
Over five hours,
and I’m bet! This is
hard work.
 A CONVERSATION IN
THE WOODS

Well, why don’t you take a break

for a few minutes and sharpen
that saw? I’m sure it would go a
lot faster.

I don’t have time to

sharpen the saw. I’m too
busy sawing!
FOUR DIMENSIONS OF
RENEWAL

Physical Mental
Reading
Exercise
Visualizing
Nutrition
Planning
Stress Management
Writing

Social / Emotional
Spiritual
Service
Value Clarification
Empathy
& Commitment
Synergy
Study and Meditation
Intrinsic Security
 PHYSICAL
 6 hours a week can so significantly impact
the balance 162-165 hours of the week.
 A good exercise plan focusing on:
 Endurance
 Flexibility

 Strength

 A Q-II activity calling for a lot of will-power

 Significantly boosts self-esteem, self-
confidence and Integrity.
 SPIRITUAL
 “The greatest battles of life are fought
out daily in the silent chambers of the
soul” – David O. McKay
 A Zen Master:
 “How do you maintain your serenity and
peace?”
 “I never leave my place of meditation.”
 “I have so much to do today, I’ll need
to spend another hour on my knees.” –
Martin Luther
 MENTAL
 Television: A good servant but a poor master.
 Continuing education is vital mental renewal.
 Training our minds to be objective.
 “A person who doesn’t read is not better than
a person who doesn’t know how to read.”
 A book a month – two weeks – a week.
 Writing – journal, letters.
 SOCIAL / EMOTIONAL
 Empathic listening.
 Synergy.
 Intrinsic security stems from:
 Correct principles and accurate paradigms.
 A life of integrity

 Effective interdependent living

 Service

 “Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living in

this earth.” – N. Elder Tanner
 “Earn thy neighbor’s love.” – Dr. Hans Salye
 SCRIPTING OTHERS
 What do we reflect to others about
themselves?
 How much does that reflection
influence their lives?
 “Treat a man as he is and he will
remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should
be and he will become as he can
and should be.”
…
Goethe
 BALANCE IN RENEWAL
 An org whose focus is economic:
 Inter-departmental rivalry
 Defensive & protective comn

 Politicking

 Master-minding

 An org that develops in the dimensions of

service, human relations, economy, but not
in human resources:
 Benevolent autocracy
 Collective resistance

 Adversarism

 Excessive turnover
 BALANCE IN RENEWAL
 Any dimension that is neglected will
create negative force field resistance that
pushes against effectiveness and growth.
 An org has to treat all four dimensions
balancedly
 The economic (physical)

 How people are treated (social)

 How people are devp & used (mental)

 Service, job or contribution made by
the org (spiritual)
 SYNERGY IN RENEWAL
 The more proactive we are (1), the better
leadership (2) and management (3) we
can exercise over our lives.
 The more effectively we manage our lives
(3), the more time we find for renewal (7).
 The more we seek first to understand (5),
the more our ability to synergize (6) and
obtain win / win solutions (4).
 Private victory (1,2,3) will lead to public
victory (4,5,6).
 SYNERGY IN RENEWAL
 The renewal habit (7) renews and reinforces all
other habits.
 Physical renewal reinforces personal vision
(1).
 Spiritual renewal reinforces personal
leadership (2).
 Mental renewal reinforces personal
management (3).
 The daily private victory (a minimum of one
hour a day in renewal of physical, spiritual and
mental dimensions) is the key to the devp of
the 7 habits.
 THE UPWARD SPIRAL

 Renewal empowers us to move

upward in a spiral of growth, change,
continuous improvement.

 We must learn, commit and do,

again and again.
 THE UPWARD SPIRAL

Learn
Do
Commit
Learn
Commit
Do

Learn

Do Commit

Do Commit

Learn
 Inter-dependence (We)
Seek first to understand,
Synergize
Then to be understood
PUBLIC 6
5
VICTORY

Thank You!
Think Win/Win
4

Independence (I)
3
Put first
Things first
1 2
PRIVATE
Be VICTORY Begin with
Proactive The end in mind

Dependence (You)