Characteristic of Abusers 3
Another characteristic that is common to the abuser is being manipulative. The abuser will go to great lengths to ensure the victim obeys their orders and forgives them for previous abuse. Many abusers will hurt their victims, emotionally, physically, and sexually and then use manipulation to make them forgive them for the abuse. For example when an abuser beats his wife or girlfriend he will buy flowers or express his love in order to manipulate the victim into forgiving them until the next time they beat their wife. The abuser will also use manipulation to break down the self esteem
of their victim by preying on the victim’s vulnerabilities.
Being critical is another characteristic of the abuser. Abusers are critical and no matter what the victim does they will never be able to satisfy the abuser. The abuser is always looking for a way to verbally abuse and degrade the victim no matter how clean they keep the house or how many time they have supper on the table on time. The abuser does not actually think the victim is doing anything wrong but instead takes pleasure in waiting for the victim to make a mistake. They will calm the victim names and tell them no one wants them or they are not good enough or a bad mother. Once characteristic of an abuser is many of them are substance abusers. In some cases the domestic abuse does not occur unless the abuser is intoxicated while in other case substance abuse just heightens the abuse. Substance abuse increases the level of abuse a victim receivies by their abuser. Substance abuse and domestic violence seem to be inextricably linked (). The domestic abuser will only increase the abuse when they are intoxicated and will have far less control of their actions. Substances, such as alcohol only increase the emotional response by the abusers and make the situation more volatile. While substance abuse heightens the abuse many critics find substance