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Volume 1
Take a whiff, take some laughs and be happyA collection of jokes for sherry and giggles and maybe abuzz.Compiled by Bernard SinaiFebruary 2008
Table of Contents
1.Unrecognizable Truth ....................................................................................................31.Key to Heaven ...............................................................................................................32.Queen of the Air ............................................................................................................43.The Fig Temptation .......................................................................................................44.Baked Surprise ..............................................................................................................55.Lie in my name… .........................................................................................................56. 80 vs. 20 .......................................................................................................................67. Fly Hunter ....................................................................................................................78.Smell the Fork ...............................................................................................................79.Polish Divorce ...............................................................................................................810.Better Business Deal ...................................................................................................911.Noah from Milne Bay and His Big Canoe ..................................................................912.Lie Clock ...................................................................................................................1013.Coast Clear ................................................................................................................1014.You’re Next! .............................................................................................................1015.Blind Help .................................................................................................................1016.Mirror Image .............................................................................................................1117.Lone Confession .......................................................................................................1118.Air Niugini Panic Time .............................................................................................1119.Political Review ........................................................................................................1220.Forget DNA…smile ..................................................................................................1221.The Wife Store ..........................................................................................................1322.Zachary and Math Class ............................................................................................1423.Royal Thing ..............................................................................................................1424.The Preacher’s Bike ..................................................................................................1525.Plug In Death ............................................................................................................1626.4 Men and Their Sons ...............................................................................................1627.Fireman, More Hose .................................................................................................1628.Kids Are Quick ....................................................................................................1729.A Priest Cannot Lie ...................................................................................................1830.Magic Elevator ..........................................................................................................1931.Bar Exchange ............................................................................................................1932. Detective Chen .........................................................................................................1933. Death Wish ...............................................................................................................2034. Escapee’s Delight .....................................................................................................2035. Technologically Advanced ......................................................................................2036. Dirty League ............................................................................................................2137. The Legend of Turner Brown ..................................................................................2138. First Year Med. Students. ........................................................................................2239. Why we love children ..............................................................................................22
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1.UnrecognizableTruth
At the hospital a middle agedwoman had a heart attack andwas taken to the hospital. Whileon the operating table she had anear death experience. SeeingGod, she asked, "Is my timeup?" God said, "No, you haveanother 43 years, 2 months and8 days to live". Upon recovery,the woman decided to stay inthe hospital and have a facelift,liposuction, and a tummy tuck.She even had someone come inand change her hair colour.Since she had so much moretime to live, she figured shemight as well make the most of it. After her last operation, shewas released from the hospital.While crossing the street on herway home, she was killed by anambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thoughtyou said I had another 40 years?Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?”God replied, “I didn't recognizeyou.”
1.Key to Heaven
It was time for Father John'sSaturday evening bath andyoung sister MagdaleneEdwards had prepared the bathwater and towels just the waythe old nun had instructed.Sister Magdalene was alsoinstructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she couldhelp it, do whatever he told herto, and pray. The next morning the old nunasked Sister Magdalene how theSaturday night bath had gone.“Oh, sister,” said the young nundreamily. “I've been saved.”“Saved? And how did that finething come about?” asked theold nun.“Well, when Father John wassoaking in the tub, he asked meto wash him, and while I waswashing him he guided my handdown between his legs where hesaid the Lord keeps the Key toHeaven.”“Did he now,” said the old nunevenly.Sister Magdalene continued,“And Father John said that if theKey to Heaven fit my lock, theportals of Heaven would beopened to me and I would beassured of salvation and eternalpeace and then Father Johnguided his Key of Heaven intomy lock.”“Is that a fact,” said the old nunmore evenly.“At first it hurt terribly, butFather John said the pathway tosalvation was often painful andthat the glory of God would soonswell my heart with ecstasy. Andit did, it felt so good beingsaved.”
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