Case 3:12-cr-00017-AWT Document 581 Filed 02/07/14 Page 1 of 3

Dear Honorable Judge Alvin Thompson, As I stand here before you today, I want to start off by saying that Im sorry and I take full responsibility for my actions on January 3, 2010. I am sorry to N.D. for hitting him. Im sorry for embarrassing myself, my family and the East Haven Police Department. This incident ultimately forced me to retire from my career as a police officer, a career I wanted since I was a teenager. However, after I retired, I had a choice to make about where my life would head. Rather than become bitter and blame others, I accepted responsibility and then went out and found a job so that I could support my family and be a productive member in my community. I hope that you will take my accomplishments in my career and my life into consideration today. I am a highly decorated officer with four Medals of Honor, the highest award that can be given. I have also received numerous other awards, citations, and letters of recognition in my career, mostly from being an active narcotic's officer who has seized kilograms of cocaine, heroin, pounds of marijuana, and guns. All of these cases were successfully prosecuted. I also have had many accomplishments in my personal life, from receiving the Roger Williams College Sportsmanship Hawk" award in 1991, being an instructor in a learn-to-skate program, a head coach and an assistant coach for both, youth hockey and little league programs, and being a member of the Connecticut Juvenile Diabetes Golf committee for their annual golf outing. Most importantly, I am a dedicated, trustworthy, and loyal husband, father, son, brother, uncle, and friend. As you are aware by now, I have been involved in numerous fatal police shootings during the past eight years. The first one was in 2006, where two police officers were shot in the line of duty after an armed robbery of a local gas station that led to a police pursuit. To this day, I know I did the right thing that night. Still, taking another person's life is not an easy decision to make. In 2008, almost two years exactly from the date of the first shooting, I had to make the same decision again. This time I shot a man who kept pointing a gun at me after a police pursuit. The result of this shooting had a different and more damaging effect on me though. It still was a very hard decision to make to take someone's life, but it changed me from within. I became

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angry, numb, irritable, short-tempered, depressed, narrow minded, suffered from anxiety, unable to sleep, and eventually led me to push people away. This then led me to stop carrying my gun while working sometimes, and I stopped wearing my bullet proof vest to protect myself. Also, I am sorry that I did not take more steps to control some of the officers under my command. At first I tried, specifically with one individual. After many times of trying and with no support from the department, it was at this time I stopped caring. Looking back it was then I knew I really didnt want to be a police officer anymore. My third shooting occurred in 2010, once again during a foot pursuit. Once again I had to make the decision of discharging my weapon on a pit bull that was airborne in attacking me. The day that I retired, it felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders, knowing that I will never have to pull that trigger again. All of that difficult history brings me to the incident that causes me to stand in front of you today, which also was pursuit related. Once again, I would like to state that I take full responsibility and regret my actions that night and I apologize for them to the gentleman and the court. When the foot pursuit was over, officers were walking the gentleman to the police wagon, the gentleman , who was highly intoxicated and not cooperating, made a comment that "when I get out, I am going to find out where your family lives". My emotions got the best of me and I struck him in the chest area. My intention was not to injure the gentleman, but to get his attention and get him to calm down. After speaking with him, he was transported to the station where I had no further contact with the gentleman. I cannot justify my actions that day, they were wrong. It took all of the shootings and this incident for me to realize that I needed help for my PTSD that I was suffering from and in January, 2011, a year before the indictment, I sought help on my own. And I am still receiving help as of today. Regarding this investigation, there are two things that I cannot reconcile and that I must address. The first one is that I have been labeled a racist by some. Never in my life or career have I treated someone different because of their race. I was never mentioned in the original complainant to the police department that was filed or the pending lawsuit that is affecting the department today.

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The second thing is the use of phrase Millers Boys", I have never treated some of my co-workers different than anyone else I supervised. The only time I have used the phrase Millers Boys", is when I am referring to my two sons who bring me great pride. It upsets me that it made its way into this investigation. I have been given a second chance by my peers and friends, I am currently working full time and some of my responsibilities are to respond to officer-involved shootings, such as that tragic incident in Newtown and as recently as the beginning of this month. I am more than willing to share my experiences with these officers and others, hopefully helping them through these difficult times and advising them not to be embarrassed to get help. I would like to thank you for your time and considering the agreement that the government and myself have reached. Sincerely, John V. Miller